Clueless Joe

This is a fictional story and the people involved have no resemblance to anyone living or dead.

Fiction in this context means the events written about are possible but not necessarily probable. Remember, there are 8 billion people on this planet so this could be a true story somewhere.

All characters having sex in this story are 18 years of age or older.

Clueless Joe

What will happen when Joe finds out?

Since it was Friday and I'd just dropped off my Volvo to be serviced, I decided to have the service guy take me home instead of back to the office. He would drop it back to me on his way home. It was a warm late Spring afternoon and there was some yard work waiting at home that made my decision for me.

We have a large back yard and I was on the back property line raking leaves when I saw my brother's red Corvette pull into our driveway. Great, I thought. "The only time he comes here is to borrow something that he seldom brings back.

As I got near the driveway, I heard my son Sam call out "Hey Dad. What brings you to the land of wimps?"

Dad? Why did my son call my brother Dad? And why is this the land of the wimps?

My brother responded "I'm bringing back Uncle Joe's circular saw. I accidently cut the electrical cord. He needs to get it fixed so I can finish my project at home. Is Clueless Joe around?"

Clueless Joe? My name is Joe and I hardly think of myself as clueless. Maybe I am? Maybe I should just stay on the outside of the garage and listen to this offensive conversation? Of course, I turned on my cell phone to record the conversation.

Sam spouted "Clueless' car isn't here; he rarely comes home before 5 and I try not to spend much time with him anyway. So, no I don't think he's home. Say, now that school is out, when am I going to be able to spend some time at your place. It's a lot more fun than being around here"

"I'd love to have you come and stay but your mom wants to spend as much time as possible with you. You're her only child and as you leave, she'll be lonely. Give her some slack about this. She's supposed to spend some time with me Thursday afternoon so I can ask her about you staying a week or two with me this summer."

It was chilling to hear my son ask "Why doesn't Mom divorce Clueless and move in with you?"

I didn't know she regularly spent afternoons at his house. Oh No! Things started to come together that I didn't like at all. Maybe I am clueless? My thoughts of what was happening were crushing on me.

Eric bragged "Ever since I got her pregnant with you, I've asked her that monthly. She says 'No, you are a great fuck but you'd be a lousy husband. I have a husband that I really love and cherish. Every moment with him makes me feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world. Granted my orgasms with you are earthshaking but he makes me feel loved. I love him and I certainly don't love you!'.

"That my son, is why she won't divorce Joe Tindal but will fuck Eric Tindal every once in a while. I've got to go now but I'll see you at your grandparents tomorrow at noon for the annual family birthday party and Memorial Day lunch."

At this point, my legs turned to spaghetti as I slid down the side of my garage wall into my Hosta garden. My world was shattered. My son not being my biological son was gut wrenching. My wife getting pregnant by my brother then fucking him with regularity was overwhelming.

Somehow, I stumbled back to where I was working and sat on the rope swing. A swing where I spent many hours pushing my son to his delight. I sat on this swing and cried until I had a huge mud puddle at my feet. What was I to do? Before I did anything, I needed to assess my entire situation.

Then I thought of my redemption; the DNA test! Several years ago, Carol, me and Sam all took the 23 and Me DNA test. How could that be incorrect? But what if Carol threw away my test and put Eric's saliva in a test-tube with my name? That would hide the real parentage of Sam. What a despicable thing to do! They threw away my legacy and replaced it with that asshole's. Purposefully denying my right to know I wasn't the father of a boy that I so desperately loved. When that thought of redemption was disregarded, I needed to take stock of my present world.

My name is Joe Tindal and I'm 43 years old. I don't weigh much more now than I did in college, 175 pounds. I'm slender and wasn't a jock in high school or college. My specialty was running and I excelled on our high school track team. Now the distance running I used to enjoy is interrupted by family and work obligations. But I still get a few miles each week, sometimes running in a 5K or 10k event for charity.

Employment for me is the dual role of Chief Finance Office and Chief Operating Officer at Tindal's Machine Company in my hometown. My great grandfather started as a blacksmith sharpening plowshares and putting iron rings on wooden wagon wheels. Grandfather Tindal and my father Edward followed suit with each of them adding the newest metal working machinery of their times to the business. Now we do precision parts for the aerospace and metal replacement parts industry.

My father Edward is president and brother Eric is the Chief Marketing Officer over the 50-person business. Dad didn't go to college but attended the best trade school available at the time. I have Bachelor's degrees in Industrial Engineering and Accounting thus being CFO and COO.

Younger brother Eric's physical structure was the exact opposite of me. He is 6'3" tall; 5 inches taller than me and over 50 pounds heavier. He was the consummate jock; large, loud, arrogant and a real bully. He was a crowd favorite as a running back in high school football. A small college scholarship paid his way through school while I had to work and get school loans. The only reason he graduated from college was because instructors kept passing him to keep him eligible for football.

Eric's degree in Physical Education was of no use to him or any other employer so he started working for Tindal as a junior mechanic. Much of our work requires precision and this was not his suite. Instead, he used his name recognition to open doors to new and existing customers. He couldn't discuss the finer points of our business but he had a great ability to bullshit his way to keep the customers happy. Don't get me wrong, he was good at his job and beneficial to the company.

Just like every other multi-generational company, we had our disagreements. An example was when Eric wanted a commission on new sales. Not out of line for the industry but he was already drawing a good salary, same as mine. I used that timing to request that I keep all the income from the patents I had recorded. Edward gave in easily to Erick but I had to really fight him to get the money I had generated.

My wife Carol's introduction to me was courtesy of her exceptional ass. She wore a loose pair of shorts and an event T-shirt in a 5K charity run for the high school library. I'd graduated from college and was working with Dad. I'd seen my fair share of uncovered female gluteus maximus' during and after college but this one was special. The rear view of her included a narrow waist flaring out to two perfect sized, muscular butt cheeks. I hadn't even seen her face yet but I thought I was in love; temporarily anyway.

With my running times, I could've stepped in front of her but I preferred this starting position. When the starting gun went off, I followed her bobbing pony tail until she was far ahead of me enough to examine her hind parts. There were asshole perverts that put themselves between me and her to enjoy the view. By the end of the first kilometer, I was her only admirer on the race course. I calculated that her front side was as good as the back as I noticed bystanders watching her shirt bounce up and down with every step.

One of the runners in front of her dropped his water bottle and she tried to step around it and started to stumble. I quickly moved up to grab her arm and stabilize her. She grinned and said "Thanks, I really didn't want to fall on this concrete street. I'm Carol."

"Hello Carol, I'm Joe. Can I run with you? Just to rescue you from falling."

She grinned at my request and said "Sure"

That was the start of our relationship. Carol had her degree in Secondary Education and was working as an English teacher. A year after we met while running, we were married in Carol's home church.

After two blissful married years we decided to start our family. In spite of repeated lust filled evenings and weekends Carol didn't become pregnant. Diets were changed, intercourse in different positions were attempted and a thermometer was constantly available to gauge the exact time for fertilization. Our whole lives were guided by getting my sperm to meet up with her ovum at the perfect time. Neither of us really wanted to be tested for fertility at this time. Maybe in a year or so but not now. I was heartbroken as I wanted to have at least two kids, no matter what gender they were.

Both of us relaxed and returned to having sex for the love of it and each other. Just a couple of months later Carol missed her period but didn't want to jinx it by telling anyone, including me. When she missed the second, I was ecstatic. I was brought up with the idea that family was one of the most important factors in a person's life. The Tindal family had been in that community for over a hundred years. Photos of the generations at our parent's house displayed the pride we had in our family.

Pregnancy was not without its trials as Carol was bedridden the final 2 months at doctor's orders. The delivery was complicated and we almost lost both my wife and newborn son that day.

The embryo that became Sam enjoyed the warmth and nourishment that Carol's womb provided. Sam became so large for her pelvis that he had to be born by Cesarean. While in the surgical process, he noticed a situation that caused him to caution us to not try pregnancy again for fear of extreme consequences.

He made a point to us that another pregnancy may be the death of both mother and child. Something neither one of us wanted so we acquiesced to his recommended surgery on her. Knowing this was it for us; not having children made Sam special for us.

Sam was a vigorous young boy; constantly active. He and I enjoyed rough housing on the floor, much to Carol's dismay. The hours of us throwing, kicking and shooting some sort of ball were countless. His grades were not exceptional but slightly higher than the average boy of his age.

It was after his 15

th

birthday that the relationship between us started to fray. I attributed it to the normal conflict between parent and child at that age. We used to talk for hours throwing the ball back and forth but he said he was busy now. Too busy on his cell phone and Game Boy to talk to his dad. When he was pressed for some form of contact, he became surly and disrespectful. From what I gathered; it seems he thought being an accountant was less manly than other vocations. Part of that idea probably came as a result as he was now taller and more muscular than I.

Over the years Carol continued to be the perfect wife in every aspect. Between her knowledge, intelligence, and total dedication to her vocation she was now principal of McKinley School. A school that was designed to give special attention to students that were having a difficulty in applying themselves to school work and having interactional problems with others, i.e., fighting.

I did notice that this stress of supervising unruly students made for some conflicts at home. She'd make biting comments about something I did or didn't do as per her definition of the task. Her irritation with me rarely extended to bed time. She was always sweet and loving when we slipped under the covers. There was no part of our sex life I would consider unacceptable or not frequent enough.

So, I was dumbfounded when I heard my brother telling Sam that he was Sam's father and he had regularly fucked Carol for over 17 years. "No Way!" I thought. But what did I really know for sure? Creating the biggest doubt for me was how Sam had the same body frame as both Eric and Edward. I'm the odd man out on genetic similarities. Something didn't feel right; either in my head or in my stomach as I contemplated the possibilities.

That evening I watched Carol like a hawk after a mouse. There were absolutely no overt signs that she was having an affair. Dinner was lively and enjoyable. Sam left to go pick up some friends in his car and see a movie, or whatever they do until 11pm.

With Sam out until 11 pm Carol and I started the kitchen cleaning. She asked me to start loading the dishwasher while she went to the bathroom. When I turned around the only thing she had on was a lace apron. She acted like nothing was odd and told me to "Hurry up. Get to work as I have plans for you tonight."

We laughed and played as we touched each other until the kitchen was clean. Then it was up to bed where I was treated to some of the best sex I have ever had. I watched her close, she was enthusiastic and very responsive to my every touch. Her belly always heaves and her neck flushes red just prior to her orgasm. Both those body parts were heralding the Big O for her. Not a single clue of faking her burning desires.

Post orgasms, we cuddled and expressed our undying love for each other.

The next morning, Saturday, we were to leave to have lunch at my parent's house in honor of Edward's 70

th

birthday. Carol didn't like to ride in my Volvo and Sam wanted to go by himself so he could leave early. We did what Carol wanted; we all went in her Lexis.

As we walked in the front door my mother, Sally, proceeded to hug us in order; Carol, Sam, then me. The same order for Edward. Next, I was looking for the interaction between Eric and Carol. Eric happily hugged Sam then held his arms out for Carol's hug. A hug that was enthusiastic on Eric's part but lifeless from Carol. In fact, I thought I saw a look of boredom and exasperation on her face as he rubbed against her. That was not the reaction I expected between lovers who had been fucking for 17 years.

Me; I got a hand clasp and chest bump from Eric. He delighted in ramming his 46-inch chest against my 36-inch chest in a form of testosterone level comparison.

My thoughts were to probe the skirts of a possible affair and parent controversy. Not be nosy but be more like the bumbling Inspector Clouse Au of Pink Panther fame. Maybe rattle some rocks and see if a snake comes out.

During a lull in the conversations, I casted out the first fishing line "Eric, I have to go talk to our CPA Thursday afternoon. Will you be around the office to cover for me?" I said that knowing he had no comprehension of accounting processes and would be no help to anyone who called me.

"No Joe, I'll be out of the office also. Big project in the works."

Carol blew a couple of bubbles in her iced tea with her nose. That means I'm getting close to finding something out.

"Well, big fella, is it something you will get all sweaty and worn out from?"

"Nah, I've worked with this person many times and I've always come out on top."

The look Carol gave him was hotter than any of our plasma cutters. I could see the color draining from her face. No one made a noise of any kind, no fork against plate, no clinking ice in their tea. Midnight at a graveyard was deafening compared to Mom's dining room. Eyeballs were rotating between the five of them. That also was a clue that all of them knew about the infidelity. I thought I could hear the sweat oozing up through their skin. This is just what I wanted. Be Clueless Joe to the five of them, but underneath the clumsiness I was comprehending what was happening.

Dad broke the ice by saying "Well you guys get your calendars to see who goes where."

He continued "I'm glad you boys came today for my birthday. My grandfather bought this 160-acre tract while it was miles from town. He'd be proud that the land is still in the family and our family business is going strong under Eric and Joe. As a result of my confidence in you boys and my advanced age I am going to retire from being president of Tindal. Eric will be the new president. There will be a change in the salary structure as Joe's new salary will always be 75% of Eric's. I really want Joe to stay in the company and be rewarded for his good work. With Joe's income from patents, both of you boys will have about the same income."

Carol squeezed my arm and gave me a warm smile.

"So, I will answer directly to Eric? The Eric , who doesn't know the difference between a CNC machine and a popcorn popper, is going to be running the company. This is a recipe for disaster of the worst kind."

"Listen little brother. I've always been the "Take Charge" guy while you have been the head counter of small beans. It takes an Alpha Male rather than wimp like you to be the Boss Man. Get over it, Joe. Once again, I win, you lose."

"That's enough boys. Eric, you won't be the boss man. I'm still the chairman of the board and outrank you. I own all the stock. You will run the business like I tell you to. This company has been in the family for over a hundred years and I won't let it blow up on my watch. We are Tindal's and the important family legacy is in our hands, just like the men on the wall. So, cool your jets." Dad pointed for effect to pictures on the living room wall of three generations of Tindal men.

"Speaking of which Dad, which picture on the wall is your grandfather?"

"My grandfather is on the left side of the pictures. My father is next to him and I am on the far end. I'd have thought you'd know that."

"I was just confirming it as I have a question. Looking at the three pictures, it seems I bear no resemblance to any Tindal, living or dead. Different body style, hair color or facial expression. Eric and Sam look like a Tindal but not me. I don't understand that."

My mother's shoulders shrunk. Her face turned gray at the same rate as dad's became red. Once again silence broke out while eyeballs rotated between my parents and Eric. I found the best way to get people to open up is to drop a turd in their lap, then be quiet and let them gingerly remove it without getting too much shit on their hands.

"Joe, you might as well finally know the family secret. Your mother and I were planning on getting married and your mother got drunk at her bachelorette party and got pregnant. She and I were also having sex so she thought she was pregnant by me. She had no way of knowing. We were married before she even knew she was pregnant. We both were surprised but happy because I thought I was the father.

"You were a weak and undersized baby. We thought it was because of your mother's pregnancy problems. You were a sickly baby and we almost lost you when you had the mumps. It was touch and go for several weeks.

"Joe, you were about 10 years old before we figured that you weren't my biological son. Sally had hidden the fact that she had sex with someone else prior to our marriage. She said you looked very similar to this other guy. When DNA tests became readily available, we tested and confirmed you are not my biological son, but Eric was."

Well, that answered some questions as to how I was treated versus Eric. This was not the bomb I was expecting. I was fishing around to find out about Sam's biological father and got this slapped in my face. This had turned upside down on me. Not much I could do about it now, but I now had more questions.

Mom finally spoke and said "That doesn't mean we don't love you as much as Eric. We raised you as our son and both of us still consider you as our son."

That was nice to hear from her but what does this have to do with what I heard Sam and Eric saying?