Dont Be Offended

A little something inspired by an email from a supporter. Although I didn't follow his suggestion, it did plant the seeds for this story. Thanks Shawn.

Please read my profile for my stance on comments. Feel free to email suggestions or to start a conversation. Private messages work too.

Mike Mainieri Jr; Carly Simon: "But how can anyone know what you are to me, that I'm in heaven again because you've come back to me."

+ + + +

Roxie and I aren't much different from the masses when it comes to our courtship and marriage. Met at a party, did the slow cautious first few dates. Found out we liked each other's company. Spent more time together. Crossed into lover's territory a few months in.

After we married, we lived in an apartment for two years, while our house war chest grew. We purchased our starter house, which needed lots of work. With some improvements, we now had sweat equity as it should appraise much better.

My job was stable and Roxie had found a position at the middle school, as an English teacher. Although Roxie doesn't seem to ever get sick, I think she must bring home the germs. In the last few months I've gotten the flu, a nasty cough, and today I'm headed to the doctor's office to have my raw throat looked at.

It was Monday and I decided to skip going back to work. My fifteen minute doctor's appointment was for one and it was now two thirty. For once, I'd beat Roxie home. Normally I don't get home until six so today I'd surprise her by having dinner started.

Turning my phone back on, I saw a text message from a number I didn't recognize 'Sorry Web. Please don't shoot the messenger.' There weren't any voicemails. Okay, they knew my name, but the message made no sense to me. Maybe they thought they'd found the right Web, and they hadn't.

Pulling into my garage I saw the hedge trimmers, which triggered a feeling of guilt for not having trimmed things like I'd promised to do last weekend. Such is life I guess. Try again next weekend? Hell, why not do a little trimming now? It's only three and Roxie won't be home for another ninety minutes.

Entering the house, I turned the television on, mostly for background noise. Bounding up the stairs, I was undressing with each step. By the time I reached my bedroom, I had my shirt in my hands. I heard a strange noise and paused. Must be something on the roof.

Grabbing my sweats, I changed in less than a minute. Peeling off the adhesive bandage, from the penicillin shot earlier, I decided to gargle. It had been years, more likely a decade, since I'd last had strep.

The television was on some talk show, which I could care less about. What did catch my attention was the teaser, for the upcoming newscast.

'Is your child's teacher on the registered sex offender's list? You'll be shocked at what our investigative reporters have uncovered.'

Holy shit! You have got to be kidding me. Gawd, Roxie has to see this. I hit the record button and went outside to work on the yard. That teaser really had me going. With all of the checks and balances, how does something like that get overlooked?

As I was gathering the debris, from my excellent trimmings, a news truck slowed to a crawl as it crept down the street in front of my house. They stopped and rolled down the window "Are you Web Lewis?"

"Who wants to know?"

A guy jumped out of the passenger side and hurried around the front of the truck.

"Jim Barnes. Channel Six News. Are you Web Lewis?"

"I am. What's going on?"

The driver, who turned out to be the cameraman, was scrambling to get his equipment working. Barnes was waiting impatiently for the go ahead.

"Got it" came from the cameraman, who was aiming his shoulder balanced gear at me.

Barnes got right to it "This is Jim Barnes reporting. I'm with Web Lewis, husband of Roxie Lewis. Sir, can you comment on how your wife is teaching, while being a registered sex offender?"

"What are you talking about? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. No way is Roxie a sex offender. Turn that camera off."

When both stood motionless, I picked up my rake and hedge trimmers. When my glare stare didn't faze them, I headed back into the garage. The two assholes followed close behind, but at least stayed outside as the garage door closed.

Roxie a sex offender? No way. Grabbing my cell phone, I saw that I had ten missed calls and six text messages. Two of the calls, and one text, were from Roxie. Her text simply read 'Call me. ASAP!'

Roxie picked up immediately and there was fear in her voice "Web! This is a nightmare! They think I'm a sex offender."

"Who thinks that?"

"The principal, the superintendent, and some guy from the district's legal department. I've been suspended, pending resolution. I'm shaking. This is some horrible mistake."

"Where are you now?"

"Sitting in my car. I'm too shook up to drive."

"Well, don't hurry home. Some news truck just pulled up in front of the house and asked about you being a sex offender."

"What are you doing home? Oh yeah, how'd the doctor go?"

"Strep. Got a shot and didn't feel like going back to work. I was trimming the hedge when the news truck pulled up. Let me look. Wow, there's three trucks out there now. They're milling around talking to each other. I wouldn't come home. Maybe you can sneak off to your folks."

Through the sobs "How can this be? This is nuts. I'll call you back."

I could tell that Roxie was rocked to the core, as well she should be. Somebody's head needs to roll for this fuck up. Grabbing a diet pop, I turned my attention to the television.

'This is Alena Wallace reporting from Happy Heights Middle School. We received a tip that two teachers at this school were on the registered sex offender's list. With some digging, we were able to confirm this horrible discovery. Cody Harper, a physical education teacher, and Roxie Lewis, an English teacher, are both listed on the state's sexual offender's list.'

The text I'd received earlier now made sense. I knew Alena when she was a Smith, not her screen name of Wallace. We dated and I once thought we might be headed for the altar. But, life pulled me in one direction, and she in another. We decided to part amicably, and then see what the future held.

Somewhere along the way, I met Roxie, and fell in love with her. Alena wasn't happy with me. Apparently I'm supposed to be a mind reader, from a thousand miles away. Lingering deep in her mind was the notion that we were going to get back together, after getting degrees and successful job searches. I replied to Alena's text message from earlier today. 'I understand Ms. Smith. Maybe we can all get together after this storm blows by.'

The television was showing pictures of the predators. I felt so bad for Roxie. It was amazing that such misinformation could propagate so fast? For just a split second, the thought that Roxie was guilty entered my mind. That thought was ambushed by my respect for Roxie. No way, not now, not before, not ever was she a sex offender.

Alena continued her narrative 'For the time being, both have been put on paid leave. This is Alena Wallace reporting.'

The full story, when the 5 Pm newscast started, also had a database expert. He droned on and on about why government databases are the easiest to hack into. Nice job guy. Let all the geeks know that government databases are the low hanging fruit for hackers.

I couldn't relax. My stomach was in knots. When my phone rang, I let the unknown number go to messages. Over the next twenty minutes, I did that three more times, before Roxie's number flashed.

"Hey babe, you on the road?"

"Yes and no. I'm being followed. I called my folks, and filled them in on this circus. Rather than try to shake whoever's following me, I'm going to drive over to dad's country club. With the security gates, the followers will be blocked. He keeps his street legal golf cart there. I'm going to put on a disguise and take the cart to his house."

"Great idea. The reporters must be breeding here as there's now about twenty people standing around outside. Every once in a while one will ring the bell. No way am I going to answer the door."

"This is bizarre. I hope they kill whoever did this to me."

"Not just you. One of the other teachers was named as well. Cody something or other. You know him?"

What struck me as odd was the lack of an immediate response.

"Yeah, he's a phys-ed teacher" came out somewhat slowly, again, odd.

"Let me know when you make it to your folk's place."

"I will. What a nightmare. Make it go away Web."

Once Roxie was at her folks, we talked again. She was wiped out and called it a night. There were still a half dozen trucks out front.

+ + + +

Sleep was a rare commodity in my bedroom. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, counting the sparkles, and dissecting the clues. It would be bizarre to have one teacher on the list, but to have two from the same school? My bullshit detector was flashing bright red. Somebody had it in for those two, but who, and why?

I thought I was sleeping hard, but it wasn't hard enough to miss out on the sound of glass breaking. Turning on the lights, I found a brick amongst the shattered glass. Someone had tied a note to a brick and then launched it through my front room picture window. The note was threatening so I called the police. They found that my garage had hateful graffiti on it as well.

Learning that Roxie was the accused teacher, the police changed their attitude and treated me like shit.

Having only slept for a few hours, my legs we wobbling to start the day. Would the morning newscast simply repeat the lies and innuendo from last night? I didn't have to wait long. The predators were the lead story, and monopolizing the whole newscast. Even the national broadcast did a sound bite. Alena was getting a little national exposure. She wore rings as if she was married, but her online profile said she was single. I know I'm biased, but she really is a good reporter. She handles herself well.

I took a few hours off in morning off to secure plywood to the gaping hole on my house. Before starting my repairs, I took lots of pictures. My neighbor helped on the graffiti. It was mostly removed but I'll have to repaint some areas. My insurance agent had an adjustor drop by to start my claim. The news trucks were a constant pain, but I refused to talk with them. I made it into work around eleven.

I got another text message, just before noon 'Don't miss the mid-day broadcast, Ms. Smith'

Rather than going out for lunch, I hung around the break room, where the televisions were.

'This is Alena Wallace reporting. We have uncovered a link between the two teachers. Security footage shows them leaving together, during lunch, on several occasions. Whatever they are mixed up with remains a mystery. We can only hope that there are no children involved.'

Well that ought to get the gallows built. Fuck due process, hang em high, and then find a way to justify it. The Salem witch hunt came to mind. Tie a stone to the accused woman and throw her in a lake. If she floated, she was a witch and you burned her at the stake. If she sank, you praised her as a good woman at her funeral.

The best news of the day came mid-afternoon. Interrupting the soap operas, they cut in with a news conference from the state capitol steps.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. We have been bombarded with questions about the teachers and the sex offender's list. Our staff and consultants have determined that the sex offender's database was hacked three days ago. Two entries had their names, birthdates, and other information changed to those of the teachers involved. We have rectified the problem and are looking into how the breach occurred. Our apologies go out to those two teachers. This appears to be an act of revenge directed at them."

The remainder of the press conference was the usual grandstanding, by both the reporters and government officials.

The school district issued a statement, reassuring the parents and students that all of their employees were vetted properly, and welcoming the teachers back.

My call to Roxie went to messages, so I left one telling her the good news. She called back ten minutes later.

"Sorry Web, I was talking with the school district. I've been removed from the classroom for the foreseeable future. Many parents are adamant about NOT having me as their child's teacher."

"Bad news travels fast, but the truth takes time to erase the damage. Any idea who the two of you pissed off?"

"Not really. I haven't talked with Cody, nor do I intend to. Thinking about all of my interactions, with teachers and administrators, I come up empty. I'm not an activist, so I can't tell you the last confrontation I've had at the school."

"They reported that you and Cody leave at lunch. What's that all about?"

"Just running to the office supply store for classroom stuff."

"Oh, ok. Will you be home tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll head back to the country club and grab my car. See you later."

+ + + +

Roxie showed up an hour later. The news crews failed in their attempts to get an interview. We hugged each other for a good fifteen minutes. She was sobbing lightly.

The state's news conference was the top story. They had just done a commercial after the weather when they came back with their big red BREAKING NEWS screen. Roxie and I were sitting together on the couch watching the broadcast.

'This is Alena Wallace reporting. We have just learned that Cody Harper and Roxie Lewis, the sex offender list teachers, were having an affair. Although the police won't officially confirm or deny it, we have reason to believe that they are now planning to investigate both spouses for the database hacking. We are now convinced that the hacking of the sex offender's database is indeed an act of revenge.'

I turned towards Roxie, the look on her face was that of a shattered woman. Her mouth was open, but only grunts and gasps were emitted. Bolting from the couch, Roxie screamed "I'm sorry Web" as she sprinted into the garage. Her car sped away as I sat there numb.

Less than an hour later, the knock on my door confirmed Alena's prediction. A detective had a few questions for me.

From 'When did I find out about Roxie's affair?' to 'Would you mind taking a polygraph test?'

I had nothing to hide. My interview made it clear to the detectives, and myself, that I was the stupid trusting husband. The polygraph went just about perfect. I was completely eliminated as a suspect.

Apparently Cody's wife had preceded me, as my detective told the other detective 'Well, it wasn't the spouses.'

My attempts to reach Roxie went straight to voicemail. My texts did not elicit a response.

When I received a text from Alena, I decided to talk to the press.

'Web, would you agree to do an on-camera interview with me?'

'Will you be gentle, Ms. Smith?'

She responded with a smiley face.

I had to protect myself 'Send me the questions. I won't be ambushed.'

Alena's list of questions seemed reasonable, so we met over a cup of coffee. She looks even better in person than on television, and I let her know that. She apologized again for being the bearer of bad news. After we finished our coffees, the scripted interview started.

"This is Alena Wallace reporting live. I have with me Web Lewis, husband of the wrongly accused teacher Roxie Lewis. How are you holding up Web?"

"As well as can be expected."

"Did you ever believe Roxie was a sex offender?"

"Not for a minute. Almost immediately I suspected foul play. One teacher, maybe. Two at the same school? I wasn't buying it."

"Were you aware that your spouse was having an affair with Cody Harper?"

"Nope. First I knew about it was when you revealed it on television. I have no reports from investigators confirming or denying the affair. My gut feeling is yes, she was having an affair. Roxie has not responded to my attempts to reach her."

"How are your computer skills?"

"I can do email and surf websites. The only database I work with is for my home office."

"Have the police contacted you?"

"They did and I passed their polygraph. I'm no longer a person of interest."

Alena veered off of the approved questions.

"Do you think a friend of yours might have discovered Roxie's affair and scorched her earth for you?"

"Well, if Roxie was having an affair, then I would like to applaud whoever did do it. I doubt that the keepers of that database are thrilled, but the upside is that the next attempt to hack it will be tougher."

"So, you wouldn't be mad at them?"

"Not really. Yes, it did bring out the legions of nutcases, but it also presented a teaching opportunity at the middle school. Heck, based on the national coverage, it gave schools across the country an opportunity to revisit a delicate subject."

Alena's next question returned to the approved list "Has it calmed down in your neighborhood?"

"Definitely. The news trucks are gone and the vandalism has been cleaned up. Guess it's true that local news feeds off of dirty laundry."

That drew a scowl from Alena, but she recovered quickly "Especially when children are at stake. This is Alena Wallace reporting."

After the bright lights had faded to blue, Alena angrily whispered to me "What was that last comment all about. Were you trying to embarrass me?"

I whispered right back "You publicized the problems in my marriage. For what reason? Were you hoping that I'd tear up? All I did was give you a chance to use your impromptu skills. You did fine."

Alena's face softened "I'm sorry if I offended you. That was not my intent. I hope we can still be friends, or more if your situation changes."

"We can, and we will, if my situation changes."

We parted with smiles reflecting, but with no hugs nor kisses.

+ + + +

As I was driving to the office, in the morning, I pondered Alena's comment about a friend protecting me. What would I have done had I found out about her affair some other way? Would I have been calm, cool, and collected? I doubt it, but the way it worked out, Roxie got slammed pretty good. Even though her name shouldn't have been on the sex offender's list, most parents demanded that their children be removed from her classroom. Without children of my own, I couldn't relate. According to the news, Roxie was put in a clerical job in the district's office.

When I heard that Cody Harper's wife filed for divorce, I decided to contact her. Actually, I had my attorney contact her attorney, and they agreed to share their findings. Roxie and Cody had been sneaking off during lunch about twice a month. They had motel receipts dating back to the start of the school year. One time might have been salvageable, but not this. I filed for divorce.

It had been ten days, and no calls from Roxie when she shattered the silence.

Seeing her name come up on caller ID I answered "Roxie, this is a surprise. Thought you'd already run off with Cody."

"Web, I'm sorry. I was a fool. It was me acting like a teenage slut. I've learned my lesson. Isn't there any way we can work this out?"

"Let's see. Should I endure a lifetime of people wondering if I'm married to the sex offender teacher slut? Tell me, why would I want a life like that?"

With her voice cracking "People will forget in time Web. Please?"

"Maybe if slut wasn't in that description, but it is. You killed the love I had for you, and for what? You live with it. I won't. Goodnight Roxie."

"I love you Web, I really do" didn't prevent me from hanging up.

The house echoed. I learned quickly about being lonely. Your spouse is also your best friend. You spend so much time together. Once you start spending your time with your wild emotional swings, your mind plays funny games with you. I hated it. Loneliness got to me after a few weeks. I texted Alena 'Coffee? I filed.'