Do for Lust Won't Do for Luv

He sighed and said, "I need to know something. Two or three some things actually but first of all."

He sighed again and opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again. He seemed to have problems with getting out the next question, but finally asked, "Do you love him?"

She quickly shook her head and said, "No!"

He started to ask why but she continued , "Its just some type of animal magnetism with us. He doesn't love me and I don't love him. I do love you."

He said, "You're not helping your cause by saying that."

She looked up sharply at that, but before she could ask about his comment he rushed on, "Explain to me how it got started then."

She looked down at her hands in her lap, and breathed in deeply has she organized her thoughts, "It was during a business trip," She went to conferences for her job two or three times a year. Usually for two or three nights but ever so often there were longer ones. She usually used the longer ones as a way to get away from the children and husband for a couple of days and to be by herself.

"It was the one that lasted eight nights. I met him the second night while relaxing with a drink in the lounge. I was at a fairly large booth by myself. I...I...I don't think I would have done anything with him if it wasn't for the first time."

Suspecting his reaction to that statement she winced but it wasn't quite as bad as she expected, even though in a way it was worst.

In a soft tone filled with hurt and anger he asked, "The first time??!"

"Yes, I...I had had sex once b..before, two years and four months ago. It was during the trip I took eight weeks after my miscarriage. As you know we hadn't had sex for over six weeks,"

As she paused for breath he stated, "over eight weeks."

"Yes, over eight weeks partly because the doctor said not to for a while and partly because I had no desire for sex. We both wondered how long my libido would be turned off. A business trip was coming up and we along with my doctor thought a change of scenery could be good for my emotional healing. You thought I could be alone without having to be concerned about the day to day care of the kids and if need be I could finish grieving by myself in the hotel room. I...I should not have gone. I was not as over it as I thought and as I told when I got back my libido turned itself back on during the trip. What I didn't tell you was that it was on the flight out. I wished it had been just a few hours earlier so I could have had sex with you before I left, not only for my sake but for yours. I knew you were suffering not only with your grief but from terminal horniness."

She paused here, wiped her eyes, sighed, then said, "You were such a strength to me, comforting me, taking care of the kids, making sure they didn't bug me and not making in sexual demands while I was turned off. That is why I gave you the three blow jobs and twice brought you off with my hand."

"I appreciated that and I said so."

"Yes, you did and you gave my flowers and cards and told me I was a good mother when I was berating myself, for not taking care of the kids while I was physically recovering."

She paused again, looked at his face, with tears running down her cheeks, and said, "That is why I love you so much and why I feel so guilty. You've been there for me but I repaid your love and affection by betraying you.

Sniff, "I know you are probably asking yourself if I love and appreciate you so much why cant I keep my legs closed? After the trip I asked myself that many times."

He just grunted since he didn't think he could say anything without yelling something that was better left unsaid.

She continued, "Anyway my sexual desires came back hard. It was as if they had been storied up for those weeks and released all at the same time. By the time the flight was over I was wet. I had lusted after every male on the flight even for some that were not good looking. I had flirted with one male flight attendant and flirted back with one male passenger. The attendant was probably used to it and ignored it but I think the passenger may have been expecting more since we had gotten in a little deep with the flirting.

"After landing I got my room and settled in. The meetings started the next day so I met and talked with a couple of individuals I knew in the same business. Later I went to the hotel's restaurant for dinner. It was not a good night for me. Not only was there all those good looking men whom I wanted but half way through dinner I started thinking about the baby I lost. It wasn't fair I shouted in my head, I had carried it over half way to term. I could barely keep my tears back but I didn't want to make a public spectacle of myself. So I ended up leaving without finishing my dinner. I went to my room and cried. You called to make sure if I had made it OK. I knew it was you so I answered it but as I did I felt ashamed. I had told you it was over it, mostly anyway, yet here I was crying like a baby. So I told you I was OK. You did sense I wasn't, possibly because of the way my voice sounded, but I bluffed my way out of it. Your presence, even over the phone, helped though and I was able to fall asleep soon afterward. The next day I was better and went about my responsibilities of learning knew things for my boss. I did well and had only a couple short periods of mourning throughout the day. After the scheduled meetings I decided to go to dinner early, just in case there was a repeat of last night. With less people in the place I won't have to worry so much about making a spectacle of myself if I had a crying fit.

"When I arrived at the restaurant it was closed but would open in a minute or two. I saw that there was only a couple other diners waiting, which I thought was perfect. I was finally seated and ordered. I did fine I had no moments when I thought I was going to fall apart however my libido seemed to be operating on high again. During the day it hadn't been that big of a problem, as if it knew that the day was important so it held itself in check until it was time to play. I was so horny I almost lusted after a couple of the waitresses. I blanched at that thought, not what I wanted at all. I tell you that just to show you how horny I was. Anyway earlier while waiting for the place to open I had over heard three waitresses talking. They didn't have much to do until the dinner crowd got there so they were girl talking. Remember these were young woman twenty to twenty-five I believe. They were talking about the various men they were dating. I ignored most of what they said but one thing did catch my attention. One waitress said this one stud who worked there was well hung. The others agreed. He was significantly bigger then any of the other men they had been having sex with. That was all I heard but it was enough.

"During dinner since there was only two or three men around, my lustful thoughts turned to pictures I had seen. Remember that adult catalog we got in the mail? We didn't understand why they had sent it to us since we didn't buy that stuff and hadn't ordered it. Anyway it had pictures of videos of huge men. I examined those pictures. Later while you were on the Internet I happened to see an ad for a site that showed huge cocks. I talked you into going there. You did and looked over the huge cocks they showed for free. I was amazed how any woman could get those inside them but there were pictures showing it. I started to think about this stud the girls had discussed."

Manty said, "You said the ones on that site were too big for you."

"They were, most of them that is. Even with the pictures showing it could happen I didn't want those monsters anywhere even close to my slit. Or even my mouth, for I had been really amazed by the pictured of the girls sucking on those monsters. However there had been a couple of the smaller cocks I thought I could handle. I had spent some of the time, as I checked them over, wondering how it would feel to be that full. I was ashamed of those thoughts so I never told you.

"During dinner I began to imagine a huge shaft in me. About that time in walked a stud. He most have been the guy those waitresses had been talking about. He fit their description and his name tag had the same name they had mentioned. I almost started panting when he walked by. He was handsome and looked like a football player. I could feel myself get wet. I, at first, refused to indulge in such thoughts. No way was I going to cheat on you. But then something clicked in my mind. I had been through an emotional hell recently. I deserved something and you had been given sex during my time of recovery while I got zip.

Manty started to say something but she continued, "Yes I know I hadn't gotten anything because I hadn't wanted anything, but my emotions s 'till didn't think it was fair. I was feeling a lot of self pity all of a sudden, I mean I had gone of this trip to have a good time and I ended up fighting my tears and my lust. Not a good time. I decided to get me something I wanted. It just so happened that at that moment what I wanted was sex. And not just any sex. I wanted something I had been wondering about for a couple of years. I decided to screw that stud.

"Forgive me but after I was seated for dinner I didn't think of you or the kids once. Well, I thought of you twice. The first time I mentioned already that you got something and I didn't. I never thought about how what I was doing could hurt you or the kids. Maybe my vagina was doing my thinking for me I don't know. Anyway I was just being selfish. I knew it at the time but I had been a good mother for over two years, sacrificing my time and energy for the kids, I had been a good wife for you far longer then that. Well, most of the time a good wife, I knew there had been moments I had not been. As I said already I had just gone through an emotional hell and you had gotten your jollies off, but not me. So I was going to do something for me while at the same time find out something I have been wondering about for years.

"I figured that this stud most not be too big or those girls would not have been speaking so highly of him. Yes, I knew the flaw with that reasoning but I knew I was about to find out either way.

"After I ate I went looking for him and found him repairing something. I asked him his name and chatted for a couple minutes trying to figure out how to get him to my room. From our conversation I gathered that he had been asked up to woman's rooms before. That made it easier so I just asked him if he could come up. He said he had an hour dinner break coming up in ten minutes and since he usually ate his dinner while working, he could go up there then. For one hour. I said that's fine and wondered around the restaurant for ten minutes. He found me and we went up the elevator. Once in my room we talked some more. Even though he had been in this position before he wasn't sure of himself so finally I just said in my sexist voice for him to come over. He did and I kissed him. Soft then hard, and harder s 'till. I helped him undo my blouse and bra. Soon he was sucking and caressing my breasts. God that felt good. I didn't need any foreplay to get ready. I was wet enough as soon as we entered the room, in fact I was ready back when I had asked him his name. Anytime during dinner I could have taken a man's pole without foreplay. I had thought about, just as soon as entered the room, to rip off his clothes and just insert him in but decided I wanted some pampering also. After a few minutes of the sucking, I decided it was time to see if he really had the equipment. I reached own and felt his manhood through his pants. Sure enough it was big but I realized that it wasn't completely hard yet. My eyes widen at that point. He was already larger then you and yet s 'till had a bit to go before being all the way hard."

She looked down at this point and said in a small voice, "That was the second time and last time I thought of you."

She paused then continued, "I let him take off my pants and to go down on me. I got comfortable and he climbed on the bed on his hands and knees. He scooted over in between my legs and started licking. He was not as good as you nor was he as responsive to me as you are. However as worked up as I was it didn't take long. After a few short minutes I had a small climax. On our scale of from one to ten, it was probably a four maybe a three and a half. Not as powerful as I expected because of the way I felt all night, but his licking and sucking on my clit wasn't as experienced as you. Even on our wedding night you had done a better job then him. Since we were on a time limit I thought that was enough time for me so I sucked on him. Just for a few minutes, enough time to taste him, yes I was so worked up I wanted to taste his manhood, and to see what a shaft that large would feel like in my mouth.

"He was at least four inches and probably over five and half inches longer then you, and he was at least one-third wider then you."

Manty started to say something but Darlinia beat him to it, "No, you are not too short for me. Before and even after I fucked him, you fill me up just right. My desire for him had nothing to do with your size. Please believe me. It was just something I wanted to experience once in my life or so I thought anyway.

"Anyway I couldn't deep throat him but I licked and sucked and jacked him off,"

She paused and said in a small voice, "I was hungry for him, I couldn't get enough. I had problems scraping the tops of my teeth along the edge of the flared head of his manhood, like you like but I made up for it by licking just the underside of the head. I was able to nimble on the flared edges, even bit harder on some spots again like you like. I spent some time sucking on just the head while running one hand up and down the rest of the shaft. Sooner then expected he cried out and without warning he shot off in my mouth. He had been quiet up to that point so I had no idea he was so close. I got a good taste of him. That catalog and that web site didn't say anything about huge balls but his were bigger then yours. One to two inches larger around and as you might think he produced more sperm. So much I had problems swallowing it. I felt it run out on either side of my mouth but I didn't care, I..I wanted it. I kept sucking partly because I wasn't done and partly because I wanted to make sure he got hard again. After a few minutes I stopped and told him it was time to fuck. I laid on the bed and he climbed on top. He had problems aiming his pole just right so I had to help him get it in. Once he was started I told him to go slow. I almost commanded him to ram it in, I was so aroused. If he had been smaller I would have, but a little corner of my mind pleaded caution. Once he was all the way in I asked to make sure none of him was sticking out and after he affirmed he was in I told him to wait before he moved. I wanted to feel how he filled me up. He waited without moving. He was different. I cannot tell you what a feeling that was. I am sorry to say it was thrilling. I could feel he was taking up more room then what I was used to. Finally he started moving. He soon had a good rhythm going.

"Again not as good as you. He just didn't know enough or didn't put out enough effort to be a great lover. It could be that he depended too much on his size."

While she was explaining all this Manty was sitting there frozen. As she described her first time with another man he felt shocked, his heart seemed to stop at one point, and his breath came in ragged breathes. At one point he had began to feel sorry for her and to understand why she did that guy, however now he was feeling the same emotions he had felt at the Rental only less powerfully.

She continued, "He lasted this second time a long time, which was good for me. It took me a while to work up to a second climax. He did fill me more then you and he did go in deeper. Much deeper but at the same time he didn't do anything extra. He just seemed to bludgeon his way in and out. At one point I lifted myself up to watch him enter me. It was a turn on to see that big guy disappear up my, uh, pussy while at the same time feeling him fill me. I say big guy because even though he was large he was not a monster, for which I was glad even in my state.

"Soon after I laid back down my climax hit. It started slow and built until I was almost screamed. As you know I get louder the more aroused I am. I was loud at the end there, not as loud as I had been with you many times, since as I said it was only a six, but s 'till up there. Just before it hit I started bucking back at him trying to get in deeper and to pump faster. He didn't, but then it hit and I didn't care. After my back finished arching and I fell back I breathed deeply but he just kept on going at the same speed. After maybe two minutes or even four, he finally increase his pumping. His being inside me s 'till felt good and I had laid back to enjoy the feeling. Soon after his increase in speed he finally again made a noise. He said something I could not understand then grunted very loudly and long. He jammed his long shaft even further in me. Too far really for he nicked an ovary. Just hard enough to send a medium jab of pain through me. Then I felt his sperm start to shot inside me. Time after time I felt a liquid hotness explode out of him. He must have filled my pussy as much as he had my mouth.

"When he was done I looked at the clock and said that he had eight minutes to get dressed and back to work. He was surprised by that, but pulled out quickly, and started cleaning himself up with a hand cloth from the bathroom. While undressing he had been careful to lay out his clothes neatly and now he hurriedly put them all back on. I just lay there and watched him. He rushed to the door but turned and thanked me for it had been a great time, I said something back to him even though I am not sure what now. It had not been so great for me even it had not been bad. I was somewhat disappointed but I didn't want to say that to him so I said a couple instructions that if followed would make him a better lover. He said thanks then finished by saying the blow job had been one of the best and that I was a great fuck, then he was out the door.

I laid there disappointed. None of it had been bad even if rushed a bit, but it hadn't been as good as I had anticipated either. It had not been as good as I was used to. Even on our honeymoon, as inexperienced as we were, you had done better then him. And I wasn't sure if I liked that last comment he made. True part of me, my feminine pride, rejoiced that I was a good a fuck' to a young stud, but yet most of me didn't want to be just a a fuck'.

"I had been partially sated and I was calming down sexually speaking."

She paused as Manty stood up. His posture had finally made his back hurt enough for the pain to get through his state of mind and heart. He stood up and began to pace back and forth slowly. His emotions had been such that he had had to do something physically anyway.

She continued, "I'm not sure how long I lay there after he left but eventually I realized what I had done and I started crying. I couldn't understand why I had been such a slut. I knew how I rationalized it, but I had felt that way before and never cheated. Of course I had never been through a miscarriage before but s 'till. Then to top it off it hadn't been that good. I had cheated for the first time which was bad enough, but to make it worst it had been a disappointment. I realized that is contradictory but that was my emotional state."

She looked up at her husband at that point and with tears in her years she said, "I went through the rest of the conference almost like a robot. I was glad when it was over and I could come home. The stud tried to get my attention a couple of times, maybe he really did think I gave good blow jobs, but I ignored him."