Be warned! Nobody cheats, turns gay, or gets beat up. It's just a harmless bit of fluff.
I'm not gonna tell you how I came up with this.
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"Honey, will you help me defrost the freezer?"
Damn, damn, damn. I hated that fucking freezer, I always had. I was just sitting down to check on Literotica, hoping for a new story by StangStar06, DG Hear, Just Plain Bob, Magmaman, DanielQSteel1, Rehnquist, or any of the many other excellent writers on the site. But no, instead of stories of beautiful, big breasted women with huge trust funds being seduced by average guys or studly super rich lawyers/writers/ musicians/business magnates, wooing Plain Janes who turn out to be, behind those thick glasses and frumpy clothes, you guessed it, both beautiful and big breasted, I get to spend two hours with my head in a huge chest freezer chipping ice. Whoopee.
I had to help her, though. My wife is only 5'4" and has to stand on a step stool to reach into the bottom. I know, because one Saturday I came home from a round of golf to find her bent over trying to get a particularly stubborn chunk of ice out. Having had a beer or twelve, it didn't occur to me that with her head in the freezer she didn't hear me coming. The sight of her cute round butt sticking up in the air was too much for me, so I goosed it and yelled "Hi, honey, I'm home!". Bad mistake. She screamed, lost her balance, and tumbled into the freezer, managing to get soaked in freezing water.
Beer has always affected my sense of humor, and the sight of her sitting inside with just her head in view was , to me, hilarious. She didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did. Let's just say the freezer thawed out long before she did.
Sighing, I turned off the computer and went to get the coolers and buckets I would need to hold the frozen food while we cleaned the freezer.
Several times I had tried to get her to replace it. It was 26 years old and we had gotten good use out of it. My wife had an emotional attachment to it because it was the first new appliance we had purchased together. We lived in a rural area with a large garden space. She was from town and had no idea how to raise things. I was raised on a farm so I knew what I was getting into. She learned quickly, and to this day we always have a large garden. That's when she decided we needed a freezer, so we could save the beans, corn, etc. for winter eating and save on our food bills.
We were going to use our income tax refund, and while we waited for it she did her research. She felt we should get an upright, for economical use of space and ease of finding things. I basically didn't give a rat's ass but went along with what she wanted. She already had it picked out at Lowe's. The check came on Wednesday, so Saturday morning we were in our truck headed to town. She showed it to me and I made appropriate approving noises and got out the checkbook.
"Not yet, honey. Let's go have lunch first. I'm in the mood for Chinese."
Her favorite Chinese restaurant was all the way across town.
"If we were going for lunch, why didn't we go there first."
"Because, honey. I wanted you to see it first."
"Why, will it look any different in two hours?"
She just mumbled something about me in particular and men in general, and told me to get in the truck.
Halfway between Lowes and the restaurant was a Sears. This was before Sears relocated to the malls and still had stand alone stores. There was a big sign up front announcing all major appliances were 25% off.
"Stop honey, stop, stop! We might get a better deal."
I pulled in. We looked at the appliances, only difference I could see was the name on the front. Sandy and the salesman were deep into a discussion about cubic feet and basket space when I got bored and wandered over to the tools.
Fifteen minutes later she was waving me over.
"This is it, this is the one I want. Write the check, honey."
The one she wanted wasn't an upright. It was huge, a 24 cubic foot chest monster. Literally, it was big enough to hide the body in. That salesman was good, he could probably sell thermal underwear to Polynesians.
"I thought you wanted an upright? This is awful big, are you sure?"