In my younger days, I had always been frisky. I not only enjoyed the sex, but also the thrill of the chase. I put all that behind me when, at 25, I married. We had our first child a few years later. Motherhood took its toll, however, and I found as I approached 28 years of age that I was turning fewer heads. Not that I am ugly: I'm a natural blond, with long legs on a 5'10" frame. Since I'm still breastfeeding, my breasts are large with milk and have soft protruding nipples. I have worked hard to get my figure back. My butt is really starting to tighten up, and my waist is much slimmer than it was, and I feel great about that.
My husband and I had argued all last spring about when we would have our next child. I wanted to do it before I got too much older. He wanted to wait a few years. Without telling him, I stopped taking my birth control pills. As spring gave way to summer, our arguments grew. When a couple of my old university friends asked me to go out with them, I readily agreed, feeling I needed a break. Years ago, I would have spent hours dressing to kill before going out. My choice in clothes was now more 'practical'. It was hot that night so I wore an old pair of runners, loose track pants and an oversized sweater. Since I was still breastfeeding Jason, my nipples were tender, so I went braless. In the mirror, I saw someone who looked dull, lifeless.
A popular band was playing in the club that night so the place was packed. We had to share our table with a group of young guys. At first they were shy, but eventually they began flirting with us. Being older and married, we were all flattered by the attention and happy to play along. One of my friends, Helen, was soon lost in conversation with a guy called Mike. Sheila, the bold one, had made friends with a fellow called Tony. Halfway through the first set, I noticed his hand had found its way to her knee. I had paired up with a guy named Bob. I discovered that he was majoring in 19th century English literature. Between sets, we talked about life in a more romantic era. It had been a long time since I had spoken of such things, and it felt great to have a handsome young man pay such close attention to an old hag like me.
The tease in me came out to play that night. As we talked I would look deep into his eyes. Then, when I wanted to emphasize a point, I would touch him with my fingertips: sometimes on the hand, sometimes on the arm, and once on the knee. The first time I did this, he jumped as if he'd been electrocuted. I enjoyed watching him react. I had forgotten what it felt like to control a man with a few simple touches. They really are primitive creatures. I suppose I also complained a little about married life and the drudgery of motherhood.
As midnight approach, I realized that my son had been in bed for a long while, and that my husband was probably asleep too. Feeling guilt familiar to most mothers, I told Bob that I had to leave soon. He offered to walk me to my car, some distance away. We walked along a path overlooking the river that runs beside the campus. Scattered clouds hung in the night sky. The moon was full. The air was warm. After the din of the club, the tranquility was overwhelming. Bob asked if I wanted to climb down the bank and walk along the river's edge. I had always enjoyed the wildness of the river's edge more than the manicured path, so I agreed.
As we climbed down the rocky embankment, he took my hand to steady me. Chivalrous, I thought, remembering our earlier conversation. Halfway down, the gravel gave way beneath my feet and I lost my balance. Bob was there to catch me. We began to make our way along the river's edge. The dew glistened in the moonlight. It was beautiful, but it also made the footing treacherous. I slipped again. Bob offered me his hand. This time I kept hold of it hand as we walked along.
It had been years since I had walked hand in hand, alone with a man, in the moonlight. We came to a rock outcropping that overlooked the river, accessible through a narrow path. I had often gone there in years past. Being secluded, it was popular with lovers. Wanting to see if it was still as I remembered it, I led him forward. We emerged into a small clearing.
We stood admiring the view. The river spread out before us, sparkling in the reflected light of the moon, the night air soft and warm. I felt his presence close behind me. "It's beautiful," I said. "As are you," he said. "Right," I said mockingly. I then felt him rest his hand gently on my shoulder. I said nothing. I didn't know what to say. The fingers of his hand then began to trace their way gently down my back. My heart was pounding, my breath shallow. I tried to tell myself that this was all very innocent, but I no longer felt 'lifeless'. Emboldened by my acquiescence, he whispered, "You really are beautiful," to which I replied "I'm also married."
He then turned me toward him. We stood inches apart. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. "Close your eyes" he whispered. I did as told. I could feel his breath upon me. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Deep inside, I knew I wanted him to touch me. Then I felt his hands tilt my head up and begin caressing my face like it was the most beautiful thing in all of God's creation. I felt his lips kiss me tenderly on my forehead, on my cheeks and neck. "We shouldn't be doing this," I whispered, even as I let my face be showered with kisses. "We need to stop" I breathed in his ear ... but my body sent him a very different message as my arms encircled him.
He then drew my face toward him until our lips met. It was not long before I was gently returning his kisses. His lips parted. I felt his tongue. I responded, and the passion of our kissing grew hot, wet, and intense. I felt like I was back in high school, on one of my first dates. The thrill of romance was back in my life. I felt alive for the first time in years.
I quivered when one of his hands moved to the small of my back and drew my body close to his. Betrayed by emotion, I pressed myself against him and felt his growing hardness. A wife and mother, here I was, locked in a passionate embrace with a stranger. I felt a wicked surge of excitement when his left hand slipped under my T-shirt and begin to caress my bare back. "We should stop," I said, doing nothing to stop him. "Someone might see," I added. I was no longer thinking straight. I could feel my heart racing. I felt like a confused teenager. I should never have let myself get into this situation. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but when I felt his hand roaming further up my back, I confess I enjoyed it.