There are lots of different types of blackmail. If you cheat on your spouse and someone finds out they might threaten to tell your spouse unless you pay them off or do something that is valuable to them. Or, someone might know that you committed a crime -- whether big or small -- and demand money not to tell the authorities. In a broader sense blackmail is making a threat to do or say something unless the victim agrees to do something for the threat maker. I was aware of classic types of blackmail but not "emotional blackmail."
I came to learn that "emotional blackmail" is a dysfunctional form of manipulation where the blackmailer uses a victim's feelings to control the victim's behavior for the blackmailer's self-interest. How did I, Blake Burns, come to know this? I became a "victim."
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My older brother Kevin is someone who I respected more than anyone else in the world. My father died when he was twelve and my sister and I were nine and six, respectively. My mother was a basket case for a long time. Kevin took it upon himself to assume an adult role and essentially raised my sister and I by himself for a year while my mother tried to regain traction. Even after she did return to relative normal she still relied heavily on Kevin for many things.
Because of sacrifices for his family Kevin never did have a normal teenage life -- the responsibilities he assumed were too great. Looking back on it in retrospect all of my sister, mother, and I took advantage of Kevin's caring nature to his detriment. He wasn't able to realize some of his dreams because we were so dependent upon his physical, emotional, and ultimately even financial stability.
As one of many examples of Kevin's sacrifices for his family because of his keen interest in math and technology he had always dreamed of going to MIT. Because of our dependence upon him despite the fact that he was smart enough to get accepted to MIT he instead went to the local community college and aced every decent math or technology course that they had, and then commuted to a local university that was rated the 185th best national university in the US (MIT is ranked 2nd in the same survey).
As another example, at 12 years old Kevin was the star of the baseball league in our town. In addition to being good at baseball Kevin loved it. After our father's death he never played organized baseball again because of his responsibilities to his family.
Things were not good economically for us either. My mother got attorneys on a contingency fee basis to handle a lawsuit relating to my father's death but it was a long and drawn out process lasting years -- long enough to ruin Kevin's teenage years.
While in the college that I wanted most to attend -- made possible economically in large part by Kevin's hard work after he graduated and loans that I got because of my family's economic circumstances -- between my 18th and 19th birthdays I finally started to realize how much Kevin had done for our family and felt embarrassed that I had relied upon him so much growing up and how I never would have been able to sacrifice my life for him like he did for us.
Then something good happened to Kevin when I was 20; initially I considered it karma because karma is the natural law of cause and effect that whatever energy you put into something you get back, good or bad. Put another way, if you do good, that good will be repaid somewhere down the line even if in a different form.
What I thought was karma was that Kevin fell in love. He was truly happy and doing things for himself at last since my sister, mother, and I were now in good places. We all rejoiced in his happiness.
While I was a little skeptical about Julie Wiggins, the woman that he fell in love with, because she seemed to be a little too artsy and flaky, there was no way that I would rain on Kevin's parade by calling attention to my skepticism; I was just glad that he was finally blissful.
Julie Wiggins was the same age as Kevin -- six years older than I am -- and even though he didn't meet her at the University he graduated from she had a degree in art from that same school. I wouldn't call Julie beautiful -- few people would -- but most males would consider her "alluring," and some would find her "sultry as hell." She had an aura about her that was both mysterious and enticing -- that's about the limit of my vocabulary to describe her. On a number of occasions Kevin told me that he considered her out of his league as far as looks were concerned although I always demurred that that was not the case.
I was a groomsman at the Kevin-Julie nuptials. Another good thing had happened to my family shortly before that; 13 years of protracted and painful litigation relating to my father's death was finally concluded and my mother's payout was very substantial. She easily could afford to pay for the wedding (Julie's parents weren't well off) and pay off the loans that my sister and I had taken out during college.
The wedding was a good time; especially since one of the single bridesmaids named Nicole -- a good friend of Julie's -- and I hit it off. Even though Nicole was six years older than I am we enjoyed as good a one-night stand as any guy has a right to dream about, let alone have. The only downer, after a night where I seemingly sucked more tit than I did while I was a nursing baby and made a record three bareback seminal deposits in an exceedingly snug and active pussy, was what Nicole said at breakfast the next morning.
"I was kind of surprised that your conscientious straight arrow brother married someone as wild and flaky as Julie. As much as I love her she might end up driving him nuts."
If at the time I hadn't had a sexual hangover where endorphins were still rampaging through my brain and my dick was still trying to salute I would have examined Nicole about that statement. However since I did have a sexual hangover I didn't follow up on it. I only really remembered it much later.
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I had more than my share of pussy in college and afterwards. I do well probably because I am big (in several ways), athletic (although Kevin had to give up his dream of baseball he made sure that I played three different sports in leagues), and in good shape (11% body fat), and am always polite, a good listener, and never say anything bad about others. However, I had a hard time warming up to Julie.
During every interaction I had with Julie and Kevin it seemed that she had complete control of his heart and mind, and I thought that he was too deferential to her. I also didn't think that I was being unnecessarily paranoid in thinking that she was more flirtatious toward me than was appropriate.
I never said anything to Kevin about my feelings; he was finally happy and free after a life of servitude to his family, and there was no way that I was destroying his happiness.
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After working for a year as an engineer I decided to go to graduate school. The school that I wanted to attend was in the same city that Kevin and Julie lived. Although I was debt-free and had some saved money I wasn't rolling in bucks and graduate school was expensive even with my partial scholarship. When Kevin found out what I was planning without prompting he invited me to live with him and Julie for the roughly 18 months that it would take me to get my degree.
I was reluctant to accept Kevin's offer until he put Julie on the phone and she made a clearly sincere effort to get me to accept. I was surprised by that; while I never had any clash with Julie since I was a little standoffish with her I didn't think that she would want me living with them. They did have a four bedroom house so they surely had enough space, and their house was only about four miles from campus so I accepted as long as they let me do chores and contribute to food and utilities.
Our living arrangements worked surprisingly well for the first five months or so. I mowed the lawn, did other yard work, and made dinner at least two nights a week, and often four. I made sure that I never interfered with Kevin's and Julie's time together, and especially made sure that I was out of the house Friday and Saturday nights.
