Conversations with a Loving Wife

OK. For something totally different -- at least from me. I like to occasionally try to broaden my writing style. My attempt here is to tell a full story by just using conversations. There will be no background, narration, or descriptions here that are not from one of the characters talking. In other words, the only character building and descriptions will be when one person is telling another about them. I'm not sure that I will succeed in this. Yes, there are holes in the story. Use your imagination.

Also, there will probably be debate on whether the Bitch was actually burned. I leave that up to you.

And, yes, there really are people out there that are as stupid as Connie. There is no sex in this story, so feel free to 'Swipe Left' if you are simply looking for a stroke story.

Cast:

Connie Williams -- Loving wife, mother, and bitch. Her first marriage ended in divorce because her first husband cheated on her.

Dan Williams -- Doting husband and father. (He is not an active participant in the conversations)

Stan Jones -- Snake (Also known as Asswipe, Fuckface, Dick Head,... You get the idea.)

April Williams -- 18-year old daughter of Connie and Dan. She's a Daddy's Girl

Gabe Williams -- 18-year old son of Connie and Dan. April's twin brother

Julie Smith -- 30-year old daughter of Connie from her previous marriage. Dan's Step-daughter. She has two daughters and is unmarried

Nick Smith -- 35-year old son of Connie from her previous marriage. Dan's step-son. He had a son and daughter. Married to June.

June Smith -- Nick's wife.

Note: Dan didn't meet Connie until several years after her divorce from her first husband, so he was not the cause of the divorce.

Conversations of a Loving Wife:

[Ringtone]

"Hello."

"Mom! What the fuck is going on, and where are you?"

"What do you mean, April? And I would prefer it if you wouldn't use that language and tone with me."

"Yeah, and I would prefer not to have come home today and found my father curled up on the couch sobbing like his world had just been destroyed. There's also a half empty bottle of bourbon on the table beside him. What's going on?"

"Has he told you anything?"

"No, MOTHER! He hasn't said anything. I'm not even sure that he is really aware that I am here. He's just curled up on the couch sobbing. There's something that looks like a manila envelope that he is clutching to his chest though. So, when are you going to be home?"

"OK. The envelope will explain everything."

"What do you mean? You still haven't told me when you will be home. It's dad's birthday today, and we are supposed to be going to the restaurant in a couple of hours. I would have thought that you would have already been here getting ready."

"Well, dear. That's a bit complicated at the moment."

"Hold on. I manage to get the envelope. What's this? Petition for a divo........YOU FUCKING BITCH! DID YOU ACTUALLY SERVE DAD WITH DIVORCE PAPERS ON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY?"

"Well, there really is never a good time to do this, but Stan and I.."

"STAN? WHO THE FUCK IS STAN? HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON DAD?"

"April! There is no reason for you to be screaming like that and using that type of language with me!"

"Fuck that! Just get home so we can discuss this."

"Well, dear. I, uumm, actually, I..."

"Oh, don't tell me that you have already moved in with that piece of shit!"

"APRIL! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU USING THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE ABOUT STAN! HE'S A VERY NICE MAN, AND HE WILL BECOME YOUR STEP-FATHER AS SOON AS THE DIVORCE IS FINAL!"

"No, Connie, he won't. I will never acknowledge him. I will never be polite to him. I will never even be civil to him. He will never be part of my life in any way, shape, or form."

"Listen to me, April. April. April? APRIL! Shit. She hung up."

[Ringtone]

"Hey April. What's up?"

"Listen, Gabe. We have an emergency at home. Get your ass here on the double."

"What's going on?"

"Just get home fast. I don't want to get into details over the phone, but I need your help with dad."

"What's wrong with Dad, and where is Mom? Why isn't she helping?"

"My former mother is gone, and she isn't coming back. She has apparently moved out."

"Oh, shit."

"Oh, shit doesn't even begin to cover it. It gets worse, but you're wasting time. Just get your ass home, and we can go over it later."

"OK. Be there in fifteen."

"K. Bye."

Half an hour later:

"OK, Gabe. Now that he's in his bed, I'll let you get his clothes off so he can sleep."

"Gee, thanks, sis."

"What? You think it would be better if I did it?"

"No. Fine, but I'm probably going to have nightmares about this for weeks."

Couple minutes after:

"OK. Done. Now, what the hell is going on?"

"Well, as far as I can tell, our former mother has been having an affair for quite a while. She must have served Dad with the divorce papers and moved out this morning."

"ON HIS BIRTHDAY??? WHAT A BITCH!"

"Yeah. That's what I said. Well, let's see what the paperwork says."

"What the hell? She's demanding seventy percent of the assets, paying for your college, and $2,000 a month support in exchange for letting him keep the house! She knows damn good and well that he will never be able to afford that. After maxing out all the credit cards and refinancing the mortgage and using all the equity up, the bills are so much that they are just living paycheck to paycheck."

"Damn. How will Dad survive? At least he can keep the house."

"I doubt that. It's too expensive. He'll have to sell it and move to a small apartment. With you moving into the dorms at college and me leaving for the Air Force in a couple of months, it will just be him living here. And, because they took all the equity out of the house when they refinanced, he will not get a dime if he sold it."

"Shit."

"Yeah. I need to call Julie and let her know what happened and that dinner is off for the night. Then I'll call Nick and tell him what's going on. That should be interesting. After all, while she is their biological mother, Dad is only their step-father."

"You know better than that, sis. As Nick always said, the only steps in this house go from the first floor to the second floor. Remember, Julie has never seen her biological father, and Nick hasn't seen him since he was about four and a half years old. Dad is the only father that they have ever known."

"You're right, but I kind of worry that blood may be thicker than water here."

5 months later:

[Darth Vader Theme ringtone]

"What do you want, Connie?"

"April, I am your mother. You should address me as such."

"After what you did to my dad? I don't think so. Do you know that he lost his job because he went in to work drunk? He was so devastated by what you did to him that he never even contested the terms of the divorce. You destroyed him. Since then, I don't think that he has been sober since, no matter how hard Gabe, Julie and I try to help him."

"Well, that was his choice. By the way, he missed the last two months of the support. If he misses it again, I'll have to take him back to court."

"What is wrong with you? I know that you have become a heartless bitch, but can't you see that he is dead broke? He lost the house, he had to sell all his tools, and he's living -- if you can even call it living -- in a crappy, run-down apartment in the worst part of town. He can barely afford to even eat."

"That's his choice. He still owes me my money. I had to cancel two of my spa days because of that."

"Oh, the horror!" With extreme sarcasm.

"Look, I understand that you father is having some problems, but that's not why I called. First, I haven't heard from you for several months. You never call me. You should be calling your mother occasionally. Second, I need the information on when and where your graduation from boot camp will be."

"I'll take your advice for calling you under advisement. Next, why do you need that information?"

"Because Stan and I want to come out and see the graduation, dear."

"Who's Stan?"

"April! You know who Stan is. He's my fiancé, and he's going to become your step-father. You know that we will be getting married as soon as my divorce is final. I sent you the invitation, and you are supposed to be in the wedding party."

"Sorry, I was confused for a moment. I only think of him as Asswipe. So, what makes you think that I even want you and Fuckface here for that?"

"April! I insist that you stop calling him those awful names!"

"Not gonna happen. Anyway, if you are so intent on coming out for it, you can figure those things out for yourself."

"Fine. We will see you then."

San Antonio, New Mexico a month later:

"April! That was a wonderful ceremony. I'm so proud of you. Come. Let's go to dinner."

"Yeah, I figured that you would want to do that. I hope that you don't mind, but I went ahead and made reservations."

"Oh, no, that's perfect. It will help to not have to wait in line, since there will probably be a lot of others trying to have dinner too."

"OK. By the way, this is Tracy. We met here and became really good friends. She doesn't have any family, so I invited her to go along as well. Tracy, this is Connie. She's the one that gave birth to me."

"Hello Tracy. And this hansom gentleman is....."

"No one that you need to care about. You should also probably refrain from touching him. You don't know what diseases you might pick up"

"April! We flew two thousand miles to watch you graduate! You could at least be polite!"

"One, I didn't ask you to be here. You did that all on your own. Second, I have always been very clear that I would never be anything but rude to that thing that caused you to destroy my daddy."

"Fine! Let's just go to dinner."

30-minutes later at the restaurant:

"This looks like a very nice place, April."

"Yeah, it's supposed to be the best restaurant in the city. It's gotten really great reviews and has won a couple of awards as well."

"Well, judging from the prices, it should be exceptional."

[April, party of three. Your table is ready]

"That's us. Let's go."

"But April, they said 'party of three. There's four of us."

"No. there are only three of us. You, me and Tracy. That's three."

"But Stan makes it four."

"Who?"

"STAN! MY FIANCE! Christ, April. I'm really getting tired of your attitude towards Stan."

"Fine. Let me see what I can do."

A couple of minutes later:

"OK. I fixed it as best as I could. It was too late to change the reservation, so our table is only set up for the three of us. The good news is that they had a cancelation, and they can set up a separate table in the vicinity for one. That's the best that I can do. I gave them his name, and they should be calling him as soon as we are seated."

Moments after the women were seated:

[Richard Cranium, party of one. Your table is ready.]

"April, I thought that you said that Stan would be the next one called."

"They just did call him."

"No. They called a Richard Cranium, not Stan."

"They called the name that I gave them. Richard is the proper name for Dick, and Cranium is a Head. Richard Cranium is also known as Dick Head. See, I was being polite."

"April! I'm ashamed of you. And why are they leading him to the other side of the restaurant? I thought that you said that he would be in the vicinity."

"He is in the vicinity. He's in the same room. Personally, I would prefer he be on the other side of the city, but, compared to the entire city, he is in the near vicinity. It's just a matter of perspective."

One month later:

[Devil Went Down to Georgia Ringtone]

"Hello, Mother."

"Nick, baby. I've been waiting for your call to let me know if you were hosting Thanksgiving as usual and to make plans."

"Sorry, Mother. I guess that we forgot to call. We are going to Texas this year to be with June's family for Thanksgiving."

"Oh. I was hoping to see my grandbabies. It's been a long time since I've seen them. Are you planning on coming out here sometime?"

"Not for a while now. We were just out there last week, so it will be a while before we can get out there again."

"Last week? Why didn't you let me know? I would have loved to have seen you."

"Well, for starters, June's dad and his new wife were there for a few days of vacation, and they invited us to spend a couple of days with them. Then, we spent a few more days with Dad. By that time, we had to leave again, so we didn't have time to stop by and see you. Maybe next time."

"OH. OK. What about Christmas? Can you come up here, or should we plan on going down there?"

"I'm not sure, Mother. I'll have to call you and let you know."

"OK, Nick. Please do call. It seems as though I always have to call you. You never seem to call me anymore."

"Really? Wow. I didn't realize that."

"Yes. In fact, I can't recall you ever calling me since Dan and I split up."

"By split up, I assume you mean when you dumped him and moved in with Asswipe."

"Nick! He is a very nice man, and he will soon become your step-father. Besides, Dan was not you real father anyway."

"Well, mother. You are correct that Dan wasn't my sperm donor, but he is the only dad that I ever really had. I also never considered him as a step-father. To me, he was always my father. The only steps that I ever thought of at home, were the ones from the first floor to the second floor."

[Death March Ringtone]

"Yes, Mother. What do you want?"

"Julie, dear. I just got off the phone with Nick, and they will be going to Texas for Thanksgiving. I decided to host dinner here for us. I thought that we should start planning."

"Sorry, mother, but I already have other plans. After Nick called me last month, I made alternate arrangements. I figured that since you wouldn't be going there, that you would be going to Shithead's family for the holiday."

"No. He really doesn't have any family left. He was an only child, and his parents died several years ago. Well, since April is in her specialty training back east, I guess it will just be Stan, Gabe and me for Thanksgiving, then."

"Oh. Actually, since we figured that you wouldn't be doing it, I already invited Gabe to go with me. Besides, there's a really nice girl that's going to be there, and we want him to meet her."

"Oh. Well. I guess that I'll try my mom. Besides, she lives in the same city as Nick and June. Perhaps I can catch them for a few hours either before they leave for Texas or when they get back."

"OK. Sorry, mother. Bye."

[Ringtone]

"Hello."

"Hi, mom. It's Connie."

"Oh, hello Dear."

"Hey, mom. It looks like all the kids have other plans for Thanksgiving this year. I was wondering if you, dad, and Steph either wanted to come out here, or if Stan and I could go down there for Thanksgiving."

"Well, I'm not sure what's going on, but we will be going over to Nick and June's for Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone will be there. Even April and her new girlfriend managed to get a three-day pass to come out."

"WHAT??? Nick told me that they were going to Texas for Thanksgiving with June's family."

"Oh. Well, that was the original plan, but that changed yesterday when April called him and asked if she could come out. After a few phone calls, they changed everything, and June's family will be coming out here. I'm sure that you will be welcome to join us."

"OK. Thanks, mom. We will be there. Can we stay at your place?"

"I'm sorry, Dear, but, with April and her girlfriend, plus Gabe, Julie, and her kids, I will already have a houseful. Besides, I really don't think that your kids like your new man."

"OK. I guess that we will just book a motel for a couple of days, then."

"OK, Sweetie. I look forward to seeing you. I'm sure that your sister will be excited as well."

"Alright. Thanks, Mom. Bye"

Turning to Stan:

"Well, that was odd."

"What's that, Connie?"

"I was just talking to my oldest son about Thanksgiving. They normally host it every year, but he just told me that they were going to Texas to be with his wife's family this time. I tried all the other kids, and they already had other plans as well. Now, I just got off the phone with my mom, and she told me that Nick will be hosting it, and everyone else is going to be there."

"That's OK. We can just have our own Thanksgiving here with just the two of us."

"No. I just told my mom that we would be going there. She said that it would be fine. She said that the initial plan was for Nick's family to go to Texas, but that had just changed. I probably just caught him in the middle of something and he was confused."

"Uuummm, Connie, perhaps it would be better if we just stayed here."

"No, no. I'm sure that it was just a simple mistake. Besides, all the kids and grandkids will be there. Even April will be there, and she's bringing her girlfriend. Now, I need to make hotel reservations before everything is booked up."

[Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer Ringtone]

"Hey, Granma. What's up?"

"Hello, Nick. I think that I just made a mistake."

"How's that?"

"Well, I got off the phone with your mother a bit ago, and I started thinking about the conversation being rather odd. I think that I may have screwed up a bit and I should call you."

"Oh, crap. It's about Thanksgiving, isn't it?"

"Yes. I'm afraid so. I didn't realize at the time that there was probably a reason that she wouldn't be invited. Unfortunately, I think that I spilled the beans on it. She is making hotel reservations to be here with Stan."

"That's OK, Granma. Don't worry about it. It's fine. I'll just let everyone else know, so that they can prepare for it. It might get a bit messy, but what's the fun of a holiday with the family without a few fireworks?"

"OK, Dear. I do understand your feelings, but please remember that, regardless of what a psychobitch she is, she's still my daughter."

"I know, Granma. I can assure you that everyone will be polite and respectful to HER. Asswipe? Not so much."

"I understand, and I will probably be joining right along with you. After all, I really like Dan. It's too bad that he couldn't come out this year."

"Yeah. We were going to pay to fly him out, but that injury prevents him from flying for a while. He should be able to come out for Christmas, though. I already discussed it with everyone, and they all think that they can make it for at least a day or two."

"Well, that's good. At least he will have a nice dinner and some company in the hospital for the day."

"Yeah. The nurses and doctors really love him. It's also good that he can't drink while he's there. Hopefully, he can sober up for a while. It really hurts all of us to see what's happening to him, but there's really not much that we can really do about it. He's so broken from losing the love of his life and the way it happened, that he just lost his entire reason for living."

"I know. All we can do is hope, pray, and give him all the support we can."

"We try, Granma. OK. I need to get going. I have a bunch of calls to make."

"OK. Bye, Dear. Give the kids a kiss for me."

Thanksgiving Day:

[Doorbell chimes]

"Oh. Hi, Mother. Sorry, I forgot to tell you about the change of plans. You called when I was in the middle of something, and the change of plans wasn't really finalized yet. I didn't call, because Granma said that she had already talked to you. Come on in; you're just in time. We were just about to sit down for dinner."

"NICK! You just closed the door in Stan's face!"

"Who?"

"Stan! My fiancé!"

"You mean Fuckface? Oh, sorry. Didn't see him there."

"I really wish that you guys would just grow up and accept the fact that Dan and I are getting a divorce, and that Stan and I are getting married."

"Mother, how long has that vein been popping out of your forehead?"