Cecilia Faces An Existential Crisis
My Darling Husband Cyril
I was downbeat beyond the normal highs and lows we all face in January. My body clock said that I must get pregnant. 35 is getting late for childbirth. I wanted Trevor's baby but to stay married to you. I knew that you would never agree. So I wrestled with the moral dilemma.
I recalled the "gloomy Danish philosopher of existential crisis" Soren Kierkegaard. Soren felt God cursed him for impregnating a woman out of wedlock. I also felt shame for wanting a child out of wedlock. My baby must come from a loving relationship. That meant making love to Trevor.
I finally recognised that carrying Trevor's child would bring me a Kierkegaardian "authentic life". It felt spiritually, morally and intellectually right. This realisation meant I didn't give a damn what others say. I was not going to think of myself as a trollope or a whore. I was "fulfilling my destiny according to my nature"
After a few weeks of discussion Trevor agreed. We saw his private doctor. Dr Singh confirmed that Trevor could fertilise my eggs. His opinion was that I should not get pregnant. I told the good doctor that I would accept the extra risk of a late pregnancy. Trevor held my hand and agreed with me.
Dr Singh advised us both to lose weight slowly over at least 6 months and to eat only the healthy foods shown in his leaflet. He also gave us both an exercise regimen. I was not to overeat or to undereat. Most importantly we were both to give up alcohol.
I was disappointed that it would take six months time to be in peak condition for conception. Trevor asked if that meant no sex for 6 months. Dr Singh said even if we used condoms there is still a risk of conception, and therefore an unacceptably high risk to me. After 8 long months, we were "set to go" with Dr Singh's less than full blessing.
Trevor Addresses Cyril's Financial Problems And The Three Meet
Trevor specialises in aiding firms in financial difficulties. During the wait for Dr Singh's approval he used his skills to identify the problems that your firm faced. He warned me that he must do this alone. He could face banishment as a director and even imprisonment if he didn't follow Stock Exchange rules.
The next thing I know is that you tell me that your firm is in discussions "which may or may not lead to a takeover". I, along with other director's wives, am invited to the Studland Grand Hotel for a weekend of talks. Imagine my shock when I saw Trevor was on the "take over" team.
By chance we three were seated at the same table for the formal meal. Trevor and I played it cool. You never suspected that he and I were in love and we planned having adulterous sex.
You were impressed with Trevor's presentation. Your board met and agreed his suggestion to split into 2 - a low risk local firm and a higher risk national organisation. Suddenly your shares are worth double. Even better, as a national organisation Director you would get a substantially enhanced salary.
I spoke to Trevor only briefly. He said that you will see a lot of hotels in your new role. Trevor exhorted me to go with you as often and make you happy sexually. He said "Having great sex with your husband will not stop our arrangement, and it will help you keep him once you are carrying our child."
Cyril, I had great fun christening hotel bed rooms with you taking me in various sexual positions. Dr Singh's leaflets definitely helped our sex life. Even though we weren't quite up to the wheelbarrow position, it was fun trying.
My darling Cyril if you don't want to know the details of Trevor's lovemaking then skip the following page.
Trevor's Lovemaking
