Diary,
I such a naughty BITCH!! I've developed a connection with a Black man on line and I'll let the story speak for itself as it has unfolded. His name is Randy, and I chatted on line with him a few times before I really started to warm up to him. He (Randy) is so interesting, and he LISTENS to me!!!!! Anyway, I told him right off that I was married and wasn't looking to meet and he was totally ok with that, and it made me more interested! So, we talked and talked and talked, and then talked some more (by now we were on web cam) . . . . . . and it started with me deciding to flash him my tits!! It was an impulse, ok forgive me!!! I just wanted to see his reaction, and boy did I get one!! He was not shy about showing his cock (nor should he have been if you know what I mean) . . . . . . . he teased me at first, slowly unbuttoning his shirt and trousers, slipping them down to reveal his boxers, then slowwwwwwwly down with those to reveal a long and thick cock!! I wasn't sure how big it actually was because it was just on my computer. Then he held a bottle of Bud next to it, and it was pretty much the same length, and VERY thick also!! I couldn't believe it, and still don't (or at least can't seem to fathom such a cock actually existing)!!?!??!!!
I typed to him to tell him how impressed I was by what I saw. He wasn't shy about what he wanted to see and very firmly said that he wanted to see my pussy!!!!!!!! I felt completely flush, at first. But after Randy encouraged me (he told me how sexy he thought I was, how turned on I had made him, and so on) I succumbed to his charms. It may seem bizzare, dear diary, but after he bumped up the ante by showing his manhood he kind of made me feel guilty of being a tease if I DIDN'T show him . . . . . . It was bullshit, really, but I didn't want to loose my connection with Randy, and he made it clear that he expected me to pro quid quo. I felt my hands trembling as I hooked my thumbs at the hips of my sweats and slid them down . . . . . . . I couldn't even bring myself to look into the camera lens as I did the deed. Instead I faced to the side as my hands brought the sweats down my legs and off my feet. My thighs felt like jelly as I lifted my legs to the desktop and opened my lips to the web cam.
I looked up at the screen and Randy's cock was totally erect and he was stroking it as he looked right at my married white pussy! I felt so damned naughty and dirty and like I was over exposed all at the same time. I also felt like a bit of a slut, but in a way that seemed to like (my pussy was drenched). I was transfixed as his hands slid over the length of that tool, and as I stared I couldn't help but touch myself. When he came it was in a thick stream, and I could see it clearly on the dark blackness of his hand. It sent me over the edge and I climaxed for this man . . . . . . .
I wrote that I had to go and would contact him, and logged off.
I still can't believe I did that. It was so raw, and I don't regret what happened (except that I feel a bit slutty and exposed to a strange man).
I have to admit that I was intrigued by this man, and his manhood. I married George when I was young, and I didn't really experiment sexually very much. I never had even the twinge of regret, until I saw Randy's manhood. I CANNOT even begin to imagine actually fitting something that big into myself down there. But it is kind of hot to fantasize about, and I have been . . . . . . I have started to catch myself daydreaming about Randy's cock (I know a bit weird) sometimes when I have free time.
7/23
Dear Diary,
What have I gotten myself into? I told myself after the last Internet interlude with Randy I decided not to contact him again. I lasted only one day before I reached out to him. It is not entirely my fault. Damn George for putting me into this situation! I was a perfectly happy housewife and HE pushed me to check out Black cock, and after seeing what I've been missing out on with Randy I couldn't help but think about that Black cock that I saw CONTINUOUSLY since we played sexually on line. I was embarrassed and turned on at the same time. Embarrassed that a man other than my husband had seen my pussy. Turned on for the very same reason. The conflict between the two sides was as effective at making me cream as a hard cock! The twist was erotic and palpable.
So, I gave in to my desires and logged on to 'the site', and saw Randy's handle. He was in a private chat and I sent a message and waited for a response. I was strangely finding myself a bit jealous at the thought that he was talking to another white woman, which is weird I fully well know.
So I had to wait for Randy's attention. Other men messaged me, but I decided to ignore them all. I had chatted with other Black men on the site before Randy. But he was special to me, and I have to admit that I wanted more of him. I felt angry at myself that he was chatting with another white woman, feeling that I might have blown a chance with him by waiting to contact him. Honestly I didn't feel like it was fair to blame him for chatting with other women (since I had kind of blown him off), and not being able to have him at that instant made me want him all the more!! It was making my kind of sick how much I felt like I needed to talk to this man.
Eventually I got a response and had Randy to myself on web cam. We chatted for a while, and he told me that his feelings were hurt by the blowoff, and that it was too bad for me. He told me that he thought I was just playing him, and wanted me to prove that I was committed to him. I asked what he wanted and he told me that he wanted a repeat performance of the other night - but this time he wanted for George to watch as I gave in to him. I pleaded with him that I wasn't comfortable bringing my poor husband into it, to which he responded that that was exactly why he wanted it. Randy demanded that I prove my devotion to him in front of George, and he wouldn't bend. I felt slightly torn. Here was this hot young Black man that had made my pulse race. And in the living room was my loving husband. Randy knew all about George, and was demanding that I basically humiliate George for him.
I decided to give in, and called George into the room. I have to admit that it was fucking hot! Knowing that George wanted to see me with a Black man made the choice easier. But I wasn't prepared for how hard I would cum as I cybered with Randy while my husband watched!
When Randy and I were done I told George to leave the room, and he did. The I typed an IM to Randy asking if he would like to meet in real life tomorrow night! My heart was pounding as I hit send. He responded that he'd love to meet. I wrote back that I'd let him know in the morning, but that I needed to take things VERY SLOW in real life. He replied that he'd never pressure me into anything. We logged off and left it there.
I called my husband back into our bedroom. I gave him every out, diary you HAVE to believe me, of this. I made him just about beg me to take this whole thing to the next step! I am still feeling strange about this, at least a little, and I made him agree that any relationship I have outside out marriage would be completely independent of his control or wishes if I start to see another man . . . . . . and he AGREED!!!!!!!! I thought that would make him back down, and it didn't at all. I just know he will still think that he might still have a choice in this if I start a relationship, but I forced him to concede ALL rights to say ANYTHING if I agreed!!!!!!!!
He still agreed!! So I informed him that I was taking him up on his offer and had a date planned for tomorrow night, and that since I was not comfortable with the idea of dating more than one man at a time he had to move into the guestroom!! And no more sex for him!!!!!
7/24
Dear Diary,
It's 2:30 in the morning, what a date I had tonight!! Randy is so much more than I expected! When we were chatting on line I liked him, fine. But I still thought that meeting in real life would be awkward as hell. But I was COMPLETELY WRONG! He didn't even try to pressure me for sex (which I was expecting and would have bee a total turn off if he had), instead we talked about each other and what we wanted to find if we did decided to date. I felt like I was bringing TONS of baggage to the possible relationship (since I was married), and told Randy all about George and his fixation on me having sex with a Black man being how we had found each other (in a round about way). The thing that surprised me is that he wasn't either A. surprised at, or B. judgmental of George (which I felt a lot of relief about since I DO still love my husband, even if I still don't understand this fantasy from his perspective). Randy has this ability to make me feel like I could tell him ANYTHING, and I pretty much did. I made the conscious decision to reveal everything about my marriage with George. EVERYTHING! I want Randy to feel like he is the man on the inside of this so that he doesn't get scared off by George. I revealed everything my husband and I had tried in bed. I even revealed fantasies that I've never told my husband about because I thought George would be into them.
Randy listened thoughtfully as we sipped wine. He was a gentleman, and offered me some interesting insights about my husband. He informed me that there were a growing number of white husbands that were coming out and admitting to their wives that they wanted the exact same thing as George! I was mesmerized as he assured me that we could date and go to places that catered to just such couples, white wives and their Black lovers!
I decided to call him on it and said that I thought that was bullshit. He offered to take me to just such a night club. I still wasn't ready to get into a stranger's car (since I didn't really know him very well yet), but that I would follow him in my car. He paid our bar tab, and we left.
I followed him to a part of town that could only be called 'the wrong side of the tracks'. We live in the deep south, and things around here are still pretty segregated. We found parking spaces, and I was feeling a little twinge about the uncertainty of the situation. It felt a little scary, but that turned me on.
As Randy and I walked to the door he whispered in my ear saying, "Baby, I don't want any other men hitting on you while we are out. Would you mind if I put my arm around you?"
I felt so warm towards him that he was such a gentleman as to ask. I felt his desire for me right from the start. But by giving me the option I felt like he was respecting me, and so my answer came easy.
"Sure, I'd love that." I said as I gazed into his eyes.
His hand on my hip gave me a twinge of energy. I could FEEL this man's desire for me, more than my husband had shown for some time.
We entered the club, and true to his word the room was composed of white women and Black men! The music was pumping pretty loud and there was a dance floor that was already mostly full. I felt like I was dressed a touch prudish for this particular room. Many of the woman were dressed pretty scantily, but not slutty.
