Everything is Event-Driven
by
littleOneWon
CH 01
When Freda called, I said that I wasn't interested in attending yet another meaningless party.
Freda was perplexed. She said, "Velda, you're the very definition of a party girl. I sure didn't expect a negative answer from you. Are you sick or something?"
"No, Freda, I've just been taking stock of my life lately. For twenty-five years, I've attended every party that I knew about and quite a few gatherings that became parties after I got there. What do I have to show for all of that? I'll tell you what: 'absolutely nothing.' If my parents hadn't insisted that I at least get an associate degree from the local junior college, I wouldn't have accomplished anything past my high school graduation.
"I need to take my life in a different direction. I think that I've wasted too many years on tawdriness. It's time for me to determine what I want out of life and start down the path to something meaningful, even if it means giving up my 'life of the party' image.
"Who would have dreamed that I would get to this point? Most of my friends have found a soulmate, married him, and either have kids or are planning to have some. I may be the life of the party, but the important things in life have passed me by. I have to change things and I'm spending lots of time contemplating where I went wrong. Attending another party isn't the answer. Sorry, Freda."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Velda. My cousin, Billy Joe, is going to be there. I'm sure you remember my stories about my many sexual escapades with him. I've seen quite a few cocks in my time, but none come close to what he is carrying around between his legs. Are you sure that you want to pass that up? Why not have one final fling before you enter a convent."
So, here I am at Freda's to attend yet another party while I check out her well-endowed cousin. Why can't I ever stick to my guns and start looking for 'mister right' instead of the guy with the biggest ding-dong?
Anyway, since it's a costume party, I dug out an old "Wonder Woman" outfit that shows a lot of bosom and quite a bit of everything else. Just what the doctor ordered to attract the attention of a future husband, right? I'll probably have lawyers, accountants, engineers, and doctors hanging all over me -- NOT!
As usual, the party was held in Freda's renovated barn. It's a perfect place for a party. There's lots of room. It features a stage and a big, modern, LED dance floor. Add to that a fantastic wet bar and booths in the darkened back area that feature benches big enough to sleep on.
First thing, Freda introduced me to Billy Joe. It took me all of fifteen minutes to decide that I couldn't endure him long enough to enjoy his big package. He couldn't string together enough words to make a complete sentence if his life depended on it. That never bothered me before, but for some reason, it did now. I wanted more than a pussy-stretching ream-job. I wanted at least a few minutes of comprehensible, if not insightful, conversation -- before being introduced to "Peter the Great!" That wasn't going to happen with the self-centered Billy Joe.
I walked over to the bar and took the stool at the end. A stool about halfway down was occupied by a guy in a Superman costume. I was just thinking to myself how cheesy that was when I remembered that I was Wonder Woman. Guess I didn't have any room to criticize. I watched Superman sip his beer. Maybe the mirror was distorting things, but his eyes were the brightest, most-piercing blue orbs that I'd ever witnessed in my multitude of eye-observing days. His 'blues' put mine to shame.
I couldn't remember for the life of me if superman's eyes were supposed to be blue. Hell, I didn't even know if my blue eyes were right for Wonder Woman. In the past, I wouldn't have given such matters any thought, but for some reason, tonight my brain had taken a detour into uncharted territory.
As I was debating with myself about eye color, Freda took the stool beside mine. "What are you doing here by yourself?" she asked. "Why are you abandoning Billy Joe to that gaggle of hags that are surrounding him?"
I said, "Well, since I'm Wonder Woman for the night, my interest just naturally turned to Superman." I pointed him out.
Freda's eyes quickly found Superman. She said, "Oh, girlfriend, don't waste your time. You're not his type. Not even close."
"Why do you say that? We both have blue eyes!"
"Well, just let me say this about that. He has three degrees. Besides his bachelor's, he has a master's and a Ph.D."
"Are you trying to intimidate me, Freda? Or am I supposed to be impressed by his degrees? Doesn't Ph.D. just mean, 'Piled Higher and Deeper?'
"So, he's well educated! I'll admit that he probably knows a lot of things that I don't even suspect, but I'll bet there are quite a few things that I know that he's never heard about -- if you get my drift." She just shook her head and said, "Do whatever you want to do, but you're wasting your time if you try to hit on him."
I decided to take the challenge. How bad could it be? If he has a bachelor's degree, he must be a bachelor, right? One thing's for sure, he's a human being and so am I.
I walked down and took the stool next to his. He turned to look at me and I said, "I've been trying to remember if Superman has blue eyes like you do."
He said, "What kind of questions is that? I'm Superman. My eyes are blue. End of story!"
I said, "So you're telling me that you are superman in flesh?"
He said, "Of course I am. Can't you see my big red "S"?
The way he said it made it sound like he was referring to his big red ass! I laughed, despite myself. I was taken aback. Is this guy with all of those degrees kidding around with a nobody like me?
He said, "Here you are doubting me, while I accept without reservation that you are Wonder Woman. After all, you have those perfect blue eyes that see everything.
I was beginning to enjoy the repartee. "Well, Superman, you'd be surprised at what all these blue eyes have seen. I'm quite impressed with what I'm seeing right now. Look, I can't keep calling you Superman and I won't answer to Wonder Woman. So, my name is Velda Vinson, and you are???"
"I'm Clark Kent."
"Sure you are! Come on man, be serious. I want to know your name."
"I am serious. My name is Clark Joseph Kent. My dad's name was Carl Kent and my mom was Carol Kent. They are both dead now but they must have been big fans of Superman. They never told me the whole story, but they actually hung superman's alter ego on me.
I was laughing too hard to respond. When things settled down, the band started preparing to play. He immediately asked me if I wanted to dance. I had no idea what to expect from him, but I was more than ready to find out.
I knew he couldn't possibly consider me to be his equal, because I'm not. I have one lousy associate's degree and I just barely qualified for it!
Did he have some kind of fantasy about being with a "gutter-girl?" Did he see me as an "easy fuck?" Was he wanting to see how far he could get and hoping it would be all the way? The only way I could find out was to accept his offer and see if he wanted to dance or if he wanted more. Either way, he wouldn't be disappointed.
The first three numbers were up-tempo and I was both surprised by -- and impressed with -- his dancing skills. He led me through many well-known moves and introduced me to some new ones. Then came the fourth song, a slow and very romantic old standard. His hands didn't stray even once. I felt warm and safe in his embrace. I'd never enjoyed dancing more than I enjoyed those dances with Superman. I loved my role as Wonder Woman. With each step we took, I 'wondered' if this night was real, or was I dreaming?
We danced to each and every song. We only took breaks when the band took theirs. He was tapped on the shoulder several times and each time he released his embrace to allow me to dance with the newcomer. I was the one that refused to change partners. I had the best, why would I want less?