Again thanks to angel-love for editing.
This is the conclusion to Coming Full Circle.
"I'll call you tomorrow and we can find a time to talk." With that I opened the door. As I went out the door I heard her say, "My God, what have I done?" That was all I heard as I shut the door and threw up my wonderful dinner.
I managed to get to my car and close the door. I just sat there for a moment, too emotionally stunned to move. I suddenly realized that I loved this woman more than I could understand. She had hurt me more than I thought possible but even so, I still loved her. I wasn't sure I could forgive her and that scared me more than anything else. I also realized at that moment that I wanted Sharon. I needed her.
I pulled out my cell and called her. She answered right away. She must have known it was me because she answered with, "Charlie, is that you?" The sound of her voice calmed me down and made things seem manageable again.
"Yea, it's me. I need to see you now. Can you come to the room or can I come pick you up? I really need to talk to you." I didn't think I could go on if she didn't let me see her.
"I'll come to you. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Wait for me and don't do anything stupid." How could she know what I was thinking? Actually, I wasn't thinking right at the moment. Maybe she could tell me what the hell I was supposed to do now. The woman I loved was fucking another man and didn't think it was even important. His wife was fucking me and I knew it was important! If this wasn't a conundrum I didn't know what one was.
I got to the room just a few minutes before she did. When she knocked on the door, I hurled it open and grabbed her and pulled her to me. I held her there in the doorway of the Radisson Hotel while I just shook. Why was it that this young wife whose husband was cheating on her could comfort me while my wife left me angry and cold?
"Tell me what happened. Did you see Ilene and did you hear her out? What happened Charlie?" She just held me and waited for me to calm down. I did, finally, but only because I wanted to look at her and remember her as she was last night. She moved into the room and shut the door. She sat down on the bed and waited for me to begin.
I told her of my conversation with Ilene: the lack of remorse, the lack of emotion, the attitude and all of it. I told her that I got sick after I left and only the thought of her made everything tolerable. I told her that the woman I loved apparently thought I should just forgive her and forget it happened since it meant nothing to her. I was not supposed to care that she did it and that she did it again and again, lying to me and cheating on me and betraying our marriage. I went on and on for 15 minutes while she simply listened to me.
"You have to forgive her, you know. You and I both know that there was no love involved and the sex wasn't even good for her. I bet she told you that didn't she? Peter was just a diversion for a woman who had it all and was bored with it. She had the perfect husband and home and family and there was no challenge to it anymore. Why wasn't it enough? I don't know and probably she doesn't either. You know she'll never do it again. She can't. Not now that she knows what it might cost her." Sharon was wise beyond her years, but I wasn't sure I could just accept it. I wasn't there yet.
"Tell me Charlie. Do you still love her? Can you picture your life without her in it? Can you just go on without her and live like nothing is missing? I don't think you can. You are a decent guy and it is in you to forgive if you can find the key." She got up and went to the window and just stared out, waiting for me to catch up to her. As I did, I realized that I had not asked what happened to her.
"Tell me about Peter? What happened when you went home this morning? Was he angry? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry, I never asked. I was so wrapped up in my own grief that I forgot about yours."
"Peter was asleep when I got home. I didn't wake him. I just sat there and tried to think about what I wanted. I went back to the bedroom and just stared at him until it came to me: I couldn't live without him. I love him Charlie, in spite of what he is: weak and spineless and inconsiderate and all of those things. But I still love him. What does that make me?"
"It makes you a wonderful and caring wife. You love your husband and I love my wife and they have taken our hearts and shit on them. But as you say, we have to find the key to forgive them."
"What are you going to do? Were you able to talk to him after he woke up? Did he apologize and beg you to stay? What happened?" I wondered why she was so quick to come to me.
"We talked and he apologized and told me that this wasn't the first time. I suspected but now I know for sure. I told him that I needed time to think and that I couldn't be there for him now. I had to take care of myself. He wanted to know what he could do to make it easier on me and I told him nothing. I am considering moving out for a while and I told him that. I also told him about you and me. I didn't tell him who you were but I think he might have an idea. He cried but didn't get mad. He said he deserved it and that he wouldn't try to stop me. He only hoped I would come back to him." She began to cry softly. I went to her and held her. She felt so good in my arms.
"You can take an apartment if you want to. We have that agreement with Conrad for an indefinite period. I would do it if I were you. Of course, part of that's just me wanting you away from him. But I will respect any decision you make." I did hope that she didn't go back to him, but I realized that was just selfishness.
As I held her, I felt her begin to move against me. I was surprised, as she had said this morning that we had to end this. I waited to see what she would do. Her arms went around me and dropped to my waist. She pulled me tight against her and looked up at me with a smile.
"If you want to explore, you might be surprised." Her look was the one she used last night: sexy and teasing. I slid my hands over her back and felt no bra strap. What was this? I slid my hands down to her cute ass and felt for panty lines. None! Well, now this was more like it.
"You aren't planning to go home are you? You planned to stay tonight even though you told me earlier that we had to stop this. Please, I don't mean to criticize but are you sure this is what you want to do with your marriage in trouble?" I wanted her to stay but I didn't want to take advantage of her.
"I need time away from Peter. He cheated on me more than once and I need to learn how I want to deal with it. You give me strength and confidence. With you I feel that I can make the right choices. If I stay with him, I will just let him talk me into forgiving him and going back to the way we were. I don't want to do that." With that, she moved to the bed and took off her blouse and skirt. She stood there looking at me in all her glory. God she was beautiful!
I went to her and stripped off my own clothes. We stood there together, nude with nothing to hide from each other. She pulled me down to the bed and I kissed her with a passion that I had been missing with Ilene for some time. I moved quickly down to her wet sex and began to pleasure her with my tongue and fingers. Once again she climaxed easily. I continued to pleasure her while she held my head close to her. I was in no hurry and she was enjoying my actions. She whispered my name and told me how much she enjoyed what I was doing. As she began to rise to another climax, her words became more personal and erotic.