Brendan was out of sorts when he dropped by to see Graeme. Not actually ill or hung-over, but just feeling irritable at life in general. We all have that sort of day.
Graeme, on the other hand, was on top of the world. No real reason for it, just one of those days when you wake up full of go, and he was going very nicely, thank you.
The pair of them had been doing some carpentry, building some shelves that Graeme intended to install in the house at some time. He was getting things ready for a remodelling of his kitchen. His wife, Claire, had been a bit narky about the old fashioned kitchen, lately.
He stirred Brendan up a little about his sour mood. Brendan managed a smile or two, but his mood didn't significantly improve.
"You know what your real trouble is?" asked Graeme.
"No. Tell me my real trouble," came back Brendan.
"You're suffering from blue balls, mate. When was the last time you got laid? It's time you went and found yourself a piece of tail."
Brendan finally laughed. "You've got a point there, mate. I probably should do that little thing."
They continued working for a while, when Graeme came up with a comment.
"Claire's there," he said.
Brendan looked around, but couldn't see her.
"Uh, Claire's where?" he asked.
"In the house," said Graeme, nodding thoughtfully.
Brendan was a little confused.
"Meaning?" he queried.
"You need to get laid, and Claire's in the house," explained Graeme. "That'll work."
"Your wife, Claire?" asked Brendan. "What does she have to do with me getting laid?"
"You can go in and give her a quick bonk," said Graeme. "I should've thought of this earlier."
"She's your wife, Graeme. I can't go having sex with your wife."
"Why not?" demanded Graeme, indignant on his wife's behalf. "She's young and pretty and she likes sex."
"But she's your wife. You can't ask her to have sex with me."
"I know that. I wouldn't know anything about it," said Graeme with a grin. "Look, it's like this. Right now Claire is majorly pissed off at me. I mean majorly. I'm so much in the doghouse that the dog's gone to a hotel for the week. And Claire likes sex, but right now she's not giving me any, and the fact that she's horny is making her even madder at me. She reckons it's my fault.
Now if you was to sneak in there while I was busy out here, you could give her a good rogering and then be back out here to help me again. She'll go along with it because, as I said, she's horny, and she'll also think she's putting one over on me.
She'll be so pleased to have put one over on me that she'll let bygones be bygones and I'll also get laid tonight.
