Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above, but don't fence me in. My wife was singing that refrain, or a variation of it all afternoon. I wondered if she was trying to give me a subtle hint, so I asked.
"Not so subtle," she said. "I'm reading a book entitled OPEN MARRIAGE by the O'Neils. Interesting. You should read it. It talks about redrawing the lines of marriage fidelity," she said.
"Sounds like cheating," I said.
"Not cheating, opening," she said with a frown.
Being a obedient husband, I went on Libby, looked it up, and checked it out. It mentioned redrawing guidelines, redefining fidelity, and allowing for sexual freedom within marriage. I read a few chapters of OPEN MARRIAGE, then asked her if she was really considering opening things up.
"I am considering mentioning it," she replied. "It sounds reasonable, maybe worth thinking about. It suggests eliminating possessiveness, thinking in terms of unconditional love, and allowing sexual freedoms that monogamy forbids."
I listened, as a good husband would, then thought of reasons to debate each point. "So it explains how to avoid jealousy, insecurity, and resentment?" I asked.
"That would be up to the individuals to workout themselves," she explained.
"Of course," I said. "No easy way. So it sounds like there are risks," I said.
"There are risks to everything," she answered.
"True," I said. "But if you're driving too fast for the road, sometimes you have to slow down," I added, pleased at my analogy.
"Sometimes you have to speed up to get where you want to go on time," she said. "People may leave you behind."
"So you have to be careful," I said.
"Watch for hazards. All I am saying," she answered.
"So, you want to go down that road?" I asked, continuing the analogy.
"Thinking about it. Thought we might talk it out. I know a few people who have done it," she said.
"Oh, really? Who?" I asked.
"Helen and Carl George," she said, "for one. Sue and Dennis. Gail and Paul Carson."
"Sounds like you have looked into it," I said.
"Have," she said.
"And it works for all of them?"
"It seems to," she said. "They're all happy with it. Wouldn't bring them up if they weren't."
"Of course," I said. "So, what are the first steps we need to think about?"
"We need to talk about some rules, what we can't handle, if it is really what we want," she said. "Like that."
"And you think you do?" I said.
"I do, yes," she said, more confidently than I expected.
"So, you think you could handle me having sex with someone else?" I asked. "Some hot mama?"
"If it was just sex," she said.
"And you would know that how?" I said.
"Honesty," she said. "The whole thing is based on honesty. If you honestly want to stay married to me, you say it. Honestly. We have to trust one another. Do you love me enough to not hold me so tight?"
"Like a baby bird?" I said.
"Exactly," she said. "Too tight you kill it."
"Am I killing you?" I said.
"Only some times," she said with a grin.
"So, tell me," I said. "Any candidates? Anyone who might get a shot?" I asked with a smile.
"Jake," she said, without hesitating.
"The confirmed bachelor of the neighborhood?" I said. "You thinking of fucking him?"
"Only if things work out," she said. "If we decide to open things up."
"You're rooting for opening things up, right?" I said only partly sarcastic.
"I am willing to talk about it," she said. "I like what the book lays out. I think it has possibilities," she said. "It says to go slowly. It advises people think about what they think about sex, if it can be entertainment, if sex doesn't have to mean devotion, if you can separate it from love. I think sex can be fun without having to be exclusive. So, how do you feel?"
"I think it is a mine field," I said. "Like all dangerous things, it can be handled if you're careful. So, you can handle my fucking a hot chick I find captivating?"
She smiled, then said, "If I was fucking a hot hunk I found captivating. Tell me you don't ever have sexual fantasies about other women. Your time in the bathroom isn't always because you're reading, right?"
"I have had masturbatory fantasies over the years," I said being honest. "Yes, it is normal to fantasize. The question is whether to act on it. So, am I secure enough to handle you having sex with someone else? Don't know. Let me finish reading the book, talk with a few of those couples you mentioned, and think about it some. Then we'll talk and decide," I said. "It does sound exciting I admit, but then so is sky diving. Not sure I want to do that. We will see."
I sat for a few minutes thinking about it. "I have always felt sex is not the most important thing in a marriage, and I don't think just because you desire it with someone, or have done it, that it means you have violated your vows of devotion to your mate.
"So, what about you? You asked about possible candidates. Well, what about you?" she repeated. "Are there any possibles?" she asked.
"Well, just about anyone with a vagina," I said.
"No standards, huh?"
"I have standards," I said. "They're just pretty low. Present company excluded, of course," I said. "I have the best," I said, trying to make up for my gaff, "so... "
"Nice save," she said. "So, no one in particular?"
"That's it," I said. "The position is wide open. Jake for you, anyone with two X chromosomes for me." She laughed and I shrugged.