#1
Jan
This is very difficult for me to do, but a friend suggested that writing down my experiences would help me. And it seems to have helped me quite a bit.
I was raised by very strict parents on a small farm with small town ideas. Church on Sunday and I was not allowed boyfriends. "You must save yourself for your husband," was my Mother's mantra every day and twice on Sundays. At nineteen I married a preacher from the next town who was twenty years older and even more religious than my family. I guess it could be considered an arranged marriage because I was firmly pushed into the arrangement by my Mother. My Father was not pleased but she ran the place. There was no love involved on my part and obviously none on his part.
Henry was a good man in the eyes of the community, but boring. Sex was once in a while, always on Saturday night and was done in the dark and when I tried to hold him or kiss him, he would let me give him a kiss on the cheek...that's it. I once walked into the bedroom naked from a shower and he admonished me by saying, "Cover thyself woman, in my house." I was not allowed to wear make-up and always had to wear respectable clothing.
Then after eight years Henry was gone. He was walking across Main street and a logging truck, fully loaded hit him, killed him without even slowing down. Four weeks later I moved to the city and found a job doing accounts at a fair-sized business. I was very torn about leaving all I had become accustomed to. Later on, I learned there were some psychological damage done. In my mind, sex was a duty to be done by a wife. There had been no romance or joy in my life.
Almost immediately I met Bob, he was an accountant with the firm and my boss. He was a tall handsome man in his late thirties, with short blonde hair. He was very kind and helpful to me. I guess I probably developed a crush on him fairly early on. I could see he was interested in me but he never acted on this.
The other person who influenced my life remarkedly was, Linda. She was my "cell mate" as she called it. We were in adjoining cubicles. She is very beautiful with short blonde hair, a nicely developed slim body that she was not hesitant to display. Just about as opposite to me as can be. And she was forever trying to set me up with some guy. We became fast friends. She taught me how to apply make-up and kept trying to get me to wear "less frumpy" clothes, as she called them, and to "stand up straight". I resisted because I had rather large breasts.
About four months later I came to work one day to learn that Bob was leaving for another company. It dawned on me suddenly, I had strong feelings for Bob. But he had never asked me out or made the smallest advance. I looked over the partition and said to Linda, 'I...I...err. I kind of like him...you know...like.'
'I know Jan,' she whispered. 'Why don't you run into his office and rip your blouse off. Show him those big tits you've been hiding.'
'Oh Linda,' I uttered with tears developing in my eyes. She came running around to my cubicle took me in her arms.
'Oh, Jesus honey, I'm sorry...so sorry. I didn't know. God I'm such a dummy.' She stroked my hair comforting me. There was a discrete cough behind us and Bob stood there with a frown on his face.
'Are you alright Janice?' he asked quietly.
'Yes sir,' I replied trying to smile.
'Janice,' he began. 'Now that I'm no longer your boss...I...err. I wonder if you would like to go out for dinner with me. I...err...I couldn't ask before.' He continued looking down at his shoes. 'Being your boss.'
Linda walked behind Bob and as she passed, she grinned like a fool and gave me two thumbs up. I nodded like a simpleton. 'Yes...sure. I guess, sir'
'I think you can call me Bob. I mean now that...'
'Call me Jan, please.'
'Jan, OK.' He said shyly as he walked away.
Linda's head shot up over the partition, again with two thumbs up. 'Now I'll have to get you some more...stylish clothes Jan.'
'No, you wont. He asked me out because of who I am. Not what you want me to be.' I said firmly.
'Of course, dear,' Linda agreed quickly, still happily smiling like a fool.
Three months later Bob and I were married.
The wedding went beautifully. However, the wedding night, to be kind, was a bit of a disaster. By then I knew I had found true love in Bob. Something I never experienced before. My previous involvement with sex had been an abysmal failure. Bob was very attentive on our honeymoon and when we got to our hotel, he wanted to disrobe me and I froze. After a lot of tears, mostly on my part, we did have sex. But it was in the dark and in a missionary position.
I had developed a close friendship with Linda and her husband, Andy. He was a very good-looking guy who always treated me kindly, always greeted me with a hug and light kiss on my cheek. They were also long-time friends with Bob, so we got together frequently. Linda was like a sister to me and I was in the habit of confiding in her. At work one day, soon after I was married, we went for lunch in the park and I began telling her about my problem with my sex life.
'Promise you won't speak of this to another person. Including Andy.'
'Yes. Of course.' She swore.
'Well...err...You see...Bob,' I paused feeling a blush rise up my face. 'Bob...well...Bob wants sex all the time.' I blurted, 'and he wants to do other things. Well you know...with the lights on...he wants to kiss me down there and...and he wants me to wear fancy frilly undies...and take my clothes while he watches...and...well other things.' I finally ran down and started crying softly.
'Oh honey,' Linda put her arm around my shoulders comforting me quietly. 'Don't cry dear. That's what all men want. We can fix this, don't cry.'
We sat for a while and when I had settled down and dried my tears, she continued. 'You remember Mary? You know Stick, her nick-name. The tall girl.' I nodded remembering the beautiful woman who I had met at Linda's home.
'Yes. I remember her. I liked her.'
'Good. Her and Jim will be staying at our place for two weeks starting tomorrow. She's an expert at solving these kinds of problems. Why don't we speak to her, I know she will fix this for you? She helped Andy and I when we had problems. OK?'
'You and Andy had problems?'
'Yep. Big time. She fixed us up.'
'OK,' I hesitantly agreed. I loved my husband and didn't want to lose him.
***
Two days later Mary or Stick (as she was called) and I sat in Linda's living room talking about my problems. She listened to my story without interruption and suggested that I could probably use some professional counselling. She was a tall woman with short black hair and a beautiful face. She wore a short black skirt and a long-sleeved taupe silk top with three buttons undone showing quite a bit of cleavage. Her lovely long legs curled up as she sat back in a comfortable easy chair with a large notebook scribbling as we talked.
