In the quest to get laid, every one of us has made a promise or two we didn't intend to keep. Sometimes, an old promise can come back to bite you!
The instant I set eyes on Kimberly, I fell desperately in love with her. Who wouldn't? With that curly red hair, those huge soft breasts, those adorable freckles (even her breasts had freckles!), and those perfect shapely legs... Kimberly could take her pick of any man on earth. So why would she pick a guy like me, you ask? Well, that's where those promises come in.
When I met her, Kimberly was spoken for. She was engaged to this millionaire young black Wall Street trader, and they were head over heels for each other. How could I compete with him, with his downtown penthouse, his Lamborghini, and his other assets which I can't mention in polite company?
It seemed hopeless, but then something happened.
Her fiance got arrested and convicted: life sentence!
Suddenly, my orbiting paid off. Kimberly needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was that shoulder.
Soon, we were dating. But whenever the topic of marriage came up, Kimberly stopped me.
"I can't marry you," she told me. "I'm still in love with Jackson."
"Baby, I know you love Jackson," I said. "But Jackson's behind bars now. You'll never see him again."
"But what if he gets out?" said Kimberly.
So I made up a little white promise.
"I promise if Jackson ever gets out somehow, I'll step aside and let you go back to him."
"That would be a divorce!" said Kimberly. "You know how I feel about divorces."
"Okay," I said, improvising. "If Jackson ever gets out somehow, I'll stay with you even if you get back with him."
"Honey, do you know what you're saying?" said Kimberly. "Jackson is really jealous. He would never share me with another man."
Inside my head, I was rolling my eyes. Jackson was on the other side now! He was doing hard time! He and his co-conspirators had done a lot of damage to the state of New York, they weren't going to get out any time soon.
"Baby, I love you!" I told her. "I can't live without you. I'll do ANYTHING to marry you."
"But Jackson might get out somehow..."
"Baby, they put him away for good. I'll tell you what. If Jackson ever gets out, you can be with him as your boyfriend, and I'll stay your husband."
"Really?" said Kimberly. "You would do that for me?"
"I'd do anything for you, baby."
I kissed her.
"But you don't know what you're saying," said Kimberly. "Jackson would never let you touch me. You wouldn't be allowed to touch your own wife!"
"It's a risk I'm willing to take," I said, suavely.
"You might even have to raise his children..."
"If it comes to that, I'll do it," I promised.
The gambit worked. By April, we were married. I'm certain there was never a happier man in the world than me that day. Walking down the aisle with Kimberly was a dream come true. I would've never believed I could score a babe like that, and now she was my wife! I was elated.
We enjoyed five years of marital bliss. It's like our honeymoon never ended, and our LIFE was one long, loving honeymoon.
And then the news arrived which I never believed was possible.
On his last day in office, the outgoing governor gave Jackson a full pardon.
Kimberly looked up from the letter and it was like she had seen a ghost.
"Jackson is coming back," she said.
I swallowed hard. Surely after all this time, Kimberly wouldn't hold me to my promises?
"He's coming here," said Kimberly. "He's gonna come live with us until he gets a place of his own."
Kimberly didn't mention the promises I had made to her. I strategically kept my mouth shut. Maybe she had forgotten? Or maybe after five years of happy married life, she would CHOOSE to forget them?
As soon as Jackson arrived, I knew I was in trouble.
He greeted Kimberly with a passionate kiss in the doorway. Kimberly reciprocated.
Dinner was awkward that night, to put it rather mildly. My wife and her ex were all over each other. It's as if I was invisible.
Jackson wasn't what you'd expect from a high-powered Wall Street trader. He was jet black, with chiseled abs and rippling biceps, and gang tattoos on his face! How the "good old boys club" ever let him in, I will never know. Maybe he was really good at picking stocks? Or maybe it had something to do with all those white-collar crimes he got thrown in the slammer for. But all that didn't matter now. The governor signed his pardon and Jackson was a free man. A free man who was currently pawing my WIFE and acting like he OWNED her!
"Honey, I need to spend some time with Jackson," said Kimberly. "Can you go hang out with your friends tonight?"
Leaving her alone with Jackson was the LAST thing I wanted to do, but I did it. I went to my watering hole. I spent some quality time with a bottle, while at home, my wife was spending quality time with her EX.
I kept telling myself: everything will be alright. Kimberly isn't gonna just throw away everything we've built these five years.
I was welcomed home by a note on the table.
"Dear Husband, thanks for your understanding. I put some snacks in the fridge for you, be sure to microwave them. I set up the guest room, please sleep in there tonight. Let Jackson and I have our privacy in the bedroom. Love, Kimberly."
To say that she 'set up' the guest room isn't telling the whole story. She had moved ALL of my stuff there!
I crept upstairs to listen in. I didn't even have to put my ear to the door. I could hear them from clear down the hall. The quiet squeaking of the bed, and an occasional moan from Kimberly.
It wouldn't have hurt quite so bad, somehow, if I had heard loud headboard-slamming-the-wall noises, or wild grunting. It wouldn't have hurt quite so bad, if Jackson was merely just FUCKING my wife.
Instead, they were making love.
I stood transfixed by the doorway, listening for what seemed like an eternity.
The quiet squeaking of the bed and the scattered whimpers from my wife kept on going for what seemed like forever.
Occasionally one of them would say something, in a voice too low to decipher. Sometimes Kimberly would giggle after something Jackson said to her. And then it was right back to the quiet squeaking of the bedsprings and Kimberly's occasional moaning.
Twice, I heard my beautiful wife scream in uncontrollable ecstacy.
Several times, I heard them changing positions.
Damn, I thought. For a guy that just got out of prison, Kimberly's ex has a lot of stamina!
But then again, maybe this wasn't their first lovemaking session. They could've made love two or three times already while I was out giving them 'privacy'.
After what seemed like hours, the squeaking started to speed up. Kimberly's moans were mixed with her lover's grunts now.
"Where?" said Jackson's voice through the closed door.
"Inside me!"
Then Jackson groaned and I could tell it was the climax.
Kimberly started wailing. She was having a HUGE orgasm.
Then the sounds of lovemaking were replaced by lots of kissing sounds.
I slunk back to the guest room.