(This installment comes after considerable delay and I'd like to apologize to all who have waited patiently for it. And to all who have been requesting me to work on the next part -- a tip of the hat and a big thank you.
Note that comments are more than welcome. You can comment on this story or send me an email via the link below. As usual, bricks and bouquets are welcome.)
JENNIFER'S SIDE
Where do you begin? You are the reason your husband is divorcing you. You have put him through 15 years of mental anguish and second class treatment. And in retaliation he wants to divorce you. He goes and fucks prostitutes in motels. So, the question is, where do you begin the healing? I don't know.
I sat down on the sofa opposite Arthur. I was in my parents' house, safe and sound. But the memory of what I saw was still fresh. I looked at Arthur after making myself comfortable. His eyes were busy scanning the newspaper, the way he always used to, while his right hand held a coffee cup, the way it always used to. I do not think the message could have been clearer. He was not interested in justifying anything, but would not stop me from asking. I had stood on the stairs, thinking that the discussion I was about to have would be the most important of my life. But sitting here, in front of Arthur, I found that my resolve had vanished. I just wanted things to get back to normal, if they could. And if Arthur was not going to make it easy for me, so be it, but I would get my marriage back. Though in what battered state I would claim it back, I was unwilling to speculate.
Now, this is where a normal wife would explode. Bring up the dirt on what she had seen. Try to use that as a leverage to get to a mutual understanding. Demand that while SHE had no right to treat him the way she did, HE should not have broken his vows either. But I was a different woman since last week. Going the normal way was not going to solve things. So I was going to be something Arthur DID NOT expect me to be. Calm, supportive, and most importantly, understanding. What he did was not good, but I had enough perspective to realize that what he did was in a situation that was ultimately created by me. And it took all my control not to jump and tear myself to pieces for what I had put my life and marriage through.
"I'll assume you are looking for a closure."
His question took me by surprise. After all, I expected him to be the detainee, not the interrogator.
I stared at him. Not trying to stare him down, but trying to search for answers. Who was this man? He sure looked like my husband but I didn't seem to know him. At least, not since last week.
Unlike fantasy, reality has no clear cut beginning and ending. So I decided to start with what I had on my mind.
"Arthur, was that you? Is there some way in which I could be mistaken?"
God, I hoped he would say yes. That he would say something about a twin brother whom he had never introduced, about how the light was bad in the motel room and how it was someone else in his room, of how there was 'another' Arthur with similar facial features that I mistook in the motel.
"No. It was me. I was sleeping with those two women. It was me you saw."
And despite my composure, I felt a chill go up my back. Arthur had said this so nonchalantly. It was almost as if he did not care how his answer would make me feel. He didn't say it diplomatically. He just said it as a matter of fact, like one would say, 'yes, I've shaved.'
"And...?" I continued.
"And what?"
Yes. He was DEFINITELY not going to make this easy on me.
"And you feel there is nothing wrong in this picture? After you stormed out of the house, I could not think. I did not know what I had done wrong. But I did realize it Arthur. With my mother, with my boss Sterling III, I know what they told me. And I didn't like it one bit Arthur. I know. Now. I have been giving so much of myself to FCB and my career that I did not have anything left for you. You have always treated me ahead of yourself and I have never ever thought beyond FCB and my goals. Yes, I know that now. And I was... no, am STILL ready to make amends. If you want, I'll put my resignation and spend the life with you, wherever you want. But this... what I saw ... How do I put this behind me Arthur? Do you hate me so much now?" I asked.
With a few simple statements I had put everything on line.
He just kept on staring at me. Not replying. Then he sighed and replied.
"What makes you think I hate you Jennifer?"
"It has to be hate Arthur. You didn't do that in the spur of the moment, did you? You must have thought about it. You could not love me anymore for you to plan doing this." I hoped the tears would stay inside.
"Why do you, even for a moment, consider that I have any emotion left for you Jennifer? Even if its hate?"
My mouth almost fell open at that. My God! What did he just say? I could not believe my ears!
Here we were, husband and wife and he was pretty much telling me he no longer cared for me! I had to control my heart, it was beating so fast, I was sure Arthur could hear it.
"What do you mean?" I asked. My voice was beginning to crack.
"When I planned and thought about this Jennifer, it was not because I hated you. It was because you were never in the equation. You were never in my thoughts when I did this. I did not feel it necessary to include you in my considerations. I didn't know you existed Jennifer."
He paused for the longest time.
