Caught in Between

What wife wants to find out her husband has been looking at porn? Not this one. My mind went rampant with the worst-case scenarios. To me, it was about a lot more than images on a screen. Was there more I didn't know yet? Were there other women involved? Was I not enough for him? How could I possibly measure up to the girls he had been looking at?

I was scared to find out the details, and he was clearly uncomfortable with sharing them. I assumed his unease with it was because he knew how I would react. It turns out it was because he didn't know how I would react if I knew the full truth.

It was a couple years later that he told me what specific kind of porn he had been viewing. It wasn't just naked girls or airbrushed pornstars. In fact, he wasn't into professional stuff. He preferred amateur porn, specifically featuring women around my age who engaged in various types of group sex with their spouse or boyfriend. At first, it didn't make much difference to me, so I insisted he explain.

The reason he was into that kind of porn was because he wanted to do that stuff with me. He was turned on by the idea of a hotwife, a married woman who engages in sex with other men with her husband's blessing. Particularly, he fantasized about him and another guy sharing me in sexual intercourse or even just watching me as I had pleasure with another man.

This revelation didn't make me feel worse, but I didn't initially see how it was supposed to make me feel better. We had vowed to be each other's one and only, and my husband's fantasy didn't seem to align with those vows. How could watching me fuck another guy turn him on? I didn't want to be with anyone else.

I guess there was no way I was going to understand it from just having my husband try to explain it, so I did what I do with every question I have: I researched it. It turns out that cuckolding and hotwife fantasies are very common among men. They stem from, as I read, a husband's finding his wife so desirable that he wants to show her off. Also, apparently a lot of men find it really sexy to watch their partners in action.

Slowly but surely, I not only accepted my husband's fantasy, I began to warm up to it. I started to understand it, and I realized that having sex with another man while my husband watched was the same as having sex with my husband if I was still who was turning him on. I began to image another man pumping into me while I locked eyes with my husband, and I even got excited.

What seemed so outrageous when I first found out about it no longer seemed as unfitting of a committed couple as I originally thought. Every source I read agreed that this type of setup works only for couples who trust each other and vow to be honest. I truly believe we have that kind of relationship. Yes, my husband hid the porn from me, but I understood now he had a justified and unfulfilled desire that I wouldn't have responded to well. Now that I was on the other side of that misunderstanding, I believed more than ever that we had a special connection that just might make the hotwife lifestyle work for us. If it was something my husband really wanted to try, then I wanted to try it.

* * *

I said nothing to my husband for a while as I sorted these facts and details out. However, I was secretly considering exploring this lifestyle to see if maybe, though it would have seemed impossible just weeks ago, it was something that could work for us. I would have gone through the process myself of finding a man, setting it up, and surprising my husband, but I knew he would be better at arranging this thing than I would be. So finally, anxious and excited at the same time, I told my husband everything I had been thinking about since he first explained his fantasy to me.

One evening after the kids were asleep, my husband was ready to start the next episode of a show we were watching when I interrupted his train of thought. He usually hates when I distract him like that, but I don't think he minded this time.

"You know that fantasy of yours?" I asked.

My husband froze and took a second to respond. "The one with the porn?" he said, sheepishly.

"Yes," I answered. "Cuckolding, I think it's called?"

"Well," he began to clarify, "I guess it depends on how you define that." I was instantly curious about what he meant. In my research I learned that watching your spouse have sex with someone else was always called cuckolding and that there were two different kinds of cuckolds: submissive and dominant. I suspected my husband was the dominant type.

"Watching me have sex with someone else," I clarified. "Though I assume you'd prefer to be telling us what do instead of just being helpless, right?"

"Yeah, of course," he said, clearly not completely comfortable with the conversation since he didn't know where it was going. "But it's not just that either." At this point I felt frustrated because I just couldn't keep up, but I kept my cool.

"So tell me," I said a bit coolly.

"Yeah, it would be hot to watch you, but I don't want to just watch either. I'd want to, you know, participate." This confession got me really excited. My husband didn't know this fact about me, but before we got married I had often entertained the fantasy of being double-teamed by two men.

"Oh!" I said. "Well," I paused. "I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty hot."

"Really?" said my husband (who has asked that his name not be included in these stories, by the way).

"I think so," I said (my name is Lisa, by the way). "I think most girls have had that fantasy."

"So what were you going to say?" he said more confidently, growing more interested in this conversation.

"I want to try it," I said.

"What?"

"I've done a lot of reading on cuckolding, and I get it," I said. "If that's something you want to try, then I want you to be able to. And I'm really interested in what you're thinking about group sex."

I won't bore you with the details of the rest of that conversation, nor continue to pretend I remember all the details. My husband proceeded to tell me what sex acts he wanted to try with me if we had another man at our disposal, and I liked the sound of all of them. There were a couple I wasn't very eager to try but I was open to giving it a shot since he was bold and honest enough to confess them. I told him a few of my own ideas too, and we agreed that my husband would begin looking online to recruit a man to join us.

Maybe it's needless to say, but we didn't go right back to the TV. We ended up having really hot sex in the bedroom, during which our dirty talk included most of the fantasies we had just talked about. Both of us came really hard that night.

* * *

The next couple weeks featured a lot of conversation about what we were looking for in another man, what boundaries we each had that the third wheel would have to agree to, and how we were going to keep our marriage, family, and reputation safe. We agreed not to invite someone we already knew personally. We didn't want anyone that we didn't know personally already to know where we live. We eventually decided it would be best to do it away from home while were on vacation.

We have a couple regular vacation destinations, so my husband started making contacts online with people from those locations. I know he posted in some groups where men look for this kind of thing, but I'm not sure what the specifics were. My husband said there was a lot of interest (I suspect he was simply trying to flatter me) but that he was getting the most hits from New York City. We both loved going to NYC, so we started to make plans for a vacation there in the fall.

Once the field was narrowed down, my husband intensified his contact with these other men to try to determine how serious they were. He said he came across a lot of duds but actually ended up with a larger stable of seemingly legitimate candidates than he had initially expected. Again, I thought he was just trying to make me feel good, but then he began to show me the messages, and I was surprised at how many chats he had going on!

When my husband became more interested in a particular man, he would introduce them to me. I must have chatted to at least a dozen guys from various parts of NYC, and my husband and I ended up having video chats with three or four of them as we continued to narrow down our choices. Less than a month after that first conversation we had about our fantasies, we had our man, and I was getting a babysitter and booking a flight.

Our new friend was a hispanic man named Jose. It was fitting because I had mentioned to my husband a few times that blacks and hispanics have often shown an attraction to my shape. Of course, that was probably more so before I had kids and was able to stay thinner, but I've done a pretty good job of keeping the weight down and keeping curves in the right places.

I suppose this is as good a place as any to describe myself some more for you visual readers. At the time of this event, I was 35 (just a few years older than my husband). I'm about 5'6, and high heels make up most of the height difference between my husband and me (which he loves). I'm Italian, so I have tan skin -- well, in the summer, at least. My brown hair is almost black and is naturally curly but I usually straighten it because my husband likes it that way. I have big brown eyes and have been told a lot over the past few years that I have a "very pretty mouth," whatever that means, exactly.

My husband, meanwhile, is short of 6' tall and is very thin but toned and athletic. He's a lot stronger than you'd think, and he has really sexy arm and chest muscles. His eyes are green, his hair is dark brown, and he has a beard that he keeps trimmed nice and short for me.

Our friend Jose was 39 at the time. He is about as thin and tall as my husband but bulkier and not as toned. He is definitely attractive, but I don't care how attractive these men are as long as they're in respectable shape. All I cared about was pleasing my husband, so as long as he was a guy that my husband was going to enjoy watching have sex with me, then he was perfect for the job.

* * *

The next few weeks were spent planning our trip and containing our excitement for this next chapter in our marriage. On more than one occasion my husband caught me quietly singing to myself the line from that Britney Spears song -- "One, two, three, not only you and me." He'd point it out, and I'd blush and stay quiet. He'd say something that it was a turn on how eager I was to do this. The last time he heard me humming it, he suggested we play that song during the threesome. I liked that idea a lot.

* * *

Finally, in the second week of October 2018 we touched down in New York City. My husband immediately communicated with Jose that we were in town. It would be the following night that we would meet in a bar down the street from our hotel room where the deed would be committed. The first day was spent settling in and walking a lot. The majority of the next day was the same, with frequent trips to small restaurants and diners so we could enjoy as much of the local cuisine as we could. Of course, we talked a lot about what was going to happen that night.

We headed back to the hotel with plenty of time to get ready. I always wanted to look my best when I was on a date with my man, and there was added pressure tonight. Not only did I want our new friend to find me desirable so he would perform his best for my husband, but if the point of this exercise was for my husband to enjoy watching me, then I needed to look my absolute best for him. That pursuit began with a shower, spending tons of time on my hair (keeping it down and straight, like my husband preferred), and then getting into the perfect outfit I had selected for this occasion: a short, tight, low-cut black dress, matching black high heels that were open-toe, a sparkling silver necklace that matched the flowery ornament on each of my shoes, and matching anklet that I had purchased specifically for this event. My nails were all painted red.

My husband stepped up his game too, wearing black dress pants and shoes to match my dress and a slim fit dark gray button-down shirt. We had a definite shot of being the classiest couple in the bar we were heading to. I can't imagine anyone would have suspected we were there to meet a guy for a threesome.

I had butterflies in my stomach as we made our way to the bar. When we arrived, my husband and I sat down at a booth near the door where Jose would be able to spot us quickly. My husband checked his phone. He said Jose was going to be here in about 20 minutes. We knew we were early, so we ordered drinks and an appetizer. We didn't want to eat too much because I didn't want to be bloated for my first threesome!

About 15 minutes later, I looked up and recognized Jose right away (from the pictures and videos), and he spotted us immediately after I picked him out. He grinned and made his way to our booth. Both my husband and I stood up to greet Jose, who stuck his hand out while he was still at least 10 feet away. His confident grin didn't fool us into thinking he wasn't nervous just like we were. With those nerves, however, was an undeniable excitement.

My husband shook hands with the man he had selected to fuck his wife that night, and they exchanged pleasantries. Jose quickly turned his attention to me, his eyes lighting up. "You're even prettier than in the pictures!" he exclaimed.

I blushed. "You're sweet," I said, offering my hand for him to shake. He took it and kissed it instead, which I thought was a sweet gesture. I was hoping he was excited to have sex with me later. It was a weird feeling meeting this guy in person knowing what we would be doing later and that we were meeting for only that purpose, but I didn't want to overthink it. I wanted to make sure my husband had a night he would remember for the rest of his life.

Jose quickly offered to pick up the tab, and the men civilly argued over it for a minute before my husband finally deferred to Jose. Jose insisted because we had already turned down his offer to cover a night of the hotel room. My husband was not one to turn down another's generosity, but he didn't want our guest to pay for anything because, as he put it, his wife wasn't a prostitute. I thought his protection was very sweet, and I very much appreciated it; I also appreciated Jose's offer and assured my husband it was OK for our new friend to pay for one bar check.

We spent the next hour and a half getting to know each other better. We had experienced what we thought was real chemistry over our online chats and video calls, and our first in-person meeting only confirmed that chemistry. Both my husband and I felt very comfortable with Jose, which was a huge boost in moving forward with our plan. Jose seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself as well, and not just because was about to have sex with another man's wife.

Eventually it was clear to all of us that this setup had every chance of working. The men had previously agreed that I would decide when it was time to go to the hotel, and, while I was certainly nervous the whole time, it was about 30 minutes in that I started to wonder how early was too early to get to the main event. After about an hour of debating in my head while thoroughly enjoying the seamless interactions among the three of us, I finally stood up from the table and suggested we leave the bar.

"Don't have to tell me twice," my husband said, reaching for his coat.

"I was wondering when you'd say something!" Jose added playfully, also putting on his jacket. He then followed my husband and me out the door, and we chatted all the way down the street and around the corner to our hotel.

* * *

We just kept talking as we went through the lobby and then up the elevator. I felt like a break in conversation would be too awkward to risk, given the circumstances. When we got to the room, my husband made sure to put the "do not disturb sign" out. I told him that was a good idea.

Once we were in the room, I went straight for the bathroom just to make sure everything was in place before we got started. I could hear Jose and my husband continue to chat by the bed while I took deep breaths. It was starting to hit me that I was about to do something that normal wives don't do.

A couple more deep breaths and a couple thoughts of self-assurance that there was nothing wrong with what we were doing helped me calm down and feel confident again as I stepped out of the bathroom and said, "We can get started."

Jose grinned from ear to ear. "The star of the show is ready!" he said.

"Are you ready, honey?" my husband said, stepping behind me and working his thumbs into my tense neck, helping me relax further.

"Mmm," I moaned. "Just do that for a little longer and I will be ready for whatever you want." My husband's physical touch had a way of both relaxing me and turning me on.

Soon, his hands slipped down from my neck to the straps on my dress, pushing them past my shoulders. It was go time. Though the point of tonight was for my husband to watch, right now it was Jose who sat on the bed and watched as my husband undressed me. That black dress was soon around my ankles while Jose's eyes were locked on me now that my underwear was exposed. I grew self-conscious at the thought of my exposed gut, but my husband's hands working up and down my arms and back helped put me back at ease.

My husband and I kissed as I stepped out of the dress and kicked it aside. The underwear didn't stay on long, as my husband was eager to live his fantasy. He unhooked my black bra, which slid down my arms and off my body, soon joining the dress on the floor.

"Mmm, lovely tits," Jose said quietly, and I grinned. My husband was already pushing my matching black thong down my legs until it reached my ankles. Then he helped get it off me entirely, careful to not to get it caught on my high heels.

"Shit!" Jose cried as he gazed at me now that I was in only those heels and the matching jewelry. "Even better than I imagined! Better than the pictures!"

I smiled and blushed. "That's sweet," I said as I let this man, whom I had met in person just a couple hours ago, gawk at my naked, married body.

"You can take the heels off if you want," my husband said, breaking my train of thought. I was surprised because I knew he loved it when I wore heels during sex, and I figured if he was going to watch me have sex, I'd be wearing heels.

"No, I know you like them," I insisted.

"It's hot as hell," he said, "but this is asking a lot from you, and I want you to be as comfortable as possible." He had a good point, so I slipped out of the shoes. Once again, my heart was warmed by his thoughtfulness and further motivated me to please him tonight -- so much so that I almost talked myself into putting the heels back on!

"Maybe next time I fuck someone for you, I'll wear the shoes," I said to him. His eyes widened with excitement. It was the first time either one of us said anything about doing this again. I wasn't sure I was going to want to do it again, but it didn't hurt to convey it as a possibility for now. It all depended on how this night went.

My husband stepped back and joined Jose in ogling me as I sported nothing but a necklace, anklet, and my wedding rings. I tried not to be self-conscious about my mom body, and I was relieved that it was before winter and not after winter, which makes a big difference in my tan. The dim glow of the lights in the room lit up my skin nicely, and if either of the men had any reservation of what they were looking at, they did a good job hiding it.

My mind moved from self-consciousness to anticipation of what was about to occur. It was here that it hit me that I was about to have two men tear into me. I used to fantasize about a threesome like this when I was younger but gave up on the possibility of it actually happening long before I got married. Now both my chest and my groin began to feel hot as I thought about how these two guys were about to double-team me in a matter of moments.