I watched sadly as he leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips "not tonight babe, too tired" he smiled as he turned his back on me again.
I lay back with tears in my eyes. While I knew he wasn't rejecting me, I guess I should have thought things through when I married a man I loved who was nearly 20 years older than me. That was ten years ago and what ever passion had been had in our bed was now a distant memory. Once a month (and lucky if it went for a minute or two) was a good as it got now and I was turning into a woman possessed.
Frustration couldn't begin to describe the intensity of my longing.
Take today for example. From the second my eyes opened I was thinking of it. Big hard thick cocks, willing tongues and teasing fingers. I guess the lack of sex had turned my regular fantasies into something dark, something powerful and exciting. The constant knock backs had developed in me a need to be wanted. I had found myself needing to know that I was desired.
Several months ago at the bus stop I found myself getting wetter by the second as I saw a guys cock stiffen in his jeans at the sight of my "accidentally undone" top three buttons of my shirt. I knew my tits were great. Big and firm they erupted enticingly from my bra and I gave him ample opportunity to look at them, leaning over to my bag several times.The power I felt, knowing I could have him if I wanted left me on a high for days.
Then I started leaving the house with out panties. I shaved my lips smooth and left the house, pussy already dripping as I thought about exposing myself. Could I do it? The first time I walked round the supermarket and chose him. Standing only a few steps from me I leaned into the freezer knowing my already short skirt had now risen high enough to expose my ass cheeks and the moist slit of my cunt. Staying there exposed as long as I could I turned and watched him tear his eyes up to meet mine. They were filled with lust, desire for me and I smiled, almost as satisfied as if he had just thrust the bulge that filled his jeans into my starving pussy.
My actions grew more daring, parted legs on the bus to work, sun baking naked in the garden when I could hear my neighbor pruning the shrubs that separated or gardens or mowing the lawn. Letting my towel to slip as I opened the door to tradesmen or expected male visitors. Never taking it further but needing to know they wanted to fuck me.
Then this last few weeks I had taken to masturbating where I knew I could be caught. In the park, in the secluded corner of a book store and with the lights on, knowing my neighbor could see in through the light net curtains hung at the window. Just knowing he was watching and perhaps joining me in chasing pleasure was enough to have my cunt gripping my fingers in long hard spasms and me crying out with release.
No matter what I did during the day I found myself thinking of a licking sucking mouth between my legs, or a huge cock filling me, my cunt, my mouth and even my ass.
Sometimes it was attractive men and women that I knew, sometimes good looking strangers passing on the street and at other times, even though I felt filled with disgust after it would be people I would never fuck in real life, old people, dirty street people, drunks, even a nun I passed once out the front of a church. As I fingered my dripping hole later that day it was her between my legs thrusting the long end of a crucifix between them lapping at my throbbing clit as she did so. I was starting to worry about myself, where was this obsession going to end?
Turning over I listened to the soft snores my husband made and tried to put myself to sleep. As usual sex dominated my dreams.
This time I was in control, denying another his pleasure. A fit young body lay tied to my bed. An eight inch cock jutting up defiantly towards me. Standing legs spread over his lust filled face I circled my clit with the fingers of one hand while the other held my smooth lips wide open, exposing myself to him. Thrusting two fingers into my tight heat every now and then made him groan with frustration. I knew I had him tied here for hours.
Never letting him touch me unless it was a touch I needed for yet another gasping orgasm. His poor cock was engorged and desperate for release. Almost strangled by a leather cock ring it was nearly purple and twitched and throbbed as I teased it over and over. Sitting on his face and riding him, cumming again with the attentions of his never tiring tongue I skilfully teased him with mine. His cum filled balls slipped easily into my mouth as I tongued them and sucked on them gently. The tip of my tongue flicked butterfly kisses up the length of him, delving into the groove that connected the pre cum covered head with the rigid shaft. He thrust up desperately trying to get his cock into my warm wet mouth, begging me to suck him I cruelly turned away yet again.
Lining the head of his cock up with my wet slit I used his cock to masturbate myself to orgasm. Rubbing the head furiously over my aching clit I felt the waves of pleasure begin. Only allowing the first two inches of his cock into me I came on him as he desperately tried to thrust the whole length of him inside me as I laughed and denied him again.
I sat up with a start, my cunt still contracting as my orgasm subsided. I couldn't believe it, I had cum alone and in my sleep!
As my husband stirred from his slumber I sat there with my own arms around me sobbing quietly in frustration at the unfairness of it all. What should have been a satisfying moment of pleasure was instead a cruel reminder of my unfulfilled desires.
