Consequences

Consequences 15B

A conversation on infidelity

Words: 4800 approximately

Tags: Cheating Wives, Coupling, Relationships,

For the list of Characters fast forward to the end.

Author's note: All location information used has been obtained from online and map research or just imaginary, no opinion of real places is intended. The names and background of characters used are entirely fictitious and any similarity to a real person is entirely coincidental. This is a work of fiction and entirely the author's creation for the purposes of a story. The language, terminology or sayings used are intended to be International, this being the World Wide Web, but if any word or saying is new to anyone I would refer them to Google.

Before anyone gets uptight, in my story making a phone call is permitted in first class by connecting into the plane's systems. (See Picocell)

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Intro from 15A:

David flew back to Baltimore only to find that much had changed and a revolution was taking place. He takes the children and heads for the UK. Olivia invites herself on the trip rather than let him take her son without her.

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Heading to the airport.

David had chosen to call Ana, and meantime Olivia took the chance to phone the booking agents. He heard enough to realise that she had probably made the first correct important decision for more than a year, outside of business. He even admires how she works her magic to secure a seat next to him in first class.

Since she was abducted, Olivia has been spending a lot of time remembering the mistakes she has made. She had tormented David with hints of what there might have been hidden during the time between marrying him and being caught with Ana and Peter. Now she wondered if it mattered any more but she had begun to clean up her history, deleting anything and everything, contacting people with threats of what David might do. It was pointless of course, David ignored everything about her now except their son, but it made her feel like she was cleaning her soul.

What Olivia didn't know was that she had disappointed Arthur so much that she turned him from being her most ardent supporter to something quite the opposite. Arthur was their expert in tracing information and background, so nothing she did now would ever be a secret, he made sure of that. He hadn't told David what she had been doing because he didn't want to burden him but it was there, like a ticking bomb.

Loaded on board, Olivia felt reasonably private in first class, they had a whole section to themselves, the nurse, and the babies. Loading them all onto the plane was probably the first time he was pleased that Olivia was with them. As it was, he carried two little ones whilst Olivia, and Sue carried one each, leaving staff to help with everything else. 'Thank goodness for first class and the power of tipping,' he thought.

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The flight

Once they were underway, they were kept busy keeping the children occupied. But as time passed, the vibration of the plane sent the little ones to sleep, well most anyway. So Olivia decided to take advantage of their relatively close seclusion and the temporary hiatus.

She opened with, "David."

"Aha?"

"Do you remember those talks we used to have when we were trying to make me better?"

He was in a mellow mood so didn't snap back, just saying, "yup."

"Well since my abduction, I think I've been different and Angela says that I should try to empty myself of my secrets if I am to make a new start."

"So?"

"Would you?" She didn't get a chance to finish.

"No," he said emphatically.

"How could I convince you that I am free of my devil and in my right mind, and sincere?"

David did his darndest to be calm and patient, he had ideas of what she was after and he wasn't having any of them.

"Olivia, I have given up going over old ground, I tried everything in my power to help you but all you did was add more hurt to my pain. If someone you love contracts AIDs because they had affairs, do you think that talking about how they had sex makes the disease go away? Well that's what you did to me, except I haven't got AIDs, have you? Your behaviour killed our relationship, end of. You knew what you were doing and just made up some excuse to justify it. You pulled the wool over my eyes and others who you were supposed to love."

"I know David, I'm the one with the disease and I'm trying to find a cure for me and for you."

"I have no idea why you think it's for me anymore. This philosophical argument could go on forever. I could make a pretty good guess at what you have been up to since your abduction, you've probably been trying to clear your history, make sure that nothing comes back to bite you. It's probably because your brain imbalance has been affected or you are planning some new ploy to get your way over something or other. The truth is that the only thing we have connecting us is Sean, if it weren't for him you would probably be dead by now, just like Ciaron's mum.

Unlike David, she was determined to hang in there and not let his hatred deter her. She changed the subject. "Tell me about what you have been doing lately, let's at least try and make this flight comfortable."

He bit his lip from coming back with a snarky retort and after some thought he couldn't see much harm in it, at least it would stop her pressing him to give her another chance. "Where would you like me to start?" There were a few events that she didn't know much about so he began to relate the adventures in New Hampshire, Dawn's rescue, the search in Central America, the office search and finally St.Lukes island in the Caribbean.

Olivia gradually became more and more saddened until as he told her about the Island adventures the silent tears were running down her face. He purposely ignored them, but eventually couldn't prevent himself asking, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm just bereft, I was supposed to be part of your life and I'm missing it all. Since those men drugged me, I spend all day punishing myself and every day that I hear about you it just hurts, that's all."

He said, "Well you made the choice to chase after sex with boy-men instead of being part of a real life. If one turned up at this minute you would plead with me to have him, I am certain, you're pathetic." He sees her expression become sadder and continues, "Now you know what I felt like to have my future and my memories of the past taken away from me."

David knew he hadn't really gotten over the loss, specialists had told him that it could take years, like the experience of someone you are close to dying. But despite the barrier he had built up, the extra pain she hit him with almost daily with some new infidelity or disrespect made it much harder and some of his bravado was part of the reaction to that. He thought it would be easier after the divorce but for as long as she was around the pain just wouldn't go away.

Of course the stringent measures he had taken became legendary and for a time gave some relief but he wasn't particularly proud of them. Then he thought of the men that they had stripped naked and left tied to street lamps with a huge placard announcing them as wife stealers, and it made him smile.

"Are you laughing at my sadness?" Her voice broke his reverie.

"No, I was remembering the men we left tied to lamp posts, I needed to think of something amusing." They sat in silence then and he thought she was probably thinking about what she had missed. He was wondering why she hated him so much and how much she still hated him. He believed that she didn't admit to hating him because it fueled her excuse for what she did to him, or at least tried to. She had nothing now except her son and even he, David had sole custody of.

He started to become maudlin and it led him to seek relief by attacking her, even though he knew it achieved nothing. He convinced himself that at least she knew why he didn't want her to be in his world anymore. He said, "If you want to talk, let me put some things out there about how you see things and let's see how your thinking fits."

"The first one is. Have you yet allowed yourself to admit that you hate me with every bone in your body?"

She started to argue but he stopped her.

"The second one is, 'You pulled off the lie that you were mentally unstable, why did you pull the plug on that one?"

"The Third one is. I can't imagine that you are anything but a nymphomaniac, you had to have known that since you were a teenager, so why did you marry me?"

"Finally, for now, I assume you had sex with the farmers that found you, so it follows you only came home because your breasts hurt, so when did you start taking medicine for your condition and why? Surely you could have started taking them when you were much younger and saved yourself so much anguish, it can't be nice trying to suppress your condition. Or was it that you were having such a good time with your extreme sexual activities. How did you manage to concentrate on studying?"

At first she sat there with an expression akin to someone who had a nasty smell under their nose, then she came at him with, "You think you know everything don't you? But you don't."

"I don't think I even tried to suggest that, to be honest I don't care anymore whether I do or don't. I have my peace with what I know and what I don't know. The questions I have put to you are more to do with how much I can trust you going forward. As things stand I can barely trust you with my son let alone anything else. So I tried to find questions that might give some idea of your state of mind."

"Well you asked for it, so here it is. Let's start with the drugs. I was taken to see a specialist when I was a kid and had gotten out of control and was prescribed drugs. I let them slide when I went to Uni. Then I saw someone like Angela when you asked me to marry you and I was prescribed drugs that helped to suppress my 'needs.' The problem is that our sex life heightened my needs and worked against the drugs but we were so busy it stopped getting out of hand. Then when I saw the Doctor about having a baby, he said that if I was going to be pregnant I would have to come off the drugs in case they affected the baby. We were so desperate for us to have our baby that I decided to take the chance and came off. All was not too bad because when we weren't working we were banging away endlessly. But it didn't work for us, so we upped the ante and my nymphomania kicked in big style, then Daniel coming into my life just ripped my self-control completely to shreds. Before long, I became completely out of control and the more you tried to stop me the more I fought you, and it just escalated. I could think of nothing but sex and the brain that I used to use for logical thinking just became dedicated to getting more."

"I'm not sure where the rescue thing came in, but later, it made things so much worse because the more I couldn't orgasm unless you recovered me, the more I tried. I can count very easily the number of actual orgasms I ever had with anyone else but my body still drove me for more and more sex."

"So, coming back to your questions, 'Hate you? Maybe at times in my frustration, my impressions are so split at different times. I don't think I could really hate you but I can understand why you must think so. I am not sure now how I could convince you that I love you."

"Why did I change tack on the mental thing? It was just too risky, I knew that once the baby was weaned I was going back on the nympho treatment but I was worried that I wouldn't get that in an institution. Even in my clouded mind I could sense that was close and I wasn't going to risk it further.

"As to your third point of why did I marry you? I admit it didn't make sense, I even remember Ana looking at me strangely when I said yes. The truth is that I wasn't thinking about my issues, I just adored you, you were everything I wanted and nothing else seemed more important then."

"But why didn't you tell me? There are many things we might have tried and done?" David almost sobbed.

She thought for a moment, trying to put words in proper order, then began. "I have always thought of myself as a slut, not someone who is sick or just different. If there is a psychological reason, it was because I was made to feel like one from an early age. It was how I was treated by my parents, my other family and friends and as you know, the police. So the truth is, I have always been afraid of losing you if you found out what I truly am. I am just a fucking whore slut."

She continued. "Then what happens? I drove you away anyway, so it became more a case of 'what the heck' my life is already over anyway, so what if I die. But then I would yearn to have your attention and I started stalking you and that pissed you off even more."

After a breath she said, "I think I have covered your last item, but when I came back from my capture I started to wean Sean and subsequently began taking the medicine to suppress my horniness. Sean, taking after his Dad, didn't want to come off the nipples so it took longer than expected but he has accepted the bottle now, and even a small amount of solids in mashed form. The others are doing or have already done the same. We are all glad to have given our little ones a year of best mothers milk but it's hard on busy mothers and, once the others decided to move the office, it became essential, at least during working hours." David scowled at that and she took note not to labour the point.

Anyway, the meds haven't had a chance to fully kick in yet but it's getting slightly better. I still can't get orgasms except from certain people but I am trying hard to get control by distracting myself."

"Who are the people you can orgasm with?"

"Must I tell you?"

"No, it's up to you, I think Jill is one, isn't she?"

"Yes, if only I'd recognised that women were exempt from my problem, but Jill came to me after you had had sex and I could taste and smell you on her. It's nuts I know but I went off like a rocket."

"Are others still around?"

"You have done a number on most of them. Others? Well I am sure you would find out if you wanted. I don't want to say more right now because we are talking and I don't want you to shut me down again. You can't imagine how jealous I am of the women you are close to. I hear you talking to them about some important thing or other or something intimate like when you torment Lauren. I get so jealous it makes me throw up."

David felt no sympathy, despite her story he couldn't excuse what she had done to him. After so much abuse he couldn't accept that if she loved him that she could do what she did. He reached forward to his briefcase, searched around for a particular folder, and pulled it out face down. "We have had an application for a job from someone who I am told came out top of the pile of applicants. I am about to turn it down but Jane said that you had been different lately so I should see what your opinion is. It is an important application because it's a junior architect for the Retreat's design team and as you know, a trainee is an expensive investment.

Olivia's mind was racing, and the thoughts sent a little tingle to her clit and she tried her best to shut it down.

"Do you want to see who it is?" He tested.

Olivia's thoughts raced on, 'He's asking me, giving me the option, ohh god should I risk a reaction if it is who I think it is?'

David thought he could see her dilemma so he thought devilishly he would help out. "I can see what a difficult question this is for you right now. On the one hand you want to have some kind of normal working relationship with me but on the other you can't help wondering what it would be like to have someone around who might give you the sexual release that you crave."

She bit her lip as she nodded prettily. 'Much too prettily!' David thought, but his thoughts weren't about lust but about how she reacted to the thought of a certain someone else.

He put the folder away making sure she saw where it was and made sure which documents were either side, then sat back to allow his thoughts to digest what he had learnt and more importantly, what he believed. They sat quietly then he felt her hand rest on his arm, so he looked across and she smiled, not one of her entrancing smiles but a reassuring one, so he let it stand at that.

He mulled it over for a while but eventually he couldn't help himself, "Tell me about him, how you feel? What do you have together? What do you hope for in the future? Don't try to influence me, one way or the other. If I could understand, I might be able to eventually find a way forward."

She didn't answer for a long, long time. "I am not sure what to say, what is real and what isn't sometimes becomes blurred at the edges. For a while he was what my inner demon was desperate for. He was very, very, wrong, he was a vision from one of my fantasies and I could treat him like a sex slave and for that I adored him more than any other."

"My lusts soon became much more than that. I wanted to fight you and each time I wanted to do something more obscene, something that would make you sick, it became more of an obsession, it was my whole life. I was a filthy slut and I might as well live up to the title. My sickness was, if you like, completely out of control. But things change as they always do, your actions started to prevent me indulging and he went back to college. So, I had to look for new pastures and you know those stories, there was Josh and Daniel's brother amongst others."

"One day I might be well enough to thank you for all that you did, to try and protect and save me, the next I am out of control. The problem is getting the right balance, I need my lust not to define who I am, but my medicines only go so far. During our ten years I was sustained by your passion and our day to day challenges to make a success. I have lost both now and every day is a battle, the same as your friend in California."

"If Daniel or someone who satisfies my needs comes into my life now, it is always going to be short term and in my most lucid moments I realise that it is never long before I have to start all over again."

"Have you really answered how you feel? You must have spent endless time trying to get him a job with us and when I tell you he might have a chance, you look like you're ready to celebrate."

"Guilty as charged, there's no point in pretending."

David thought cynically that that had probably been the first time Olivia had ever been truly honest and his face probably expressed his disgust amongst other feelings.

"I don't blame you for hating me, it's what I forced you to. But when you were leaving for England I realised that you are my only hope and I am so sorry to say it because I am the image of any man's worst nightmare; you most of all." She turned a little sideways so that two hands held his bicep, leaned across and kissed him on the cheek, then said, "I am sorry I've burdened you again."

A sense of pointlessness came over him, he found himself feeling bereft again, such a waste of life. He just sat there staring into nothing. A stray tear worked its way out of the corner of his eye and made its way slowly down his cheek and she watched it all the way, her own heart, what little there was left of it, broke into a thousand pieces making her feel so wretched that even her demon would not have been able to overcome it.

"You know, the saddest part of all is that your lusts are more important to you than your baby. Maybe if it had been someone else who fathered the baby you might have cared, but with me it has always been a means to an end. How worrying it must have been for you that it might have been Daniel who was his father."