Delights in Time

In this section, Roz tries to stop her affair with Ted but he doesn't stop willingly. Roz continues on hoping that things will get better with Reese. But Reese has other ideas.

Thanks to Angel Love for her comments, suggestions and editing. She is an inspiration for me.

Part 2

Without anyone knowing what she was doing, Roz made an appointment with a woman psychologist she knew. She went to her first visit the following Friday and decided to lay it all out for her. She wanted to find out what was wrong and she decided that she had to be brutally honest, so she described her feelings, the first meeting in Chicago and the next two meetings here in Springfield. She was honest about how she felt and her lack of satisfaction. She also mentioned Reese's indifference lately. She talked for almost 40 minutes and felt exhausted and empty when she finished.

Since it was late the psychologist, Mrs. Fenton, asked her to come back the following Monday. She said she wanted to do some tests and ask more questions but she thought she had some ideas already. Roz left feeling hopeful but reserved. Her life was in a mess now and she was going to need more than ideas to make things right. She had to start with her home life. And getting rid of Ted.

As if on cue, her cell phone rang. It was Ted! He was going to be in town Monday morning and wanted to see her. He had no meetings planned so they could take their time and he would make things up to her after the last time. She accepted, but only to end it. She didn't tell Ted this, but only agreed to meet him. She hung up with a satisfied sigh. This was the perfect way to begin.

The weekend with Reese and the girls was quiet and Reese was still withdrawn and out of sorts. She tried several times to engage him in conversation but he avoided her. At night, she waited but he never came upstairs to their bedroom so she was left alone and wondering. She tried to keep things light and open and herself available but nothing changed. She rode it out, hoping that next week would see some changes in her and hopefully in Reese.

That Monday, Roz met Ted at the hotel as planned. She was sure he was not going to like what she had to say but it was over. She couldn't do this anymore and he had to accept it. He had to know how she felt since the last time was a disaster. Not only did she not have a climax, he had not even been able to make her wet. He had to force her to even get it in, and the fucking itself was pathetic. It was his fault, she knew, but the guilt and the resulting pain was so intense that she was unable to become aroused. Ted would just have to accept it and move on.

Roz knocked on the door and waited. Ted opened it with a smile and beckoned her inside. He closed the door behind her and she felt his hands on her shoulders.

"Ted, please stop. I just came here today to tell you that it's over. We're through and I won't meet you again. I hope you understand and accept it. Alright?"

"What do you mean it's over? You're here so let's get it on. I'm ready to play and you're my plaything. Let's rock and roll!"

"No. Ted, I'm serious. We're through and that's it. I wanted to tell you face to face so there's no misunderstanding. No more."

"But why? Nothing's changed for me. I thought you liked it and wanted more. What's happened?"

"Nothing happened. I just don't want to do this anymore. It's wrong and I'm sick to death of it. I have to live with my cheating on Reese now and that's going to be hard. I just want it done with."

"Why don't you come over her and let me make you feel good. You know you like what I do for you. Right?"

"Please, Ted. This has been fun all right: fun for you. It's been a real downer for me. I haven't cum once with you except when you used your hand. The last time, you couldn't even make me wet. Remember?"

"That's bull! Come here. Let me show you."

"Stop it Ted. That's it. I'm leaving now and I don't want to see or hear from you again. Talk to Sabrina the next time you need to stop in. Goodbye."

As she turned to walk away, Ted grabbed her from behind, gripping her shoulders as he shoved her against the wall. He pulled on her skirt from behind and forced it down around her ankles. She was trying to fight him by kicking back, hoping to catch him someplace vital but he was too quick for her. He grabbed her by the wrists and held her arms above her head with one hand while he slammed the other across her mouth as she was about to scream, stopping any sounds.

"You'd better stop struggling and making a fuss bitch cause if you don't, I'm going to tell your old man. You've been teasing me for the past month and I'm going to collect before you walk out of here."

She still continued to try to get free but she kept her mouth shut. She knew Ted would carry through on his threat. She was still trying to kick him when she felt him push his cock against her panty covered ass. She wasn't even aware of him having unzipped his pants while she was fighting him. She wasn't going to let him do that and she increased her struggles but to no avail. He used his weight to hold her against the wall while her panties were shoved roughly aside. She felt him penetrate her pussy as he jammed her tighter against the wall. At least he didn't try to get it in her ass.

As Ted pumped away from behind while she was crushed helplessly against the wall of the room, Roz thought that this was the culmination of her humiliation. This was what she deserved! To be raped by the man she cheated on her husband with and not for the first time. She was stupid enough to believe he was a decent man and would listen to her when she told him it was over. She couldn't even shed a tear as he fucked her for the last time as though she were a common whore.

Ted was grunting as he plowed into her and his pace was simply fast and hard. This was brutal rape, pure and simple and she had to endure it. Ted finally gave a shout and shot his load inside her. He pushed once, very hard and then held himself still as his cock pulsed inside her. It seemed to go on forever as she pressed her face to the wall, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. He finally moved back with a sigh and let her go. She slid to the floor in shame.

"Roz, you always were a great fuck. Too bad it's over. I know this is just between us now so I'll leave you alone as you asked. Now, why don't you get yourself cleaned up and get the fuck out of here."

Roz stood up, pulled her skirt back up and straightened her clothing as well as she could. She looked once at Ted and saw nothing but his smirk. Nothing else. She turned and walked out the door without another word. Ted yelled something as she left but she didn't hear him and didn't care anyway. This disgusting part of her life was over and not a minute too soon.

She ran down the single flight of stairs to her car. As she flew through the back door of the hotel, she almost ran into a woman just entering. Roz glanced at her without recognition but her tears made everything a blur and she quickly dismissed her. She sat in her car for some time, trying to calm down and get some degree of control over herself. Her initial excitement with Ted was long gone, replaced by shame and humiliation. That elusive something missing in her life was no longer important. What she had to do now was to find some way of recovering her life, the one that she had forgotten about for too long. Hopefully, Mrs. Fenton would tell her how to begin to make things right. With a sigh, she drove home, not noticing the car that followed her all the way.

She entered the home that she had shared with Reese for the last 12 years to clean another man's cum from her cheating body before he or the girls came home. She stayed in the shower for over 30 minutes, just crying and wondering how in the world she could have fallen to such a low. She didn't seem to be able to get clean and wondered if she ever would again. Finally, she dressed for her session with June Fenton.

Her meeting that afternoon with Mrs. Fenton, or June as she was instructed to call her was not very productive. First she decided not to tell her of that afternoon and the rape. Then, June wanted to ask a lot of questions and she hardly referred to the things that Roz had told her last week. Each time Roz mentioned something, June listened but told her not to be too anxious. They would deal with things in their time. Roz finally settled back in defeat and answered the questions that June asked. She saw little sense to most of them but June appeared to be quiet happy.

As their session came to an end, June wrote her a prescription for an antidepressant and told her to begin taking them that evening with dinner. She explained that Roz was clinically depressed and had been for some time. These pills should help make things a little easier and give them time to work on correcting the underlying causes. Roz promised to begin right away and they made an appointment to meet twice a week, beginning that Wednesday. Roz left feeling somewhat more hopeful and stopped to fill the prescription. The pills were called Zoloft and June told her that they had few side effects and not to worry.

Over the next few weeks, she took her pills, went to her sessions and she stayed home in the evenings and spent as much time with Jacey and Jada as she could. Sabrina had the business under control and she told Roz to spend the time with her family. As she did, she noticed something gradually growing in her. It was the love of her daughters and their joy in everything they said and did. She had forgotten all of that for a time and found herself beginning to relate to them again. She began to notice what they were doing and who they were seeing and where they were going and she watched as they took it all in stride and enjoyed it all. She found herself enjoying it with them. It was all so simple. Just live and enjoy what you had. She found that she was less and less unhappy and woke one morning surprised to find that empty place she had been trying to fill, mostly full. Only her relationship with Reese was a problem and that was the last missing piece.

She waited one evening after the girls had gone to their rooms for the night before walking into his den. He had been spending almost all of his time in the evenings in there. As she walked in, she saw him dozing in his chair, the TV on low and tuned to a sports channel. She walked over to the chair across from him that she often used, sat and just watched him. She took in his hair, noticing more gray than she had in the past. She looked at the face she had lived with for over 17 years and was surprised to find some fine lines: new and somehow attractive. She saw that he had lost some of his belly recently and wondered how. She saw the man that she loved and wondered again why she had forgotten that. He was enough for her: more than enough. He made love to her, he did for her, he was always there for her and he was all that she could ask for. He was enough. Why had it taken her so long to realize that.

Without waking him, she left the room and went to their bedroom. She realized that they hadn't made love since the Sunday night before she went to the seminar. That had been over 12 weeks now. She tried to remember the last time either had suggested it and found to her surprise that Reese hadn't since that night. She had tried on several occasions but Reese had found some excuse. Why had she not noticed that before this? Why had Reese not come to her? Why had he not wanted to make love to her? She had no answers and that scared her. Scared her to death. She undressed slowly and crawled under the covers. She began to cry to herself as she remembered again what she had done. As she slowly calmed down, she began to drift off to sleep. The last thought she had was: what if he knew?

As things continued without change, she tried to find the passion and love that she used to feel and tried to rebuild their love life. The problem was that every time she prepared to make the suggestion to Reese, she felt the guilt and deceit sour her intention leaving her unable to make the overture. As a result, she remained unavailable to Reese, in part because he never initiated it himself. She wondered what was going to happen to them if things continued this way. So many nights she cried herself to sleep knowing that Reese was still downstairs in his den, avoiding her.

Time passed and things remained the same. She was making little progress with her sessions and she had stopped taking the pills since they made her so very tired. One good thing was that she and the girls had completely returned to their previous relationship and she found herself more and more comfortable with them. They were again mother and daughters and they shared many things. If only she could find the key to her life with Reese.

Roz had been working at the kitchen table on a new menu for an upcoming catering job when Reese came in to get a beer. He had been working in the den for the past hour. Roz thought he seemed tired and distracted recently, but that was nothing new. As VP of Hadley Controls, his job often carried an extra burden when the customer needed the compliance work done quickly in order to gain a permit.

"You look tired honey. Why don't you give it a rest tonight and work on it with a fresh eye tomorrow? I can fix you a snack and we can take it out on the deck. I think the girls are out of the pool so it would just be you and I and a bunch of munchies. How about it?"

"I know Roz, but I have to get this damn thing done so that Harrison and crew can take the plan up to Chicago next week. If I don't do it now, it won't get done. Phil is on vacation for the rest of the week to attend his daughter's wedding so its me or nobody."

Roz just shook her head in frustration but tried to give it another shot.

"Still, an hour off won't make or break the deal. Come on out on the deck and bring your beer with you."

Reese looked for a minute as though he might take her up on her offer, but instead just grimaced and shook his head no. He took his beer and walked back to the den, leaving her to return to her menu. Not surprised, she watched him go. He had been avoiding her more and more lately. She was unsure of herself so she hadn't made it a point to talk to him. She decided to let it go and wait till he seemed ready to talk.

For his part, Reese wanted to take the time with her but this job was too important to let slide. He knew that he was avoiding the inevitable but he just didn't have the will to do it now. How long he could let it go was the question. It had been over three months now. It had to be dealt with soon or it was going to eat him alive. For the hundredth time, he decided to postpone it until this job was finished. Everything was in place and all he had to do was sign the papers. Then he would do it, for sure.

Roz on the other hand, couldn't figure out the recent coldness in Reese. He had been this way now since she had returned from the seminar in Chicago, and she had no idea of what could be bothering him. She was spending more time at home and she hadn't worked any evenings at all. She had tried everything she could think of to get him to talk to her, but this was usually the result. She wouldn't face the possibility that he knew about her. How could he live with her if he knew. She knew that he wouldn't accept what she had done. He couldn't. They had that conversation so many times in the past and both had agreed that infidelity wasn't something that either could accept. Again she asked herself, how then had she done it? She couldn't even begin to understand what she had been going through at the time, only that it seemed important that she find something to fill her up. Ruth seemed to be avoiding that question, saying it was too soon to find those answers.

Nothing changed for the next three weeks until one night Reese came home from work with a new attitude. When Roz noticed the change, she wondered about it until finally after the girls had gone to bed, she could stand it no more. She followed him into the family room and sat down across from him.

"All right Reese. What's going on? I know something is different but I don't know what."

Reese looked at her, face calm and a slight smile on his face. She noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Well, several things, Roz. First, I finished the job and all compliance requirements were met on time and to the satisfaction of the client. I turned every thing over to Phil last week and I resigned, effective today."

"Reese! You resigned? Finally? I am so happy that you finally did it. You must feel wonderful. Congratulations honey."

"Thanks. I do feel great. And it has been some time coming. I was the last of the big four to resign. Don't know why it took so long. But now it's done."

"What else? You said there were several things." Roz was beginning to relax a little, since apparently this was going to be good news. She began to smile.

"Well, this one is something that I have been putting off for a while, but now it's time. Tomorrow, you'll be served with divorce papers. I signed them today and copies have been filed with the court. You will find yourself well taken care of, but the terms will not necessarily make you happy."

The shock was so great that she was unable to even blink for several seconds. She felt the blood rush to her head and the roaring in her ears was so loud she missed all of what he said after 'divorce papers'. She felt sick to her stomach and her heart was pounding so loud Reese had to hear it. She tried to focus on his face but her eyes were unable to see. She was having trouble breathing and her breath was coming in short gasps. She finally heard a sound, like a high pitched keening coming from somewhere before realizing it came from her.

Reese was watching her face as he told her of his intent and he knew the precise moment when she lost control. He watched her eyes as they literally glazed over. She was gasping for breath and she was making a low sound that irritated him. He stopped talking since she obviously wasn't listening, stood and walked into the den. There was no pity for her in him now: she had driven it all out.

She was still sitting there some time later when she was finally able to make sense of her surroundings. Reese had apparently left sometime during her fugue. She slowly got up from her chair and went in search of Reese. She finally found him in his den, sitting in his favorite chair and listening to a recording of Enya. She walked over to the chair across the room from him and sat down heavily.

"Can you tell me why you are doing this? What do you know and what are your reasons?"

"You must know that having an affair with Ted Hill was not going to be acceptable to me. Why would you not expect me to divorce you over that? We both understood the vows we made and we discussed them several times. You broke them. That's number 1."

"How long have you known? If you knew about it, you must know that it was very short and that it has been over for months. Why now? Why did you wait, leaving me in misery wondering when or if you would find out?"

"Initially I was waiting for you to confess to me and to ask me if we could work it out. As time went on, I realized that you were continuing with your affair and were not going to be honest with me so I had to do something. Divorce was not something I wanted to do. I think I still love you even now, but I needed the time to try to accept what you did. I found that I just couldn't. I waited, hoping I could find some way to forgive you but I just wasn't able to. Divorce is the only way for me."

"Reese, I am so sorry for what I did, but you have to know that it was just a brief, stupid mistake in what have been 17 wonderful years. I made a mistake but it's over. It meant nothing and it can never happen again. I want you to listen to me and I want to try to explain why I did what I did. I need for you to understand. Please, Reese, I need to tell you."