My heart skipped a beat when I looked up in the rear view mirror and caught the flashing lights coming up behind me.
I had been just cruising along in my new z06 Corvette, the gravelly sounds of Bob Seger flowing out of the Bose speakers.
I slipped through the little town, obeying the speed limit nicely, but as I hit the open four lane I felt my "oats" a little, and leaned on the hammer.
One thing about these cars, they move! I was enjoying the feeling of being completely planted into the seat, the windshield display ticked up to 140 MPH and I rolled off the throttle reluctantly.
There was lots more left, the one problem with these machines is there really is no place to use them fully.
Within seconds, I spotted the lights in the distance, coming fast. I settled in at a steady 60 MPH, doing my best to pretend innocence.
It was obvious he was coming after me. The last ticket I had was for doing 45 in a 30 MPH zone, that one had cost me $20, that gives you an idea of how long it had been.
The lights rolled up close behind me, I flipped on the blinkers and pulled over. "Damn!" I thought, already thinking of the grin I would get from the insurance agent when he found out.
I turned down the Segar tune, hit the button for the window, and waited.
"Get out of the car!!" I heard the voice shout, angry. I glanced in the mirror, he was standing back from the rear of the car, hand on his revolver.
"He better not point that damned thing at me!" Popped in my mind as I complied. I am the kind of guy that Cop or no Cop, point a gun at me, he better stay out of range or I am likely to try and take it away from him, it would just piss me off!
I looked him up and down, as he said, "What the hell! I got you on radar at 155 MPH!" He was almost shouting.
"Oh, Bullshit!" I retorted, "I wasn't even up to 140 yet!"
No goddamn sense of humor at all, he ordered me to place my hands on the car.
"Nervous SOB," I thought, but did as he asked. My driver's license was in my hand, he took it like it was a weapon or something, and stepped several feet back. I checked him out from the corner of my eye, big guy, bigger than me by a shade and I ain't little. I was starting to get irritated at having my hands on the paint job, it flashed stupidly into my head that I would have to go get the Chamois cloth and rub it out as soon as I got home.
Just then, I heard the radio crackle, a bunch of gibberish to me. But whatever they said made him visibly relax. He clipped my license to his clipboard, and told me to relax. It seems someone had knocked over the little convenience store a few minutes ago, and they were described as driving a red sports car. With my good luck, I had blasted by the cop at over 140, driving a red sports car!
So I turned and put my hands down, glancing at the spots my hands had left on the finish.
"Just a Massage therapist here!" I told him. "No armed robberies on my agenda"..It hit me then that he was African.
"So, feeling frisky, huh?" he said with a smile, looking the machine over in admiration. He handed me back my license, told me to "Cool it!" and started for his car. Just as he got there, he called out and asked me, "Say, are you the guy that works over at the College?" I told him yes, I worked there as a teacher.
"Got a card?" he asked.
"Now what the fuck?" I thought, as I fished one of my cards out of my pocket. "Read the card!" I thought. It says Ladies only in bold type, I wasn't much in the mood to have some huge black guy on my table, probably he would get a big boner and expect me to take care of it, and there is no way in hell!
I got in the car, and headed on to the house, holding a steady speed limit all the way as cars poured by me on the left.
I was grateful for not getting a ticket, but then there had been no one near me, I was up to speed and back to the limit in literally seconds, so no harm had been done.
I was back in a happy mood by the time I got home, I knew Lee was coming in from her week at the hospital this evening. I planned a nice dinner, had my bootleg copy of Harry Potter in my sack. I was looking forwards to snuggling up with my wife for a change. Lee is still the most exciting creature on the planet to me, even at 50, something about her just gets me going. Even thinking about letting my hands roam over her soft breasts gets my tool to rising right off the bat!
Lee showed up just as I was finishing the mashed potatoes, the sweet fried liver gravy was bubbling nicely. "MMMM, smells good!" she said as she gave me a huge hug and a kiss. My hands dropped to her snug fanny, and I was enjoying the embrace when the damned phone rang.
I picked up as Lee turned to take care of setting up the table.
"This is officer Jackson" the voice on the line said. I hesitated, a vision of a huge naked black guy on my table flashed in my mind. "Yes, Officer, how can I help you?" I answered.
"Well, I have heard of you" he said, "And I would like to set up an appointment." "Well, I don't..." was all I got out, when he said, "It's not for me, it's for the wife!....and I was thinking you owed me one"...he added, pointedly.
It popped in my mind that not getting the ticket saved me at least $500.00, and a few years of an extra grand a year in insurance, so probably he was right. Hell, I could have run into a Judge with no sense of humor and got a couple days unpaid vacation out of the deal, so yep!...Grateful...
"Well, yes, I work here at home" I told him.
"I was thinking maybe you could come here?" he asked.
I groaned under my breath, thinking that there goes my evening with Lee, when he said, "How about Sunday, it's my day off..."
It hit me then, I have seen the scenario before. "Would you like to be there?" I asked.
"Yes, I would like that," he answered.
I booked for Sunday, thanked him and went back to my evening.
It wasn't long after dinner before Lee and I were naked and rubbing up against each other like two puppies trying to get warm. This would make a nice story all by itself, but perhaps another time. Until you have been with a mate who is always like the first time, exploring and becoming one person, it is tough to describe.
Sunday rolled around, I was out rubbing out the paint on my car, when Lee reminded me of the appointment. Good thing, too, since it had gone right over my head, I almost never do outcalls any more.
I washed up, dressed and loaded up the van. I took a long last look at the z06 Corvette, sitting there in the garage. Nice day, cool but sunny, I could be out driving around, dang!
I pulled out on the highway for the 90 mile drive down to Salem, knowing Lee would be gone back to the hospital for a week by the time I got back.
I tried to relax as the miles clicked off. I had to hold the wheel slightly to keep the thing going straight, it had pulled a little ever since I had piled it up the year before.
"Need to have this looked at" popped in my head as I rolled along at 70 mph.
I found the house with no problem, the police cruiser parked in the driveway was sort of a giveaway.
It hit me that this guy drove the cruiser all the way from Salem to highway 30 for his route? "No wonder the damn taxes are so high!" I thought.
I nervously knocked on the door, expecting him to answer. The way my luck runs, his wife would be black with a fanny on her the size of a barrel, I almost giggled to myself at the thought.
The door opened, and here stood an absolute vision!
Blonde hair, highlights, blue eyes that looked like they were 2 feet deep, the white terrycloth robe she had pulled around her did nothing to hide the swell of her bosom.
She smiled, I swear the sun came out! "You must be Ted", she said. "Come on in, Terry is in the den!...I am Beth", she added.