Do We Need to Tal?

Author's Note

This story is about reluctance, cuckolding, love, sex, divorce, and sharing, and is NOT about swingers.

***************************************

Prologue:

The song is sung in a female voice ...

I've been devoting myself to you,

Monday to Monday and Friday to Friday.

Not getting enough attention,

Or decent incentives to keep me at it.

I'm starting to feel just a little abused,

Like a coffee machine in an office (Uh).

So I'm gonna go somewhere close to get me a lover

And tell you all about it.

...

SOS, she's in disguise.

SOS, she's in disguise.

There's a she wolf in disguise,

Coming out, coming out, coming out.

There's a she wolf in your closet,

Let it out, so it can breathe!

Lyrics from the song

"Shewolf"

by Shakira, 2009.

Intro

I was sitting on my usual left side of our recliner loveseat, kicked back with my feet up. After reading the text messages again, I set the cellphone down on the small table beside me and picked up my glass of bourbon, downing the shot quickly. I tried to return my attention to the scifi movie. But watching the movie was almost impossible over the last few hours, with the images swirling in my mind. I was experiencing a tension I hadn't felt in decades and a queasy feeling in my stomach. It was a nagging feeling, a doubt, wondering if anything could ever be the same, or if I could ever tolerate this.

The first text, almost three hours ago:

'Motel Six in 45 min, if you changed your mind. Last chance.'

The second text was forty-five minutes later:

'Room 105. Maybe 15 minutes more, or else.

And the third, a half hour ago:

'Too late now! ETA 2:00.'

Glancing at the clock, it was now ten minutes before two in the morning when I heard the car stop outside, the car door closed, and a few seconds later the key turned in our front door lock. She came in and casually dropped her purse and car keys on the table in the foyer. She looked gorgeous in her short black cocktail dress when she bent down to unbuckle the straps of her four-inch heels, placing them neatly together beside the door.

Looking at me in the living room loveseat recliner, she noticed the empty glass in my hand. I tried desperately to keep from looking stern or judgmental, but it must have come across as a worried or a concerned expression on my face. My silence and the look on my face didn't seem to bother her, as I somehow wished it might. Without saying a word, she walked tiredly toward the bar, poured shots of bourbon into two short glasses, and came to the loveseat, handing one to me, then taking the empty glass from my other hand, she set it on the side table.

Plopping down onto the loveseat beside me, her head tiredly lolled back against the seatback, and she closed her eyes. I could see the smile as she seemed to enjoy a vision only she would remember. When she opened her eyes, she straightened, took a sip of her bourbon and turned to smile at me. She glanced down at my pants, then reached with her left hand to feel and caress the obvious bulge. Looking back into my eyes, she gave me the happiest smile I had ever seen, and there was no way I would ever think of taking that away from her. I hoped she noticed as all tension in my face melted away, and I returned her smile.

Setting her glass on her side table, she turned back to me, leaned over, and began working on my pants zipper. She stopped briefly to look up at me, then said "I'll give you all the details, if you want ...

The Perfect Couple

When our kids were both finally in high school and busy with friends and after school activities in the evenings, their stay-at-home mom found a job and had her own work life outside our house. But with only the occasional school play, and family outings becoming rare (teenagers only grudgingly go anywhere with their parents), my wife and I found more time alone together in the evenings and weekends.

I know a lot of people are probably expecting at this point I'll start describing how things between us got stale, with me going through some mid-life crisis and cheating. Or maybe my wife will hook up with a co-worker or boss for a fling. The clueless spouse discovers the affair or the other admits it, and the wronged spouse gets revenge. After some drama and suspense (sometimes extreme), we'll end in divorce, possibly reconcile, or I might just be a cuckold forever.

But that's not us.

To start, why wouldn't I have a mid-life crisis? Experience!

I married my high school girlfriend, Gina right after we graduated, and I joined the Army for my first fulltime job. We were both looking to escape our small hometown, and the military seemed the easy way out. We had known each other for years, and the sex we had together was incredible and adventurous. We both enjoyed sex and did almost everything a heterosexual couple might try together. But a young couple squeezing a household budget from an army private's salary struggles to make ends meet, and that causes tensions which sex doesn't relieve. Young wives around a military base are hard pressed to find any good jobs. And in our impetuous youth, days, weeks, and months seem like forever. So, in hindsight now that I'm older, I can't blame Gina for wanting some company when I was deployed.

The questions in many young military marriages are "How much can (will?) a husband tolerate, when he wants the pussy waiting for his return? And can he really demand (expect?) that her legs stay closed, and her pussy unused and saved for his return?" Must it be only about what HE wants?"

I learned that almost every military base has that infamous nightclub where many wives go when their husbands deploy for weeks or months at a time. The single soldiers on base always have more discretionary money to spend and would buy those lonely wives drinks (which the married household budget couldn't afford.) So, sexual tensions in young military marriages are soon tested.

Gina couldn't hold out for those weeks the first time I was gone. And after the second month-long deployment, it was time for her to say it:

"We need to talk."

Then our impatience and intolerance with each other quickly grew. Gina swore she loved me, but it wasn't enough ... for either of us!

When I couldn't get over the feeling of her turning me into a cuckold, after little more than a year of marriage, we divorced.

Well, DUH! Isn't that what you were expecting? Isn't that what men do to stop being a cuckold? Or is it already too late, and once she cheated the guy IS a cuckold and even divorce doesn't change the past? Forever after, he can always say

"Yeah, my first wife cucked me, so I guess I'm a cuckold."

Divorced, widowed, or remarried, that statement will always be true.

"My first wife did this ..."

With no kids, our divorce was quick and easy. Gina moved back home to her parents, and I spent most of the remaining two years of my enlistment as a bachelor living in the barracks. And by not supporting a wife and house, I had that discretionary money to try buying other wives drinks.

I saw infidelity from both sides and listened to several woeful tales of loneliness and longing desires. Of course, having been on the receiving end of an unfaithful wife, one might think I'd be more understanding of their husband's feelings. But a single woman for sex anywhere near an army base is not easily found every day or even every week, unless you pay a hooker! So, in my defense, drinks are the currency, pussy is pussy married or not, and the soldiers living in barracks have needs, too.

I remember one time when my roommate found a particularly horny young woman and snuck her into the barracks on a Friday night. That was a fun time for several of us in our platoon. No, we didn't rape her! She was VERY willing and seemed insatiable! I learned what one horny woman could want and do in 36 hours!

When the Staff Duty NCO caught us sneaking her out on Sunday morning, he was going to report us. But she casually said, "I'll take care of this," as she took his hand and led him into the company commander's empty office. An hour later, she came out saying she had to go home to be there when her husband came back from his deployment. Apparently, sometimes it doesn't even take drinks!

My first wife, Gina never did any barracks gangbangs (or at least she never admitted to it in her "talk".) She just needed a quick bang in the back seat of a car when I wasn't there to give it to her. I later learned that Gina found another guy a year after she went back home, and he made her happy. He was always there for her when she needed him. So, sorry to disappoint, but in this case there was no burning the bitch.

When I left the Army after my four-year enlistment, I was VERY experienced in all kinds of marital trials. Then I found a good job and met the perfect girl, Sarah, surprisingly a virgin who saved herself for the not-so-perfect guy. I felt like I was extremely lucky, and I dedicated myself to her and our kids for the next twenty years.

My 21-year-old virginal bride was most guy's "dream come true." As our kids were growing, she was the dedicated mother, wife, and always looked like the neighborhood MILF. But I knew her and trusted her, because she wasn't fawning over my dick like a hungry slut. And now being out of the Army, I was always there for her.

Sarah seemed to enjoy our sex together. But she wasn't as adventurous as Gina. Sex to Sarah was for making babies and giving me relief when I needed her. I would go down on her, which she never asked me to do and only accepted as something I wanted. Then I'd penetrate her to bring her to a back-clawing, leg shaking orgasm. But it didn't seem to be a craving she needed.

Sarah was more into the romance of me seducing her, spreading open to lovingly give herself to me, and cuddling afterwards. And blowjobs were never a part of that seduction, so she never offered. Once or twice per year I might talk her into "kissing me down there", but it would only last no more than a minute just to appease me. And any discussion of anal was out of the question. But we had a good sex life together, and she would even agree to watch porn sometimes (which is why I knew she hated blowjobs and wouldn't discuss anal.)

So, as the kids grew and left us with more time together, we had a good life. I had sown my wild oats with Gina and other women when I was young, and neither of us seemed to have any unfulfilled yearnings ... until ...

The Timely Influence

Sarah's older sister, Judy, was the one in their family who was NOT a shy virgin when she married. Judy went away to college and had some wild times before she met her husband. Then over their twenty-three years of marriage, they seemed to be the perfect couple and Judy never alluded to anything wrong between the two of them. They were just a normal couple, like all of those other good monogamous marriages

(wink, wink)

who never talk about what goes on behind closed doors. So, after years together in what appeared to be a perfect marriage, their split came as a surprise to the family.

When Judy separated from her husband, Sarah started having lunch with her at least once per week, to help her sister through those changing and emotional times. And even after the divorce was final, the sisters continued their weekly lunch dates.

Judy's husband and I were never close, and he didn't discuss any of the divorce details with me. I only heard the excuses and accusations from the one-sided discussions between the sisters, with Judy always being the aggrieved party enduring the overbearing husband.

But one time, about a year before their divorce, I remembered talking to her husband at a family picnic. After a few beers, I fell back into my old crude army talk and I mentioned how lucky we were to have our MILFs to fuck whenever we wanted. He caught me off guard when he pondered, "And I wonder who else?" I just brushed off that comment, putting it down to the alcohol. But in hindsight, I should have asked if he was implying that Judy cheated on him. Or could he even be relaying some rumor about my wife?

Judy's divorce came at a time when their kids were out of the house in college. And she was hot-looking in her late forties, an empty-nest divorcee, making the rounds with her new freedom to date. We could all see the confidence building in Judy, making her more assertive and bolder when discussing her dating life. So, it came as no surprise when I started hearing Sarah talking more about sex.

And it's all of these little bits of conversations here and there which accumulate in the back of your mind, building some nagging doubts.

The Sunday Lunch

I was in the house taking a break from cutting grass when Sarah arrived from her latest lunch with her sister.

Sitting at the kitchen table with a cold glass of iced tea, I asked "So, what's the latest with Judy? Did she show up in another 'walk of shame' cocktail dress like last week?"

"No," Sarah replied. "She was dressed in a tennis outfit. But she did talk about her time at a nightclub last night. She said she went home with the guy she picked, and he had a long penis. He did her 'prone'. I didn't ask her, ... but what does that mean, 'prone'?"

"That's when she started on her knees as he entered her from behind, then she laid down while he continued fucking her, with him leaning over her back."

"Why would she do that?" my naive wife asked. "She wouldn't be able to see him, if she's lying face down on the bed."

"Some women find that exciting, as he's entering her at a different angle and hitting her G-spot," I tried to explain. "I think it also has something to do with rubbing against their ass, and that's an erogenous zone for some. Wouldn't you like to feel something different sometime?"

"I like what we have together when we're making love," she replied.

"It doesn't have to always be about

making love

," I pointed out. "It can sometimes just be fun to have sex for the physical sensations or the erotic visuals."

"Do you ever wish you were back with Gina or some of those other women you had before me?" she asked.

Sarah knew about my first wife and other flings I had before her. But we never discussed any of the details.

"No!" I insisted. "I love you and I trust you. That trust is something I lost with Gina. And the other women I had were fun, but it's not the same thing I have with you."

"But do you ever want other women?"

"I already answered that," I pointed out. "I had more than enough of that kind of fun when I was younger. ... Why do you keep asking? Are you thinking about missing out on other guys?"

".. No," she said hesitantly with a hint of quiet shyness, but I noticed her delay. "You're all I've ever needed."

"So, if we're good together, then there's nothing else to discuss about it, ... right?" I asked, wanting some reassurance from her.

Again, she thought for a few seconds before answering "... Right. We're good with what we have together."

Words have meanings and communicate thoughts, and I silently noticed her use of the word 'needed' and how she didn't say

'I was all she WANTED'.

And her hesitations when responding sent a loud signal that there was more on her mind than she was admitting.

Dinner Later

When we were eating dinner later that evening, I brought up the talk again about sex, asking Sarah about her desires and fantasies.

"Do you ever fantasize about sex, maybe thinking of something different?" I asked.

"I don't know," she started. "What do you mean by something different? ... What would you do as a different fantasy?"

"Mine would be to see you kneeling in front of me, as I shoot my load into your open mouth."

"Yuck!" she exclaimed, making a disgusted face. "You want more than just a kiss down there? You know I don't like doing that."

"But you could do it, if you love me."

"Don't make it about 'love', that's not fair!" she almost shouted. "I shouldn't have to do disgusting things for you. That's like blackmail to suggest I don't love you for not wanting to do it!"

"Well, what about you?" I asked again. "Don't you have anything you'd like different with sex?"

"I don't think so. ..." and again, she hesitated. "You're all I really need, and I like what we do together."

I noticed she was reluctant to describe any fantasy, saying I'm the only one she ever needed. But she always uses the word "need", not "want", and I realized she's holding back.

Sarah then turned the conversation around and kept asking me if I might want to fuck other women, and I wondered if she might subtly feel like she's missed out on life by never having experienced other men.

*******

I thought about my wife always seeing sex as functional, almost as if it's a reason to get married, to have a family. And the way she acts after sex with her seeming to think it's a guilty pleasure, she needs cuddling with me afterwards, as if it's some loving penance for enjoying the physical sensations.

We went to bed, where I went down on her as she squirmed under my tongue, then we fucked with her on her back (as always), but this time she kept her eyes closed. By the sounds she made, I could tell she was enjoying it. But she wasn't looking at me. She was imagining her own fantasy, which she hadn't revealed to me, behind those closed eyelids.

As I was thrusting into her, I said "You feel him pounding into you! You like it, don't you? You want him to finish inside you." I was trying to feed her imagination, trying to take part in the image she might be envisioning. I slowed my thrusts, pushing each one deep into her and said "Tell him where you want it. ... Say it!"

"IN ME," she quietly insisted. "Cum in me!" and I suddenly felt her heels pull desperately at me, drawing me in deep as her legs shuddered and her hands dug their fingernails into my back. She let out an almost primal groan before burying her mouth in my neck to try silencing herself. But her orgasm continued, and I could feel her cunt spasming on my cock, as if trying to milk it dry. When I exploded inside her, she must have felt the change and her arms contracted drawing her fingernails down my back.

This was one of the most intense reactions I had ever felt from my wife!

"What brought that on?"

I thought, a little surprised at the intensity of her orgasm.

Grabbing some tissues from the nightstand box, we caught the mess as I rolled off her. Then she rolled onto her side, snuggling close to me and she put her head on my shoulder. I wrapped one arm around her, pulling her close as we drifted off to sleep.

Desires

At breakfast the next morning, I casually asked "So who were you thinking about last night?", probing to learn who she visualized when I fucked her. "Was it someone you know at work?"

"No!" she quickly said, shaking her head. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, with your eyes closed last night, I know it wasn't just me."

Hesitating, she reluctantly started in a quiet voice "I was thinking of a romance movie. I wondered what happens later, ... when they go to bed. ... it was someone like George Clooney, and I wondered what it might be like, if they would do it like we do."

"Well, it's not likely you'll ever find out with him," and we both laughed, joking about it.

******

After a lot of soul searching and thinking about it, I realized I had all of the erotic and physical sex I would ever need when I was younger. It left me wanting the love Sarah and I had together. But she didn't have anything to compare our togetherness with, only ever having sex with me. And I wondered if there might be some longing growing in her over what she's missed.

'Will she always WANT me?'