Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Some time back I tried my hand at writing a story called Staying in Character that had a woman narrating the story in first-person.

I thought I should try again, this time with a younger woman as narrator.

This is the result of that effort.

It is an attempt to view the consequences of cheating through the eyes of an innocent bystander.

There is no explicit sex in this story.

Still, I hope you enjoy it.

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Friday, April 19, 2019:

Dear Diary, Tom asked me the Senior Prom today! He took me to a movie and asked me to go to the prom with him. I said yes right away even though it's a month away. I was hoping he'd ask me. We've been going out for a while now, but we never talked about being exclusive. No other boy interest me, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Tonight I got the best goodnight kiss ever!

Saturday, April 20, 2019:

Dear Diary, mom and I went out to find my prom dress. I knew I should keep the price under control with college tuition coming up, but mom said, "A girl only has one prom." Who is this woman? I did not see that coming! We found the most beautiful blue dress and mom said we could afford it. I can't wait to wear it!

Saturday, May 4, 2019:

Dear Diary, my Senior Prom is just one week away! Mom has been helping me alter the dress just a little. It fit well when we bought it, but mom said we should make it perfect. When we get finished with it, Tom won't be able to take his eyes off me!

Saturday, May 11, 2019:

Dear Diary, tonight was prom night! Tom was wonderful. He was so charming, and he never paid attention to anyone else the whole night. Dancing with him was like a dream. We went to an after-prom party for a few hours and then parked by the lake for a time. I've known Tom since 6

th

grade, but I never had any idea he was such a great kisser! I don't want to know who taught him, but I think from now on he can perfect his skills with me.

Saturday, May 25, 2019:

Dear Diary, it's Graduation Day! I told mom I could wear my prom dress under my gown, but she said a day like this deserved its own dress. I've never seen this side of my mother before! I got a lovely yellow sundress that fits me perfectly. When I took off my graduation gown, Tom just stood there with his mouth open. I tapped him under his jaw and said, "Close it before you catch flies." He smiled and said I was beautiful. You better believe it, buster! I bought this specifically for you.

I guess all these years of being geeks finally paid off. Tom won top honors in physics and I won top honors in chemistry. We both have scholarships to State in the fall. I'm planning on studying Chemical Engineering. Dad's an electrical engineer, so mom says, "Like father, like daughter." I couldn't be prouder. Mom seems almost annoyed when she says it, but maybe it's my imagination. Mom seems annoyed a lot lately. She says she's feeling old, but she isn't old at all. Dad gives me a hard time and says I'll be developing new types of carpeting, but I'm planning on working in renewable energy. I'm going to make him proud of me.

Friday, May 31, 2019:

Dear Diary, tomorrow is my 18

th

birthday! I told dad, "Now I'm finally legal!" and he gave me a look of fear, anger and amusement all rolled into one. Mom laughed, but I think my big day is something he has been dreading for a long time. You still need to be 21 in this state before you can drink, but dad knew that wasn't what I meant. I think he got the joke once the shock wore off. He knows he can trust me. I'm waiting to find the right boy and then once I find him, I'm not letting go. Dad is 49 and he turns 50 in a few months. Maybe I better take it easy on the old man. His heart can't take the shock!

Saturday, June 1, 2019:

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!!! I can't believe it! I got up this morning and there was a new car sitting in the driveway with a big bow on top! I ran down the stairs screaming and all I heard was dad say to mom, "She's up!" Mom was laughing. "Congratulations, Jules. You earned it." I gave them both the biggest hugs and then ran outside in my slippers to check out my new wheels. I just can't believe it! They said I'd never get a car until after college, but the scholarships I earned tipped the finances and they decided to get me a car early. Dad said, "If your grades slip, we take the car back." I know... "Yes, dad." Since when have my grades slipped? This is the best day ever!

Mom and dad promised me a party for my birthday. I asked for a beer keg, but they both said, "No." Actually, dad said, "Hell, no! It's one thing for us to let you have a drink at home, but we can't serve alcohol to minors. Their parents will have us arrested!" The party was the best party ever! It started at 2:00 and everyone brought their bathing suits. I got a new bathing suit just for today and when dad saw it, I thought he was going to have a stroke. Then he just closed his eyes, shook his head, and walked back into the house. I don't know what he's worried about. A girl's got to show off her assets! All the boys were acting up for us, but we pretended not to notice so they just worked harder to get our attention. We played a lot of pool games, but the best part was playing chicken fights. A girl gets on the boy's shoulders and each couple tries to push the other couple off their feet. Who says you can't have fun with your bathing suit on? We kept switching partners. A boy's neck feels so good snuggled up tight to my kitty! I could have played that game all day. The best part was when Tom and I paired. The other boys were rough and really got into the fights, but Tom held my legs and I felt so safe on his shoulders. I was hosting the party, so I needed to talk with everyone, but all day long I kept finding myself back with Tom. He's so easy to talk with and he makes me laugh. He gave me a wonderful birthday kiss when the party broke up and it went on forever. It was a great kiss! I agreed to see him next Saturday. He said something about dinner and a movie, but I'll go with him whatever he wants.

Monday, June 3, 2019:

Dear Diary, I started my summer job today. I am waitressing at The Hungry Boar. I'm new, so I'll mostly be getting the lunch crowd where the meals are cheaper, and the tips are smaller. That's okay. It means I'll have my evenings off. It was hectic and I made some mistakes. I took four big, greasy burgers to a table of vegetarians! I thought they were going to stroke out! I apologized, took the burgers where they belonged, and got them their salads and roasted carrots. I thought my boss was going to fire me, but he just laughed and said, "Damn vegetarians! There's no profit in carrots." I guess I'm okay.

Thursday, June 6, 2019:

Dear Diary, I love my new car! I don't know why dad complains about commuting to work every day. I love driving to work. I wish my job were further away! Driving home, I saw mom and Mr. Jenkins sitting outside a coffee shop. They seemed to be having fun. I'm glad. Mom works too hard.

Friday, June 7, 2019:

Dear Diary, mom and dad are having a party for their friends tonight. I put in an appearance and said hello to everyone, and now I'm sitting in my room with my TV and watching the adults out the window. All those old people should wear bigger bathing suits. They should hide what they're showing off, except for mom! Mom looks hot! I hope I look that good when I'm her age. Dad is running the grill and talking with his buddies. Mom keeps talking with Mr. Jenkins and they keep looking over at dad. I don't know what they're talking about. Maybe they're planning a surprise birthday party for dad? It's not that far away and dad really deserves it. He works so hard.

Dad hasn't been his usual self lately. He always used to seem so upbeat and happy. Lately, he sits by himself more. Tonight, after the party, mom was putting the dishes into the dishwasher and I found dad just sitting in the living room with the lights off. When I spoke to him, he seemed to perk up, but I think it might have been more for my benefit than for his. Something is bothering him, but when I asked, he said it was nothing. Maybe that surprise birthday party will cheer him up.

Saturday, June 8, 2019:

Dear Diary, Tom is taking me out tonight! He got reservations at my parent's favorite restaurant. Mom said to get the veal saltimbocca and a simple salad and save room for the crème brulee. I'm wearing the same yellow sundress that I wore for graduation. I hope Tom likes it as much the second time.

(later) Yes! This was the perfect night. It was even better than the prom. Tom wore his suit. Dinner was wonderful, and then we met up with James and Denise and we went dancing! Tom and James planned it all and kept it secret from Denise and me. Every week should be like this.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019:

Dear Diary, work was okay. I'm not making as many mistakes as I did when I started, and the tips seem better. I left work at 3:00 and when I was driving home, I saw mom drive by while I was waiting for my light to change. Her boss must have sent her off on an errand. I really like having my own car!

Wednesday, June 12, 2019:

Dear Diary, I got home from work a little before 5:00 today. The early dinner crowd comes in around that time and another woman who has worked there forever works dinners. I found dad sitting out back by himself. He looked depressed, so I sat with him and tried to cheer him up. He says he's fine, but he's not. Something is bothering him. Mom got home a little before 6:00 and that just seemed to depress dad further. I've never seen him like this before and I've never seen them together like this before. I think dad is mad at mom about something, but he won't talk about it.

Friday, June 14, 2019:

Dear Diary, dad said it was just him and me tonight, so we went out for Italian food. Dad seemed to be in good spirits, and he teased me, "Watch those starches, young woman. Tom is taking you out tomorrow night."

I said, "Oh, dad, Tom would be happy with me if I turned up in a pair of your old painting pants." That made him laugh. I love to hear my father laugh like that and he hasn't been laughing very much lately.

"I wouldn't test that theory if I were you." We had a great time, but I admit I did take it easy on the pasta just in case I was wrong.

I tried to talk with him over desert about how he always seems depressed lately, but he just brushed it off. Then he said, "Your mom just has to work late tonight." That was a strange thing for him to say. I wasn't talking about mom; I was talking about him. I'm worried about dad.

Mom still wasn't home when we got back, so dad and I sat on the back deck and talked into the late evening. He even got me a beer. Mom finally showed up late that night and dad invited her to join us. Mom said she was tired and went off to bed. Dad seemed to grow quiet after that. I heard the shower running and then the light in their bedroom went out. Dad and I stayed up late and talked about college plans.

Saturday, June 15, 2019:

Dear Diary, Best Day Ever! Tom and I spent all day at the beach. It was just the two of us. We divided our time between laying in the hot sun and jumping in the cold ocean. When we got hungry, we got lunch at a little stand that had crab cakes and fries. In the evening we played arcade games and walked on the beach. In all that time, we never ran out of things to talk about and we didn't get home until late. I wish every day could be like today.

When I did get home, dad was waiting up for me as he always does. He looked even sadder than he's been. I told him all about my date and he started to smile. "You'd better put something on your skin before you go to bed. You look like you got burned today." He really is the best dad ever! I just wish I knew what's bothering him.

Monday, June 17, 2019:

Dear Diary, I had a great day at work! I had a table with 4 guys at the lunch hour and every time I went by their table, they told me a different joke. I couldn't stop laughing all day, even after they left.

Tom stopped by after dinner and we spent the evening sitting together by the pool. He is definitely the best kisser I have ever known, and I told him every joke I could remember from work.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019:

Dear Diary, I can't believe what happened today. I was supposed to work through dinner, but I slipped and fell around 3:30. I managed to cut my hand on some plates that broke when I fell. That was nothing. It wasn't serious. My boss had some peroxide he keeps for this sort of thing and he bandaged my cut. I tried to work, but it was awkward, so my boss sent me home. Nice guy. I guess my mother didn't hear me come in. She was in the kitchen on the phone. "Bill is already acting like he suspects something... I don't know. He must have seen us at the party... I don't know which party. He probably noticed us two weeks ago and I know he saw us last Saturday because he asked me if something is going on between us." I thought about dad's birthday coming up and remembered that mom might be planning a party for him with Mr. Jenkins. Then I heard her say, "I know, lover, I want to see you, too, but I can't right now... No, I can't... I want you, too, but if we start being stupid, we'll get caught... No, Thursday... I promise. I'm taking the afternoon off and we'll have four whole hours... Oh, baby, you have that big dick of yours ready for me and I'll give you everything you want... Okay, just make sure to walk through the back yard and not the front so the neighbors don't see you... No, my period starts two days later. I'll just tell Bill it started early. He won't have a clue... I miss you, too, Jim." That was it! I just sat there on the stairs wondering how I could have been so wrong. Mom and Mr. Jenkins? I can't believe it. They weren't planning a party for dad. They were having an affair!

I went quietly to my room and just sat there, hoping she wouldn't find me and wondering what I should do. When my mom found me, she was startled. Well, she looked more worried and guilty than just startled. "How long have you been here?" She said it like it was an accusation. I told her I'd just gotten home and showed her my bandage. That distracted her and she went into mom mode. I don't remember much more after that; except I do remember that her touch made my skin crawl.

Dad came home at his usual time and seemed to be in a good mood. I tried to join in and tell him about work and falling, but mom seemed to just ignore him. I couldn't tell him what I heard. I needed time to think, so after dinner I stayed in my room for much of the evening. I finally went downstairs around 10:00. Mom was watching TV and dad was just sitting off to the side, watching her. She didn't even notice. I asked dad to sit on the back deck with me and we went out. I knew I still wasn't ready to tell him anything. I just didn't want him to be so alone.

I tried again to learn what dad knew. "Dad, what's on your mind? You seem distracted lately." He said it was nothing, but the way he said it told me it was clearly something. "Are you mad at mom?"

His head snapped in my direction like he was startled, but then his face softened immediately. "I think it's your mom who is distracted."

"I know." That's all I told him, but he kept looking at me as if he might sense what or how much I knew. I couldn't return his gaze. He was my daddy and I felt like I was betraying him by not telling him what I knew, but I needed to think.

Thursday, June 20, 2019:

Dear Diary, it was my day off, but I didn't tell mom. She left for work like always and I took my time. The restaurant doesn't open until 10:00, so I normally leave long after mom and dad go to work. I moved my car and parked around the block where neither mom nor Mr. Jenkins would notice it. Then I snuck back into the house. That was a switch! When I was younger, I worked to sneak out and now I was sneaking in. I grabbed a sandwich, a soda, and some snacks, and started to camp out in my room. I didn't have very long to wait. Mom got home a little after noon. I closed my bedroom door when I heard her car in the garage and settled down to sit quietly in my room. I wondered what she would do if she found me spying on her, but then I decided that for once I had the moral high ground.

I heard the back door open and the sound of my mother practically running to the back door to greet him. Him! That bastard who is destroying my family! I listened to them in the quiet house. I knew they were kissing and soon they climbed the stairs. As they did, I started the record app on my cell phone.

They walked past my door and I heard her say, "You have to be gone by four, no arguments!"

"I still can't believe we're doing it in his bed!" They were laughing at my daddy.

"If he finds out about it, you won't be laughing. So, you leave by four and don't give me any argument."

I didn't know what to do, exactly, but I figured first I'd just sit there quietly and see what happened. It didn't take long and soon they were laughing, and I heard things like, "I can't wait to get you naked... Get those pants off, mister... Aren't you in a hurry?... You want me to take my time?... No, but I'm taking those panties when I leave." Someone must have lost their balance and fell into the dresser. "Are you trying to alert the whole neighborhood?... Hell no, I'm not sharing you with anybody." They were laughing. It was all a big joke to them. My mother was betraying my father and Mr. Jenkins was betraying a man, his friend, who always helped him whenever he needed help. I was feeling sick, but I sat there as quiet as a mouse.

I felt like a dirty spy. I had to know for sure, but I couldn't just let them betray my daddy like that. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I decided to make some noise. I called out, "Mom, is that you?"

The noise in her bedroom stopped. Then, "Julie, is that you?" I heard her bedroom door close hard.

"Yes. I'm in my room reading one of the summer assignments for the freshman English course I'm taking in the fall." It was a lie, but the best I could come up with.

"Okay, baby!" Then there were whispers and I heard quiet footsteps in the hall. I jumped when the doorknob made a squeak, but then I realized she's probably holding the door shut while Mr. Jenkins walks past my room. I guess she was sneaking Mr. Jenkins out of the house. A few minutes later mom knocked on my door and asked if everything was okay. Really? No, it's not okay! I lied and told her it was and waited an hour before I left and went to Denise's house. I asked if I could have dinner with them. They never asked and I wasn't ready to talk about it.

I went home late. Mom and dad were sitting in the living room and I could see mom was nervous. She flashed me a look when I walked past. I kissed my daddy, said I was going to bed, and went up the stairs. Mom tried to talk to me later and I told her, "I'm tired and I want to sleep." I couldn't tell if she was angry or afraid, but she left me alone.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019:

Dear Diary, how can my life go to hell in just a week? I stay out of the house as much as I can, but I can't stay away all the time. Mom stares at me like she's trying to figure out what I know. Her attempts to treat me like everything is normal would be laughable if I weren't so mad at her. I sat with dad on the back deck tonight after dinner. He seems so sad that I didn't think he's noticed that mom and I aren't talking. I was wrong. He said, "What's going on between you and your mother?"

I didn't mean to be a brat, but I said, "What's going on between you and mom, dad?"

"I don't know, Jules. I really don't know. I can't stop thinking..." He didn't finish the sentence.