I hated Teri Lee. I hated her because she was a smug bitch who said horrible things behind your back. I hated her because she was the company brown-noser who climbed past others more qualified than her using flattery and obsequiousness rather than skill and determination. I hated her because she was more than willing to dump on someone else if it made her look better. And, I hated her because she hated me.
And she hated me, mostly I suppose, because rather than falling in line with the other office lackeys in their sickening efforts to ingratiate themselves with her, I was more than willing to call her on her shit. I didn't go out of my way to cause a problem, but more than a few times I put her in her place. Of course, as a fellow manager, I was in a better position to push back than some of the other guys, and so I did.
We argued about office policy. We disagreed on hirings and firings and promotions. She accused me of favoring my friends and I returned the favor. And, we had completely different styles of management. She was an anal retentive perfectionist, endlessly evaluating and correcting the staff, always looking for a problem even if there wasn't one. She was more than willing to belittle or marginalize anyone that, somehow, didn't make it into her little circle of sycophantic friends. I believed in a more relaxed environment and had a tendency to ignore rules that I didn't think mattered and while I didn't particularly like some of the people in the office, I think I made a good faith effort to be fair.
And so, there'd been a sort of cold war between us for a long time, endless little disagreements, snide remarks and, at least on her part, low level backstabbing. But this was all pretty small stuff before the real war finally erupted between us.
The whole thing started when I got an e-mail that had also gone to HR about an unfortunate joke that Gabriel Prince, one of the actuaries, had told during office hours. It was a crude little story about a woman who became more interested in a man when she found out he was 'half donkey', and of course, Gabe, who had a history of relating ribald stories, foolishly elected to tell it to a large audience at lunch-time. Naturally a couple of the more uptight women, protégé's of Teri, saw an opportunity to get upset, and immediately informed Teri of the incident.
Right away, Teri demanded a formal reprimand, at least, and possible reassignment. I was pretty sure he wouldn't get reassigned, but knowing how a reprimand would cause issues for him when his yearly review came up, I strongly argued against it. E-mails were shot back and forth and then phone calls and, finally, some face to face conversations and group meetings, some of which became fairly heated. But I thought reason would eventually prevail and I was pretty sure I had control of the situation.
All that changed at a monthly divisional review meeting that all the various managers and some of the higher level associates, including Gabriel Prince, attended. We were reviewing practices and policies and, as usual, Teri had essentially commandeered the meeting to endlessly critique behavior and to point out how we were technically in violation of corporate policy when the strictest interpretation of the rules was taken into account. Her goal, it seemed, was to make everything we did subject to company rules, with her playing the role of a sort of Orwellian enforcer. But, this was nothing new and we listened to her drone on in relative boredom until she dropped a bomb.
As part of her 'concern' for the loose way we'd been following policy, she brought up and described, in general terms, the 'joke incident' and then, actually used the Gabe's name, at which time several people in attendance made furtive glances over to a now bright red Gabriel Prince. She went on to talk about how that sort of thing compromised the 'working environment' and that every person's emotional comfort must be valued and respected. She finished her little diatribe with an explosive statement.
"This sort of violation of corporate policy must be taken seriously and I'm bringing this issue up now, so that we can act as soon as possible. I believe we should hold an emergency meeting of the personnel committee and ask for a suspension without pay until HR's review is finished and when HR's review is out, consider any disciplinary action they suggest to be the minimal punishment we apply."
Her last statement sucked all the air out of the room leaving a dead silence. I was so taken aback that I found myself simply replaying her last statement, and its implications, over and over again in my mind, too stunned to offer any kind of an immediate rebuttal. Finally, though, when it became clear no one else was going to speak, I cleared my throat and began to talk as carefully as possible.
"Look I'm pretty familiar with the situation and I think this is an easily correctable issue and I'm pretty sure it can be handled without going nuclear here. I think we can wait for HR to gather all the facts and act after they've got some sort of a recommendation."
She rolled her eyes, shook her head and with a disgusted, pinched look, spit out her venom.
"Mr. Prince's actions were way over the line and what he said amounts to de facto sexual harassment and makes it a very uncomfortable working environment for the rest of the women here."
A few of her closest allies grunted in support, nodding their heads together like life sized bobble dolls in business dress. I grit my teeth in response and glanced over to Gabe, raising my eyebrows. I'd told him before the meeting to apologize publically and he recognized my signal, swallowed hard and started to speak.
"Look, Teri, I'm sorry, it was just a joke-a bad joke- that I admit was inappropriate..."
Teri's face clouded immediately. "That's Ms. Lee to you Mr. Prince..."
Gabe's face turned even redder and he stammered out another apology.
"L...L...look...Te...Ms. Lee, I'm sorry about the joke but I guess I thought..."
"That's the problem Mr. Prince. You didn't think. You simply added to an uncomfortable working environment. I'm not going to allow the women in this department to be subjected to this kind of abuse."
I was trying to look neutral, stay above the bickering and maintain a dispassionate demeanor, but I'd had enough, more than enough, and broke in with a little more force than I'd intended.
"Abuse? Really? He told a joke, and, as far as I was informed, most everyone there, the men and the women, thought it was funny enough to laugh at even though it was crude. They couldn't have been too offended."
Teri turned quickly and gave me a furious look. "I don't care who thought it was funny Grant..."
I held a hand up to stop her, trying as hard as possible to keep a serious look on my face without smirking. "That's Mr. Simmons to you..."
She took a deep breath in, her nostrils flaring with poorly concealed anger as her face turned a fiery shade of pink.
"Well...Mr. Simmons," she said using a clipped tone, spitting out my last name as though it was an epithet. "The problem isn't whether it's funny to some people or not. The problem is that some...many...of the women I work with did find it offensive and debasing. I personally talked to every woman in my division after the incident and they were nearly unanimous in their objection."
I sighed loudly. "Of course they were. They're all afraid to cross you and so they gave you the answer you wanted to hear. Let's face it, some of those very women laughed at that joke and probably repeated it, but none of them want to get on your bad side so now they claim it upset them."
Teri was still shaking her head. "Your...reluctance...to face up to the situation here is disturbing, Mr. Simmons. The women in this company deserve..."
"The women in this company," I interrupted forcefully, "are about as likely to tell an off colored joke or make some sexualized observation about the men as the men are about the women."
Teri laughed derisively. "Don't be ridiculous. The problem here, and everywhere with regard to sexual harassment, is men. Women simply don't contribute to this problem here or any other workplace, for that matter."
I was utterly flabbergasted that she'd make that kind of an assertion and found myself unable to speak for a moment.
"Are you saying that men are the only ones that ever create these kinds of issues? That they are the only ones that violate corporate behavioral standards?"
