I am a cuckold. Which means that my wife freely engages in sexual activity with other men, while I'm not allowed to have any kind of sexual relationship outside of our marriage.
Oddly enough it was my sexual desires that got the ball rolling so to speak. While we were dating I was always trying to get her to dominate me sexually. It started when I saw a copy of the erotic-story publication -- Penthouse Variations. Immediately I was drawn to the section titled 'Femdom'. The idea of submitting to a beautiful & powerful woman really turned me. I asked my then girlfriend to try a few things had read about. Nothing too extreme, just the usual handcuffs & spanking.
From there it really grew into a fetish that I craved. It seemed like a constant struggle for me to try and get her to do more in the way of dominance. She had much more vanilla sexual tastes although about once a month she would indulge me in my fantasies. I looked so forward to our 'special nights'. I would fill her head with hints about what I'd like her to do to me. One night I may be 'forced' to wear women's panties and be chastised for being a naughty little girl. Then next time I might 'lose' a wrestling match to her and be made to tongue her ass until she was thoroughly satisfied.
This arrangement continued throughout our dating and into our marriage. However I always felt a little guilty after we would finish a session. Each 'special night' would conclude with my orgasm. As soon as I had cum I wanted nothing to with being submissive or be humiliated in any way. I can remember asking her so many times β "Is there something wrong with me?" She would always answer no and of course by the next day I was back to crave the delicious torment. Eventually the guilt wore off but the fact remained that once I had cum I wanted no more of the kinky stuff, I didn't even want to talk about it.
Things in our marriage weren't going very well after about three years of being wed. Our sex life was the same and neither of us seemed too unhappy with it. But the overall relationship was suffering. We barely did anything together, we didn't have much in common, and our communication was lacking. It was about this time that during our 'special nights' I asked her to role-play a scenario. The idea I had was the she was a cheating wife who had just come back from a date and I was to be made to give her oral sex. For the first time she seemed to really enjoy the role-play! At first I was very concerned. Did she actually want to cheat on me? Was she wanting to develop feelings for another man?
I actually got the nerve up one night after I had cum to ask her about it. She flat out told me that she wasn't interested in cheating on me, but just the idea of her having sex with someone else turned her on. We went on to have a true, open, & honest conversation. Our first in a long time! We talked a lot about sex and what each of us wanted. She explained that she got so turned on by having sex with someone else because she was thinking of it in a purely physical sense. No emotional attachment with the other man and not damaging her current relationship (with me). She had partners before me, albeit not a great number, but they were all boyfriends that she had dated. She never had a one night stand. She asked me if I thought about being with other women. I told her that I occasionally fantasized about it but like her had no intention of cheating on her. She expressed to me that it would hurt her so much if I had sex with someone else because she would automatically equate sex with love. That somehow I would love her less and the other woman more. On the flip side I made mention that if there were no emotional attachments between her and the other man that I would be OK with it. In a strange way it was nice to see that we could have different views on the same subject and express them to each other without getting upset at one another.
For the next few months, things gradually got better between us. Our 'special nights' got hotter also. She really got into the role-playing of her being with another man. Strangely enough my post-cum feelings were disappearing. Even after cumming the idea of her sucking another man's cock and having her getting fucked were still a wonderful image in my head.
One night we were at home together and she had a bowl of grapes in front of her. I am notorious for being a picky eater and I had never even tried a grape. She teased me by offering me some.
"Honey, you want a grape?" she said.
"Yuk...no way!" I protested.
"Aww, come on you've never even tried one before. You might like it."
"No way."