A word from Saxon Hart:
Just a quick note for those who have read this one before. First; I have included the original ending after the story, no need to e-mail me for it. Second; While it was originally edited, I have gone through it and tightened it up. I saw many things that were missed in the original edit and I cleaned those up, as well as doing a few changes to improve the flow. I hope you enjoy this.....
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Author's note. First I am going to answer a question that may come up as you read this. The answer is yes I know the difference between Burt Young, the actor; and Neil young, the rocker. Burt makes a funnier looking lawyer I think so I went that way. SH
"One more outburst from you, Mr. Ericson, and I will hold you in contempt of court!" The judge's face turned a bright shade of red and I had to stifle a chuckle at her almost comic expression. "Mr. Young, I strongly advise that you get a rein on your client."
I had been warned a few times already, but it's hard not to say "fuck" when "fuck" is a staple of your vocabulary and you're dealing with fucktards like the judge. I once had a guy tell me that he'd never met anyone who said "fuck" more than I do. Maybe I do say it a lot. I have to admit it just flows without thought.
Just as I started to speak I saw the judge tense up and Burt Young, my attorney and soon to be partner in the law firm where he worked, warned me to not speak so openly towards the judge, unless I wanted to spend a night in jail. The court recorder stifled a giggle as I am sure they were bracing themselves for the torrent of f-bombs that were likely to fly from my mouth
On the other side of the court room my ex best friend, his wife, and my soon to be ex-wife sat nervously looking around the room. Robin, my soon to be ex, looked shamed and downtrodden. Bruce sat there with defeat on his face and Cheryl; his wife sat looking pissed off. She obviously didn't like all of their dirty laundry being aired in court.
So by now you might be wondering about the events that led up to me being admonished by the simpleton fuck in the black robe about my conduct in her sham er, I mean court room. It all started one day, we'll call it Tuesday, because it was a Tuesday.
My name is Jack Ericson. I am a 32 year old foreman in the city maintenance department for the city of Stonemoore, Colorado. I started with the city two days after I graduated high school. In winter I plow the major thoroughfares, in summer I do whatever needs to be done. Robin works a few hours a week at the church as a break from her housework.
Our city maintenance department is split into four quadrants. Each quadrant has its own supervisor, and a foreman. I am not that supervisor. I never went to college, and use common sense so I could never get the position. Also I avoid having anyone's dick near my mouth; another disqualifier. Usually if a supervisor tells a crew to do something, they will ask someone like me before they waste their time. All of the foremen were promoted into their jobs while supervisors were directly hired.
Monday evening had brought one of those nasty ass June thunderstorms that produced a lot of high wind and hail. My quadrant got hit the hardest with the wind and hail so we had a lot of tree limbs and other debris to clear out of streets. I had six crews going around with dump trucks picking up that stuff.
I drove around in a pickup with a list of street flooding complaints. I'd check each complaint area to see if storm drains were blocked with debris. If they were I'd call out one of the two vacuum trucks I had at my disposal.
I also had four street sweepers running all day long. In the afternoon I surveyed problem alleys to see if we'd have to bring in gravel soon for them. None of my three parks got mowed; I'd have to get crews on that in the morning.
My wife Robin and I had a nice four bedroom two story home in an older neighborhood. We couldn't afford to live with the rich folk on the southwest side of town, but we didn't live in the east side gangland either.
We got along fabulously with our neighbors. Tom and Jeri McBain lived next door, Ron and Cindy Wood lived directly behind Robin and I, and my childhood friend Bruce Harris lived behind the McBain's with his wife Cheryl. All four households got along so well that we had no fences separating our back yards.
Bruce and I have been friends since we were in middle school. I got him in more trouble than he knew how to get out of and to make matters worse, his parents were extra religious while mine gave less than a fuck about "What God said." Dad often told me as long as I didn't knock some girl up or cost him a bunch of money he really didn't give a fuck what I did.
Most of the time if Bruce's mom and dad were going to nail him for something I'd tell them I did it and he was mistakenly blamed. I know they hated me so their opinion of me didn't really matter.
Bruce grew up to be as religious as his parents, if not worse. He went to a bible college and became a preacher. He is the pastor at one of the local churches. I don't go to church except for Easter and Christmas. Robin, on the other hand, goes to church religiously, pardon the pun.
While Bruce was at Bible College he met Cheryl. Cheryl could have been a Playboy playmate. Cheryl is 5'7" 110 pounds, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had 36D-24-34 figure. With all of that going on she is a prayer machine. Bruce is like the yin to my yang, but there isn't a damned thing I wouldn't do for him. Or so I thought.
I got home on Tuesday evening to find that I had to warm up leftover meatloaf from Sunday for dinner. I really didn't mind doing that, but my wife hadn't actually cooked a weekday meal in a few months.
I wanted to sit and put away a twelve pack, but the red dot on the calendar for that day told me I could have one beer with dinner and no more the rest of the night. Red dot days were the days I was on emergency stand by and could get called out at moment's notice to handle some issue.
I ate my dinner while Robin showered. I wished she'd spend as much time paying attention to my cock as she did in the damn shower. It was 7:00PM and I wasn't sure if I'd see her again that evening. I got a half assed "How was your day?" when I got home and that was about it.
This bullshit had been going on now for a couple of months and I was getting a bit tired of it. The worst part was our sex life. We used to get it on three maybe four times a week. In the past three months I had gotten Saturday night sex twice, missionary only, and two weak half assed tug jobs. She didn't even seem to notice me anymore, and that night was no exception, so I watched the Rockies play the Padres on TV and wished I could get my Jägermeisteron.
Around 10:00 I was contemplating going to bed when my phone rang. I figured it would be Bruce bitching about the Rockies' bats failing miserably that night, or asking me to have my guys do something around his church, but it was the city/county dispatch calling to tell me of a water main break on the north side of town near the Birchwood Mall.
I packed a few snacks in my lunch cooler, and headed out the door. I almost went upstairs and told Robin what was going on but decided "
Fuck her
!" She didn't seem to give a shit anyway, so let the cunt figure out on her own that I wasn't coming to bed.
I got to the city yard and got the keys I needed. While I was waiting for my crew, which would be made up of guys from every quad that night, plus a supervisor from the city water department, and four of their guys, I hooked a trailer up to the new Kenworth dump truck and loaded a Caterpillar backhoe on it.
By time I was done loading that my crew was there and we all headed for the place where we figured the break was. When we got there it was obvious that the North West crews hadn't gotten to the storm sewers here because the street was flooded. I sent a couple of guys back to get a vacuum truck.
It was 1:00 in the morning before I pierced the pavement with the backhoe. With all of the water still on the street it was slow going. By 3:00 we had the pipe exposed and began hauling away the mud I had dug out of the hole. We would have fresh dry sand and gravel from the city gravel pit to fill the hole back in.
At 8:45AM the water guys had finally reconnected the pipe and tested their join. The building inspector Ok'd the fix around 9:30 and by noon we were ready to re pave the area. Since the paving would be handled by a separate contractor I was able to get the equipment back to the yard by 1:00.
At 1:45 I was pulling into my driveway with the knowledge that I was off work until Friday now. I unlocked the door and went inside. Robin didn't appear to be home. She was off doing whatever the fuck it was that she did all damn day, which lately didn't seem to include housework.
I went into the kitchen to grab a beer and a sandwich. I had just closed the fridge when I heard the unmistakable sound of a woman getting the fucking of her life. I seemed to be coming from upstairs. I listened for a moment and was pretty sure the sound was from upstairs.
"No wonder you don't fuck me anymore you filthy whore," I said to myself as I headed out of the kitchen. I opened the coat closet and pulled my Kimber Custom Crimson 45 from its hiding place and made my way up the stairs.
The sound was louder upstairs. I could see the door to the master bedroom was ajar so I walked stealthily up to it. I jumped through the door and leveled the pistol at the bed. No one was there. I quickly checked the bathroom just off of the bedroom and it too was deserted.
Back in the hall I was left with two choices. The guest bedroom door was closed. "At least she respected our marriage bed" I thought to myself. I opened the door and once again leveled the pistol at an empty room.
The only room I hadn't explored was Robin's craft room. I pictured her bent over her sewing table with a cock flying in and out of her cunt. I kicked the door open and jumped into the room ready to kill. The room was empty but the sound was loud in there. When I noticed the window overlooking the back yard was open, I looked out to see if she was fucking in the back yard. I saw that needed to mow my grass, but no one was in the yard. As I scanned the yards around my house I got the shock of my life. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?"
Tom and Jeri have a pool. I looked that way and saw Tommy and Brenda, the McBain children, fucking like rabbits on a chaise lounge by their pool. Tommy was a junior in college and Brenda was due to start her freshman year in the fall. She'd had a crush on me since she was twelve or so, and I absurdly wondered if she thought of me at that moment.
Neither one of them was anything to look at. Brenda did have a killer body though, and her bountiful jugs were wiggling wildly as Tommy pounded her. Then it struck me that I was witnessing incest. "I thought shit like this only happens in Mississippi and places like that." I said to myself.
I knew I shouldn't watch, but it was like a train wreck. I just couldn't look away. I wondered if Tom or Jeri had any clue this shit was going on in their home. I doubted it. They weren't as straight laced as Bruce and Cheryl but I doubt even the wildest people I knew would condone that.
"I bet they're watching us. Look at them Bren." said Tommy.
"Oh fuck that's so hot." said Brenda. She looked to her left and I followed her gaze. I could see Bruce's bare back in the upstairs window of his house. He was obviously fucking Cheryl. I thought I'd hang for a few minutes as that might have been the only chance I'd ever get to see Cheryl naked.
Then Bruce and his partner turned around. "MOTHER FUCK!!!!!" I yelled so loudly that the sex stopped in the yard below. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Bruce was fucking my Robin!!
I froze, not sure exactly what to do. I raised the pistol up and took aim at Bruce. Movement below caught my attention at the last second; it was Tommy and Brenda running stark ass naked for their house. I looked back up intending to send some lead Bruce's way, only to find that they had left the window.
"Motherfucking god damned filthy fucking whore!" I yelled as I went down the stairs. I stopped in my den long enough to grab my Mossberg Bull Pup and slam a hand full of 00 Buck shells into the mag. Bruce was going to die. The whore was going to die. Cheryl's fucking cat and parakeet were fair game as well,
I was going to kick his door in and lay waste to him and his whore. I tucked the pistol into the waist of my jeans and headed out of the door. I stopped about halfway down my driveway and just stood. I now understood a lot of things. I knew why my house wasn't clean. I knew why my meals came out of the freezer. I knew why my cock was neglected. I knew why the cunt took so many fucking showers that they were ready to name the city reservoir after me.
