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Author's Note: Okay this is a long one but it's a tribute piece to Harddaysknight's "Carry That Weight." My sincere thanks to HDK for giving me his permission to offer my continuation to his story.
Warning: This is a tribute piece so if you don't like HDK stories, you'll probably hate this one! As a tribute story I try to stay consistent with the author's style and perceived storyline. In other words, if the original story ended leaning towards reconciliation, then you can expect a reconciliation story. So be warned, if attempted reconciliation stories ain't your thing... skip this one!
Also as a tribute piece I try to keep the characters as close as possible to the original, even those aspects I don't like. I try to add as little additional backstory as possible, especially not little story altering bombs such as past affairs, past abuses, alien abductions etc. Unfortunately I felt several things needed to happen in order to make this ending believable, so I had to add more than I'd originally intended. Because of that, this story turned out to be about five times longer than the original (yeah, very unlike HDK!).
I did break it into chapters, for those who don't have the time to read it all in one sitting. Chapter 1 (about 12k words), Chapter 2 (9.5k), Chapter 3 (8k), Chapter 4 (1k).
Also, need to thank blackrandl1958 for her editing. Yeah there's some grammar errors in this story, they're my fault so don't blame the lady. Apparently, I'm an ass and don't like to change my ways. LOL! (my words not hers) A special shout out to findingmyvoice, Mostera1 and outofshadows for their story input. Between this quartet they made this story much, much better!
BTW I know it's a 'duh' statement but... you need to read HDK's story first!
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I saw the determination on Ashley's face. How long could she hold out? How long could I? I had loved her without reservation. Had she killed it, or could she save that love? I sincerely hoped she could, but the burden was on her now, and sadly, I had my doubts. At least I wouldn't be spending life in prison, or swallowing the barrel of a 12 gauge, as I extracted my pound of flesh.
I had learned long ago that hurting or disappointing those I love was more painful in the long run than an old fashion ass whipping. Jeff and Ashley would both find that out, or so I hoped.
Carry That Weight
--Harddaysknight
Chapter 1 - Intervention
I guess Shakespeare got it right. "The gods look down, and at this unnatural scene they laugh."
After almost a year, I could still hear their laughter.
That's how long it'd been since the infamous Memorial Day Connor family reunion. It'd been ten long months of dealing with the aftermath of being hailed as a hero, having my seventeen year marriage gutted, and trying to adjust to day-to-day living with the aftermath.
Now, I was driving up to the Connor estate again. This time, it was for a small weekend gathering that had been organized by Agnes Winters, my wife's cousin. I'd initially declined the invitation until Agnes told me "the shit's about to hit the fan, Tom, so we all need a face-to-face." I was irritated at her frankness but I knew she was right... things couldn't go on the way they had for very much longer.
When I caught my wife in bed with my best friend I'd decided to let them bear the weight of their guilt and the burden of trying to save our relationships. It was obvious they were failing. Most noticeably, my wife was starting to give up.
No, they weren't continuing their short affair, at least not to my knowledge. Initially, they avoided each other, but as the birth of Thomas Jeffrey, TJ, neared, I knew Jeff contacted Ashley. They talked a few months afterwards, as well, until something happened. For the last several months, it seemed like Ashley was avoiding Jeff all together. Their relationship was now ice cold, and Ashley's and my marriage was on its deathbed.
Where Jeff and I had once been inseparable, now, he could barely stand to be around me for more than a couple hours. I guess the guilt was overwhelming.
The changes in our relationships hadn't gone unnoticed. My teenage children, Arlene and Jeffrey, my mother-in-law, Andrea, along with Amber and Amy, could all see things were falling apart and they'd been asking questions. I'd deflected most of them so that I don't think anyone suspected what was actually wrong. Well, anyone except for Amber.
It didn't take her long to suspect whatever was wrong involved Jeff and Ashley. It was evident very early that she was also too afraid to verify her suspicions. After the birth of TJ, she became deeply depressed, and now their marriage was as strained as mine.
My own marriage was still on life support. Ashley had been trying to make up for sleeping with my best friend. She'd been fighting a losing battle since that was impossible. Even though she tried to maintain her, "hey look I'm a martyr" façade, I could sense she was starting to give out.
It'd been a few months after that infamous Memorial Day before Ashley tried to re-establish any physical relationship with me. Not surprisingly, I didn't have any problems
getting it up
with her. Even in her forties, she's still a beautiful and sexy woman. No, the physical part of our married life wasn't the issue; the problem was it was just sex.
I remembered Ashley's reaction the first time she tried her marathon make-up sex ploy. Ploy? Yes, I realized she was trying to bridge the ever widening emotional gap that was forming between us. She'd gone all out to try and assure me I was still everything she'd ever desired in bed. She'd given me her medical clearance earlier and had arranged for the kids to stay with friends. Her disappointment was noticeable when I still pulled out a box of condoms.
That night she tried to kill me with sex by pushing my middle-aged body past its limit. She gave me access to every one of her orifices, something she rarely did since she hated anal. I guess I'm an asshole since I willingly took it.
It was afterwards, when we were both lying there in the afterglow, exhausted, sweat still pouring off us and gasping for air when reality set in. She whispered her undying love for me and I froze. I looked into her eyes then silently rolled over. I heard her muffled sobs as I fell asleep.
Even though we'd resumed having sex again, I was using her. I tried not to abuse her. I made sure she physically enjoyed our couplings, but emotionally I'd put up a wall. I was making sure I didn't invest too much into our marriage. I'd been badly hurt once, and it wasn't going to happen again.
I knew by emotionally shutting down I was protecting myself, but killed any chance my marriage had of recovering. What's worse, I guess, is I'm also slowly killing the man I once was; but the alternatives seem worse... much worse.
As we approached the old renovated inn, I felt like we were returning to the scene of a crime.
I noticed I wasn't the only one. Ashley had barely said a dozen words the past twenty minutes. Even Andrea and Arlene were eerily silent as they traveled with us. I was thankful Jeffery had stayed home this weekend because of a school sporting event. He was spending the weekend with a friend and teammate. I had the feeling he'd be the luckiest one of us.
When we arrived we were met by Amy, but Jeff and Amber were nowhere to be seen. Amy told us they'd left her baby brother back home with her grandmother, but she and her parents had arrived yesterday, as did Bill and Agnes. She gave everyone a huge welcome hug, but her smile implied something was bothering her. When she hugged me, I noticed she clung especially tight.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I asked softly.
Her eyes filled with tears.
"Mom and Dad are fighting again. This time, it's really, really bad."
I gave her another hug.
I looked over at Ashley and saw her struggling to watch Amy's obvious pain. She averted her eyes and wouldn't look at me. I knew the guilt was still eating at her, even though she tried to hide it.
Amy showed us to our rooms, and I noticed they were in the opposite end of the inn from last year. It was a nice touch by Agnes to remove as many reminders from our last visit as possible. Agnes and Bill stopped by the room to welcome us as we were unpacking.
Agnus and Bill were interesting. They tended to frequently represent the Connor family at social events, and even officially worked with the Connor Foundation, the family philanthropic entity.
Agnes was a few years older than me and was very attractive, not in Ashley or Amber's league, but still very attractive. Bill was several years older than all the rest of us, and resembled an older brother who hovered around the group. He was an accomplished attorney and his soft spoken, laid-back demeanor seemed to balance his wife's blunt aggressive one. Overall, they seemed like a perfect match.
Agnes said lunch would consist of us making our own sandwiches in the kitchen. We'd then be meeting in the inn's huge game room after lunch. Apparently, Amber was going to join Andrea, Arlene, and Amy for a short hike around the surrounding estate grounds. That would give us time to begin our talks without interruptions.
As we unpacked, Ashley stopped several times. I knew she wanted to say something but she was struggling to find the words. It was a sad dance we'd done for the last ten months. I wouldn't let her try to explain or justify what she'd done and she didn't know how to deal with that.
Why was I being such a hard ass by living in denial? Simple really, it was survival. I knew if she tried to discuss what happened then I'd be forced to respond. I didn't see our marriage surviving that. Besides, there wasn't anything she could say that would take away the pain or heal the marriage. Her explanation would've only brought our marriage to its end and that was something I still wasn't ready to face.
However, I wasn't blind; I realized the writing was on the wall. Ashley has becoming more and more depressed and wasn't able to hide her frustration and sadness.
"Tom?" she said softly.
I stopped and turned towards her. She was still beautiful even though she looked exhausted. Ashley, along with most Connor women, was genetically blessed with the deadly combination of a beautiful face and body. No doubt, there were women who were prettier, or had better legs, or more breath-taking breasts, or even traffic-stopping asses, but it was the combination of all parts which set the Connor women apart. It was the sum of the parts, as it's said, that propelled Connor women into an elite class. Add to this the Connor money and influence, and it was understandable why many people tended to be jealous of them.
Even at forty-three, Ashley certainly encompassed the Connor female mold. Her designer top did nothing but enhance her barely c-cup breasts as they sat proudly on her lithe muscular frame. Her jeans were like a second skin that gently caressed her well defined legs and covered her cute little ass. Her luscious thick hair capped her statuesque body with its shoulder-length, golden curls framing her usually beautiful face.
Now, something was missing. Her once normally radiant smile had been gone for quite a while, and her bright blue eyes looked dimmer. The laugh lines around her eyes were now more evident, and the worry lines on her forehead were seemingly deeper. She also looked like she was wrestling with what her next step should be. That was something new in our marriage. Before this year from hell, Ashley had always been so sure of herself and what direction her life was headed. Now, she seemed confused and frustrated.
She'd always prided herself on being in control of her situation, as much as it allowed. One of her strengths was that she could analyze a problem logically and unemotionally, and come up with a plan to bring the situation to its best possible conclusion. Unfortunately, she'd met her match with the current state of our marriage.
