No one under eighteen, any resemblance to persons living or dead or in between is totally bullshit because it's all made up. It's a fantasy. A tall tale. Try to have fun with it, and be nice in your bloodthirsty comments. Darker Binding edited this, so any remaining errors are mine only.
Chili In Church
Divorce, Romance, and Chili In Church
Twenty-six years. More than a quarter century. Seems like a long time, the age of my marriage. The vast majority of those years had been good, or at least decent years. We had a fun time with each other, we had a fine time with the kids and we were best friends forever, and it was real and fulfilling. Now I remember those days as paradise lost, like a dream that I suppose just could not last forever...
And I awoke one day to find it was gone. My marriage, my wife and my best friend... Destroyed and gone with the wind. Dead and buried, although not literally, she had completely turned her back to me. I had gone to see a lawyer and called the kids, now adults and told them. There was no doubt about that. I felt like I was a complete idiot. I was the last one to know that she had found someone else to love and cherish. I was old news, I had been rejected and replaced by someone new.
The worst part was deep inside of me, I still loved her, despite all the evil she had done to me. I hated myself for that.
The depth of her treachery simply amazed me, considering all those years when I thought we were happy and in love. I was a simple trusting man, obviously way too trusting, but then hindsight is 20/20.
Four years ago my wife Gretchen, presumably going through change of life, suddenly and completely lost any and all interest and desire for sex. There had been many talks and heated discussions, but in the end... It was the end, at least as far as she was concerned. No more sex for us. My wants and needs be damned. To say that I was upset was a complete understatement.
I more or less buried myself in my business, which made a great deal of money. But all the money in the world won't assuage the lack of love and affection that she gave me, or more accurately, that she did not give me.
She had given me a few blowjobs, half-hearted attempts at best, and on my birthday and our anniversary and holidays she had even consented to try sex with lots of lube... But it was just not the same. She was just not interested in sex. My feelings were never even entered into the equation, she just did not care. I was devastated. I did not know what to do.
She held me in no animosity, but neither did she treat me like she loved and respected me. We had somehow gone completely off the rails as far as love was concerned... Gretchen certainly did not lust after me, or make any attempt at desiring me at all. That was all gone, all in the past, no matter what I tried. In fact, the more I pressed her about medical treatments, and couples counseling, the worse things got. It was at a sort of stalemate situation, not really married, but not quite separated either. Like two tigers in a cage, wanting, but not trusting or loving... And finally just not caring any more. I had an angry and mean roommate, not a wife. Even though I had done nothing but try and try to get her back, the feelings were gone, gone, gone. I still loved the bitch, but it was now a one-sided affair, a burdensome love, totally unrequited on her part. One-way love just cannot exist for too long. I persevered as long as I was able to, but I was pissing up a rope.
After several years of my chasing after her love and non-existent affection, I saw the signs of her affair. It was very subtle, but I recall how she would take phone calls in the other room. She always locked up her phone. She had passwords and passcodes now. Ones that I didn't know! She slammed shut her damned computer as I entered the room. Occasionally she was very late for no reason, and none was offered either. The signs were all there. I had chosen not to see them in a vain attempt to salvage my broken marriage. Stupid me.
I had a discretionary spending account, and I used it to get a private investigator on her case. It did not take too long, and I was initially very surprised by the report and the findings as well. I knew that we were done. There was a huge font of evidence that she had had a series of affairs, not just one man, and the investigators could not find the beginning. The evidence went back at least ten years, and because no hotels kept records longer, that was where it stopped. I guessed she had been cheating during our entire marriage. Just the last few years had brought everything to a head. I spoke to a lawyer and prepared for the ending of what was now a big joke of a marriage. Too bad the joke was on me!
I got one suitcase packed up, and another started. I packed what I needed, I would be back to get all the rest once I found a place. I had a trip upcoming and my chili cook-off. But I decided to take my time. She would never dictate my itinerary again. I would sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. I made sure the dead bolt worked that I had just installed. But lately she had not even come near me so why did I even have to worry? She probably would not even touch the door. I wondered if she would even notice that I was gone?
I had always thought that she and I were destined to live with, and love each other to the bitter end, but now it seemed like the bitter end was very fast approaching from the other direction. I had to do something. If for no other reason than my own sanity.
I was just not sure what I was going to do, and if she was going to leave me, or should I just let her have a divorce, and we cash in our chips. I was sure that living as a bachelor would not be as good as living as a married man... But that was before the cold war and pitched battles started. The evidence was incontrovertible. I decided to call it a day. No use crying over spilled milk, what's done is done, and it is what it is. I know it's just a bunch of tired damn platitudes, but based on a reality. Time to get going.
I had never thought about her cheating on me, or for that matter me looking outside of our marriage for sex... But that's what this trail of tears seems to have led me to. I had sworn an oath. I made a promise, and I had kept faith in our marriage all these years... But now...I don't know, it feels like we're not even married to each other, just maybe to the idea of marriage. It was like a switch was flipped, and she had been married, and now she was not. The covenant was not just broken, it was completely and utterly destroyed. No use crying about something that was dead. It was time to bury the dead, and move on. My heart and my love were both shattered beyond hope of repair. She had done this deliberately. Deliberately!
"Gretchen, we have to talk." I said to her. She unhappily agreed.
