Damn If I Know

Why does she insist on making me angry every day? What in the world have I done to warrant this constant display of contempt from her? Just how much longer am I going to keep taking it? The answer to all three questions is: Damn if I Know!

Hey sports fans, my name is D. W. Fitzgerald, I am a fairly normal guy I guess, but some pretty abnormal things have been happening to me lately. Not abnormal like ghost, or visions and things like that, but abnormal in that my wife is acting really strange and has been treating me like I am a leaper or something. The prevailing wisdom in most situations like this would be to man up, and set her little ass straight, you know, give her the, my way or the highway attitude! Trouble with that is, she might take the highway, and I don't want that to happen, at least not yet! We have been together for over fourteen years now, eleven of them as man and wife, and we have invested a lot of time, effort, energy, and money into our relationship, things I don't want to have to give up or, split fifty/ fifty with her, without being absolutely sure that that is the only way.

Patty, my wife, is a good looking woman, and I do love her, some days anyway. She keeps a clean house, cooks great meals, and has never embarrassed me on the frequent occasions that we go out, or entertain at home. Now that sounds like a pretty chauvinist statement so let me add that, I am a pretty good looking guy that she loves, some days anyway. I have a good job, provide very well for her and our family, and as far as I know, I have never embarrassed her either. Does that even things out, I hope so. Let's just say we have a fairly even, normal relationship, in most areas, that is we did up until the past few months. Lately it has been a very hostile, cold and anger inducing relationship that I feel is in big, big trouble.

Never being one that liked to argue, especially with women, don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to physically settling a issue with a guy, if the need arises, it's just not like me to start something. Well anyway, I have not been getting into it with Patty, I have just been letting her rant and rave, and hoping she would get over it, but she is just getting worse. She is now taking pot shots, infringing on my man hood, and just disrespecting me in general. She knows, or should know, that I do not allow anyone to disrespect me, and that lack of respect is one of three things that will end our marriage. The other two things, if you are curious to know, are: loss of love, and loss of trust. I explained to her, early on in our relationship, what were the deal breakers in a relationship for me, and now, she has either forgotten or no longer cares, about those deal breakers. What you ask has happened to bring us to this point in our relationship, and my only reply is: Damn if I know!

It is said that the husband is always the last one to know when the wife is running around, and I was determined to find out if this was the case with me. I did all of the things you all have read about, you know, phone tap, GPS in her car, following her, and even hiring a P.I. for a couple of weeks, (what a waste of money), and for all of my efforts, I came away with nothing, nada, no insight at all as to why she was acting like she was. So I ruled infidelity out and started looking for other answers.

My next guess was menopause, the change, time of life, or whatever they call it now, but damn if I know how to go about getting her to the doctor for that kind of diagnoses. Due to her not being old enough to be going through menopause anyway, I placed that guess in the too hard to find out right now category and started looking elsewhere.

Since she was not cheating on me, and she most likely was not going through menopause, my next guess was that she just did not love me anymore. What was the reason to cause her to stop loving me, you guessed it, damn if I know, but I was sure that was the answer. She just did not love me anymore, well I'll be damned, that had to be it, I felt like I had finally discovered the reason for her actions, now what was I going to do about it. My first thought was, damn if I know, but I stopped myself from thinking that, and said, I know exactly what I am going to do! If she did not love me, then I would stop loving her too! Two could play that game, who wants to love someone that does not love them back? Not me, that was for sure. So my plan to extricate myself from this situation was placed into effect.

I was going to use the old Alice Cooper strategy, NO MORE Mr. NICE GUY! Yeah, I was going to do to her what she was doing to me, and so it started. Ever seen the movie: The War of the Roses? Well, that was almost us. Not as violent or as over the top, but just as nasty and mean spirited. I quickly learned that she is much better at verbal warfare than I am. Her tongue is razor sharp and being a quick witted cunt, oops, sorry, I am trying to keep my cool, but it is a struggle, she was winning most if not all of our little discussions.

This went on for several weeks and when I really could not stand it any longer I felt like I had no choice, I had to play the big "D" card, and so I did! I want a divorce and I want it right

F... ing now, I remember screaming at her. The next thing I remember was her cold, pitiless eyes as she

smiled and said: Well it's about time, you sick prick, and how soon can you be gone? It turns out, I could be gone pretty fast, like two hours later, I was in a motel room wondering what the hell had just happened.

Now don't get to sorry for me, if truth be known, I was actually kind of glad that all of the hostility was over. For the first time in several months, I went to sleep not worrying about what the morning would bring. So in the morning I went about preparing for a divorce. I stopped credit cards, closed bank accounts, contacted a lawyer, etc. and started to mentally prepare for the battle which was all because of, well it was all because of, well ....Damn if I know!