When I did get home, dad was waiting up for me as he always does. He looked even sadder than he's been. I told him all about my date and he started to smile. "You'd better put something on your skin before you go to bed. You look like you got burned today." He really is the best dad ever! I just wish I knew what's bothering him.
Monday, June 17, 2019:
Dear Diary, I had a great day at work! I had a table with 4 guys at the lunch hour and every time I went by their table, they told me a different joke. I couldn't stop laughing all day, even after they left.
Tom stopped by after dinner and we spent the evening sitting together by the pool. He is definitely the best kisser I have ever known, and I told him every joke I could remember from work.
Tuesday, June 18, 2019:
Dear Diary, I can't believe what happened today. I was supposed to work through dinner, but I slipped and fell around 3:30. I managed to cut my hand on some plates that broke when I fell. That was nothing. It wasn't serious. My boss had some peroxide he keeps for this sort of thing and he bandaged my cut. I tried to work, but it was awkward, so my boss sent me home. Nice guy. I guess my mother didn't hear me come in. She was in the kitchen on the phone. "Bill is already acting like he suspects something... I don't know. He must have seen us at the party... I don't know which party. He probably noticed us two weeks ago and I know he saw us last Saturday because he asked me if something is going on between us." I thought about dad's birthday coming up and remembered that mom might be planning a party for him with Mr. Jenkins. Then I heard her say, "I know, lover, I want to see you, too, but I can't right now... No, I can't... I want you, too, but if we start being stupid, we'll get caught... No, Thursday... I promise. I'm taking the afternoon off and we'll have four whole hours... Oh, baby, you have that big dick of yours ready for me and I'll give you everything you want... Okay, just make sure to walk through the back yard and not the front so the neighbors don't see you... No, my period starts two days later. I'll just tell Bill it started early. He won't have a clue... I miss you, too, Jim." That was it! I just sat there on the stairs wondering how I could have been so wrong. Mom and Mr. Jenkins? I can't believe it. They weren't planning a party for dad. They were having an affair!
I went quietly to my room and just sat there, hoping she wouldn't find me and wondering what I should do. When my mom found me, she was startled. Well, she looked more worried and guilty than just startled. "How long have you been here?" She said it like it was an accusation. I told her I'd just gotten home and showed her my bandage. That distracted her and she went into mom mode. I don't remember much more after that; except I do remember that her touch made my skin crawl.
Dad came home at his usual time and seemed to be in a good mood. I tried to join in and tell him about work and falling, but mom seemed to just ignore him. I couldn't tell him what I heard. I needed time to think, so after dinner I stayed in my room for much of the evening. I finally went downstairs around 10:00. Mom was watching TV and dad was just sitting off to the side, watching her. She didn't even notice. I asked dad to sit on the back deck with me and we went out. I knew I still wasn't ready to tell him anything. I just didn't want him to be so alone.
I tried again to learn what dad knew. "Dad, what's on your mind? You seem distracted lately." He said it was nothing, but the way he said it told me it was clearly something. "Are you mad at mom?"
His head snapped in my direction like he was startled, but then his face softened immediately. "I think it's your mom who is distracted."
"I know." That's all I told him, but he kept looking at me as if he might sense what or how much I knew. I couldn't return his gaze. He was my daddy and I felt like I was betraying him by not telling him what I knew, but I needed to think.
Thursday, June 20, 2019:
Dear Diary, it was my day off, but I didn't tell mom. She left for work like always and I took my time. The restaurant doesn't open until 10:00, so I normally leave long after mom and dad go to work. I moved my car and parked around the block where neither mom nor Mr. Jenkins would notice it. Then I snuck back into the house. That was a switch! When I was younger, I worked to sneak out and now I was sneaking in. I grabbed a sandwich, a soda, and some snacks, and started to camp out in my room. I didn't have very long to wait. Mom got home a little after noon. I closed my bedroom door when I heard her car in the garage and settled down to sit quietly in my room. I wondered what she would do if she found me spying on her, but then I decided that for once I had the moral high ground.
I heard the back door open and the sound of my mother practically running to the back door to greet him. Him! That bastard who is destroying my family! I listened to them in the quiet house. I knew they were kissing and soon they climbed the stairs. As they did, I started the record app on my cell phone.
They walked past my door and I heard her say, "You have to be gone by four, no arguments!"
"I still can't believe we're doing it in his bed!" They were laughing at my daddy.
"If he finds out about it, you won't be laughing. So, you leave by four and don't give me any argument."
I didn't know what to do, exactly, but I figured first I'd just sit there quietly and see what happened. It didn't take long and soon they were laughing, and I heard things like, "I can't wait to get you naked... Get those pants off, mister... Aren't you in a hurry?... You want me to take my time?... No, but I'm taking those panties when I leave." Someone must have lost their balance and fell into the dresser. "Are you trying to alert the whole neighborhood?... Hell no, I'm not sharing you with anybody." They were laughing. It was all a big joke to them. My mother was betraying my father and Mr. Jenkins was betraying a man, his friend, who always helped him whenever he needed help. I was feeling sick, but I sat there as quiet as a mouse.
I felt like a dirty spy. I had to know for sure, but I couldn't just let them betray my daddy like that. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I decided to make some noise. I called out, "Mom, is that you?"
The noise in her bedroom stopped. Then, "Julie, is that you?" I heard her bedroom door close hard.
"Yes. I'm in my room reading one of the summer assignments for the freshman English course I'm taking in the fall." It was a lie, but the best I could come up with.
"Okay, baby!" Then there were whispers and I heard quiet footsteps in the hall. I jumped when the doorknob made a squeak, but then I realized she's probably holding the door shut while Mr. Jenkins walks past my room. I guess she was sneaking Mr. Jenkins out of the house. A few minutes later mom knocked on my door and asked if everything was okay. Really? No, it's not okay! I lied and told her it was and waited an hour before I left and went to Denise's house. I asked if I could have dinner with them. They never asked and I wasn't ready to talk about it.
I went home late. Mom and dad were sitting in the living room and I could see mom was nervous. She flashed me a look when I walked past. I kissed my daddy, said I was going to bed, and went up the stairs. Mom tried to talk to me later and I told her, "I'm tired and I want to sleep." I couldn't tell if she was angry or afraid, but she left me alone.
Tuesday, June 25, 2019:
Dear Diary, how can my life go to hell in just a week? I stay out of the house as much as I can, but I can't stay away all the time. Mom stares at me like she's trying to figure out what I know. Her attempts to treat me like everything is normal would be laughable if I weren't so mad at her. I sat with dad on the back deck tonight after dinner. He seems so sad that I didn't think he's noticed that mom and I aren't talking. I was wrong. He said, "What's going on between you and your mother?"
I didn't mean to be a brat, but I said, "What's going on between you and mom, dad?"
"I don't know, Jules. I really don't know. I can't stop thinking..." He didn't finish the sentence.
