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Author's Note: Okay this is a long one but it's a tribute piece to Harddaysknight's "Carry That Weight." My sincere thanks to HDK for giving me his permission to offer my continuation to his story.
Warning: This is a tribute piece so if you don't like HDK stories, you'll probably hate this one! As a tribute story I try to stay consistent with the author's style and perceived storyline. In other words, if the original story ended leaning towards reconciliation, then you can expect a reconciliation story. So be warned, if attempted reconciliation stories ain't your thing... skip this one!
Also as a tribute piece I try to keep the characters as close as possible to the original, even those aspects I don't like. I try to add as little additional backstory as possible, especially not little story altering bombs such as past affairs, past abuses, alien abductions etc. Unfortunately I felt several things needed to happen in order to make this ending believable, so I had to add more than I'd originally intended. Because of that, this story turned out to be about five times longer than the original (yeah, very unlike HDK!).
I did break it into chapters, for those who don't have the time to read it all in one sitting. Chapter 1 (about 12k words), Chapter 2 (9.5k), Chapter 3 (8k), Chapter 4 (1k).
Also, need to thank blackrandl1958 for her editing. Yeah there's some grammar errors in this story, they're my fault so don't blame the lady. Apparently, I'm an ass and don't like to change my ways. LOL! (my words not hers) A special shout out to findingmyvoice, Mostera1 and outofshadows for their story input. Between this quartet they made this story much, much better!
BTW I know it's a 'duh' statement but... you need to read HDK's story first!
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I saw the determination on Ashley's face. How long could she hold out? How long could I? I had loved her without reservation. Had she killed it, or could she save that love? I sincerely hoped she could, but the burden was on her now, and sadly, I had my doubts. At least I wouldn't be spending life in prison, or swallowing the barrel of a 12 gauge, as I extracted my pound of flesh.
I had learned long ago that hurting or disappointing those I love was more painful in the long run than an old fashion ass whipping. Jeff and Ashley would both find that out, or so I hoped.
Carry That Weight
--Harddaysknight
Chapter 1 - Intervention
I guess Shakespeare got it right. "The gods look down, and at this unnatural scene they laugh."
After almost a year, I could still hear their laughter.
That's how long it'd been since the infamous Memorial Day Connor family reunion. It'd been ten long months of dealing with the aftermath of being hailed as a hero, having my seventeen year marriage gutted, and trying to adjust to day-to-day living with the aftermath.
Now, I was driving up to the Connor estate again. This time, it was for a small weekend gathering that had been organized by Agnes Winters, my wife's cousin. I'd initially declined the invitation until Agnes told me "the shit's about to hit the fan, Tom, so we all need a face-to-face." I was irritated at her frankness but I knew she was right... things couldn't go on the way they had for very much longer.
When I caught my wife in bed with my best friend I'd decided to let them bear the weight of their guilt and the burden of trying to save our relationships. It was obvious they were failing. Most noticeably, my wife was starting to give up.
No, they weren't continuing their short affair, at least not to my knowledge. Initially, they avoided each other, but as the birth of Thomas Jeffrey, TJ, neared, I knew Jeff contacted Ashley. They talked a few months afterwards, as well, until something happened. For the last several months, it seemed like Ashley was avoiding Jeff all together. Their relationship was now ice cold, and Ashley's and my marriage was on its deathbed.
Where Jeff and I had once been inseparable, now, he could barely stand to be around me for more than a couple hours. I guess the guilt was overwhelming.
The changes in our relationships hadn't gone unnoticed. My teenage children, Arlene and Jeffrey, my mother-in-law, Andrea, along with Amber and Amy, could all see things were falling apart and they'd been asking questions. I'd deflected most of them so that I don't think anyone suspected what was actually wrong. Well, anyone except for Amber.
It didn't take her long to suspect whatever was wrong involved Jeff and Ashley. It was evident very early that she was also too afraid to verify her suspicions. After the birth of TJ, she became deeply depressed, and now their marriage was as strained as mine.
My own marriage was still on life support. Ashley had been trying to make up for sleeping with my best friend. She'd been fighting a losing battle since that was impossible. Even though she tried to maintain her, "hey look I'm a martyr" façade, I could sense she was starting to give out.
It'd been a few months after that infamous Memorial Day before Ashley tried to re-establish any physical relationship with me. Not surprisingly, I didn't have any problems
getting it up
with her. Even in her forties, she's still a beautiful and sexy woman. No, the physical part of our married life wasn't the issue; the problem was it was just sex.
I remembered Ashley's reaction the first time she tried her marathon make-up sex ploy. Ploy? Yes, I realized she was trying to bridge the ever widening emotional gap that was forming between us. She'd gone all out to try and assure me I was still everything she'd ever desired in bed. She'd given me her medical clearance earlier and had arranged for the kids to stay with friends. Her disappointment was noticeable when I still pulled out a box of condoms.
That night she tried to kill me with sex by pushing my middle-aged body past its limit. She gave me access to every one of her orifices, something she rarely did since she hated anal. I guess I'm an asshole since I willingly took it.
It was afterwards, when we were both lying there in the afterglow, exhausted, sweat still pouring off us and gasping for air when reality set in. She whispered her undying love for me and I froze. I looked into her eyes then silently rolled over. I heard her muffled sobs as I fell asleep.
Even though we'd resumed having sex again, I was using her. I tried not to abuse her. I made sure she physically enjoyed our couplings, but emotionally I'd put up a wall. I was making sure I didn't invest too much into our marriage. I'd been badly hurt once, and it wasn't going to happen again.
I knew by emotionally shutting down I was protecting myself, but killed any chance my marriage had of recovering. What's worse, I guess, is I'm also slowly killing the man I once was; but the alternatives seem worse... much worse.
As we approached the old renovated inn, I felt like we were returning to the scene of a crime.
I noticed I wasn't the only one. Ashley had barely said a dozen words the past twenty minutes. Even Andrea and Arlene were eerily silent as they traveled with us. I was thankful Jeffery had stayed home this weekend because of a school sporting event. He was spending the weekend with a friend and teammate. I had the feeling he'd be the luckiest one of us.
When we arrived we were met by Amy, but Jeff and Amber were nowhere to be seen. Amy told us they'd left her baby brother back home with her grandmother, but she and her parents had arrived yesterday, as did Bill and Agnes. She gave everyone a huge welcome hug, but her smile implied something was bothering her. When she hugged me, I noticed she clung especially tight.
