A big thank you to Randi for editing skill and generousity.
There's no sex in this story, if that's your thing, then I suggest you pass on this one.
*****
"You know what I miss most from my younger years, is dating," Marissa said.
Leanne laughed lightly. "Oh my god. I've forgotten what it's like to go on a date. I keep hounding Clive, but he just ignores me."
"Bullshit, oh yeah, I call bullshit on that," Clive stated loudly. "We go out all the time."
She sighed deeply. "Yeah, we go out, but not on dates. We come to these parties, we go to work functions, but we never go out as in a date."
Renee gave her a hug. "You're not alone, Leanne. I can't remember the last time we went out as a couple."
Jade chimed in with her take. "You guys are lucky. The only time we get out of the house together, is here with you guys. If it wasn't for our girls nights and these parties, we would have no social life at all."
"Same for us," Helle added.
"Jeez, you'd think we were the worst husbands in the world," Nolan, Jade's husband, jeered. "We all have kids, we all work. Life doesn't always allow for romance."
"That's what I'm saying," Marissa said. "I wasn't blaming anyone, but after fifteen years of marriage, I miss the joys of going on a date."
"Honey, it's difficult at the moment," Joe, her husband, grumbled.
"I know that." She sighed. "I'm just saying. When we were young we went on dates, had those experiences, the novelty. Now after all these years, we don't even go out."
"At least you had dates," Helle said. "Sonny and I went from playing in the playground as best mates to being husband and wife. I've never even had a date."
"Oh my god," Leanne gasped. "You have to be kidding, never been on a date? That's criminal."
Everybody laughed. Yeah, it was true, Sonny thought. Helle and he had grown up together. They had always been mates, loved the same things. She was mad about sports, played representative hockey, played squash.
They went from best mates to lovers when they went to Otago for University. Their parents never questioned when they said they were going to be flat mates. Flat mates, yeah, they shared more than the flat, they shared a bed.
After Uni, they came clean to their parents and were married soon after. Helle wanted kids, and it didn't take long to start their family. What she said wasn't untrue. They never really went on dates. They went out together, but usually with other mates. Especially when they were both still playing competitive sport.
Once married, the kids came straight away and then their world exploded with all the things family require. Dating, neither of them had ever been with anyone else.
Sonny thought quickly, he had never even kissed another woman. Helle was the same. Considering it, Sonny thought, I never really saw it as any sort of deprivation, and up until that moment, didn't realise Helle harboured some sense of disappointment or disillusionment.
Renee added her thoughts. "I have to say. We're so busy with the kids. We never go out either. God, when was the last time we went out anywhere other than these get together, Phil?"
He shrugged. "Pass, I can't remember."
"Yeah, it was a long time ago." Renee sighed. "I used to love dating, especially first dates. I loved the unknown, what he would be like, would we have anything in common, would he be funny. When I think about it, I do miss that."
"I'm with you," Jade said with a giggle. "I used to enjoy getting taken out to nice restaurants, and interesting places. Even when Nolan and I do go out, we always end up going to the same places, talking about the same things. It's nice, but not the same as the mystery of the first date."
It was Joe who said rather cynically. "Bloody hell, sounds like you lot want to go back to being single." He glanced around the group as we all balanced plates and glasses. "Whatya reckon, fellas? Should we we give them what they want, divorce?"
"Oh, don't be an arse. We're just saying you blokes could do a little better on the romance side of things," Marissa threw back in a quick rebuttal.
"Jeez yeah," Jade added her support. "Although, it would be nice to go out on a first date again. I mean, come on. Even when we do go out, we end up talking about the same old things, the kids, the house, renovations, getting the car fixed, money. It's the same old same old. It would be nice to have a little mystery."
Helle got up and started collecting the plates and cutlery. "I would love a little romance." She sighed as she walked into the kitchen, the girls hot on her heels to help out.
Joe rolled his eyes back, sighing, "Bloody hell. What a crock of shit. As if we have time for that after work and trying to keep shit together."
One of the girls called out loudly. "We can hear you, dick head."
We all laughed. "Nosy bitch," Nolan yelled loudly.
The girls walked back in with the dessert, and we finally managed to move off the subject. We had planned to take a Christmas holiday as a group, and we were going over where we would go. Helle's folks had a place up in the Marlborough Sounds. It was only accessible by boat, and it sounded idyllic. It was the top pick so far. It would be a bit of fun, mostly camping, but the site was spectacular.
It was on the drive home that Helle and Sonny's night got a bit sticky.
"Why didn't you say something to me, before throwing it into that bunch?" Sonny asked.
Helle, feeling a little guilty, mumbled, "I'm sorry if you felt targetted or offended. I guess I hadn't really thought about it until Marissa brought it up."
"Bullshit, you jumped right into that discussion. You can't tell me you hadn't been thinking about it," Sonny grumbled.
"Yes, sorry. You're right, I guess I've been feeling that we don't do much together anymore. I know it's as much my fault. We are both busy. I didn't mean it as an insult. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do some things just for us, just you and me."
"Then why didn't you say that? Why go on about never having a date?"
"Because that's the truth. We never went on dates. We hung around together and fell in love. I guess I do regret the fact I never went on a date. I'm not talking about sex, either. I'm just talking about going to dinner, or a movie."
"But we did heaps of that when we were younger."
"No we didn't," she snapped bitingly. "We went to movies with all our other friends on Saturday nights. We went down the burger place or the pizza joint, but it was always as part of a group." She looked at Sonny with a pensive grimace. "We, as in you and I, never did go anywhere by ourselves."
She tried to soften her words. She realised they sounded a bit confrontational. "I'm not complaining, Sonny. I loved those days. I wouldn't give them up for anything. I love you and our family. I guess I wonder what it would be like to be picked up by somebody and taken to a posh restaurant, not knowing what we will talk about. Not knowing whether I even like them."
"Not complaining." Sonny sighed angrily. "Doesn't bloody sound like it..."
She sighed again, wistfully this time. "I know, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."
They finished the trip in silence. Theirs had been a wonderful marriage filled with lots of beautiful memories. When they moved to Christchurch from Nelson for work, they knew nobody. It took a long time for them to make the group of friends to which they now belonged.
As always, it was a combination of work colleagues, who had other friends. Slowly but surely, they slipped into the group, and now they were tighter than ever.
That night, Sonny had a restless night. That evening was the first time he had ever seen anything other than positive emotions from Helle. It left him unsettled.
Helle didn't sleep well either. For her it was different. She saw the hurt her words had caused and that made her feel like shit. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling. Tonight was the first time she had voiced them, but she had been feeling unsettled. It was part of conversations she and the girls had been having over the last few months.
All the girls felt the same way, and it had recently become a regular part of their conversations. They all thought their men were not holding up their ends of the marriage bargain.
The next morning, Sonny packed his golf clubs in the car and drove off to the guys usual golf game. Okay, it was less about golf, and more about the number of beers they drank on their way around the course. They were far from serious golfers. The day was more about the social element. They laughed and told jokes, made fun of each others game.
This time was no different, although the events of the previous night were top of the hit list.
"What the fuck was all that bout?" Sonny complained.
"Yeah, bloody hell. I mean we have to work, mow lawns, do gardens, repairs on the house, repairs on the frigging cars. On top of that, we're expected to be all sentimental and mushy," Nolan said, loaded with frustration.
"I get it." Phil sighed. "I know what they were getting at. But shit, they had it in for all of us. That was a bit much."
"You get it?" Joe snorted derisively. "Fuck me, bro, are you on the rags or something?"
"Fuck you, Phil. I'm just saying we could all do better. It's their fault as much as it is ours. I get home from work absolutely shagged. What do I find when I get home... My wife in old track pants and a sloppy T- shirt. Then she complains when I don't get romantic."
"Yeah, same at my place," Clive agreed. "I'd probably be a little more receptive if she tried a little harder. The old I've got a headache wears thin after a while."
