Deployment 1

I apologize for taking so long to submit this part. I had a special project to do at work that had me working close to 80 hours a week and took me away from home (I wonder there is a cheating wife story in there somewhere). Anyway, I have had a chance to read the comments but I can surmise by the score that it wasn't as well received as I would have liked. If I come up with another story, I will try to do better. Thanks for reading.

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"Don't worry ET2 Morrison. This divorce will be easy. You don't have any assets to fight over. Being that you are in the Navy and don't have anyone in San Diego to care for your daughter when you leave with ships movement, you will more than likely relinquish custody to your wife. The standard amount will be apart from your paycheck and given to her for spousal compensation. Other than that, there is really nothing to battle over. Do you have any questions?"

Fuck yeah I have questions. Why am I paying the lying cunt who cheated on me? Why does she automatically get custody? What the fuck did I do to deserve the shitstorm that my life has become? And how the fuck can you call this an easy divorce?

I asked none of these questions of course. They were futile, rhetorical questions that were only a means of venting. I already knew the answer to these questions. The military deals with divorce so much that is has become standard policy. Nothing more than the planned maintenance that I do on my equipment.

The JAG officer that had prepared the paperwork sat there behind her desk, impatiently looking me over. She seemed disturbingly detached from the emotional weight that was contained in these documents. My life was being ripped away from me bit by bit. So what? For her, it was Tuesday. Wiping tears from my eyes, I signed the paper and left abruptly.

Now here I sit at my ship with the signed documents in my hand. Now you know how I got to be here. If you recall, this is where I began this story. In my hands I have tangible proof that I am a statistic of the Navy. One of the 50% who end up a divorced, woman hating whoremonger.

I'm sure that Alicia was looking at the same proof, elated that she can move forward with her wonderful life. She and "Mr. Mike" can try to replace me. Fuck them both.

Things moved relatively quickly in my life after that. My contract with the Navy was almost up and I had to make a decision to re-enlist or not. Last year that would have been a difficult decision. I love the Navy, I love serving my country, but it takes me away from my family. This year, however, the decision was almost immediate. There was no way I could re-enlist. I was just getting to know my daughter and I don't think we would survive another year with me at sea. Hell, look what happened last time I went away. Besides that, I had to show her that I was going to be here. She needed some stability.

So I prepared to get out of the Navy with an Honorable Discharge. I did my medical, eye, and dental screening. I went through all of the classes on transitioning into a civilian. I learned about a resume and job interviews (seems silly, but I'd never done either of these things. I joined at 19). I learned about college applications. I did the preparation to access the college money that was promised to me when I joined the navy. I was actually excited about becoming a civilian.

After my Honorable Discharge, I went to school for Computer Engineering. I was now a full time student. Because of the rigorous Navy schooling that I went through, college was surprisingly easy. Also, I got to skip a lot of classes because my training satisfied those courses. A four year Bachelor's Degree was finished in a little under 3.

While in school, I was able to get an Entry level job at a Security Company. It didn't pay much right off of the bat, but the position that I got was a stepping stone. A navy head hunter put me in touch with another ex-Navy guy. My new boss was an old Salty Sailor back in the Desert Storm days, and he took an immediate liking to me. Because of my experience and professionalism, Bernie scooped me up after the first interview. The fact that I didn't have a degree yet didn't phase him one bit.

Meeting him was like Kismet. I can say that he was just what I needed at that time in my life. I figured that the universe was trying to compensate for the laughing stock that my life had become.

Between work and school, I had precious little free time. What I could squeeze out, I spent with the kid. We were past the part in our relationship where I had to entertain her whenever we were together. She was happy just sitting in my apartment and watching cartoons.

I couldn't afford an apartment by myself (Child support, Alimony), so I had a roommate. Not the best situation, because my roommate was a bit of a slob. He rarely cleaned his dishes, and he almost never cleaned the shower. Still, he was quiet, didn't party, and worked long hours. So while the situation wasn't paradise, I could've been worse. Besides that, it was a temporary fix. Once done with college, Bernie promised a promotion with a much higher payday. With that living on my own and paying Alicia would be easy. Silver lining.

Though my life was moving along quite nicely, my heart wasn't. I still felt the heart ache whenever I saw someone that looked like her. If I heard a song on the radio that I knew she liked, my eyes would burn. I couldn't even watch television. Commercials that we laughed at, shows that we watched, movies that we enjoyed, all of those things became taboo.

I had the first awkward encounter with "Mr. Mike" one day. I had to pick Savannah up so that she could stay the night with me. I laid eyes upon him for the first time and had to mentally stop myself from lacing my fingers around his throat.

Alicia let me into the apartment and I was greeted to the sight of this Asshat sitting in my used-to-be-favorite chair sipping a cold one and watching the game. Does anything prepare your heart for that? He looked absolutely at home, like he did this every day. Alicia was fluttering around the kitchen like the good little housewife. They looked so fucking cozy that I wanted to set fire to the whole place and lock them inside.

If I caught them with his dick in her throat, it wouldn't have hurt as bad as seeing them looking like an everyday family. If I were a stranger, I would have assumed that these two shared a last name. There was no trace of me in this picture.

I held it together though. I bit my tongue and didn't lash out. Even when the asshole tried to shake my hand, I didn't lose it. Yeah, you heard me right. HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO SHAKE MY HAND! Like we were casually meeting through a mutual friend. "Hey man. Nice to finally meet you. Heard so much about you. Your wife is a real alley cat in bed! Am I right?"

Of course the asshole didn't say that, but he might as well have. Though I was being calm, I was not going to shake this asshole's hand. I stood there and looked him in the eye with a blank expression that let him know that I would rather fuck myself with a spiked dildo than grab that hand. A few very awkward seconds passed as he stood there with his hand outstretched. Finally he cleared his throat, slinked away, and re-planted himself in my used-to-be favorite chair like a good little boy. Only then did I realize that my fist were clinched in tight balls.

Yeah, fun times.

Fast forward 3+ years, I graduated with a 3.6. Bernie was there sitting next to his wife and my now 12 year old daughter, who looked completely bored. She perked up when my name was called, and screamed the loudest when I walked across stage. I looked at her smiling face and waved. This was my new family.

Around this time, the hole in my heart had scabbed over some. I wasn't exactly friendly toward Alicia and her beau, but I didn't have a homicidal urge anymore every time I saw them together.

Plus, I had a little vindication in the form of Savannah. By now she was blaming Mr. Wonderful Dad Mike for breaking up her family. I didn't poison her mind, I swear to God. She was just acting out towards him and Alicia. They had one incident in which she screamed at him, "You are not my DAD!"

I'm not gonna lie. That may have been the happiest moment in all of this nonsense. I know, I know. I'm supposed to be the adult and tell my daughter that it isn't right to talk to another adult that way. Yeah yeah yeah. Fuck them.

I wish that I could tell you guys that I had a harem of beautiful supermodels at my sexual disposal that sang my praises about the endless pleasure that I gave them as I tried each position of the Kama Sutra. Sadly enough, my love life was flatlined.

It wasn't that I was ugly or out of shape. On the contrary, I worked out 4 times a week and considered myself good looking. I wasn't shy or awkward. I knew how to talk to a woman. Sadly enough, I just wasn't interested. Say what you will, but when the only woman you love rejects you, you tend to not think of yourself as relationship material. I did have a couple of short flings that ended in up in bed. But to be honest, the player lifestyle isn't for me. I wasn't planning on giving my heart to anyone, and sex with no connection isn't worth it to me. Besides that, I didn't want to parade a slew of girls in front of my daughter. She was suffering enough and didn't need to see that.

So I have to admit, embarrassingly enough, that my only sexual companion was my computer and a tube of Vaseline. Hey, I'm just being honest.

So here we are at the 5th year of my divorce. It is also close to Savannah's 14th birthday. Alicia had planned a party with all of Savannah's friends. She wanted to rent out the skating rink and have the party there.

"Jason, I really need your help. I want this party to be special but I can't do it alone."

"Why don't you ask "Mr. Mike for help?"

Okay, I know it was a low blow, especially after all of this time. I didn't hate her anymore, but I still had a little bit of ire there. What she said next blew me away.

"Mike is no longer in the picture." She said it so casually that I almost missed it. But when I looked into her eyes I saw them welling up.

"Oh"

What else is there to say? I'm sorry? Because I wasn't. Time heals all wounds? Yeah, a long time. The sun will shine tomorrow? Only after a life altering hurricane of shit.

"Okay Alicia. I'll help you"

What can I say? I felt bad for her. I'm not a complete monster. She was still the mother of my kid.

So we sat together for the first time in 5 years and made preparations for this party. It was surprisingly easy and familiar, even after all this time. Was it like old times? A little. Was I harboring illicit thoughts of sweaty, screaming sex? Not on your life. But for the first time, I found that I could talk to her without taking cheap shots at her. I believe that was the first moment that I forgave her.

I had a slight curiosity as to the reason for the break-up of the happy couple. I didn't ask her though. For one, it seemed like bad taste. I didn't want to appear to be gloating. On the other hand, I thought that asking would put us in a friendlier category. I wasn't ready to be anything to her but co-parents to our daughter. If she needed a friend, I wasn't going to volunteer. I had to find my way back from the abyss alone. She can do the same.

Finally, we had Savannah's party planned to a T. I had my marching orders and she had hers. I was on my way out.

"Thanks Jason. We still make a good team."

"When it comes to Savannah, yeah we do." I don't know why I felt the need to throw that in. I guess I just wanted to make sure that my line in the sand hadn't been crossed.

I saw a flash of regret cross her face, but she recovered quickly. "Call me when you finish your list."

"Absolutely. You can count on me." I said before realizing it. I mentally kicked myself for opening that door up. She walked right through.

"I always could." With that she closed the door, leaving me on the front stoop with a look of confusion.

Get it together Jason. What the fuck was that?

Savannah's party went off without a hitch. She and her friends had a blast. They skated, they fell, they giggled, they got back up and did it all over again. There was cake, there were presents, there were games. The smile on her face was worth it.

Alicia and I sat back and watched the chaos. I was alternating between enjoying the smile on Savannah's face and silently stalking the boy who kept finding ways to be close to her. He obviously had her enamored. They talked in quiet corners whenever they had the chance and even held hands out on the rink. Alicia had to physically grab my arm a couple of times to stop me from running over there and implementing a "two feet" rule.

"Did you ever think we would be here watching our daughter together?" She asked wistfully. Knowing where this conversation was likely headed, I pretended like I didn't hear her. Memory road was paved with just as many landmines as good memories, and I did not have a desire to encounter either.

She didn't repeat her question. She just looked over at Savannah with a distant smile on her face. I knew that her mind was not in this rink, but I didn't bring her back here.

After the party was over, the kids made their way off toward their rides home. In the corner, I saw that snaky little asshole sneak a kiss from my daughter when they thought that the coast was clear. It was quick though. It was over in a few seconds, and I didn't see any jaw movement that indicated any tongue action. She would be definitely hearing about this later, but for now no harm was done.

As the last of the kids was carted off, I kissed my daughter goodnight and gave her the present that I set aside for her. I told her to open it when she got home. Alicia waved to me as I pulled off in my car.

Later on that night, I got a call from my daughter. "Daddy, I love it! Thank you!" She screamed in my ear. She was talking about the gold locket that I bought her. It was in the shape of a heart. On the inside was a picture of her and i. It was taken at an amusement park that we went to. On the back was the small inscription that said, "The one who holds my heart".

"You're welcome Banana."

I was relieved that she liked it. I thought it was a bit cheesy and cliché, but I wanted something special for her from me. I needed her to always have a reminder that I would always be here for her. Always.

Later on that night, or early the next morning rather, I got another call. This time it was Alicia.

"Hey Jace! Whatcha doing? Her voice was slurred. I looked at the clock and saw that it wasn't even 2.

"What's wrong Alicia? Are you drunk?"

I heard sniffling coming from the other end. "A little."

Fuck. I had drunken phone calls. They never make any sense and always wind up being a waste of time.

"Maybe you need to go to sleep Alicia. You sound like you've had one too many. You probably are in for a lot of pain tomorrow."

"I'm ALREADY in a lot of pain Jace. Why didn't you love me? Why couldn't you FIGHT for me? Why did you let me go off with another man when you KNEW I was still in love with you?"

I sat there stunned. What was she saying? I let her go? Why didn't I love her? Was she serious?

"Alicia, go to bed. Don't call me again until you're sober."

I sat at work the next day going over the disturbing call that I got. I knew that it was time for another talk with Alicia. I'd avoided it and cowered away from it. Things were in a good place right now and I didn't want to rock the boat. My daughter was turning into a beautiful young woman. I was exceptionally good at my job. I was making good money. The pain that I'd felt for so long was just about gone. Why now?

As much as I would've loved to keep skirting around the issues, I had to confront her. I couldn't keep getting early morning wake-up calls. The little hints that Alicia has thrown at me indicating that she is now feeling regret were going to keep coming my way until I nipped it in the bud.

So I called her and invited her to Tony's for a slice of pizza. Hell, this seemed to be the setting for our uncomfortable conversations. I hadn't set foot in there since we talked when I first moved out. If felt kind of fitting that we would return to this place for another conversation.

When she walked in I must admit that she looked good. She definitely dressed to impress. Alicia was never a seductive dresser, but she knew what clothes would bring out her assets without advertising to the world that she was a slut.

"Hey Jace." She said with a broad smile on her face as she sat down. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Once we ordered, we settled in for our talk. We started off with shallow conversation about how much Savannah enjoyed the party and how much she is growing up. When I had enough of that, I started the difficult part.

"So, about that phone call..."

"I'm sorry about that Jace. I just got a little drunk after Savannah went to bed. I didn't mean to drunk dial you."

"Do you remember what you said when you called." The embarrassed look on her face let me know that she had some recollection.

"What was that about?"

She fidgeted in her seat and wrung her fingers. The pizza arrived and cut the tension some. Once the waiter was out of ear range, she began to explain.

"I've just been taking stock of my life lately. Me, you, Mike, Savannah, the divorce, San Diego. I've just been trying to figure out how I got here."

She took a sip of her Dr. Pepper to wet her throat. "When me and you were planning Savannah's party, it just felt so familiar. So right. I just realized that I missed you more than I knew."

"Alicia, you're just lonely because you broke up with Mike. Whatever he did to you made you vulnerable. Whenever someone breaks your heart you just want something familiar to make you feel safe again. Trust me I know." Even before I finished what I was saying she was shaking her head vigorously.

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand Alicia."

"Mike didn't break my heart. I broke his." Before I knew it my mouth got ahead of my brain.

"GODDAMMIT Alicia! Did you cheat on him too?"

I had to practically chase her down before she was out of the door. She burst into tears and almost made it to her car before I caught her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. C'mon, come back in and let's sit down."

Once we were back inside I noticed that the entire restaurant was curiously looking at us. It was like Déjà vu all over again (Yogi Bear reference). I had a flash of our last encounter in this restaurant. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Once I got her to stop crying we lowered our voices. We didn't want our new audience to know ALL of our business.

"Mike proposed to me." Wow. Even though I was past the hurt and the pain, that revelation still hit me in the gut.

"When he got down on one knee I almost ran away in panic. I knew that I couldn't marry him."

"Why not?"

"Because I was still in love with another man."

Time clicked by slowly as her words sank in. Neither of us made a sound. The silence went from still, to awkward, to unbearable.

"I don't understand."

"Yes you do Jace."

For some reason, my brain clouded with anger. The years of hurt and torment came rushing back to me like a tsunami. I couldn't breathe in this stuffy restaurant. I jumped up and bolted for the door. This time it was she who chased me down.

"Jace, we have to talk about this."

"GODDAMMIT ALICIA! STOP CALLING ME JACE!"

My outburst stunned her into silence. She looked at me blankly. Her mouth moved a couple of times, as if they were trying to say something. She got nothing out though. I did not share her inability to talk.