Congratulations!

CONGRATULATIONS

EMAIL TO MILTON

"Congratulations to you, Milton! I bet that you didn't think her former husband would tell you something like that especially after she told you how horrible I and our kids were to her. You probably thought that I might cuss you out or even threaten physical, bodily harm. Believe me that's not the case. I'll try to explain.

"Oh, there was a time I loved Ingrid more than life itself. We married right out of college and our finances were horribly strained. But we worked hard, loved hard and talked frequently about how our struggle to survive would be rewarded later. Together forever - didn't happen.

"As the kids became able to take care of their basic needs, Ingrid seemed to contract what I call 'Pre-Empty Nest Syndrome.' That means that she anticipated the time where the kids were no longer a major part of her life. She started working on a substitute 'hobby' to take the place of her motherly duties time. The problem was that the hobby she chose was serial adultery.

"One of her friends at work convinced her that she had me over a barrel. She could do anything she wanted without having to get my approval. I would do nothing because I would risk losing the house, have to live in close to poverty level by myself, and I would have contact with my kids limited. Worst of all, Ingrid might try to get another man to try to replace me as father to our children. She knew where I was vulnerable to blackmail.

"After having sex one night, I was told what was going to happen. There was no need for discussion, no need for my view to be expressed. She was determined to have an open marriage -- I was not allowed the same privilege. I was advised by her to consult a lawyer if I doubted her version of my future should we divorce. Although I did not want to believe her, I checked it out. She and her friend were right. I was screwed.

"I love my children more than anything else in the world. After being betrayed by my wife, my relationship with them meant more than ever. I moved my things into the guest bedroom. We never had sex again. The kids and I took over the household chores. Ingrid gradually became a slut that sometimes lived in our house. Her only concession to our feelings was to not bring one of her lovers to our house. She justified her actions to our kids as it being 'her turn' to do what she needed to have a satisfying life. She was 'owed.'

"Her search for a 'satisfying' life seemed to be confined to having sex with as many men as possible. The results of her satisfying life included two abortions before the last one rendered her unable to have any more children. She actually celebrated that diagnosis as she could get rid of the condom hassle she had randomly enforced. Her non-use of condoms resulted in so many STDs that she was given her own parking space at the Health Department where she got tested and antibiotics. You may want to find out if she has any lingering venereal diseases. Some were really difficult to treat.

"'How could I put up with that?' you may ask. My broken heart slowly mended thanks to the kids and some understanding women who kept me sane and were willing to help keep it private from Ingrid. The love I had for Ingrid transformed into being worried about her heath -- physical and mental. I am hopeful our recent divorce and your pending marriage means that she is willing now to take care of herself. It is disheartening to see how she looks now compared to the beautiful woman she once was.

"Milton, Ingrid has the potential to be a wonderful wife. I was fortunate to experience several years of her at her best. I hope you get to see that side of her. I have one suggestion: Ignore the people who will say, 'Cheaters always cheat.' It is possible she will not cheat again despite her history of slutty behavior of the last few years. I do, however, recommend that you heed the 'Trust but Verify' admonition towards her.

"In summary, I wish you two the best in your married life. Please do not invite me or the children to your wedding. I'm afraid that I would cry -- for you."

Charles