Elaine:
I trudged upstairs with my head hanging down. I took those damn sweats off and threw them in the trash. I didn't want any memos from the best - and worst - weekend of my entire life. I put on my granny nightgown and curled up and started crying, as quietly as I could. How had it all gone so wrong? Friday night when I (ME!) was "picked", I felt like a Queen and on top of the world. I felt like the ultimate "winner". I had an increasingly successful career, a husband who loved me though I WAS getting a bit tired and annoyed with his promises of "better things to come" and yet never quite fulfilling them, and then I was chosen amongst 500 or so other women by some of the richest and most powerful men in my husband's company - and I was playing that game for HIM and for Jules. And Bob should have been proud of me for my beauty and attractiveness to other men. But now he was leaving me. I could feel it. He had left my bed just when I really needed him - his love and kindness and gentleness. Damn it all.
How could he do that to me? At least I didn't have to worry about explaining my bruised and aching breasts or my urinary tract infection or my pussy rubbed so raw I probably couldn't have sex for a whole week anyway. Crap. What a fucking mess my life was now - all gone to pieces in just one fucking weekend.
*******
If Elaine could have been just slightly more introspective right now, she might have started realizing it actually started falling apart 2 years ago. And maybe longer ago than that as she got increasingly disenchanted with her husband as a provider, then as a lover, and finally even as a father. She understood they wouldn't have much when they first got married so young. Neither had degrees or good jobs or even good prospects. Bob lucked into that IMT&R position and the benefits especially were important - paying for her pregnancy and delivery and all their medical bills. But he didn't make much in salary and getting by was a struggle with the living in rented apartments and then a small rented house before FINALLY saving up just enough money for the minimum down payment on their first "starter" house of their own. She was SO happy with that little victory back then. Their sex life definitely improved for the next 6 months after they moved in. Jules was 5 years old by then and didn't normally interfere at all in their bedtime and sometimes wake-up time sex. When Bob was "on" with his sex drive it was quite satisfactory to her. When they were dating and first married he was always "on" and she was quite satisfied, that way.
But his drive seemed to be up and then down - work pressures or financial pressures often got to him and then his drive faded and Elaine got more frustrated and bitchy herself. What Elaine never realized was that SHE was the one actually controlling their frequency of sex. Always. It was when Elaine got depressed with the financial struggles and disappointments of not having enough money for her to buy a new dress, or the latest and neatest toys for Julia, or to have a decent car to drive, that she shut down Bob with just too frequent put downs - the "not tonight I have a headache, dear" and other banal excuses. Men need sex - sexual release and the great orgasm feelings that are physical - but they also need the more mental and emotional feelings that sex brings them. The affirmation that is "sex=love" from his wife or significant other, and the reverse simplistic unconscious feeling that "not tonight" casual sexual rejection really means that his wife's love for him is lessening, if not fading. And the more that happens the more the feeling grows and the wider the gap becomes between husband and wife. And then when (or if) things improve and the wife stops saying "no" so much - sexual frequency might increase to almost honeymoon levels for a time - but that gap between the spouses never quite closes up completely - and so it slowly grows with each cycle.
And then Elaine screwed somebody else for the first time when her own "rejection cycle" with Bob was at a peak 2 years ago. At that time Bob was lucky if Elaine let him have her once every 2 weeks. Of course in Elaine's egocentric mind she really thought it was all just Bob and his flagging interest in sex - and her. And this became more rationalization for Elaine to break the marriage fidelity bond for her own purposes. Not. Her. Fault.
She had had a few sales and one listing during her first year selling real estate. That extra money was like a drug to her. It immediately switched her back into "acceptance" mode sexually with Bob - and "luckily" for her Bob's own libido seemed to recover right then as well. Life was real good again. She had planned on spending all that extra money on Julia and the house, and even some gifts for Bob, but somehow most of it actually bought things just for herself. Better business clothes and better and more frequent business lunches out. She decided to open her own separate checking account and even got her first very own credit card in her name only. Somehow she never quite got around to mentioning these developments to Bob but it was all to simplify her business expenses for tax considerations anyway. And it was always the NEXT sale and the NEXT commissions that would buy the home things and the Jule's extras. Meanwhile Bob just plugged away and it was his steady if limited income that covered all the necessities and the few extras that could get squeezed out of the always tight household budget.
And then she hit that dry spell for weeks and then months. No matter what she did or what she tried she couldn't get a seller listing contract signed or a buyer client to buy any house she showed. That's when she really started her talks - and closer friendship - with Susan. And this is when the deepest and longest rejection cycle happened once again. She was definitely depressed and dissatisfied as never before. She felt like a loser and she hated that feeling above all others.
Finally, one Thursday night she had a crucial appointment with a possible listing client scheduled. She had already met him the Tuesday before, at lunch, and he spelled it out pretty clearly - 2 other female agents from other agencies were in the running for his listing. One had already given him a blowjob in his car after one luncheon meeting. (He said.) Another had taken HIM out for a dinner sales pitch meeting, then drinking and dancing - had promised to kick-back a full point off her commission, and then made out with him in her car afterwards - allowing him to easily get to third base and with a promise for more - like a dating relationship more - if he signed with her. But he hadn't yet and he wanted to hear Elaine's absolute best offer...Elaine was the best looking, hand's down. He really wanted Elaine - he wanted to fuck her.
Elaine thought about it, hard. James was an attractive (enough) man. He was about 5'10" and seemed athletically built and well-groomed and always casually stylishly dressed, He was also sole owner of a $350,000 house and no other woman seemed to be in the picture. Finally she smiled her best smile and said, "how about I come by your house Thursday about 7PM with the listing contract? I'll make my best offer, and if you sign right then I will close the deal that night as well. But I have to leave no later than 9PM. I am married and I can not be out late. OK?"
When she left that lunch meeting her legs were shaking a tad. If she had noticed James hardon when he got up to leave - she would have been even more nervous and scared. "What am I about to do? Can I do it?" she kept thinking.
She was really acting distracted and remote the next two days to both Jules and Bob. Of course by this time Bob was used to her ignoring him and just in her own little world, so much - and he no longer bothered even trying to make love to her on week nights. Elaine felt her own tension growing. It was like butterflies before a big game for athletes or before opening night for an actress. "Can I pull this off? I've got to," was about all she could think of.
She never really thought why it was so important to her. It just was. Yes, she wanted more money that would eventually occur if she signed him up. She didn't really want - or need - the sex with another man. That was just a tactic - a tool - for her to succeed. To win. Winning was the thing to her, now. Beating out those other women. Proving to herself she was better than them. Higher up the pecking order of the social grouping of "all women competing for men - and money". After all, that was what was MOST important in the USA right now, based on the movies and TV shows and innumerable women's magazines. Sexy and desirable women ruled the world. It was a little bit true - but mostly false. It was a great kind of big lie, actually - based on just a little bit of truth.
Finally Thursday night arrived and she was outwardly wearing just her normal professional real estate agent uniform - business suit with black pencil skirt below the knee, sheer nude hose (but thigh highs not pantyhose - and sans panties) a nice opaque but thin blouse - and a push-up lacy bra underneath, and her Agency Logo'd jacket.
She really struggled to control her voice when she told Bob she had one of her rare evening meetings with a client that just couldn't meet her during the day. "I won't be late" she said as she walked out. Bob hardly looked up as she left - so he probably didn't notice how shaky she was on her slightly higher than normal "work" shoes. Pretty sexy open toed pumps actually.
She rang James' doorbell about 5 minutes after seven. The door opened immediately like he was standing right there before she even arrived. He looked fine and his hair looked wet like he had just taken a shower. "Promising," she thought. She walked in and headed for the couch and sat down there with her briefcase and started pulling out the contract. Somehow her skirt had hiked up quite a bit as she sat down. "How about a drink?" she asked James.
