Brenda's Confession

Author's Notes:

#1 WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

The following is a story about wives who cheat and husbands who love them enough to forgive them. If you want to see anyone humiliated or any woman kicked into the street, you really should stop reading now and choose another story.

#2 As with all my stories, everyone is over 18 years old.

#3 This is a 17.5K word story. Since I hate long stories I was torn between making two chapters or posting the entire story at once. I went with the latter because the story just didn't lend itself to a split. I tried to prevent Brenda from becoming one of the 'cardboard characters' too often found here. I'd sure like to hear your thoughts on my success. It makes no difference if you loved her or hated her, I'll consider myself successful either way. If she really doesn't stir any emotion, I'll have to go back to the drawing board.

*****

Prologue

I'm Brenda and don't have much time so I've been pushing myself to finish this before the 'Big C' finally wins. Ted has gone ahead; he's been waiting for me these two years now, but I have four daughters and six grand-daughters still here with me. They have taken excellent care of me since the doctor said those dreadful words, "We have to talk," therefore I want to help them to understand that the mistakes they made and will make are not unique. My hope is after reading my story they'll avoid some of the heartbreak so common in this brave new fucked-up world they will be forced to live in.

I know some of you, who have written memoirs for your kids only to have them never glance at your words, are sniggering and asking yourselves, "What makes this old gal think her kids will be different?" I think I have the answer, my will clearly states there will be a group reading before the estate is divided, and anyone who doesn't attend forfeits their share. Since millions are involved, I think I'll have their attention. Oh Yeah! Since others might benefit, the estate is instructed to post this on Literotica, so at least I tried. All who read will be warned; what they do with the warning is up to them.

*****

Brenda's Confession:

Who am I? I've already told you my name is Brenda, but that doesn't tell you anything about me. So—let's see, I'm a Christian, a mother, a grand-mother, an aunt, a nurse, and a housewife, who was very active in community projects. Ted was the moneymaker in our family; all he touched seemed to turn to gold. I, on the other hand, worked on every 'do good' project the various ladies' organizations could dream up. I am a woman who, was considered a MILF into my sixties, right up until the 'Big C" reared its ugly head. I was a regular attendee at church, I was a woman who loved sex, and I was and still am the chief of sinners. I know at least two of you girls are unbelievers and will scoff, but what you think makes no difference; the fact remains, I am a sinner, saved by the grace of Jesus, warts and all, and He will do the same for each of you if you'll only turn to him.

Okay, enough of the preaching, let's get on with my story. It begins back in 1956, the year a blonde bombshell, at least many boys described me like that—if the description didn't contain the words built like a BRICK SHITHOUSE—transferred to Jones Corner High and first laid eyes on the hunk who was quarterback and captain of the football team. One look at that boy, with his deep blue eyes, and his muscles developed from years of farm work, which also gave him a tan to die for, and my heart was lost. No, I don't say it was love at first sight, but for both of us it was at least lust at first sight that grew into love over the next few years.

It was during those first years of living in our own little paradise that I also met the snake that would later plague our lives. He came packaged in a body equal to Ted's; maybe even a little better in some ways, at least if you can pay attention to the talk in the girl's locker room. Andy was about the same size as Ted, but he had green eyes and blonde hair, almost the same color as mine.

When compared to Ted there was another difference. Ted was not an outgoing personality. He was always shy, never having much to say in spite of being the big football hero. I think it had to do with his home life. Except for football, Ted's Dad kept him busy on the farm. He couldn't go on dates until he was almost eighteen. The first year after I fell for him we only spent time together at school and church. Believe me; it put a cramp in normal teenage development.

Andy, on the other hand was Mr. Smooth. He drove the hottest car, thanks to a doting father; he always seemed to know just the right things to say to any girl he was trying to impress. Add to that the fact he was the best dancer in our class, for that matter in the entire school, and all girls seemed to fall at his feet. All except me—my eyes were only on Ted and that seemed to drive Andy crazy. He almost bugged me to death before finally deciding he just as well give up it. I was Ted's girl and that was that.

Now don't get me wrong, I really liked Andy; he was loads of fun to be around—when he wasn't pestering me for a date. While Ted was working on the farm after school, Andy was one of our group, both boys and girls, who hung out at the Rexall Drug Store. We spent hours listening to the Juke Box, drinking fountain sodas and having a great time.

Finally the big day came—graduation. We were both off to college, me to the College of Charleston to study nursing while Ted went to Clemson where he hoped to become a CPA and learn enough about finance to, as he put it, "Make money work for him." We were both wildly successful, but I'm about to get ahead of my story.

Move back a few weeks to prom week. It was set for Thursday night, and as of Tuesday recess, Ted still hadn't asked me to go with him.

"Aren't you going to ask me to the prom?" It was recess and we always spent it at a picnic table that was shaded by two ancient oaks. I had decided to take the bull by the horns.

"Ummm..." His face turned a bright red. "Umm, I wanted to, but you wouldn't enjoy being with me all night. I can't dance and you know how much you love it. Why don't you just go with Andy? He's dying to go with you." Ted wouldn't even look at me. At that moment I could have slapped his father silly; why couldn't he see the restrictions he put on Ted were turning him into a social misfit? I swear, I think the only time he could act like a normal teenager was when he was around me or playing football.

"Pleeasee, Ted," I begged, trying to act as seductive as I could. "You don't have to dance; we'll just sit and talk." I rubbed my hands over his chest and nibbled on his ear. When I was just about to give it up as a lost cause, he reluctantly agreed.

We had a great time at the prom, just talking and laughing with our friends. I should say I talked and laughed, Ted mostly sat and grinned. I doubt he said a dozen words the entire night, but he did seem to enjoy the evening, up until the time Andy asked me for a dance. I could see it bothered Ted, but I really, really wanted to dance at least once, so when Ted motioned for me to accept, I followed Andy to the floor.

"You're the prettiest girl here," he whispered as he led me through a waltz. "Too bad you're stuck with the farm boy. You and I could make such beautiful music together after we get to the lake house." The class had rented a place on the lake for after Prom activities.

I won't bore you with all the details. Let's just say we danced through three slow numbers and that Andy really was like a snake in that he could seem to mesmerize a girl. Knowing Ted was sitting right there watching, I still seemed to fall under his magic. By the second number Andy was holding me entirely too close, yet I couldn't seem to help myself. When he pressed close enough that I could feel his erection, I didn't pull back. Encouraged, his hands moved down to my bottom and he ground his thing against me.

I saw Mr. Pool, one of our chaperones, headed our way to break us up. Apparently Andy didn't see him, for when I tried to back off, instead of pulling away, he kissed me. I slapped him before I thought about it. He looked completely shocked. This was probably the first time he'd ever had his face slapped. He raised his right hand to slap me back but he was too slow.

A hand as big as a small ham locked around his wrist. That's when I realized he'd been acting outrageous simply to irritate Ted. Well—maybe not just to piss Ted off, I'm sure his manhood pressing against me felt good to him; it really felt good to me too, but back in those days a girl had to keep up appearances.

"Apologize to the lady, asshole." I had never seen Ted that mad before; his face was contorted in rage and the muscles on the arm holding Andy bulged, displaying all those years of heavy farm work.

"Fuck you. I'm not doing anything she really doesn't want me to do. Besides, if you weren't such a hick she'd be dancing with you and I wouldn't have had chance to feel that cute little ass."

Andy really shouldn't have said that. Ted's right fist caught him flush on the nose, breaking it and knocking Andy flat. "Come on, big shot. Get up and show us what you got." Ted stood over him, motioning with his hands for Andy to get to his feet. I had a good look at Andy's face and I'm pretty sure he was glad Mr. Pool was there to break up the fight.

Andy didn't make it to the lake that night, nor did Ted and I. Ted knew of a great place to park and look at the moon. We had been there once before but things had advanced only to the point of heavy petting. We both knew tonight would be different. On the way out of town, we stopped at the gas station where we both used the rest room.

"Got them?" I asked when he returned to the car. He nodded his head and slipped his hand from his pocket; opening it, he showed me three round packages wrapped in gold foil. We kissed when he opened the door for me. Back in those days seatbelts were unheard of, so I slid over next to Ted and for the next ten minutes or so we drove in total silence. I was aware only of the hum of the tires, Ted's hand rubbing my inner thigh under my dress, and my thoughts of what lay ahead of me this night. One thing I was sure of; I would not enter college as a virgin.

Ted's right hand stroked my bare skin ever so lightly. I shivered and caught my breath each time he got near my panties. He continued stroking, always stopping just before touching the thin fabric, and I began to relax and enjoy the moment.

Then the hand didn't turn back, but continued to roam over my panties, making little circular motions on my stiff pubic hair. When it first touched, I took a sudden intake of breath. I was so nervous I forgot to breathe for a few moments. It felt so good for him to rub me; I had never felt anything like it before. The times I played with myself couldn't hold a candle to the way Ted was making me feel. I wanted to work my pelvis up against his hand, but I was so stupid back then I thought nice girls didn't do that, so I just sat there, burning with desire, while Ted's hand got ever bolder.

My reserve didn't last long. Ted pulled the car up to a fishpond where we could see the moon across the water. The moon's reflection on the water really set a mood for romance. Our first kisses were just tender touches of our lips accompanied by Ted stroking my hair, touching my earlobes and sliding his fingers softly up and down my neck. As I got more turned on, his gentle kisses turned to open mouthed, passionate, tongue probing action. I was so naive I didn't dare reach for Ted's cock, as bad as I wanted to feel it. My breath was coming in gasps and I noticed Ted was breathing hard too. When his fingers moved up the inside of my thighs, they drove me crazy.

I was still sitting there all prim and proper when Ted hooked a finger under my panty's leg band and slowly rubbed my stiff curly hair. When he touched my labia, it felt like he'd dipped his finger in oil. I was too new to realize it was my body preparing itself for an intruder. So much for the reserved act; my body overrode all objections and did what comes naturally, as the old song used to go.

I locked my arms around Ted, while my tongue explored his mouth. My breath was coming in gasps and his finger continued to explore my burning core. I lifted my hips to help him slip my panties off, then lay there impatiently waiting for him to get his pants down. While he was undressing, he handed me the condom package telling me to open it.

"I never did this before." My objection sounded feeble, even to me.

"Me neither," he admitted, and then when I was fumbling with the package, trying to get the tin foil unwrapped, he took it from my hand. Things weren't much better for him either, until he used his teeth to tear into the tin foil. Spitting a section of foil on the floor, he handed me the rolled condom. "Here, I read in a book it's sexier when the girl puts it on."

Who was I to argue? If the book said that, it must be right. I took hold of his stiff shaft, it must have been about six inches long and I could barely make my fingers meet around it when I tried to stroke it a couple of times. For the first time, I realized a boy put out lubricate also. This must be what they call pre-cum, I decided.

I know you girls must be rolling on the floor by now, but I'm telling you, back at that time, neither Ted nor I knew very much about sex. We knew where babies came from and that we better wear a condom, commonly called a rubber back then, and that was about it. I repeat—we led a very sheltered life. I don't know about Ted, but my family never got around to the birds and bees talk, so the sum of my knowledge consisted of a lot of half-truths picked up from girl talk.

Believe it or not, I didn't start rolling it down his shaft backwards, so it went on fairly easy. It almost reached his curly hair when I finally got it completely unrolled. Ted checked it out by using his hand to make sure no wrinkles were in it; I don't think there was any room left for wrinkles, once he got that thing encased properly.

I stretched out on that big bench seat, remember back then cars were full sized, not the paltry little things of today, and he placed one of my legs across the seat back, then spreading the other so that my foot was on the floor, as far under the dash as he could get it, he kneeled between my outstretched legs.

Using his hand, he slid his rubber encased shaft up and down my slit. God, it felt good. I could feel my juices begin to leak. Finally he stopped rubbing on my labia and wiggled it around, finally pressing on one spot. I could feel the head trying to enter, but it was starting to hurt just a bit.

"Ready Honey?" Ted stopped pushing. "They say this is going to hurt."

"Huh uh. I'm ready." Ted shoved forward, I could feel a burning pain in my pussy, and I thought for a moment I would pass out. I swear, I don't think it could have possibly hurt Andy more when Ted's fist collided with his nose. At least, after I felt it pop through something, Ted held still for a while. Well there goes my cherry, I remember thinking. Finally the hurt lessened and even started to feel pretty good.

When the hurt had almost gotten to the point it could be described as 'hurt so good' I gave a tentative push upward with my hips. Ted set a slow, rocking pace. As he did so, I could tell he was slipping farther and farther inside. I had started to really enjoying it when I noticed Ted was beginning to breathe very hard. I cracked my eyelids so I could see his face; it was red and grimaced up like he was in pain.

"I can't hold it!" His words were followed by his hips beginning to pound against mine and that wonderful hunk of meat between my legs was slipping in and out like a piston. "Urrrr," he grimaced and shoved himself as deep as he could and held it there. I felt his thing throb several times; then I notice it didn't feel as big as before. That shows you what a babe in the woods I was. As a 'nice girl' the mechanics of the male's cock and sex education was neither taught nor talked about in 'polite company.' I felt it slip out completely when Ted shifted his weight off me.

"Did you go Honey?"

I didn't know what he was talking about, but I said, "Yeah, I think so." As inexperienced as I was, I somehow sensed it was important to Ted to think I had 'gone', whatever that was. We may have tried to do it again before going home, but after Ted got completely off of me, we realized just how much blood was on our clothes and worse yet, on the seat of his Dad's car. Thank God the upholstery was vinyl. We straightened up as best we could before going back into town to find a service station still open. That gave us enough light and we used a couple of their cleaning cloths to clean everything good enough that Ted's Dad never mentioned it.

I slipped into the house that night without Mom, who is usually a very light sleeper, coming in my room to question me about prom night. Relieved I had made it back to my room without getting caught; I locked the door and stripped to examine myself in the mirror before taking a shower. Funny, I thought, I'm now a woman, but I don't feel any different—don't really look any different either. Then I used my hand mirror to check myself out 'down there.' My nether lips were all red and puffy, along with traces of blood. When I touched myself down there just to see how a finger would feel it stung like mad. I spent a long time in the shower that night. I guess I thought enough hot water running over my body would wipe away all sign of what I had done. I used up almost a half bar of soap scrubbing away "my guilty stains", as the preacher was so fond of saying.

It must have worked; when I came down to breakfast next morning nobody seemed to notice 'slut' written across my forehead in bright red letters; or anything else different about me, for that matter.

Right after we finished I started cleaning the breakfast dishes. This was so unusual Mom asked what had happened to me. I swear, I was so nervous I almost blabbed the whole thing right there,

All morning I was torn between guilt and worry. What if he doesn't call, I wondered. Maybe he figures, 'now that he has the milk, there's no need to buy the cow,' as I Grand-Dad used to say. I was a nervous wreck by noon. That's when Ted got in from the field and called to see if I would go out with him that night. Would I!

"Yes!"

"Pick you up about six. We'll grab a burger then go to the drive-in."

I walked on air the rest of the day. The sun was brighter, the air smelled fresher, and the birds sang sweeter. God was in His Heaven and I would be in Ted's arms in just a little while.

I was dressed and waiting in the porch swing by a quarter till. When Ted pulled up, I didn't wait for him to come get me; I jumped up and ran to the car. He did have time to get my door opened for me and as I slid in he leaned over enough for his lips to brush mine.

We chose a booth near the back of the Burger Palace and after the waitress brought our food we were pretty much by ourselves. As we talked, Ted kept rubbing my legs, even getting bold enough to slide his hand under my dress.

"Quit! Somebody might notice." I pushed his hand away.

"Nobody can see us back here." He shoved his hand under my dress again, all the way to home base. It felt good and I eased my legs apart just enough for him to work a finger under my panty's leg band.

"We'll never finish eating, if you keep that up."

He didn't stop and I really didn't want him to quit. His finger stroking my labia turned me on, but of course being a 'nice girl,' of that day and time, demanded I act like a 'nice girl.' "We better stop, or we'll miss the start of the movie."

"I don't care about any old movie—not when I can feel you." He continued to stroke my lips, slipping a finger inside.