Deafening Silence

This is a repost of one that was 'rejected' last week. As one paragraph was corrupted in the conversion from Word format to text, some petty soul reported it.

I think this is a story of courage and would like to dedicate it to one of my heroes who displayed the same type of courage. He was a funny looking brown guy that was murdered when he was 78 years old. Despite being only 5' 5" tall, he stood face to face with the largest power on earth at the time, half naked and armed with nothing but his resolve. As he wasn't carrying a gun, they couldn't shoot him. As he wasn't carrying a knife, they couldn't stab him. He won. In his actions, Gandhi taught the world how those robbed of power can defeat those who robbed it.

It seems that every story I publish I get someone commenting along the lines of, 'you didn't develop the character, so I can't empathise with them.' Below is my response to that.

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Dave is one of the bravest, strongest characters I have ever met. He is a man of few words and so it falls to me to tell his remarkable story. Let me tell you from the outset, I forgive you in advance if you don't believe me, but I swear on my grandmother's grave, it's true. Okay, so she isn't dead yet, but you know what I mean. I've cobbled the story together from interviews with his wife, friends and other townsfolk. I'm John by the way, a reporter with the Melbourne Times. You'll notice that I didn't list Dave himself as a source of information. The reason for that is that I only got him to speak to me once and then all he said was, "My Dad once told me, don't have anything to do, do nothing. Don't have anything to say, say nothing. That's all I did."

I have enough material and it is a bizarre enough material that I've decided to write a book. It will be as much about small town dynamics as about infidelity and the actions of a remarkable man. A man of average intelligence who when faced with the choices that the modern court system would give him, decided to fight back his own way. For fairness, I should point out that this is my interpretation. As I said, Dave doesn't talk much. My main source was the wife. She talked like a canary, mainly, I think, for my promise of a couple of grand. She needed that to help with her legal bills.

A little scene setting is in order at this point. At the beginning of this story, Dave and his wife lived in an isolated city of about 25,000 people, with their three children, Sarah (15), Mike (14) and Pete (12). Dave is a mechanic; his wife works for the biggest fish in their small pond. The man is an old fashioned bully, who owns the town's biggest car dealership. Everyone knows that the town's long serving mayor is retiring next year and our man is the leading contender to replace him. Leading because all the other declared candidates withdrew their interest, citing 'personal reasons'. Like I said, he's an old style bully.

The town has its own newspaper, that until very recently showed absolutely no interest in the story of Dave and his wife. What can I say? The owner of the paper drives a car with a certain dealership's sticker on the back window. I, on the other hand, work for a major newspaper, based in the state capital. I was bullied at school, so even if this wasn't a great story, I would have tried to get involved in Dave's fight against Goliath. Anyway, enough dribbling, on with the story.

Ann screamed into the pillow under her face as the man above her unloaded into her. She was glad of that pillow. It was hard enough faking the scream and the vaginal contractions. Faking the facial expressions as well would have been a task her acting skills just weren't up to. As she struggled to breathe under Donny's relaxed weight above her, she thought it hadn't always been like that. At the beginning of their relationship, the newness and the forbidden excitement of it all had resulted in genuine pleasure. Now the familiarity of it all, the lack of romance and the guilt, robbed her of the sexual relief she craved. Donny was a fair enough lover, with more than adequate equipment, but an hour snatched in a seedy motel just didn't do it for her. When she'd decided to start her affair, seven months ago, she'd dreamt that big powerful Donny, had a big powerful 10-inch cock. But it was so close to her husband, Dave's, in size that she couldn't tell the difference. At first, the novelty of it all had made it differently exciting, but without the long, romantic build up, late 30's women crave, the sex became mechanical. That would change, she knew. Donny was going places and she intended to be there when he arrived. There for the romantic dinners and the all night love sessions she craved.

She knew she didn't love Donny, but that was fine because she didn't love Dave, her husband, either. It was enough for her to know that Donny loved her and she reasoned she would come to love him in time. Only three things impinged on her perfect plans. One was her own guilt. Her strict Christian parents would never approve of her behaviour and what she was doing and intended doing to Dave. She wasn't looking forwards to that conversation with her husband. Although she didn't love him, she did respect him as a loyal, hard-working man, trying to do the best for his family. It was just too bad that his best wasn't good enough for Ann. Although the conversation was still a year away, she already dreaded it.

The second was that Donny refused to divorce his frigid wife until he was actually elected mayor. That condemned her to occasional hurried motel liaisons, rather than all night sessions following a romantic date.

The last impediment to her paradise was Donny's puerile nagging for anal sex. Every time he brought it up and she was forced to say it was never going to happen, it degraded his love for her in her mind. Her ass was for shitting, always had been and also would be.

Back in the present, as her sexual heat began to fade, her guilt started to build. Donny rolled off her and started to get dressed. As usual, she would take a shower and leave at least an hour after him. That way, no one would see them leave together or arrive back at work together. Donny finished dressing and kissed her goodbye. Before he opened the door, she reminded him,

"Look out the window and make sure there's no one we know around."

Donny obediently opened the curtains and glanced out, but suddenly drew back and let the curtain fall back.

"Hey Annie, there's a guy sitting on the hood of your car. He saw me open the curtain and looked at me."

"What the hell!"

Ann jumped out of bed and opened the curtain a crack to peer surreptitiously out.

"Fuck! That's Dave."

"Your husband?"

"Yes. How the heck did he know I was here? I'm not ready for that conversation yet. Donny, this could wreck our plans."

"How? What's he going to do? No divorce lawyer in this town is going to take his case. I'll word them up this afternoon."

"But he could go to the media."

Donny laughed.

"In this town? I don't think so. They're too smart to publish anything bad about me. They know I'll own this town for the next 10 years or until I make a run for state politics. Don't worry about them. Anyway, this could be good. You're always saying we never get enough time together. Now he knows, that could change. What's he going to do about it? I mean, look at the guy. He's half a foot shorter than me and about half my weight."

"He could tell your wife."

"Hmm, you're right there. I don't want the bitch tipped off before we're ready. Tell you what, I'll go and have a talk to him."

Donny bent down to kiss Ann again and marched out of the door. Ann cracked the curtains again to see the confrontation. She looked straight into the eyes of her husband. Letting the curtain drop, she felt guilt eating at her. She waited a couple of minutes until she heard Donny's raised voice, then cracked the curtain again. What she saw was very upsetting. Donny was leaning over Dave, who still sat on her car. Once again their eyes locked through the curtain. Ann fled to the bathroom and showered until the water ran cold. Still she hadn't managed to wash her guilt away.

Ann was dressed and steeling herself to look out the window again, when Donny rang.

"How quickly did hubby leave after I had words with him?"

"I don't know. I haven't looked since you left."

With Donny bolstering her courage, Ann looked out the cracked curtain again.

"Shit, he's still there."

Donny was confused. His stand over tactics always worked. Like most bullies, he only had the one tactic.

"What did you say to him before?"

"I just told him the facts of life and pointed out the health hazards of standing in our way and the futility of trying to do anything about it."

"What am I going to do? I can't leave with him out there."

"You'll be fine Annie. It'll be dark in an hour. Stay where you are and I'll send a couple of, er, associates around to have a word with him."

True to his word, an hour later there was a heavy knock on her door. Ann looked out and saw Frank and Rick, two of Donny's employees, outside the door, holding Dave between them. They were so big, that Dave's feet were off the ground. She opened the door and they shuffled in. Dave had a neutral expression and just stared at Ann. She quickly averted her eyes and made for the door. When she heard a sickening thud behind her and an expulsion of breath, it was pure reflex to look. She saw Rick holding Dave and Frank with his fist cocked again. As she looked, Dave stood up straight again and looked her directly in the eye. Feeling sick, Ann fled.

She picked up some takeout on the way home to feed her family. She fielded questions on where their Dad was, and why he wasn't answering their phone calls. She slept extremely poorly and there was still no sign of her husband when she left for work the next day. Donny wasn't in that day either and she couldn't bring herself to speak to Frank or Rick. With extreme trepidation, she returned home just after her usual time. To an empty house. She rang Sarah and Mike but both cells went straight to message bank. Ann began to fret. It was well after dinner time when she heard a car in the driveway. Looking out the window, she saw her kids getting out of her parent's car, with both her Mum and Dad. They trooped in. Her mother opened the conversation.

"Annie, why didn't you tell us Dave was in the hospital?"

"I...I didn't know."

Silence settled on the room. Everyone stared at Ann. Finally, her father broke it.

"Maybe you didn't know, but the fact that you're not rushing over there or even curious about why he's there, tells me it's no surprise to you."

Faced with this logic and five suddenly accusing stares, Ann could only slump into a chair and avert her eyes. She might as well have screamed, "Guilty." After another minute's silence, she fled to her room. She heard her parents making dinner for her children. Her mother tried to get her to come out of the locked room, but Ann couldn't face that. Eventually, when all was silent downstairs, she ventured out. The hum of her children's conversation abruptly stopped when she entered the room.

"Have you all eaten dinner?"

Her children just stared silently at her. Finally, Sarah broke it.

"Mum, you know how daddy got hurt don't you?"

"I had no idea he was in the hospital."

Silence returned, as everyone, except maybe little Pete, accepted that the lack of a denial was as good as an admission. This time it was broken by Pete's sobs. Ann hurried over and wrapped her arms around him.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"It hurt me to see daddy hurt so much. He's got broken ribs, a broken nose and two black eyes."

Ann recoiled in horror at what she'd not prevented. Mike filled the ensuing silence.

"Why did you hurt Daddy, Mum? What did he do to you?"

Ann's answer was pure reflex.

"He didn't do anything to me."

Too slowly, she realised that once again she'd failed to deny being the one that hurt Dave. In her own mind she blamed herself. She shooed the children to bed and basically drank herself unconscious. The next day Donny refused to discuss Dave at work, but offered to discuss it at their usual motel later. Frustrated, Ann agreed. As soon as she got there, he tried to fondle her but she snapped at him until he stopped. He just shrugged his shoulders when she asked him what instructions he'd given his two thugs. When she described Dave's injuries, Donny showed no interest or empathy at all. She stormed out and arrived back at the office two minutes before him. The tension between them for the rest of the day was obvious to everyone within 100m.

That night she didn't fret when her children weren't home before her. Again, her parent's dropped them off, but as soon as they smelled dinner cooking, they left without a word. All the children gave monosyllabic answers to any question she asked. Whenever she entered the room they were in, conversation ceased.

The next day, things were still frosty at work and very uncomfortable. At her empty home that night, she just sat at the kitchen table and pondered how to break the impasse with her children. She was so deep in thought that she hardly registered her children returning and when no dinner was present, Sarah and Mike preparing a meal around her. She only snapped out of it when Sarah noisily put a plate in front of her. She ate alone in the kitchen while the children ate in front of the TV. She just couldn't handle those accusing stares. She shuddered to think what Dave was filling their heads with.

After another cold day at work, she returned home to a bustling house. Her mother greeted her at the door.

"Are you going to feed your children today?"

"Of course mother..."

"Good," her mother interrupted and left the house. Ann turned to see Pete carrying a plate of cheese and biscuits up the stairs.

"Hey, no food upstairs, you know that."

"Daddy's hungry," Pete threw over his shoulder as he kept on up the stairs. That's how Ann discovered Dave was home. She busied herself making dinner, occasionally glancing at the stairs. It was only 13 steps, but it was a psychological chasm. At any one time, one or two of the children were upstairs. Sarah took Dave's food up. As they sat at the dining table, Pete innocently asked, "If Daddy didn't do anything to you, why did you hurt him? Why won't you talk to him?" Ann had no answer to that. When Sarah started to explain the concept of guilt to Peter, she fled, leaving a half-eaten dinner. Ann walked for several hours. When she returned, all the kids were in bed.

She needed stuff from the master bedroom and bathroom, so she snuck upstairs and peered in the open door. Dave appeared to be asleep, on his side, facing the doorway. The sight of his swollen face, with white strips holding his nose in place, bypassed everything and went straight to her conscience. The sound of his ragged breathing just about killed her. Ann gathered her necessities as quietly as possible and went to put them in the spare room directly across the hall. She returned to the master bedroom with the intent of whispering a request for forgiveness to the man she'd once loved. A man whose current mental and physical pain she could have prevented. As she knelt down next to the bed, she saw his eyes were open and staring at her. She fled again. That night, Ann again couldn't sleep. Through two walls and a corridor, she felt Dave's eyes boring into hers. When her relationship with Donny first turned serious, she knew conflict with Dave was inevitable. She'd gone over and over in her head what she would say to Dave. Now that it had turned from an academic exercise to reality, it hit harder than she'd ever imagined.

Ann forced Donny to talk to her the next morning and tried to get him to advance his plans to divorce his wife. He was adamant that until after the election, there would be no divorce and no admitting to an affair. If she wanted to divorce her husband now, it was up to her. He would assist her with time off and money, but essentially, she was on her own. That's when Ann first suspected that she might just be a fuck buddy for Donny, although she was far from convinced. The heat from the burning bridge behind her, forced her to follow her chosen path.

She took time off to see a lawyer and arranged to have Dave served as soon as the papers were ready. She left the service all in the hands of the lawyer. To expedite the divorce, she kept her demands reasonable. Her having primary custody but with liberal visitation rights for him and the formulated child support and alimony. She also wanted residency of the house until she was ready to move out. That should be just after the election next year.

The next part of the story won't make sense unless you know the layout of the dealership that Donny owns and Ann works at. The front of the building is a huge showroom. Along the wall at the back are four glass walled offices, end to end, with solid walls between them. On the far right is Donny's, then Ann's, then the two belonging to the admin manager and the service manager. As the offices are long and thin, there is only one place to put a desk. At the opposite end to the door, against the end wall. Because Donny's and Ann's doors are at opposite ends of their offices, this means their desks are basically together, with a solid wall between them. The service centre is around the back.

Ann didn't see Dave walk into the dealership. She was busy tapping away at a keyboard. In, he did walk though; right up to the reception desk. He leaned on it and just stared right into Ann's window. One of the two receptionists recognised him. He'd coached her softball team in high school. She knew he was Ann's husband, although he'd never been there before. She tried to engage him in conversation, but he just stared neutrally at the offices. The receptionist couldn't see if it was Ann or Donny that was the target. While she kept talking, the other girl who shared the front desk went to Ann's office and told her Dave was there. Ann's head swung around. From her vantage point, there was no doubt where Dave's eyes were focussed. They bored into hers, even from a distance of 12 metres.

Ann quickly broke eye contact. Still, she felt his gaze on her. Without looking, she reached for the venetian blind control and twisted it to he-can't-see-me-now. A minute later she put one finger between two slats and peeked out. Both the girls at reception we whispering to each other conspiratorially. Dave was still staring at her window, with his now familiar neutral expression plain through the bruises and bandages.

With his stare burning through the blinds, Ann picked up the phone and rang Donny. She told him to look out his window.

"Shit. What's he doing here?"

"I don't know Donny. Get rid of him...it hurts."

Donny put the phone down and strode out to the reception desk.

"Mr. Brown, this is a private business. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Dave didn't acknowledge Donny in any way, shape or form. He just kept staring.

"Come on, don't make me call the police."

Without taking his eyes off Ann's window, Dave reached into his pocket and handed his phone to Donny. Donny lowered his voice to a level he thought was audible only to the starer.

"Listen shithead. So I fucked your wife, get over it."

The trouble was, Donny had no idea of the power of his own voice. Both girls at the desk heard his sotto voce comment clearly. In her office, again peeking through a crack in the venetians, Ann saw both heads swing towards her. She then saw Donny stride back to his office.

Two minutes later she heard a commotion at reception. She created another crack and looked out. What she saw horrified her. Frank and Rick had Dave by an arm each and were carrying him towards the outer doors. Dave was travelling backwards and stared at her the entire trip out of sight. Ann thought to herself, serves him right. Why can't he just let me go. Then she remembered that all her dialogues with Dave to date had been in her head. Until he'd caught her in the motel with Donny, he'd no idea that their marriage was even in trouble. With that amount of shock, it was no wonder he was at a loss for words. She wasn't totally devoid of empathy and she genuinely felt for Dave. Ann raced to her door and exited her office. She saw Donny with a sadistic grin on his face.