I stared in stunned silence at the two short messages on my screen as my body went first tingly, and then numb. Sara obviously hadn't needed to type out what was surely being inferred.
I realized that she had only risked suggesting it feeling quite certain that there was a good chance I would say yes...
My mind reflexively snapped to some of the naughtier scenarios I'd allowed myself to envision over the proceeding days as I sat there in a stupor.
As the shock began to wear off I felt myself raise the phone, and almost reflexively type back, my mind still reeling...
'Uh, sure. If you want to'
Her response came immediately.
'We're only going if you want to as well!'
It was the closest we had come to actually formally discussing what had been going unsaid between the two of us over the past week. I allowed my mind and emotions to wash over me in a moment of contemplation. Did I
really
want this to happen??
I surely understood what this actually meant...
In hindsight I already knew what my answer was going to be...
My fingers poised over the screen of my phone.
'Ok. We can go. Say yes'
- - — - — - - - - — - - - —
Nothing more was spoken about it between us as I waited for the weekend nervously. On Saturday morning Sara dropped Chloe off at tennis practice and advised that she was going for groceries while I was doing some yard work. Upon her return an hour later I helped her retrieve the bags from the car, bringing them into the kitchen. She held up a finger as she noticed a call coming in from her boss and she retreated back out onto the sunny driveway to take it.
In an attempt to be helpful I began to unpack the bags and put away the groceries, something she would traditionally do.
Milk. Lettuce. Tomatoes. Condoms.
The blood in my veins ran cold as I held the navy blue Durex box in my hand.
It was impossible to miss the large white 'XL' symbol...
'Maximum XL. Longer and wider. Extra large for big time pleasure'
it boasted.
I realized with chagrin that it wasn't a small box of 3 or 4. The bottom corner indicated that it contained 12.
I noticed my hands physically jittering as I replaced the condoms in the grocery bag and then re-packed the contents I had already laid out on the counter. Leaving the groceries to Sara I retreated upstairs to the bedroom.
The condoms were the first tacit indication that this was actually going to happen, and the sudden 'reality' of it sent me spinning.
As I entered the bedroom all of my senses felt heightened. In those moments each direction I turned provided some bright and flashing indication of the path that we were headed upon. Earlier that morning I had paid no attention to the small pile of Sara's clothes on her side of the bed. Now as I walked past I couldn't help but notice the series of three bras that sat out on top of the pile. I recognized each of them. They were ones she would traditionally reserve for 'nights out' or even 'nights in' when she wanted to wear something sexy. My eyes settled on the purple demi-bra on top. I knew from experience that the half cups served to provide a significant amount of cleavage.
As I entered the bathroom my eyes were drawn to the side of the tub. Sara had taken a bath earlier that morning. I would generally pay little mind to the small collection of soaps and skin care products on the tub surround. But my eyes immediately zeroed in on the bottle of hair removal gel and her razor that sat conspicuously out front.
I briefly sat on the side of the bed to regain my composure. Every indication was that my wife was preparing herself to have sex with someone else tonight... and in response my own dick was hard and tenting uncomfortably against my underwear.
- - — - — - - - - — - - - —
The funny part was that nothing at Jack's seemed out of the ordinary. The game was actually quite entertaining. The pizza that we'd ordered in was excellent. Beer and wine had been in supply. It was really no different than any of the other nights that we'd been in each other's company. Given what we knew was about to take place it was remarkable that the three of us had somehow stoically managed to avoid acknowledging it in
any
fashion.
Sara wore a loose tank top and a pair of yoga pants which stretched tightly around her ample bum. Anytime she stretched or bent over throughout the evening I found myself imagining her nude bum, upturned, and being worked on by Jack the last time we'd been here. The tight pants displayed no visible underwear line and I imagined that she had kept with the 'thong' theme of previous. She had shooshed me out of the bedroom as she was getting ready earlier so I had no idea of what lingerie she had chosen. I gathered that the tease of 'keeping me guessing' was part of her preparation.
With the game finished and the 'social' part of the evening drawing to a close Sara began to straighten things up around the living room. She retrieved the stack of blankets and pillow that Jack had earlier set out by the stairs and brought them over to the couch. She rummaged through her bag to find her toiletries case and made some small adjustments before returning to the kitchen where Jack and I were watching some of the post-game highlights. As the final minutes of the broadcast ticked down Sara finished off her glass of wine and I could sense her nervousness.
Jack had placed the final dishes in the dishwasher and as he moved from the kitchen into the living room Sara indicated towards the stairwell.
"I'll be up in a minute"
she advised him. I could hear the nerves palpably in her voice.
Jack surveyed the two of us, nodded in agreement and proffered a simple
"Night"
to me before following Sara's guidance and heading for the stairs so that the two of us could be alone.
I felt her arms wrap around me as she pulled me in.
Neither of us said anything for a moment.
"We don't have to if you don't want to"
she finally murmured softly.
"Do you not want to?"
I countered.
It was really the first time we were acknowledging what was about to happen using actual words and not just metaphors or cues.
"No, I do"
she slowly nodded.
