Cruise Ship of Fools

Laura started unpacking her suitcase and wondered how soon her husband Shawn would arrive. He had surprised her with a Bahamas cruise as a way to rekindle their marriage. Talk about a surprise! He only told her the night before. All she had to do was pack. Shawn had cleared the vacation time with her work and informed both sets of parents. The only thing she didn't get to do in advance was call James, her lover.

Laura was glad the hiding and lying would soon be over. Her affair with James had run its course. With the likelihood she and Shawn would be starting a family soon, it was time. She was, however, glad that she had been able to get in one affair before she had a baby. It was always meant to be a one-time, first and last fling to confirm her desirability to other men.

As she thought about it, she was puzzled why she had given in and had agreed to meet with James in the first place. He was handsome and charming, and the sex was exciting at first, but there was no love. At one time she had assumed there had to be an element of love to justify the need to have a lover. Now she was forced to admit, it was just lust. The sex was good but was certainly not worth risking her marriage to Shawn. Thank goodness they had been careful. Neither Shawn nor James' wife Donna had found out. Best to end it now and not to tempt fate anymore.

Laura was hoping Shawn was truthful when he said he was ready to commit to having children after the cruise. Having children was one of, it not the main, reason for getting married when she did. She was so looking forward to becoming a mother. In her mind, she had redecorated the spare room twice over, once for a boy and once for a girl. The best part of her life was about to begin. She was so happy.

The sound of a key entering the door actually caused a flutter in Laura's heart. She planned to greet Shawn with the biggest hug and most passionate kiss she could muster. As the door opened, she gasped, "No. James! You can't come in. Shawn will be here any moment. Go away!"

James yelled, "Laura? What are you doing here? Donna's supposed to be here soon. This is our cabin."

Neither seemed to know what to do except tell the other to get out.

After a few agonizing seconds, James hit himself in the head and said. "Oh, shit. Now I understand. This IS supposed to be OUR cabin, yours and mine."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you see? They know. For some reason your husband and my wife have decided to give us a lovers' cruise. Probably as a good-bye present to our marriages."

"No. That can't be. It doesn't make any sense. Shawn told me that he had arranged this cruise and said he would have to meet me late because of a last-minute business detail. He told me this cruise was a way of strengthening our marriage and getting ready to have children."

"Donna told me the same thing, almost verbatim. Something about the way she told me sounded a little off. Now I know why."

"Are you sure? What if they show up?"

"Let me see your ticket." After examining the slip of paper, James explained, "Look, we are booked in the same cabin. You can wait to unpack if you want to see if Shawn is coming, but I think we're busted."

"I'm calling Shawn. This must be some crazy mistake." She dialed and got nothing. A second try yielded the same results. "Darn it. The phone company must still be doing their update. That's why I didn't call you last night."

"Who told you that the phones weren't working?"

"Shawn."

"Guess what Donna told me last night when I told her I needed to call someone? The phones probably don't work because they cut us off the phone plan. They knew we would try and call the other."

"Noooo. This can't be happening. I was going to stop our affair after the cruise. I want my husband and my marriage. I want to have children - Shawn's children. Quick, let's get off the boat."

"It's too late. The ship has left the dock already. We have a couple of days before our first port."

"I'll get off there and go home. I'll beg him not to do anything foolish."

"How will you get home?"

"I'll get a flight back."

"How will you pay for it?"

"With a credit card, of course."

"So, you're assuming our credit cards are still valid?"

"I hadn't thought of that. Surely, he wouldn't be that mean."

"You can go to the Purser and see if you can charge anything on your card. I'll go with you and check mine too."

Their trip to the Purser confirmed James' prediction. Their credit cards were declined. They went online and found out that half of their joint accounts had been cut in half. ATM cards could have provided access to the joint accounts, if they hadn't been cancelled. The Purser let them both make a phone call to their spouses, but they both got a 'number no longer in service' message.

"So, Laura, how much cash do you have?"

"About $300. You?"

"About $250. Doesn't look like we will take any of the side trips. I think we're stuck until the end of the cruise. I assume you have the return flight ticket."

"Yes. What am I going to do? This will be the worst week of my life. How could I have been so foolish?"

"Well, we might as well enjoy the cruise. No telling what will be waiting for us."

"All I want to do is cry and figure out how I can get my husband back."

"Fine. I'll unpack and go see what I can do for free."

"You . . . you don't think we're going to share a room, do you?"

"Laura, we've been having sex for several months when we thought our spouses didn't know. What's the big deal about sharing a room when they do know?"

"Well, maybe Shawn will be more forgiving if I tell him we didn't share a cabin on the cruise."

"You are truly delusional. Good luck with that story."

Laura and James shared the cabin and the bed for the cruise. Laura agreed to snuggle for the nights James stayed in the cabin but no sex. He found another woman who invited him to her cabin a couple of nights. Laura did little more than eat, sleep, cry and prepare her speech when she saw Shawn. She expressed optimism at Shawn's forgiveness to James who rolled his eyes rather than challenge her naivete.

Their luggage was taken to the bus to the airport. They sat next to each other on the flight home. They said little. At the baggage claim in their hometown, James saw a man holding a sign with his and Laura's name on it. The man said he had been hired to take them home. As soon as James and Laura got in the car, the driver gave them each a manila envelope. "You've been served."

"I thought you were a driver."

"That too. I was paid to drive you and serve you. You are supposed to read the letter from your spouses. I will be taking both of you to 1353 Westwood Avenue."

James said, "That's my home. What about the lady?"

"I was told to take both of you there. The answer might be in the letter."

Each envelope had the same letter with the separate petitions for divorce.

"Laura and James,

"We hope you two enjoyed the cruise, NOT! If you think 'treating' you two to a cruise was some sign of affection, put that thought to rest. I (Shawn) had bought the cruise tickets before I found out about your cheating. They were non-refundable. After Donna and I got together to confirm our mutual cuckolding (I guess the term is the same for woman as it is for a man), we came up with the idea of sending you two on the cruise. We needed the uninterrupted time to get our affairs (pun intended) in order. We are sharing a divorce lawyer which would probably be a good idea for you two. At least it would be cheaper.

Your receipt of the envelope is the start of a 90-day separation. That will allow all of us to get used to not being married to our current spouses. Rather than have as many as four residences, we decided that Donna would move in with me. Laura can move in with James. In case you're wondering, Donna and I have not developed a romantic relationship, not even a revenge fuck. It's not because Donna and I do not think each other is attractive. It's because we don't believe that we should have sex with someone else until we're divorced. What a strange concept. Not fucking someone other than your spouse. Seems I heard that somewhere before. Oh yeah, our marriage vows, or were they just marriage suggestions to you two?

The next 90 days of separation is what we propose be used to negotiate the division of assets. Donna has taken all that she wants from her house most of which went into storage. Laura, all your stuff has been put in boxes and is at James' house. Oh, before I forget, there is something that we didn't leave for either of you. All the wedding pictures and albums have been disposed of. If you want them, you might try to look for them at the city dump. Hey, you trashed our marriages, it's seems a fair trade for us to trash our wedding pictures. Obviously, getting married did not mean the same to you as it did to us.

Please spare us the excuses from the Cheaters' Handbook. There is no excuse for what you two did, and you did it over and over again. Forget counseling, at least marriage counseling, unless you two think it would help your future marriage to each other. But then there's that thing about whether a cheater who marries a cheater can ever trust their spouse. We know we couldn't which negates the reason for us to receive marriage counseling.

We do need to talk - about distribution of assets. We have not asked for anything unusual in the petition. Basically, a 50-50 split for me and Laura. Donna has a pre-nup that keeps James from getting much. The way I see it is that half is not fair, but I can't expect any better should we go to court. What is fair about Laura getting half when she has committed the crime and I have not? There should be more serious consequence for you two, otherwise you might not feel punished. If you are not punished, you might believe you can get away with it again, whether you two get married or wind up marrying other people.

What punishment to give you two has been the source of discussion for many hours between Donna and me. By the way James, that 20-year-old Scotch you've been saving is wonderful. Sorry, but the bottle is now empty. Donna was really creative in her suggestions however, most were illegal. This is what we have settled on:

Copies of the pictures, videos and recordings we have of you two in the throes of sexual bliss will be distributed to everyone within our families, schools, churches, neighborhoods and anyone else we can think of. I hope that got your attention. What we really want to do is increase your desire to settle the conditions of divorce as quickly as possible. Some might consider our proposal as a threat or blackmail. We consider it an incentive.

We also debated whether or not to sue the company you two work for. They have a no fraternization policy, but we don't have proof of your trysts occurring at the office or during work time. Too bad, we could have used the money. Guess you got lucky in one regard.

Communication - All future communication should be handled through our attorneys. We both have new phone numbers only our attorneys know. Our attorney's contact information is listed below. We suggest we have a meeting or two where we try to iron out any differences. There are things like insurances, properties, loans, mortgages, alimony, etc. that might be deals we trade things for rather than split in half. These session(s) will only be for asset settlement. We will not entertain excuses, apologies, explanations or pleas for forgiveness or counseling.

Donna and Shawn"

Laura was crying. The loss of her husband and the loss of having his children were both clawing the insides of her heart. James tried to be consoling. His depression didn't hit until he saw his house. Boxes and boxes of Laura's stuff filled his living room. All photos of Donna as well as most of her things were missing. It was like the first time it really hit him that this was real. His wife was gone, and he was stuck with a woman he only cared for when they were in bed.

Laura got together her basic items and clothes she needed for a couple of days. "Where is the guest bedroom?

"Guest bedroom? Honey, if you're staying here, we're sharing a bed and I don't mean just for sleeping. I'm going to get ripped to shreds in the divorce. Donna's father made me sign a pre-nup. If I get caught cheating, I get nothing. It's your fault I got caught. You owe me a lot more sex than what you've given so far."

"Why do you think it was my fault they found out? It just as easily could have been you. We both thought we were careful. I don't know how they found out. Do you?"

"I just know I was extra careful. That doesn't change anything. You're either in my bed or out my door."

"I choose the door." She gathered some of her stuff together and put it in her car. Shawn had at least brought her car to James' house.

"What do you want to do about my other stuff?"

"I will give you 72 hours. Not a minute more."

"That should be fine." Laura paused then added, "I'm sorry for my part in causing harm to both our marriages. I wish you luck with your divorce."

***

After checking into the motel and getting a restless night's sleep, Laura prepared for work. She was looking forward to the daily grind taking her mind off her situation. The work distraction didn't last long.

While bringing her morning coffee to her office, Laura was greeted by her best friend at work, Debbie. Debbie had been made aware of the cruise when Shawn had arranged Laura's time off. He had told her that Shawn and Laura would be re-connecting in preparation for having children. "Laura, since you have almost no new tan, I assume that you and Shawn were busy in the cabin making babies."

Instead of the big smile that Debbie expected, Laura's face wrinkled up and she started crying. Laura ran into her office with Debbie right behind her. The story of the cruise, the letter, and the divorce petition was given to her friend. Then there were two women crying.

***

SHAWN AND DONNA

"Well, Donna, I guess they're back by now. How do you feel about what we've done?"

"Horrible and satisfied. I hate to have put an end to my marriage, but I like that we've not let them get away with it. It's seems that our marriages meant nothing to them. I feel I've been fooled for my whole married life!"

"Well, not that long probably. As far as we know, they have only been together a few months."

"Shawn, do you think their being willing to cheat only started a few months ago? I figure their 'undying love' for us started dying a few months after the honeymoon. If not, what happened that 'suddenly' caused them to need to cheat?"

"I see your point. I still have trouble understanding why she did it at all. I had no clue she was anyone other than a devoted wife and a woman ready to have children with me. Thank God, I caught her before we had children. It would be a real mess divorcing when a child is involved. What do you think James is going to do about fighting the divorce or not?"

"If I invoke the pre-nup, he'll probably challenge it. Otherwise, he gets almost nothing. He only brought about $10,000 into the marriage."

"Do you think the pictures of them going in and out of the motel room will be enough to prove adultery? On one hand, I really wish we had video of them actually having sex. On the other, I think sex videos of them would be burned in my brain."

"Those pictures will probably not be sufficient proof, at least not by themselves. I'm going to need Laura to testify for it to be a slam dunk. That's why I'm considering not using the pre-nup and just going for a 50/50 split. There's not much chance his lover will throw him under the bus."

"I don't know. It sounds strange to say, but Laura has a pretty high moral standard other than cheating on her husband. She might cheat on me, but she might tell the truth about the affair."

"Can you talk to her for me?"

"Maybe. Let's just play things by ear, for now. You go ahead with your divorce and I'll go ahead with mine. There's no rush as far as I'm concerned."

"Speaking of that, how long do you think you can tolerate me living here before you kick my skinny ass out?"

"As far as I'm concerned, you can stay as long as you want. I've been surprised about how comfortable it's been living with you and how quickly we've established a routine. I've enjoyed our talks and mutual consoling." Shawn paused and smiled. "And after careful examination, your ass is not skinny."

"Thank god you've noticed. Now I don't have to slip a testosterone supplement into your meals. I have been trying my best to get some rise out of you. I need assurance every now and then that I'm still a desirable woman."

"I've noticed but please don't stop trying." Both were smiling.

***

It was over a month before a negotiation meeting was scheduled for Shawn and Laura. Since James had not seen any pictures, he challenged the proof of adultery claim. Donn's divorce would take longer. Each lawyer for Shawn and Laura came with a list of items for negotiation. Laura's lawyer was allowed to go first.

"My client requests all checking and savings be split equally between her and her husband. She proposes to keep her car and the loan be transferred to her. His name is to be removed from the title. In return, she proposes to remove her name from his car's title, and he take over the loan. Both parties would procure their own car insurance. As far as the house is concerned, she proposes that it either be sold and the equity be split, or he can buy her out by paying her half the equity as projected by a certified property evaluator. She would be removed from the deed if he retains ownership."

Shawn's attorney responded, "We have no problem with those conditions. Her husband choses to sell the house. He will put it up for sale within 90 days. What else does she wish?"

Laura's lawyer spoke up. "My client agrees to your terms only if your client will speak to her for up to one hour in private."

Shawn spoke up. "No."

"Then my client requests that 12 sessions of counseling be required. If your client declines to participate, we will petition for $3000 a month alimony and loss of equity in the house. You know we can get both with the right judge."

Shawn's lawyer advised him that local judges like counseling and letting the wife stay in the house. Although she probably wouldn't get $3000 a month in alimony and the house, she probably would get a lot more than he was offering. The attorney further advised Shawn to take the one-hour deal and be happy it was not worse.

"My client will give his wife one hour provided she sign the agreement in advance of the meeting."

Laura interceded, "Shawn, will you agree to actually talk with me and not just sit there?"

Shawn fumed but agreed.

"He has never lied to me. I accept."

When Shawn and Laura were alone, he told her, "It's 2:32. At 3:32, we're done."

"I deserve that. You've promised to listen, and I am holding you to your promise."

Shawn nodded and stared at her.

"Shawn, I have sinned - sinned against you and God. I am not making any excuses to you. I made some to myself when I convinced myself it was okay. I lied to myself as well as you and God. I cheated. I broke my marriage vows. I betrayed the man I love most in the world. I deserved to be punished. I think you probably agree with what I've just said."

Shawn again nodded.

"The issue is punishment. Is divorce too much punishment? Is a second chance too much to ask? Please indulge me and imagine a scale, a scale of justice. On the divorce side, put the heavy weight of my adultery on that scale. It makes the negative side go way down. Is there anything else you want to put on the negative side? Were there other ways I was not a good wife to you? Other than my having a lover did I ever show disrespect for you and our marriage? Did anyone ever come to you with negative words about my behavior or try to tell you that I had bad-mouthed you behind your back? Did I ever turn you down for sex, even when I was having my affair? Did you ever doubt my love for you until you found out about James and me?