Some important background:
M = Him, A = Her. Your average Mid-30s couple.
We've had good sexual chemistry for whole relationship. One of the first gifts M ever gave A was a dimmer switch for the Jackhammer to give her more control and that set the tone. We were long distance for a lot of the first year, which really helped our communication. That time also brought us the first sex toy we bought together, a WeVibe so we could play together even while long distance.
Moving in together upped the frequency but sex remained largely vanilla. Missionary and Cowgirl 90% of the time. M would have liked to advance the kink but didn't think A was ready and thus he compartmentalized his kinky self.
Years go by and sex becomes less frequent. More repetitive, less experimental, and the fun to chore ratio becoming dangerously close, especially compared to just servicing oneself. M was determined to right the ship:
Christmas 2022 - β¨M gave A a Christmas present that included a Aneros Helix butt plug for him, a set of jeweled steel butt plug for her, and a rideable dildo head for the Jackhammer. M was nervous but was pleasantly surprised by how much A appreciated and wanted to try it all out.
This prompted a step change where M&A doubled to tripled the sex per week vs status quo. M put much more of an emphasis on going down on A, which was often times reciprocated. A was vocal about making Sexy Christmas a part of the rotation from here out.
A's Birthday 2023 - β¨M bought a pair of 7" pleaser ankle boots for A. Initially a bit surprised, A has worn on a few occasions for M.
On many date nights both M&A wear their butt plugs. A has bought and wears several pieces of sexy lingerie including some crotchless panties and boy shorts, stockings/fishnets, and more. M brings her vibrator into the shower more often. A has shared more about his love of ass play and M has fingered his ass on a few occasions.
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Introducing the Game:
M was often the partner pushing the boundaries and was struggling to get it right sometimes. M had a lot of ideas but struggled to move the ball forward in any consistent way. Sometimes M would push too much too fast and "overstimulate" A or misread her horniness. Other times, M would hold back too much, afraid to share himself and M&A went right back to vanilla. M&A were experimenting but needed a better framework around it make both more comfortable for sharing and receiving ideas.
One one particular date night, M tried to do a few too many ideas at once and would have been more successful with one direction only. The night after date night, M proposed "The Suggestion Game". This game involved both M&A writing 10 date night / kinky suggestions each in sealed envelopes and using the weekly roll of a dice to provide a random suggestion.
A was initially skeptical but listened to it all and was willing to try, but had reservations. A tried to address the concerns without pressuring and let the idea percolate. One of the core oppositions was that it would schedule out sex too much. M tried to highlight that this was in addition to anything else spontaneous and this was just a way to introduce new and rare things into our play.
The idea of a game started to intrigue A the more we talked as we are both gamers. During the next date night, M presented the following rules to A.
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The Suggestion Game
1. No judgements - this is a safe space, have fun!