Coming to Terms

{My name is Debra, married to my husband Danny. I am a Doctor, and I head up our local medical clinic. Danny writes all the time, I normally don't.

Danny and I both are getting older, and time without fail gets in the way of life. So, there have been some upsets with Danny, and Medicare has spent close to 100K keeping my man alive which I appreciate.

That is a bit strange since Danny is in exceptional physical shape, more virile than most men in their 30's, yet, one thing after another has popped up in the last couple of years.

Thus he has not written much. I did post a couple of very short tales he had written but left in preview, at his request. I had to fix some typos and add a few things so if those are not very good it's probably my fault.

Anyway, Danny is home now, improving very quickly. He is back to 170 pounds now, he was 240 when we first met in my office a decade ago. At 160 pounds, that was a major worry for me, but now, he is showing strength, becoming my Danny again.

He encouraged me to write, telling me I have quite a tale to tell, while laughing as he mentioned some of the antics we have shared. That screwball sense of humor he has shows that he is still Danny in there.

He told me to "write just like you might talk" and it would be just fine. I am not so sure about that, but here is my attempt at my story.}

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I am a Doctor, I run a small medical clinic here on the Oregon coast. At one time, I was a Registered Nurse Practitioner, and quite content. I was mostly running the clinic while Doctor Barker, our required on staff Physician pretended to.

Then Old Doc Barker died, at age 84. His job was to handle any signing off on anything official, our jobs (the rest of us are Nurses) was mostly to keep any attractive females OUT of his office.

That was a standing joke around our clinic, if some lady came in with a sore toe, left to his own devices Doctor Barker would have them gowned up and in the stirrups. We all knew of a few concerns which meant it was a good thing his career spanned that period when no one paid any attention to what Doctors did.

Now in today's world, this can create all sorts of conflicts, and it could even end up with charges. In the medical world of 30-40 years ago, the Doctor got to do just about anything they wanted to. No one said anything, or even mentioned what happened in the Physician's office.

I know for a fact that lots of things happened, but none of us ever said anything, it was just the way it was. Our Doc Barker was a bit of a pervert, he even had some porno magazines hidden in his desk, another standing joke around our clinic.

Plus he smoked his cigars in his office and kept a few bottles of booze in there. He was 84-85 years old (I am not sure on that) when one of the nurses found him in his chair, a cigar still burning in his ash tray, half a shot of Wild Turkey in a glass on his desk. He had just fallen asleep and then was gone, no better way to go in my opinion.

Big problem here, a major shortage of physicians everywhere.

So, the system I work for asked me to take over, fine but I had to be a Doctor. I had planned early on to become one, but after nearly seven years of starving, plus the constant 30 hours and more long shifts towards the end, (you probably think I am kidding about that, I'm not!) I then took a job as a nurse. The pay was less than a Doctor would make but I liked the job.

Since there was only one year left for my degree, our medical system paid for that in exchange for a contract where I agreed to work here for one full decade, run the clinic as the on staff physician.

A bit ahead of myself here, this all happened just a couple years ago, well after Danny and I got married.

The increase in pay would have been enough, them paying for the rest of my schooling was just a bonus. Of course, there is a major shortage of Doctors in this country, the reason of course is that it takes 8-12 years to train a Physician, and the serious shortage affects the small communities more than the large cities.

Larger areas of course pay more, by quite a bit.

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OK. So that is the recent part, how I became a nurse is a story all by itself.

I was in college, my freshman year, studying business. No idea at all what I really wanted to do with my life, like so many just like me.

I was also one of those very rare young ladies, a virgin. Rare because I was almost 19 years old, terribly shy, and the closest I had come to having sex was when a boy got his hand inside my bra after a date once.

I managed to get him to stop, after a struggle. He even had his pants unbuttoned and his penis was sticking out, I had never even seen a real one before, just photos.

That scared me which is why I put up such a struggle. I knew all about how those things could cause pregnancy, plus no one had ever been "down there."

Then weeks later, at a ball game, a young man was sitting not far away, and I realized with a shock that his penis was dangling down out of the edge of his shorts.

I kept looking, then saw that he was looking back at me with a smirk. I blushed, mortified at having been caught, jumped up and ran.

But that was all I could think about, and back at my apartment I masturbated in the bathroom to thoughts of seeing that. Things were changing inside of me, I realized that and it worried me. Suddenly I found myself looking at every boy I saw, wondering what that part of them looked like.

Later, I mentioned seeing him to one of the other girls, she just laughed and told me boys did things like that all the time.

Then my roommate and I got ahold of some pot and were getting stoned, and were talking about boys. I admitted to her that seeing that made me just crazy hot, she laughed and told me I should go to nursing school, I could then see all of those I wanted to.

That was funny, we both laughed but I thought about that for days after.

So, I switched from business to nursing.

Right about that time I was also thinking there was something wrong with me, girls just are not interested in looking and touching. At least I thought so, probably part of my rather sheltered upbringing.

All of the other girls I knew talked about boys and what they had in their pants, how big they were, how hard they got, how long they lasted having sex.

In class, from some of the discussions, I discovered I was not alone in liking the idea of seeing and touching male genitals! That was an amazing realization and completely at odds with everything I had been taught as a young girl.

So yes, I am one of those women that back then, and to this very day is fascinated by male genitalia. Oh, I learned my bedside manner, you cannot tell I enjoy looking and touching, but I do.

I kept that bottled up inside, and I still do, using the times I did get to see and touch someone as fantasies at my private moments.

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Then I suddenly had a boyfriend, his name was Nathan. Probably as normal as a relationship can be, and he seemed to like me. So, I let him have sex with me, finally, of course I had no idea at all what it could be like. But all of the other girls were having sex all of the time, at least from what they were saying anyway.

I just decided it was my turn, so I got some pills and condoms to carry around. Although when it did happen, I forgot the condom.

It felt good, and did not hurt. I know today why it did not hurt, I had already had things inside of me that were way bigger than Nathan was. So I accepted the idea of sex the way it was, and he asked me to marry him and I did. To make a long story short, that lasted a few years, then we broke up.

It seemed I was not enough for him. After all, I gave myself up to him, if he could go with someone else, do that with some other woman then he didn't care about me. He cried, he carried on, even stalked me some, tried everything to no avail. If he could go have sex with some other woman when I was right there and willing, then he just could not really love me.

It took me quite some time to understand that I never did really love Nathan, I just liked him which is a huge difference.

My 2nd husband was also a Nurse, that marriage lasted just 3 years, same reason for it ending. Men, for some reason, like variety it appears. I personally did not care about sexual variety, one man was enough for me, that plus at work I got to see and touch men nearly every single day.

Deep inside I felt guilty, of course I did. But I also liked it, I liked it a lot! It was almost like I was cheating, yet it was OK in a way since it was my job.

During that time, I must have seen and touched literally thousands of male genitalia. I had come to the point where I admitted to myself that I liked it very much. Still, in the medical profession, there are ethics. So while I could look, and touch, and get a certain fantasy satisfaction from that, there was nothing more I could do about it, not really.

I also was as careful as I could be to not let on that looking and touching had an effect on me. But, let's face it, most males are just normal, but every once in awhile along came a man with an especially beautiful penis. Oh, my God, when that happened. I remember especially one guy, his penis made a mild curve back towards his belly, the tip just touching his navel. I touched it with my latex covered fingers and barely managed to avoid reaching a climax from just that. Then, glancing upwards, his eyes were on me and he had a grin on his face. I was caught and I know I tuned every shade of red possible.

Until I came to work at the current clinic, that was my life. The specialty at my new job was Geriatrics, although we also saw other patients for everything that one can imagine.

Older males often have sexual concerns, swollen Prostates, no end to the issues. They also have a very tough time talking about it, so they drop hints. To me, that seemed silly, but I also learned how to steer them into the conversations I knew they wanted to have.

I learned to just ask them in a matter of fact manner, always acting like talking about ex and concerns over sex was the most normal thing in the world.

Nearly without fail, the response would be positive, then I would have them drop their pants and gown up. Doing a simply Prostate exam breaks the ice, let's face it, that is a very intimate act even in that situation. But once that was done, it was like they nearly always felt far more free about discussing the sexual aspects of their lives. Let me tell you, I learned a LOT, and things they never taught us in school.

I got to sit right there in front of them on my little roller stool, feel their testicles, grasp and turn their penis this way and that. A few would erect, the surprise here might be that it really is just a few.

I really liked the ones that still had their foreskins, I could slide that back carefully, almost without fail those would begin to firm up. I got a lot of apologies, to which I always answered that it is just a perfectly normal and healthy response. That was fun, I would then take some extra time inspecting when I found a nice one.

"It appears to be well formed" and "All seems to be in working order." Became a common part of my vocabulary. I also found my share of not normal, which of course meant a referral to our Urology department.

With some I would order a sperm sample, of course most of the time I sent them to one of the little rooms to take care of that themselves. Not very many clinic actually take sperm samples, of course, as I am sure many of you readers know.

At my clinic, we do, and fairly regularly. We check for bacteria, blood, volume, sperm counts, all sorts of things.

But, every once in awhile, when it became clear that getting the sample was a problem, I would then send in Jennifer. Jennifer was in her middle 40's, no nonsense, and she could yank out a sample before the patient even knew what was happening.

That sometimes became part of the discussions we had in the office lunch room, which was hilarious.

Which meant that in our clinic, some things became completely normal that may not be very normal in the vast majority of other medical offices. The reason was simple, ALL of us who worked there had similar likes. I am certain that the reason was because I mentioned a few times how much I enjoyed those inspections, the other Nurses then admitted they did also.

We all began to have fun at work, as we worked together to get some of the male clients in situations where they ended up naked in front of two, a few times even three of us at once.

What I did notice is, in short order our clinic became way more busy than it was at first. As it turns out, you men will sit at home and die before coming in to see us, so things like we were doing really made a difference.

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And that is how I met my Danny. He came in for his Medicare physical. His first appointment was with Olivia, one of my office partners. Olivia was on the large side, she wore heavy pullover tops, with cartoon characters sewn on the front of them.

No nonsense at all with that lady.

Later, Olivia mentioned "this older guy" who came in. Something about him was all she said, which I understood, a very few clients have gotten me hotter than a pistol over the years.

"That guy is fucking hilarious!" Was part of her comments.

I promptly forgot all about that, until a few weeks later I looked at my schedule and here was his name.

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I was surprised when I saw Danny for the first time. From Olivia's comments, I expected some hunk.

Danny was a tad over six feet, in the 240 pound range, mildly balding with spackles of gray in his hair. Plus he was 65 years old, certainly not a strapping young man by any stretch of the imagination.

And yes. He was hilarious, his comments were quick, sarcastic, funny and something rang a bell as he talked about everything under the Sun, almost all at once. I read one person that commented that Danny's mind was like a steel trap. That is pretty close, I think.

When he mentioned a story he had written, a bell rang in my mind.

I read Literotica, like I mentioned, I might be female but I like sex and sexy stories. I do not even remember how the subject came up, Danny had posted the story and it was the most commented that same day. He was proud of that, all writers love to be appreciated, I guess.

His real last name clinched it for me, I knew right then that he was the author of some stories I had read and liked. That and the fact that some of his descriptions of the area sounded like our little coastal town.

"Are you.. Magmaman?" I asked bluntly.

Danny turned bright red, and I knew. What are the odds on THAT? One of my favorite erotic writers, sitting in MY office, nothing on but a gown? I mean, wow! I had just had my finger up his behind, and also checked out his perhaps a bit larger than average penis, which by the way, did not respond at all?

My last time in bed with a man was a Doctor some years back, he was sort of no big deal. The sex was OK, but that was all. But this man, this Danny? Something was different, what, I do not know to this day. I found myself wondering, what would he be like? Now I have done that before, had a small fantasy during an exam, but not like this one.

I have no explanation.

Danny made me wet! So much so, that after he left, I went into our restroom and masturbated, something I almost never do at work.

OK. I got kind of aggressive at his follow up a couple of weeks later, one thing led to another and Danny was taking me out to dinner. That led to dancing, a couple of drinks, more fun than I had in years.

At my place, I took his hand and sort of tugged him inside, then I kissed him, not the other way around. Next I shoved my hand down the front of his pants and grabbed his dick for the 2nd time in my life.

No glove on this time! To say Danny was surprised would be a huge understatement, but as soon as my blouse and bra were off and he had his hands on my bare titties, I was in charge.

Ok, I admit it. I sort of.. raped him. If one can rape the willing, that is. Not once, but 2 and one half times!

The next day we did it again, then again that afternoon. People talk about fucking each other senseless, up until that moment I had no clue. I do know I had the most powerful orgasms I ever experienced in my entire life.

Even when married, and experiencing regular sexual activity, even as a single woman and living a life of solo sexuality and fantasy, there just was no comparison!

Why? I have no clue, it was just Danny, and something about that man.

Not those little ones, you women readers know what I mean. The soft and pleasant kind, those make you feel good and all warm inside. The kind you get when with a lover you are well practiced with. And all of us know all about sex feeling good but no climax, sometimes that is just fine too.

No, these were explosive, the type that turn you into a quivering mass of flesh, completely out of control. Those are.. well.. amazing!

By the next day I knew. I wanted Danny, he was mine and going to stay mine.. forever! I wanted his penis in my mouth, in my body, all of the time! In just one short week he was already at my house 90% of the time, I would wake him up with my mouth on him.

It took me just three months, and when I asked him to marry me, he said "sure."

Yes, I asked him and he said.. "Sure." Like I mentioned, I can be a bit aggressive when I want to be.

Besides, I was stark naked and sitting astride his chest at the moment, how was he going to say no?

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That next few years was the happiest time of my life. I wanted to please Danny, and one thing about me that is pretty common with Nurses is that there is seldom any such thing as jealousy.

That is because we deal with sexuality all the time, we see people in various stages of nudity, we do things to them that are easily as intimate as their lovers might do.

Danny and I did a few things best described as naughty, like getting massages at home. I knew how much he loved sexual touching, so I set that up with one of the nurses on staff at our nearby hospital.

That probably is different all by itself, I was letting my man get happy endings because I wanted him to be happy. Now some might look down on me for that but to me it was just hands and touch, and sexuality is just a part of life.

Danny liked it and I liked him being pleased. Does that make any sense? I am not sure, but it was what we were doing, and it became.. normal?

That evolved, we did some couples massage down in Reno while on vacation, there was a bit of exhibitionism, a lady friend from our local gym named Sid (really) got me up on stage at some men's club down the coast, stripping. Yes, me, naked on stage in front of about 30 old men, nude?

Silly stuff, but also fun, exciting. I did it because Danny loved it, I already knew it excited him when I wore low cut tops, and many times I would relate experiences in my office to him in detail. This had the wonderful result of him getting those rock solid erections, I say wonderful because my Danny was well into his sixties. He was easily as virile as any 30 year old.

There seemed to be no end to naughty stuff in our lives, like letting a maid catch us having sex on the carpet in our room, me wearing a very see though bra and answering the door for room service, running around the casino with no panties on, but neither one of us ever had actual sex with anyone else. There just was no need, or any real desire to.

Now, thinking about it all, what happened might be due to all of that, and probably it was my own fault.

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I found myself back in medical school, my age was about 3 times what the rest of the students were. Most of them lived in the dorm on campus, I rented a nice apartment a couple of miles away, and there was a bus that went by at the perfect times so I didn't even need a vehicle.