"Soup's on the stove, hon," Christa sang as I emerged from the garage to a busy kitchen. "Help yourself."
Just the thing for a cool October morning, not quite lunch.
"I made some grilled cheese sandwiches," Christa said, and she drifted by, laundry in one hand, Tonka truck in the other. "I'd stop to eat with you, but as you can see...," and she was gone.
I washed up in the kitchen sink while Chris wasn't looking. What she didn't know, and all. Five layers of grease from the car, plus some metal shavings and rash from the bench grinder. The price of home projects. I was careful not to bleed on her hand towels and settled at the table for a snack.
Chris blew by, opposite direction, empty laundry basket and a pair of my shoes. I had no idea where those were headed. "Soup good?" she asked, but wasn't there to hear the reply. She reminded me of a freight train with just a few cars and a lot of speed. No stepping in her path.
There was a time. Just before we married until about a year after, there was a time when I'd have stepped in her path, swept her off her feet, dragged her to bed without a hint of complaint on her part. We were in love. New. Fresh. Not like now.
Chris passed again and I caught her wrist, pulled her close by the waist, kissed her belly because sitting, I only came up past her waist, and she was gone. Not even the lips. That's where we'd ended up: the comfort of a married graveyard, where passion didn't so much go to die as it sunk into a comfortable quicksand and didn't ever move again.
"How's the car coming?" She called over her shoulder.
"Okay," I replied. "New battery, changed the starter motor and brakes. Got the oil draining, and I'm throwing an alternator on it, while I'm there, along with belts." I always did belts if I had to pull anything attached to them. Water pump, compressor, alternator, power steering. Belts were cheap insurance. Never had one break.
"Thanks honey," Christa stopped on the next pass for a real kiss. She didn't offer a tongue.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Stuff," she replied. "Always short two hands and an hour. Or is it two hours and a hand? I can't ever remember."
"What time do the kids get home?" I asked.
"Three," she said, as though I should know. I should, if I didn't work late every night.
That left two hours. "Wanna fool around?" I asked.
Chris rolled her eyes. "Oh, how would it be, to have the time?"
"Let's find out," I suggested. "Let's make some time."
"Time I take now is stuff I make up when the kids get home. That's stress, hon," she said. "What did you have in mind."
"Something that won't take a lot of time?" I suggested.
"That's easy," she replied. "You should be done in five minutes, right?"
I reddened a bit at her dig, but what do the sailors say? Any port in a storm? "Tops," I replied.
"Gotta make it worth my time, sailor. Five minutes isn't romance, or much of a warm-up."
"Ten?" I suggested.
"Hmmm. I wanna see you at full mast," she grinned. "You float my boat, and maybe I'll blow your sails."
"Hard rudder amidships, hon. I'll go down bubble three degrees, then put a torpedo in the water."
"Oh, you know how to talk to a girl," Chris said. "You know all the right things. Fine. Sink my battleship."
We didn't often do innuendo or sex banter. We'd gotten far too comfortable, far too soon in our marriage. I thought so, anyway. If we went to counseling, Chris would have been all about me not listening enough, and I'd have been the stereotypical not-enough-sex guy. We had it, infrequently, but I never seemed to blow up her skirt, and she never seemed a tempest. Not anymore. We needed some spark.
"Maybe we can play a game," I said. I didn't have a game plan in mind.
"Like what?" Christa called my bluff.
Think fast, Mark. "Ah, well, how about you be the bored housewife, and I'll be the delivery guy with a big package."
"Do you have a big package for me?" Chris asked.
I sighed. Was it too late to throw in a reference to motion of the ocean and downplay the size of the boat? "Gotta sign for it, to see," I shot back.
"If we're gonna do this," Chris said, "we better get on with it. I need to shower."
"Please don't," I said.
"Hmmm. Then you need to shower. You're not coming in from the garage and getting on me," she said. "I need to change.
"Tell you what," I offered. "Just answer the doorbell in fifteen minutes."
Christa studied me for a moment, a crinkle at the corner of her eye beneath an arched brow, and the slightest hint of a smile at the corners of her upturned lips. "Deal," she said. "Now go, degrease."
Christa disappeared upstairs and I hit the guest bath below. No sense spoiling the game by sharing the same space while we readied. Truth be, we didn't do role playing, but I couldn't think of anything else, so I made a hail-mary, and Christa caught it. I managed to pull off a shower and shave in record time and find a summer coverall in the hall closet to slip on, commando beneath. I shuffled out the front door, thankful our quiet street bore no peering eyes. I waited a few minutes, and rang the bell. I nearly rang again, when Chris latched the chain, and opened the door a crack.
"Yes?" she said.
"Ma'am? I have a delivery for Mrs. Christina Sebastian. Is she home?" I tried to sound professional.
"Do you have some ID?" she asked.
"I'm sorry, I don't, but if you can let me inside, perhaps I can convince you who I am," I replied.
"I suppose it won't hurt, but don't take long. My husband will be home soon."
"Don't worry," I said, "I'll be fast."
"Not too fast," Christa replied. "If I wanted fast, I'd wait for my husband."
I reddened again as Chris opened the door and I slipped inside. While I'd improvised a costume, Christ wore a pink teddy with lace and a snap-crotch, one I bought her two anniversaries ago. It fit well, albeit perhaps a tad small. French-cut, it was far more lace than solid, designed to tease. It worked.
"What did you bring me today?" my wife asked.
"I brought a package for you," I said. I wished I'd grabbed a clipboard, and perhaps a box.
"Is it a big one?" She glanced at my waist. Without anything to restrain me, my eagerness showed.
"I can't say, ma'am. I have to apologize, though. I spilled something on my uniform," I said, not entirely untrue. The jumpsuit was thin, and I feared I might leak through.
"Maybe you should take it off, then," Chris said. "I'll have my husband clean it up for you." I wasn't sure I heard her right. That sounded like a shot across my bow.
"Can you sign for it?" I asked.
"Maybe," Chris replied. "I'll have to see if it's damaged, first. It better be worth my while." She unzipped my coverall and my cock flopped out, as majestic as it was going to get. Her face flashed with anticlimax. "It's definitely bigger than my husband's," she said, dimples betraying her smile as a droplet appeared at my dickhead. "You like hearing that, I see."