My wife and I are currently experimenting with open marriage. We had been the typical suburbanite family with the SUV, a lawn mower and grill in the back yard family with a cat and dog to round things off. Only the bedroom was getting to the point of being simply a room where we slept and seldom did much else. We loved each other, but we were just plain bored. We'd gotten into a rut and did the same thing over and over again. In short we were bored out of our minds.
One night we were watching television dressed in our pajamas. Laurie was reading a Sunset magazine and I was reading a book. I guess we were more listening to television than watching when a story came on about open marriages. We each watched silently as the story unfolded and much to our surprise the people who had opened their marriage had done so because they had been going through the very same sort of thing Laurie and I were going through. Several different families were featured one had taken on a woman that they couple both 'knew' and loved. Another family had two men and a woman but where the two men shared only the wife and did not participate in any threesomes. The wife just had two men she could have sex with.
At one point in the program I saw my wife turn to look at me in one of her 'thoughtful' contemplative ways suggesting that she wanted to talk, but did not know quite how to broach it. I simply kept watching the program wondering if Laurie would go along with something like that. I eventually turned to look at her wondering how to bring it up to her and she pretended not to notice. The program ended and we turned off the television and continued on with what we had been doing until we each got tired and went to bed. In the dark with our backs to each other we contemplated the idea of an open marriage and how we could broach the subject without pissing off the other.
Early the next morning a Saturday as it happened, we had coffee as we normally did and talked about daily crap like the weather and other inane bullshit. Then my wife out of the blue, after looking around to see if there were any kids in earshot asked "What did you think of that open marriage thing last night?"
Before answering I also checked to see if there were any kids in earshot and replied "It seemed an interesting idea. It would seem a safer alternative than having an illicit affair while keeping the family together at the same time." My wives eyes seemed to brighten, while she attempted to hide any overt signs of excitement. "What did you think of it?" I asked.
She shrugged trying to seem nonchalant about the whole thing "I don't know if it would be appropriate to be so open. I think it would be better to keep it discrete.' Then she got visibly excited and nervous 'I think it would be exciting."
Sipping my coffee I looked out the window. I'd been toying with the idea of letting my wife have a boyfriend. It seemed an exciting alternative to the lack luster boredom of our recent rut of dull sex or extended bouts of no sex at all. Something had to change and I think she and I both knew it. "I think you are correct with something like that being discrete, it just wouldn't do to have the town in on something like that.' Looking at her directly I put my coffee cup down and said 'I'm willing to see where this sort of thing goes if you are agreeable. As you are more socially active than I am the chances are that you will likely find someone before I do, but I'm ok with that. It might also interest you to know that I find the prospect of you 'playing around' exciting."
My wives eyes opened wide at this revelation at the same time her excitement grew as did a small bit of anger, which she mastered before speaking. "Are you serious? You wouldn't mind my playing around?" I shook my head and smiled but said nothing. She looked at me not knowing what to think. "So if I happen to find someone who I am interested in and who is also interested in me...that I could, go someplace and be with them...physically...and...you wouldn't get upset?" I smiled and nodded. She didn't know how to respond it was clear she was excited but wasn't sure if she should be offended or not. Weeks went by and we would gauge each other with quick inquiries like "Well, did you find someone?" or "Have any luck?" Then one day upon asking her whether or not she'd found someone she nodded her head and said "Possibly, but I don't know if he is interested." She then looked at me suddenly and said "If something does happen, it might be a spur of the moment kind of thing, so I might not have time to give you a heads up that it is happening. So, do I have permission to act on the opportunity...if it presents?"
The fact that she had just affirmed her desire to be with another guy stunned me; not with jealousy or anything dark but with intrigue and curiosity about who this guy might be. I stammered out a reply with "Who is it?"
She smiled and replied "His name is Bill Stein he is a vender who is also a guest speaker on occasion. He is supposed to give a talk in a few weeks and I am supposed to help organize his presentation. It was during our first meeting that I noticed I was attracted to him. It happened to be a few days after that 'open marriage' thing on television. Maybe it got me thinking about it. I don't know maybe I'm just being foolish." She sipped her coffee and stared blankly out the window.
After a few minutes of absorbing what she had said I replied "Tell you what, if the opportunity presents and if he shows interest, just see where it goes. If anything does happen, or is about to, let me know. If you can't tell me beforehand tell me after the fact. I think if we agree to keep this sort of thing 'open' it will be a good indicator of our true feelings regarding 'open marriage'. Let's take the pressure off of the situation so that if anything does happen you don't have to bother yourself with contacting me beforehand. That way if this is something you want you can do it without worrying about me not knowing about it. I will ask that you at least tell me if and when this does happen."
Laurie smiled "Are you sure? I mean, what if something does happen and I tell you about it after...I don't want this to come back on me and have it hurt our marriage."
I nodded to her and kissed her cheek "I know, that is why we are talking about it and getting it all out in the open. That way if it happens 'that' is less likely to happen."