Dear Dirty Diary,
Friday, October 31st at precisely 6 pm, our doorbell rang. "Trick or Treat," demanded our first Halloween revelers. I thought the two young women, dressed in dark trench coats were a little old for this but when the Russian sounding blond spoke, "Thank you, Laura," I realized it was duty nurse Jennifer and she'd brought an assistant along. I ushered the two upstairs, noting their white stockings as they reached the second floor.
When Doug spun around in his chair to greet them, "Oh, the pair of you came!" just before he bit his bottom lip anxiously. After we took their coats and seated them by the windows overlooking the marsh, I asked them if they'd like some local sparkling apple cider. As I uncorked the 24% alcohol hard cider I was really serving them, Doug whispered: "I don't know about these two here together. For some reason the two of them started acting all kinky at the way I reacted when they ripped my chest drains out a couple of days after my surgery. I guess the way I mugged for them must have turned them on for some strange reason."
I told the nurses that Louise was bringing home takeout from the Chicken Chalet and asked what they'd prefer. Less than twenty minutes later Louise had supper on the table and I was refilling their glasses with that potent sparkling cider. I topped up everyone's glasses after opening the second bottle while Doug and Louise cleared the table. Since I never expected Jennifer to call my bluff and actually show up for an interview, I rashly calculated getting them drunk enough to accept our threesome lifestyle.
They both appeared quite business like, wearing dark and rather drab high collared dresses as Jennifer opened her big valise, hauled out a file folder and opened it to show a multi page questionnaire. Cornered, we had no choice but to come clean and the three of us started babbling away about all our insane sexual extravagances.
I told Jennifer about Doug being uninterested in me and how Louise entered into my life. Louise jabbered on to Brenda, the other nurse, about our affair and our year together at her bed and breakfast inn up in Quebec while Doug just sat there taking everything in. Jennifer jotted down remarks and asked many questions about Doug's cardio rehab program, his improved health and unforeseen complications of his bypass surgery.
When she reached down into her bag for a clipboard and pen for me to use, that's when I noticed the box of latex gloves! My mind raced through all kinds of scenarios like, "Holy crap is Jennifer just calling my bluff or are they really going to physically examine us?" Underneath the gloves, I saw a blood pressure gauge and relaxed a little realizing they were just going to check out Doug.
Sure enough, after we finished our questionnaires Jennifer pulled on a pair of gloves then slipped the sleeve up Doug's arm and recorded his blood pressure and heart rate. Much relieved, I timidly asked if there was much more to the examination.
"Oh yes," Brenda explained, "We're checking Doug's body mass index, his medications and we'll do an EKG on him during his stress tests."
Jennifer continued, "I saw an exercise bicycle downstairs so that will do perfectly for his physical evaluation."
In my exercise parlor Brenda shaved some spots on my husband's chest then Jennifer affixed the electrode stickers and wired up the portable EKG she'd brought as well. Doug mounted my exercise bike then pedaled continuously for about twenty minutes, at which time Brenda gathered up the EKG tape. As my husband cooled down Brenda checked his blood pressure several times while Jennifer examined Doug's readout. After a few moments when Doug dismounted, he knocked the seat cover off my exercise bike exposing its special features.
"Oh shit,the stupid ass is going to show them how it works," I stewed!
"This is my second refit on Laura's exerciser and I'm proud to say it works exceptionally well this time," exited from his lips then he continued: "As you can see, I've mounted a rear window wiper motor from a minivan on the backside of the seat mount. I attached its arm onto Laura's dildo inside this sleeve that hangs down under the seat. She simply adjusts its speed and time duration with the pulse wiper stalk here on the handlebars."
His hand reached out, flicked the lever and there was simply no place for me to hide! Horrified with embarrassment, I watched my sinister dildo pop its ugly head out through the hole in the seat, rise up eight inches then drop down again. The nurse's eyes shot back and forth to each other then back to the seat as my lunatic husband sped his invention up to top speed.
"Very impressive, Douglas," Jennifer complimented but thank goodness neither of them made eye contact with me as Doug pushed open the side door to show off the swimming pool next to our unit.
As Doug escorted the nurses on a tour of our building's fitness facility and common room upstairs, I was relatively relaxed in knowing that my husband's stress test was fine. So I sat down on the edge of the hot tub and looked out through the windows at the marsh. Eventually he brought them back downstairs then back toward the exit door.
"Do you use the hot tub often?" Jennifer asked me and then sat beside me.
As we watched a small flock of Canada Geese do a flyby, I cleared my throat and began the following little oration:
"This used to be my favorite place in the world and this Jacuzzi jet right back down between us used to be my favorite pastime in the world. I nearly lost him right here two and a half years ago. I'd been kneeling on my special seat right behind us, looking out as we are doing now and was letting my special jet down there, pummel my pussy senseless. Doug got out of the pool shivering, so I got him in there to warm him up. I pulled his trunks down and showed him how he could enjoy the jets as well. I held his shriveled little penis in that jet's pulsing stream but it wouldn't harden up. The next thing I knew, I was dragging him out of the hot tub and doing CPR on him over by the door until the paramedics came in their ambulance! So I suppose it's appropriate to finish off where all our troubles began."
Just then Doug finished off his tour and ushered everyone back through the doors into our unit. As we all walked back through my private exercise room, the nurses eyeballed my bike once more. As the nurses gathered up their equipment, I asked if they were going to a Halloween party next. To which Jennifer replied, "Oh not yet Laura, complete your husband's psychological stress evaluation up in your bedroom now."
As Doug obligingly led his nurses up the second flight of stairs, I figured he'd have to be lying down or something for the rest of the stress test. When I looked up at the little parade, I couldn't help but wonder why both nurses were wearing white high heels this time of year and sheer white nylon stockings with what looked like garter belt straps running up the backs of their legs. When they reached the top floor, Jennifer looked around then instructed Brenda to set up in our bigger bedroom. With Doug's shirt off and the blood pressure monitor, EKG and even a defibrillator all set up, the nurses clipped all the electrode leads back on and had him kneel against the foot of our bed.
"So Louise, take off your slacks and panties and go kneel in front of Doug on the bed," Jennifer ordered.
