Ch06 Is It Really Over

Our honeymoon was amazing. We spent two weeks in Canada. We started in a hotel surrounded by scenic mountains and snow and ended up in log cabin near a quaint little town. It couldn't get more romantic and beautiful.

We were inseparable. Our days were filled with touristy adventures and skiing and our nights were sensually intense. I don't pretend that sex is the most fulfilling for her when it comes to my size or techniques, but the sensual bliss we enjoy together is real.

Every night and some days, the topic of 'Steve' and the 'Tattoo' was forefront. I wouldn't last long looking down at the tattoo and even went so far as to get her on all-fours so I could last a little longer. She asked me at one point why I was doing her from behind so much on the trip and I admitted the truth to her. She loved it.

In fact, I picked up how aroused she was every time I came so quickly as a result of us talking about Steve. I also noted that a day didn't go by without Cindy asking for reassurance that I was really 'OK' or that I 'liked' the tattoo. She kept needing to know I wasn't upset. I reassured her, but I know doubt kept creeping up in her.

In the weeks after our return, I noticed a subtle shift in Cindy's demeanor. She wouldn't really bring up Steve as often and when she did, it was more of something her sister mentioned or her noting another missed call from him. Even in our bed, she didn't bring him up as much.

I was hyperaware of this shift and began to pull back myself. I didn't engage unless she brought him up first and as time passed, it happened less often.

A few weeks passed and we were back in our routine. We would spend some weekends with her family at the Keys, work throughout the week, and a couple of times a week, we continued our involvement at our church's young adult ministry. During those nights, I noticed she would have several conversations with our pastor. In and of themselves, this wasn't anything to be concerned about, but it all made sense when she shared what was on her mind on the way home one night.

"Honey, I need to share something," she said as she held my hand in the car.

"Yeah babe. What is it?" I responded.

"I've been feeling really guilty about the whole tattoo thing and I'm beginning to fear you are going to resent me for it."

I squeezed her hand and said, "Sweety... that couldn't be further from the truth."

She remained quiet and stared straight out the front winshield.

"I love you. I love what we have and not once have I been angry or resentful. Wasn't it me that opened this whole 'can of worms?" I said with a chuckle. "What brought this up?"

She took a deep breath and said, "I don't know. After we came back, I started to think you wouldn't tell me if you were upset on our wedding night. Even if you hated it, I don't think you would tell me. It was done. What could you say? The tattoo was already there, and you wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, especially on our wedding night. I feel you felt trapped at that point."

I shook my head and was about to say something, but she continued.

"I talked to Fr. Marcus about my fears..." and that is when I shot a look at her with mortification.

"You told Fr. Marcus about this whole thing? What the hell!!!" I exclaimed.

All I could think about is that I could never show my face at church again.

She looked over and continued, "I didn't tell him all about Steve and us. I just talked about having doubts on some of my selfish choices and how I thought you were hurt or would hate me."

I tried to compose myself and stay quiet.

"He was very understanding and I never felt judged. He encouraged me to talk to you about it and work together but ultimately, I had to feel comfortable in the choices I made."

I felt my blood pressure slowly dropping.

"Honey," I said. "I love you more today than I did yesterday. I never felt you were being selfish. In fact, part of me feels selfish for encouraging everything. My hormones always get the best of me. Plus... I honestly do love knowing you are being satisfied in a way I can't."

"I don't know," she replied sheepishly. "I just feel you are going to hate me if you don't already, and I can't bear the thought of losing you. I really enjoyed what happened, but I feel so guilty. How can you be ok with me being with my ex? I feel that it took something away from our wedding. When it happened, it was all I could think about but looking back I keep wondering if I was selfish. He gets in my head. Did I fuck us up?"

All I did was shake my head.

After a brief pause, she continued. "I already told Steve that I'm not going to continue this anymore. I want you to be happy and see me as your soul mate like I see you. I want you to look at me like you have always looked at me."

I had a million questions and protests about this, but I also knew this was not the time. She was genuinely concerned, and I wanted to make sure she felt safe and comfortable. I wanted to show her I respected her choice. I nodded in understanding and lifted her hand to my lips for a kiss.

"I love you," I whispered.

I could see a tear on her left cheek as she stared out. I squeezed her hand.

I didn't say a word and kept driving. In my head, I was still processing the huge shift going forward. How could I simply put all this back in the box.

After 10 minutes of silence in the car, she started talking again.

"I didn't lie when I told you the reason I broke up with Steve. But I couldn't stop thinking about what he said on the boat. Maybe I feared who I became around him. I want to be a wife, have kids, and share love with only one person, you. I want to be like my mom and dad," she said with sincerity.

"Me too. That is why I married you. Steve was just us adding some spice. I love how turned on you get and I know you enjoy it. But... I will respect your choice," I said.

After a few seconds she nodded. "I think that is what we should do. I don't want to be thinking about him when I have sex with you. I want to be thinking about us. I don't like losing control, especially to him. I still can't explain why he does what he does to me, and it scares me. Are you mad?"

"Never, babe. I love you," I assured her. Inside was a mixture of happiness and sadness. The thought of her making us a priority made me feel secure and safe. The side of me that had been emerging over the past year was no happy about this decision, but I knew she was right.

"Has he stopped calling you?" I asked.

"Not really, but I think he is getting the hint," she said.

"I need to know you are doing this because you want to, not because you think I don't want to," I said.

"I think so. I just know I don't want to hurt you," she replied.

I loved how she thought it would be that easy after everything that happened. I didn't think it would be for either of them, or me to say the least.

"Do you regret the tattoo now?" I cautiously asked while squeezing her hand.

"Not at all. That will always be something between you and me. That will be our crazy story and," she looked up at me, "I know how turned on your get when you look at it." She giggled and I leaned in to kiss her at the next stop light.

I can't explain how all this nervous energy and talk about Steve got me aroused so quickly but it did. I reached over and hiked up the hem of her skirt until I could see her white cotton panties. My had gently caressed the spot where the tattoo should be and then my fingers pushed the fabric between the folds of her lips. She was wet. This whole conversation had gotten her wet!

The rest of the trip I spent fingering my wife as she reclined her seat back. I struggled to keep focus between the road and her moans. All I wanted to do was ask if she got this turned on having talked about Steve, but I resisted.

-----------------------------------------------

Summer was upon us before we knew it. A few months had passed, and we would spend most of our weekends at the Keys at her parents' house. The ocean life was here. The only real change to our lives was that Steve had become close with Cindy's parents and as a result would occasionally hang out with us at their house. A couple of times we even went on his boat, or he would join us on her dad's boat.

Yes, it was awkward, but we never really discussed it.

It was surreal to always pretend like nothing had happened and I constantly had to keep the pretense that he was a friend of my family.

Cindy never mentioned anything, but the tension was palpable. There were times I would catch Steve practically stripping Cindy out of her bikini with his eyes. There were also times I caught Cindy taking glimpses of Steve. In fact, whenever Steve was talking or flirting with Cassie, I could see her brow furl in jealousy. I never said a word.

While we were at home, I would notice missed calls from Steve. Cassie had even mentioned to Cindy a few times that Steve asked why she never answered his calls and Cindy's response was always, "I'm married Cas."

Steve and I, for the most part didn't interact much at the Keys other than basic pleasantries. I sensed a couple of times he was trying to start up a conversation, but something always interrupted the moment and I, sure as shit, wasn't going to seek him out.

Then, one day at home I was working on my computer late one night the phone rang. I picked it up before the first ring had even ended, expecting it to be Cindy. She was at her parent's house and I figured she was letting me know she was heading home.

"Hi Honey," I said. "Coming home?"

I heard a laugh. "That is sweet, but I'm stuck at work tonight."

I pulled that handset away so I can see the caller ID.

'HARLEY DAVI' was on the display, and I realized it was Steve. I wasn't really sure what to say.

"I guess Cindy isn't home?" he asked.

"No," was my only response.

"Too bad," he said. "We never had a chance to talk since the wedding. How was your honeymoon?" he asked but I could feel his twisted smile as he said those words.

"Great. Thanks for asking," I said.

"Look, I get it. You don't want to talk to me, but I need to ask you something."

I stayed silent.

"Cindy told me you don't want her to see me again, but I don't know if I believe her. I watch how you always find a way to disappear whenever we are near each other at her parents' place. I saw you on the boat when I took her."

I was getting hard. I didn't say a word.

"Are you telling me you didn't like her wedding gift? I know I did."

I said nothing but my hand was on my crotch feeling my erection grow.

"I want to hear it from your mouth that you don't want her with me, and I won't call again," he said.

I knew he was lying and nothing I said would ever stop him from trying. I was also confused because he said Cindy told him 'I' wanted her to stop. She didn't even tell him the truth. That revelation alone spoke volumes.

He was quiet and I was quiet. Time stood still.

"Did she tell you how wet she was on your wedding night? I can't remember the last time she was dripping like that," he said. I could tell in how he said it, he was reliving the moment.

"I didn't tell her not to see you. That was her choice," I finally responded. I wasn't sure if I said it because I was upset Cindy used me as the excuse or because Steve was getting full of himself by talking about my wife.

"Really?" he quickly replied and then another moment of silence between us. It was awkward.

"She thinks I hate her for all of this, and she doesn't want to be selfish," I continued.

"Does she know you want it as much as she does?" he asked.

I didn't respond.

"Maybe even more than she does. You know she thinks about it all the time, right?" he asked.

Silence.

"Right?! I bet you if you asked her who she thought about the last time you fucked, my name will be right there." he said in a condescending tone.

"She just needs to know you want her to be happy. She needs to know you want it," he said. "Do you get it?"

I didn't respond. My hands were shaking as he spoke. My body was experiencing bouts of shivers. I was nervous. I was anxious. He was right.

"I bet you have a little hard-on right now, don't you?" he asked with a snicker.

"Well, if you aren't going to talk, I guess I'll hang up. I'll see you next time at the Keys," he said.

Before I could even process everything, I heard the words coming out of my mouth. "Yes."

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked just wanting me to say it again.

"Yes!"

After that we had a, mostly, one sided conversation where he shared details on the wedding night. Then he shared more details on the time he went to her house and seduced her, the night all of this started. At some point he even mentioned how Cassie was obviously hitting on him and how tempting she is. He tried to get me to join in his lust for Cassie and agree what a fine piece of ass she was.

This went on for almost a half hour. It was pretty much the 'Steve Show' and he was boasting as to how much control he had over Cindy and other women. I think he was letting me know how little control I really had in any of this.

I had an incoming call, and it was Cindy. I switched over and she let me know she was leaving her parents in a few minutes which gave me 20 minutes to wrap this whole thing up. I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally enjoying the bragging and his command of the situation. I was especially loving his dominance over Cindy since the beginning. Honestly, I wanted him to tell me everything they did since they started dating.

I told him she was heading home and had to hang up soon. This is when the conversation shifted into a more serious tone on his end.

"Mike. You KNOW she still wants it, right?"

I simply responded, "I do."

"Do you want this?" he asked.

"Yes," I said quietly. Then I added, "but I'm not going to go against her wishes."

"I would never do that either... you just have to know what her real wishes are," he replied.

For the next 15 minutes I was torn between trying to hang up before Cindy came home and my depraved sexual arousal listening to his thoughts on her needs and the glimpses of her darker side.

The next thing I knew, I heard the front door opening and all I could think to do was hang up. Cindy came into the office and started talking about the latest family gossip before heading to the bedroom to change and go to bed. All I wanted to do was devour her, but I couldn't get myself to do it. I knew all I would do is bring up Steve and I couldn't risk giving any inkling to what happened. Tonight was going to be spent jerking off by myself in the office chair to thoughts of Steve and Cindy.

During the next couple of weeks, I noticed Steve called at least three times and every time it just so happened Cindy was at her parent's house. I didn't have a way to confirm, but I figured he was getting information from Cassie that Cindy would not be home. I never answered the phone. Instead, I deleted the caller ID record for his every call.

The following weekend we spent it at the Keys. It was only Cindy, me, and her parents. Her sisters stayed had plans at home and decided to not go. Part of me didn't want to go either but Cindy had committed to helping her mom clean up their home to prepare for the offseason.

We all headed down together after work on Friday, stopped to get a quick bite along the way, and was informed by her mom that Steve would be stopping by on Saturday to help dad work on his boat's engine. This only further validates that her parents were getting along with Steve a bit more than I was comfortable with. As Cindy's parents droned on about how Steve was so nice to offer his time to do us this favor, all I kept wondering is what her parents would think if they only knew about Cindy and him.

Walking to the car from the diner, Cindy looked over at me and mouthed the word 'sorry.' I knew what she meant. I knew she wanted all of this to be over with and I knew she felt I was getting resentful about this whole situation. I wasn't but how could I bring that up without her feeling I was going against her choice.

Saturday came and Cindy and her mom started the day early by washing every linen in the house. I helped the dad get the boat ready to have the engine broken down for repairs. It was hard to answer some of her dad's questions about Steve because I really had no idea, so I tended to avoid them or keep repeating that he was really my dad's friend and didn't know him that well. It seemed like her dad was smitten with him.

By late afternoon, Steve pulled up in his boat and tied up next to their house where their boat would usually be moored. Everyone came out to greet him and again, the awkwardness of the whole situation was bizarre. From anyone else's perspective they would never be able to tell something was off. To me it was obvious with the occasional smirk to his blatant ogling Cindy.

Steve didn't really talk too much to me or Cindy. He spent all his time helping her dad get the engine repaired. Unfortunately, I lacked any mechanical skill, so I was useless. Instead, I helped power wash the outside of the house while the girls worked inside.

Cindy and her mom came out of the house having changed into their bathing suits. I admit even at her age, her mom looked like a true MILF. Her dad was a lucky man and I was hoping the theory that the daughter will end up looking like the mom held true.

Cindy had a purple bikini, and it looked amazing. She has never really been a bikini girl, most often choosing one-piece suits which were very conservative. I did enjoy this new passion of hers. I also loved the fact she let her hair grow back after our wedding night. You could see the puffiness in her bikini bottom, and it was something I found sexy.

I never asked if she had done it out of convenience or if it helped conceal most of the tattoo. I could always spot the edge of the tattoo under the hair. In fact, she always had a very dark and thick bush which was a beautiful contrast with her pale white bikini line skin.

Before long, it was getting dark and Cindy's mom walked out and invited Steve to stay for dinner. They mentioned it was going to be a neighborhood BBQ, and they would love to have him stay and get meet some of their friends. He expressed he would love to, but he should really get going before it got too dark. He wasn't too familiar with the waters in this area and didn't want to get stuck.

This is when I heard Cindy's dad say, "So spend the night. Cassie and Kristina stayed home so we have the room."

Her mom jumped in, "Great idea! That would be perfect. We really would love you to meet some of our friends."

Was this really happening?

Again, Cindy acted as if nothing was happening. To her credit she did ignore him, but I still caught a couple of longing glances in his direction. I did notice that she went out of her way to avoid getting anywhere near him... I give her credit for the effort. But all that did is make me think, 'the lady doth protest too much.'

Steve finally accepted their offer.

That evening there were about a dozen people on the dock enjoying an delicious BBQ. There was plenty of beer and wine, loud music, and louder Cuban people.

I went into the house to refill the ice cooler when Steve showed up a minute later. As I emptied a few ice bags into the cooler, he went through the refrigerator as if he was looking for something.

"So, have you told Cindy about our talk?" he asked.

"No," I quickly responded.

"Should I tell her about our talk?" he asked.

"No." I retorted.

"You should be honest with your wife, right? We wouldn't want to keep secrets," he said tauntingly.

"What the fuck, man?!" I softly exclaimed. "What do you want."

"Just admit you like the side of her she is denying. Tell me how you stroked your little cock that night while we talked. Better yet, tell her how you stroked your little cock."