My sincere apologies to mother-in-laws everywhere, they are not the monster portrayed in this story. In fact, I must have one of the sweetest mother-in-laws around.
There is no sex in this fictional tale.
*
Prologue:
Ahhh...everything is set...she thought. By the time he knows what hit him, it will too late and he will no longer be a part of this family then, my daughter will be can be with someone deserving of her. The woman looked down snatching the framed photograph of her daughter with that loser. She sneered as she thought...an engineer of all things. She could have married so much higher, someone with power and money unlike her father. Well, she'll have her chance yet again...whether she wants it or not.
The woman stared into the mirror and was astonished at the old personage looking back. She cringed at the wrinkles that adorned her once beautiful face, the gray that insidiously crept into the once lustrous blond hair. She turned away and smirked; no matter...her daughter will succeed where she failed. She just needed a little push.
Now that her two granddaughters were grown and out of the house, there was no longer reason to wait. It was time to take out the trash.
*************
"I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE, NOW!"
I calmly looked at my wife of twenty-two years and shook my head; she was still a knock out. Standing just under 5-11, her blond hair cascading over those sleek shoulders and slender waist, I always knew Dani had a temper, a lot like her 'fly off the handle—knee jerk reactive mother,' but normally she would have calmed down by now. I say normally with tongue in cheek. This time, she was pulling out all the stops.
"Ain't gonna happen, Dani. Now, you want to tell me what I did wrong this time?"
My wife stood there, her deep blue eyes radioactive with rage. "Don't give me that 'I'm innocent' routine. You know damn well what you did! I am not going to live with a liar and a cheat."
"That's good to hear, Dani...neither will I. What did your mother do this time?"
"My mother has nothing do to with this...you have humiliated me for the last time. Get out...GET OUT!"
"No," I said coolly. "This is my home and I am not going anywhere just because you say so. If you don't want to be with me or in the same house with me, then you can leave. As for me, I'm gonna grab a beer, go in to the family room, sit down and watch the ball game. You are more than welcome to watch the game with me. When you're ready to calmly discuss whatever heinous crime I've done, I'll be all ears."
Dani screamed a few unintelligible and several unmentionable phrases and I watched as those incredibly long and slender legs turned and stomped off to the bedroom. Seconds later, the house shook on its foundation when the bedroom door slammed shut followed by the metallic click as she locked the door. Like that would ever keep me out.
I kicked back in my favorite chair, an old moth-eaten green fabric Lazy Boy, smiled as I popped the tab on my beer hearing that distinctive hiss and switched on the cable. I know, you'd think I'd be upset or worried about whatever was jammed up Dani's ass but I fucking just didn't care. There was a time when I would have, when we first started dating and maybe the first couple of years of marriage, but not now.
After twenty-two plus years of her temper and indignation coupled with raising two wildcat daughters, I learned how to tune out irritating noise. I clicked on the game and grinned as Hunter snagged a high fly ball all the way to the back forty.
If you're wondering why I don't act upset, it's because...for the past month she's been a real shrew. Screaming like an Irish banshee was her current volume control. I wondered if McKenzie, Ralls and Forest, Inc. may have some onsite work needed out of country.
Between innings, I began speculating Dani's mother was behind this latest tirade, like she's been with most of the others. That woman has caused more heartache and trouble for my family than Sherman's march to the sea.
Dani's mom, Broomhilda, that's not really her name...it's Olivia, Olivia Matilda Dreyfuss , one woman I have never gotten along with...well, actually, she hates my guts and I really have no idea why. Usually, it's the father that has a problem with his daughter's boyfriends, fiancé and, eventually, husband but Dani's dad, Harvey, and I got along famously. But, her mother...given the opportunity, she'd hire a hit man.
I guess she always believed her 'baby' deserved better that settling on little ole me. Of course, I don't help much. After a decade of her shit, I began to give as much as I received, which didn't help my loving relationship with Dani but it always seem to put a smile on her father's normally cheerless face.
I started dating Dani just before graduating from Cal State. I had spent nearly four grueling years studying mechanical engineering; I wanted to build things like buildings, bridges and stuff. Dani was majoring in Dani taking nothing but general education and only those courses required by state. Dani was bright but she was no rocket scientist and was always the first to admit it. But, you had to admire that she at least believed in a strong education if not in a particular study. I first spied Dani in the University library. She was with two other drop dead gorgeous women and I was completely and hopelessly infatuated with her. And, I was completely and hopelessly unable to meet her.
When it came to exceptionally beautiful women, I always became tongue tied and a klutz. I had girlfriends in high school and during the first couple of years in Cal State and they were pretty but not stunning beauties like Dani and her entourage. Anytime I took a girl out, I would always make sure she had a good time.
Word got out I was a class act and any girl that went out with me never had to worry about compulsory bedroom gymnastics. I always made sure they felt comfortable with no further obligations; such as sex, though I did get my share...another reason for my sterling reputation.
I'm not a total smuck. Standing at six feet, 185 pounds dripping wet, my deep green eyes and black curly hair reflected my heritage. Because of my natural tan complexion, somewhere in the mix may be some Native American blood...who knows.
If my looks didn't give you a clue as to my ancestry, my name would...Michael Patrick O'Flynn, and was always called by my namesake, my grandfather, Michael. He was big Mike and, my five brothers and two of my three sisters always called me little Mike. Only my mother, father and Caitlyn, my closest sister, called me Patrick, after my mother's brother and my uncle, Patrick Cooley.
Patrick Sean Cooley died a month after I was born, killed in the line of duty trying to stop the robbery and rape of a young woman while serving the Los Angeles Police Department. Other than a few scrapes and bruises, the woman survived the assault but my uncle took two slugs to his chest. This was before Kevlar vests were required. The victim said my uncle was able to snap off three rounds killing the suspect as he was falling, two in the chest and one to the head.
In his honor, my mother and father always called me Patrick. My friends knew me as Pat. And, no...I didn't heed the call to protect and serve but I always maintained a deep appreciation for those wearing the badge. Not just for my uncle, but for three brothers and one sister. They all wore the blue, the toughest of the bunch probably my sister, Caitlyn.
I digress...returning to Dani, I instantly lost my heart to the woman I was determined to marry. And, I proceeded to make a lasting impression on her. Blinded by the newly discovered love of my life, I tripped over someone's backpack, tumbled forward striking my head on a table corner. When I came around, I was laying on a bed, in a dark room, the sound of a series of short beeps rattling through my skull like a herd of charging rhinos. I tried lifting my head to see where I was and was instantly miserable for doing so. My head felt like it was clamped in a vice as someone cranked down on the lever.
