Everything For The Career Ch 02

(This part of the story does not contain any sex. If you are waiting for sex, wait till the third part comes out.

This is a story of a strong career-oriented woman, who gives up everything, including her sense of responsibility to her husband, her duty towards her family and the security of her future to promote her own career. When she sees her mistake, she tries to make amends. But, is it too late?

Note that comments are more than welcome. You can comment on this story or send me an email via the link below.)

JENNIFER's SIDE – Cont'd

"Arthur, just because Jennifer forgot to mention her promotion to you, does not mean you should divorce her! Arthur, she LOVES you!!" My father was almost in tears. I had never seen my father in tears except when he lost, or was about to lose, his loved ones.

"Do not do this son, it's a genuine mistake on her part. One she regrets. She will never, ever do this mistake again. Son, she's paid enough. She was crying all night son. Please..." my father went off again. I never heard my father saying "please" to anyone other than out of politeness. I have never seen my proud father so defeated.

After yesterday night when Arthur, my husband of 15 years, told me he was divorcing me, the ground swallowed me up. I could not think. Could not walk. Could not breathe. Oh God! What was happening? Am I going to pay this heavy a price for not thinking about my husband?

I cried for 2 hours after Arthur abruptly left. Between the heaving, racking sobs, I tried as best as I could to call him from my cell, with my shaking hands. Twenty one, I called him twenty one times, and he never responded. My crying intensified.

Then, at night around 11:30 pm, after I had managed to calm down enough to stop crying for a while, I called my parents.

I tearfully explained to them the situation. Told them he, my husband, had slipped from my mind. Instead of telling him first, I told him last of my promotion to Vice Presidency. That too, late evening around 7:30 pm. That too, when my father asked innocently about whether he knew it or not, else I would *still* not have called him.

I prayed to God that night on the suggestion of my parents. It was a long time since I had done that. I did not eat dinner that night.

At 4:00 am in the morning, the phone rang. It was my father.

"He's coming home honey." My father said simply. "I have convinced him to come to our home. He does not yet want to get into your own home, but he's ready to meet you, me and Ma here. Come soon in the morning." And my heart soared. My God Arthur! Such a big punishment for so small a thing?

And I did not wait for morning. I dashed off, took a shower, put on a skirt and blouse that Arthur always liked, just a dash of lipstick and I was speeding on my way to my parent's house. Before I asked or understood why Arthur took so much offense at my neglecting to tell him of my promotion, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. I wanted to bring him home to me.

However, a deep instinct inside me told me this would not be over yet. And that I had just scratched the surface. And I kept replaying that conversation I had with Arthur. Just WHAT did he mean by saying he was finishing today what he started off 15 years ago? What did he start? What did he finish? And what did he mean when he said I gave my everything to my career? He made is sound so... wrong! Could it be that he suspected me to... well, grant someone private favors to climb up?

And I pressed the accelerator just that bit harder at that thought.

Now here we were, my father almost in tears. Asking Arthur to forgive a genuine mistake. My mistake of not telling him first. Trying to convince him that it did not imply a lack of love or respect. It was just that. A genuine, terrible mistake. Which I would never do again.

I looked at my father and back at Arthur and then back at my father as he pleaded his case. Ma was standing by my father's side. Her eyes were misted and she was twisting her apron. She did that when she was very scared. Our coffees cups lay untouched.

What was scaring me most then, was Arthur was unmoved in his decision on our feelings during the whole conversation. Normally, he and my father got along like a house on fire. If my father was a little upset, I'd bet that Arthur would leave no stone unturned to cheer him up. And yet today, he just kept on staring at my father. Just staring. Registering no emotion. And his eyes. Dear God in heaven! They were so sad. What was going on?

"Son," my mother said softly. "Son, please do not do this to our daughter. She is our life. She has nothing but love for you, son. She has loved you since high school. You are the only one she has loved." She continued, trying hard not to lose control and sob.

And when my mother said that. Specially the last sentence, my mind clicked. OH MY GOD! That is why he was so angry! That is why he wanted a divorce! THAT IS WHY HE SAID I HAD GIVEN MY EVERYTHING TO THE CAREER!! MY GOD! Arthur thought I had an affair with someone!!! He thinks I have SLEPT my way to the top! He thinks I am cheating!!"

"NO!" I screamed, instinctively to my thought. So hard, even Arthur snapped his head to look in my direction.

"Arthur, I never cheated on you. I love only you! My God, where did you get that idea? How could you even think of this? I have never done it. I know why you want that divorce now! You think I am sleeping my way to the top. Arthur, please. Know this, I love you. Only you. And I am where I am only through the sacrifices. Yours and mine. Ours. And our strength and love for each other. Arthur, I swear!!! I never even looked at anyone that way. Please! Arthur you HAVE to believe me! GODDD!!!" and I burst out crying. Blubbering, barely coherent words got through my mouth as I was crying. Loud. Hard. The past hours grief washing over me. Taking over me like a tide.

I could vaguely feel my mother rushing to my aid as I slid down the chair crying. "I belong only to you. I love you. I am only yours. Only yours. Nobody else' I never cheated. I am only yours." I kept on repeating. Again and again.

I tried to focus on Arthur through the mist of my tears and the pain in my heart. Why did he think this way? I had never given him an opportunity to think this way. I loved only him. Did someone fill his mind with this venom? Did he mistake some action of mine as indicative of me cheating on him? Had he overheard part of some conversation, implying from those fragmented sentences that I did not love him? What?

"Arthur, please.ee.ee.... I LOVE YOU!" I screamed, as if screaming would make the truth stand out more boldly.

I was in tears and heaving between breaths, alternating between telling Arthur how much I loved only him and never cheated on him, to how much me meant to me, when he sighed and walked to me. He took my face in his hands, and brought his lips to mine. My eyes flew open at what he was doing. Our lips met. Lightly. It felt like a scrape of cold steel against marble. It was devoid of all warmth or life. I was shocked as I had never felt any other way, but good, whenever Arthur kissed me. He shook his head from side to side, as if I were unable to grasp what he was getting at, then he looked at me with those sad eyes, and walked towards the main door.

He opened it, paused as if he were considering something. Then turned to us and spoke.

"Mother, father, I am not angry that Jennifer told me last. It is natural. This position was what she worked for 18 years for. Sacrificed so much for. Wept so much for. So when she got it, she naturally was not in a frame of mind to go about this logically. She just followed her heart. That does not mean at all that she does not love me or does not respect me."

I stared at him. What was he talking? I glanced a look at my father and mother. They were following Arthur's words slack jawed. Confused, not comprehending what Arthur was telling him. After all this time, they had thought the reason Arthur wanted a divorce was because I told him the last.

And as if in answer to that question, Arthur replied, "Do you consider me so petty a man that I would divorce my wife over her just genuinely forgetting to tell me of the promotion? In fact, I do not even give this thought the significance that you think it deserves."

I started to speak, but he held up a hand. He had done that only twice in our entire 18 years.

"And I have always trusted my wife. What she is, where she is today, is only, and only, because of her hard work. Her dedication. Her ethics and morals. She has given her blood and tears for it. Made supreme sacrifices for her career. Such a woman would not, cannot cheat." He continued. And I got more confused. Is THAT also not what he was angry for? I thought he was angry because I told him last, or that he thought I was cheating. My God! Arthur, what is happening?

"I know Jennifer loves me. And would never cheat on me. Ever." He replied sadly. "And that's what makes this harder."

"Then... then... WHY?" I blurted out. "Why Arthur, why? Oh GOD! WHY? Where have I gone wrong? Is there something I did or said that I shouldn't have? Arthur, I am sorry. Whatever it was honey, I am sorry. I don't know it, and I don't want to know it. If it hurt you I am sorry. Please..." I cried.

Then he smiled at me. Oh my God! It was the SADDEST thing I had ever seen in my life. His smile... it was sadder than his eyes.

"If you cannot feel that, then I don't think explaining will help. You must feel, not understand. Jennifer, I had hoped you *would* feel. After 15 years, after sharing our souls and bodies together you should feel. I That is why I came here. You never felt it Jennifer, did you?"

"And no. I do not have an affair myself. Nor am I stricken with any diseases that will eventually take my life." He added.

He took a deep sigh, then walked out of our house. Leaving my parents crying, and the second time the world collapsed on my head.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Spit it out Jenny!"

My father was very angry.

"I know that man. He would never do something this bad until you did something stupid. And I want to know what it is!" my father pressed on, forcefully.

I looked bewildered. I did not know what to speak. Here was my husband of 15 years, walking out on me, and my family talks to me as if I were the cause of that?

"I don't know Dada." I said. "And if I have done something without realizing how it affects Arthur, I am still ready to apologize. But I do not know what I have done that Arthur is so mad at me to divorce me." I added firmly, my liner still running as my tears were now beginning to dry.

That seemed to take out the sails from my father's bluster. He too was going through mixed feelings right now. Mother recognized that instantly and took his hand.

"Honey, this is not the time for a postmortem. We need to get back our daughter's life back on track. Then we can see where we went wrong. Why don't you take your usual walk?" As she said this, she firmly took my father's hand and led him out of the living room. Her eyes asked me to wait till she returned from the door.

When she did, she was a mother protecting her brood.

"Honey, no matter what. You have to go after Arthur and get him back. Do not, I repeat, do not leave him alone! You don't know what he will do! Run after him!" she added forcefully.

"I would suggest you call him up immediately and talk to him personally. Ask him to meet you. No matter how many times he declines, don't give up. Be persistent. But don't allow this to happen. Talk, run, beg or plead, fight, but get Arthur to talk back and meet him. Go right now! Go sweetie!" She said with stern conviction and went back to check whether Dada had returned.

It was already 11:00 am and I was devastated. I went up to my room. I had already decided that I would change, then call Arthur. If he did not answer, then I would go to all his and our mutual friends and find out where he was. If nothing, I'd call 911 and report him missing! He would be angry, but at least I would know where he is and I could go and get him. Get my Arthur and resolve this horrible mess.

I massaged my neck and decided to call Arthur. I decided to call him from my mobile that I had place on the table when I entered the house earlier today in the morning. That is when I saw my mobile blinking. I realized that since last night after Arthur had dropped the bombshell on me, I had not looked at my mobile at all. The light shone briefly, as I had it on silent and no vibrating. I rushed to it, thinking it could be Arthur. When I reached the desk, it had stopped blinking. But when I picked it up I saw it was from my bank. There were 14 missed calls and 20 messages!

Dear God! Another problem!! The events of the last night were so hard on me, so consuming, I had almost forgotten that I had an international department to run. I could understand my personal life and Arthur were important to me. But I could not let innocents suffer because of my personal strife. My nonaction would cause the bank I worked for to suffer, which I did not want.

So, the next 3 hours were spent in discussing, resolving and negotiating from home. In this time, I had stopped from being an about-to-be-divorced housewife, to a Vice President, who had international commitments. My head was clear, tears dried down and frankly, it was as if the events had never happened.

It was tough. Sitting at home without a laptop and your documents, it difficult to do the deals. But I was tough. I had lots of training. I made lots of sacrifices to gain knowledge. If there was anyone, only I could do it. After all if I did not do it, who would? It was my responsibility. It was my...

My mind stopped its thought process when I saw my mother standing, with a sad look on her face. I looked up and saw behind her, my father had not yet come from his walk"

"What happened Ma?" I asked her, worried, seeing that sad look on her face. "Is Dada ok? What is it?" As I asked her, I saw her expression getting sadder and sadder.

"Ma?" I screamed, more a pleading than an outburst. "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that? WHAT HAPPENED?"

I could barely make out the words as her sobbing started. "I can see why he is divorcing you Jenny." And she walked away, leaving me stunned. My mouth hung open when the realization hit. The force of that realization took the wind out of my sails. It was as if someone had just poured ice-cold water over my head! Just what in the hell was I doing? My 15 years of marriage was on line and I was fucking cutting international deals? My reconciliation meeting was a failure and I was talking two continents apart on the new schedules and figures? Dear God! Is THIS what Arthur had been talking about "feeling"? Was I *so* immersed in my job, that EVERYTHING had become secondary? Everything? Had I become so insensitive? Was I behaving like a wife whose husband just walked out on her?

And precisely that moment, I *FELT* what Arthur meant when he said you never felt it.

At the same time, I was confused. Mixed up emotions ran through me. How DARE he divorce me just like that, just who did he think he was? But why did I not pay attention to him? Why did I focus so excessively on the job? Was he jealous of my position? But he was never that type. Was that a result of the primitive male ego who could not handle a woman's success? But his business made more money that I ever could! But at the same time, was a woman not entitled to success? What happened to those women whose husbands were so successful, they hardly had time to come home? Was that not sacrifice on the woman's part? Why can a man not take this when roles are reversed and so on. So many confusing thoughts. Each thought was replaced by a counter-thought which itself was replaced by others. I could not believe it. I was out of control!!

I decided it was time to admit I was way in over my head on this one. I could not trust myself or anything I did. It was time to take advice from a more experienced person. Somebody who would put a proper perspective to all this. Someone who would understand what I was going though, because he had seen and dealt with this for almost a lifetime now.

So I called up Edwards Sterling III. Told him my story. And he agreed to meet me when I wanted to. And yes, I could come today itself.

I went to my mother downstairs. She was cooking silently. Dada had also come in by now. He was moping around the kitchen table, as usual. I took a deep breath and said "Guys, I am going out."

My mother almost instantaneously asked me "Where to? Another deal to complete?" I could easily recognize the sarcasm in the voice. I could, also, as easily, recognize the concern for me and my future.

"To put things right." I said steadily.

"And how do you propose to do that? You know Arthur. Once he's decided on something, he'll stay put." Added my father sadly. He had lost much of his temper and was looking pretty deflated.

"I don't know. But first, I have got to put things right with myself." I said.

Kissing them, I walked out of the door. I was sure I heard my father say "God be kind to my Jenny." as I closed the door and walked to my car. I started the car and went off in the direction of my office.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The first five minutes were total silence.

If you think that five minutes of silence is nothing, you should experience it when you are on the receiving end.

That day, I was sitting opposite Edwards Sterling III. It had been around 45 minutes since I was with him. I had already explained my predicament to him again, in person. I told him how much I love Arthur. And how much I love the job. And leaving one thing for the other would be a compromise that I could never accept. Yet, at the same time, divorce would kill me. Seriously, if Arthur divorced me, I would commit suicide. He was MY Arthur. I had cried at least twice and Edwards face did not register any emotion yet.

I also spoke to him about my feelings. Mixed up, unable to decide what is right and wrong. Incapable of deciding in my personal life with the same ease that I closed multi-million dollar deals with. I also asked him several questions. Why did Arthur do this? Was he insecure? Was I really that focused? Did Edwards think I never spent enough time with my husband? What should I do? Will he really divorce me? Why does he want all that attention? Is that not the male ego? Is a woman's place really in the kitchen? Did he grudge me my success? Why do I feel so afraid of losing him? Should I leave my job? Will he come back to me then?

The five minutes of silence were after I had asked all the questions. After making me feel awkward for a long time, Edwards finally spoke.

"Jennifer, I cannot answer your questions for you. I am sorry. Only you can answer them." He said, matter-of-factly.

I was crestfallen. Here I was hoping that his maturity and perspective could guide me on this journey. Show me some light where I had previously been groping in the dark. And now he was telling me that he could not answer any of my questions?

"But I can show you a view about yourself that you have never seen. I hope that view will attempt to answer some your questions." He added.

My hopes rushed to the top again. God please! If there was one chance in a million that his statements answered some of my questions, showed me the path, got my Arthur again, I would be eternally indebted to him. I was nodding my head sharply in affirmative.

He began.

"How long have you been married to Arthur?" he asked.

"15 years." I replied. "Well, actually 14, but we moved around I was only 17. But I consider that as if I were already married to him. Well, actually if you guess, it would be when I was 18-ish or so." I replied.