I love the things people write on dirty vans: 'Also available in white', 'My other car is just as dirty', 'Please clean me', and my favourite which I saw the other day, 'I wish my wife was this dirty'. My wife was with me at the time and I laughed out loud. She looked at me.
'Do you wish I was that dirty?'
'Well ...' Sometimes my wife takes things the wrong way. 'It just tickled me.'
'Maybe I should stop washing,' she said, but I felt she was a little annoyed.
'I don't think that's what it means.' She was silent and I more or less forgot the conversation.
We've been married for thirty years β she's now 51 β and our sex life has been enjoyable but fairly bland β I think vanilla is the word. After an initial adventurous honeymoon of frequent screwing, we soon slipped into a routine of conventional, loving sex, in bed (well, children have a lot to do with that), less frequent as the years have gone on. My wife is still a very attractive woman with a petite figure, better in fact than many women of 30 and many so-called 'MILFs' on the web. She doesn't flaunt herself, even to me, preferring sensible clothes and respectable hobbies.
One night we were watching TV, in our usual positions β me on the settee and my wife sitting on the carpet leaning against my leg, with me stroking her hair and neck. Every so often she would reach up and caress my hand. The programme was engrossing and it took me a few moments to realise that her hand was travelling up my thigh and about to reach my groin β it was as if she was doing it unconsciously. I felt a stirring in my cock. Her small hand started to explore the growing bulge, which rapidly grew to rigidity under this novel attention.
She twisted round to kneel between my legs and started to massage my crotch with both hands. I stroked her hair silently, not wanting to break the spell. She unzipped me and extracted my cock, then closed her hot mouth around it. I nearly came with excitement β she had kissed and licked my cock in the early days but had never consented to put it in her mouth. The few blow-jobs of my premarital youth were a very distant memory.
Her lips slid wetly up and down my shaft, her cheeks hollowed as she sucked. I was in heaven, but rapidly approaching orgasm. I tried to think unsexy thoughts, but the sight of my wife's dear head rising and falling on my straining cock was too much. Fortunately she released my cock just before it exploded and bent lower to suck my tight balls one by one gently into her mouth, then ran her tongue slowly up the entire length of my shaft. She flashed me a wicked grin as she tickled the underside of my glans with her tongue-tip. I hadn't known that my wife possessed such skills.
She resumed her sucking and I knew that I could not hold back any longer. Her fist was around the base of my shaft and my hips were bucking. With a loud groan I ejaculated into her hot mouth. She pulled her head back and the next two spurts went mostly into her open mouth. The rest (for I had not come for a while) splattered over her pretty face. When I subsided she took me into her mouth again and sucked the last few drops out, then swallowed with every sign of enjoyment. She looked at me with a grin and ran her tongue around her cum-covered lips. Further strings of cum lay across her forehead and nose.
My wife knelt up and kissed me β I tasted my own semen on her lips.
'Was that dirty enough for you?' she murmured.
'Oh god,' was all I could say.
She stood up and knelt on the edge of the settee, resting her chest on the back, and hiked her skirt up to her waist. She was naked under it, and to compound my shock I saw that she had shaved her whole crotch. Her beautiful neat pussy, which I had never seen except through its screen of hair, was pale and smooth. Her inner lips were swollen and dark, and opened like a flower as she spread her thighs wide.
'Is that dirty?' she asked.
In reply I knelt behind her and buried my face in her wet puss. Her juices β which I was familiar with, as she did consent to oral sex and enjoyed it more than she would admit β were copious and hot. I speared her tunnel with my tongue and flicked her rubbery little clitoris. I wondered if her new-found dirtiness would extend to her anus, an area I had never been allowed in up to now. I licked slowly up her pussy and over her taut perineum until I reached the puckered little hole, and circled it with my tongue. Her moans of pleasure reassured me. I teased at the tight ring until it relaxed a little and admitted my tongue-tip. God, I was tonguing my wife's arsehole, something I never imagined I would achieve!
However, I didn't want to neglect her pussy. I sucked and chewed and worried at her swollen labia, slurping down the juices that flowed copiously from her gaping tunnel. I nibbled her clitoris and felt her body grow tense with impending climax. I applied the flat of my tongue to her nub and stuck my nose into her pussy, grabbed her thighs and pulled myself into her. Soon her orgasm overwhelmed her and I heard the familiar mewling noise. Her pussy gripped my nose and wetness flowed down my chin.
Normally my wife gets very sensitive after she has come and doesn't like further stimulation for a while. This time I kept my face firmly planted in her pussy and my tongue was relentless, and I was rewarded by two further orgasms, each one noisier and more violent than the last. I pulled back and watched the ebbing contractions of her pussy and anus. There were streaks of wetness down her thighs.
I licked her anus again, and she giggled.