Megan and I had been living together for the last two years, and things were going so well that I decided it was time to pop the question. One Friday I bought a suitably extravagant engagement ring that I felt she'd love and hid it away until the next morning. I intended to propose over breakfast.
Breakfasts were a special time for the two of us, especially on the weekends. Megan and I loved to fix elaborate meals together and then linger over them for several hours, sipping coffee, reading the newspaper and working the crossword puzzle together. So it seemed very appropriate for me to propose at a time we both cherished.
She was deep in the editorial page when I felt the time was right. The newsprint in front of her face screened me from her view, so I was able to slip around the table and kneel in front of her without being noticed. I opened the box containing the ring, held it up in both hands and ostentatiously cleared my throat.
When she lowered the paper and saw me there, her eyes widened in astonishment. "Megan," I said in my most sincere tone, "waking up beside you in the morning and enjoying breakfast together these last two years have been so wonderful that I want to keep doing it for the rest of my life. Please make me the happiest man in New York City by agreeing to become my wife."
I waited for her squeal of delight and fervent embrace, but all she did was sit there in stunned silence, her face reddening by the moment. Finally she took the ring from my hands and looked at it for quite a while before handing it back to me with a sigh. "This is not the way I'd wanted to tell you, Jake, but I've been seeing someone else. I was going to move in with him next week, but I guess we'll have to move up our timetable now. I'm sorry."
I remained kneeling in front of her, so stunned that I was unable to speak. She looked at me again. "It is a beautiful ring," she said wistfully. Then she arose and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I could hear the chirp of her cellphone and the tones of a hushed conversation.
When the doorbell rang an hour later, Megan rushed to open the door, admitting a tall, attractive-looking guy about my age. As I sat apathetically on the couch in my pajamas, he and she began carrying her belongings from our apartment out to what I presumed was his car. Neither of them said a word to me as they worked, but, as they were leaving for the last time, she paused at the door and cast a pitying look at me. "Have a good life, Jake," she said quietly, and then she was gone.
I don't remember anything else about that weekend, and if it were not for my Outlook calendar, I probably wouldn't remember anything about the week that followed at the law firm either. I think (hope) I was able to focus on the cases I had and the clients I saw, but I can't be sure. Over time, however, the opportunity to immerse myself in my profession offered a sort of anesthesia that helped me survive. During the day I could bury myself in work, but the nights were hard and breakfast was harder still, especially on the weekends. Not only did I have no distractions then, but every aspect of breakfast -- food preparation, reading the newspaper, working the puzzle -- held excruciating memories.
After a few weeks of misery I resolved to do something to try to break the cycle of self-pity into which I had fallen. So instead of fixing my solitary breakfast as usual, I got dressed one chilly morning and left my apartment to look for someplace else to eat.
I'd only walked a couple of blocks before I came across a neighborhood restaurant that wasn't part of a chain. The sign over the door said "Manny's" and below it was a blue neon sign that read "Open for Breakfast."
When I entered, the place was surprisingly busy, which I took for a good sign. If my neighbors patronized the place, the food must be okay, I thought. A man -- I later learned he was the owner -- approached me and asked, "How many for breakfast, sir?" I felt a twinge of pain as I told him "one."
He steered me over to a table with two chairs against one wall, and seated me so that I sat facing the door. I was glad he had done so because I thought it would be nice to observe the people who came and went. That way I wouldn't be eating entirely alone, even though I was the only one at my table.
The menu he gave me was old and laminated with thin clear plastic. Obviously, Manny's seldom if ever changed its offerings. I found that somehow reassuring. There were the usual selections on the page with the breakfast items -- eggs, pancakes, sausage and the like -- but in a small box I spotted "Manny's Homemade Granola" and, on a whim, ordered it.
The bowl Manny brought me was unlike any granola I'd ever seen. There were whole oats that were lightly cooked, chunks of almonds and walnuts, and a mix of dried cranberries and blueberries. I also tasted cinnamon and some other spices I didn't recognize. Initially I feared the concoction would be too dry to eat, but after pouring a little milk over it, I found the cereal delicious. The steaming mug of coffee Manny brought with it proved the perfect complement.
And so Manny's became my regular place for breakfast. Manny soon came to recognize me, and when I went in he would automatically usher me to the same little table by the wall and bring me my coffee and homemade granola without asking. I began to feel comfortable. It wasn't as good as eating breakfast with Megan, but it was far better than eating alone in my apartment.
One morning after I had been seated, I noticed several customers milling around waiting for a table. I thought for a moment and then beckoned Manny over. "If it would help, I'd be glad to share my table with someone else," I told him. He nodded gratefully and went over to the customers by the door. A minute later he brought a middle-aged man back to me, saying, "This gentleman doesn't mind sharing his table."
The fellow nodded at me in thanks, and, after he had placed his order, pulled out his paper and began to read. "Just like Megan," I smiled to myself, and this time the memory didn't seem to hurt quite so badly.
From then on, any time Manny's began to fill up, I'd keep an eye out for a lone customer, wave and invite him or her to take the unused seat at my table. Most of my breakfast companions, after acknowledging my offer, ate in silence, but some took the opportunity to strike up a conversation. If the talk turned to politics or other areas of controversy, I'd retreat behind my own newspaper, but sometimes the other person would treat me like an old friend, talking familiarly about life, family and other topics, sometimes of quite a personal nature. It was as if the anonymity of this chance encounter with a total stranger lowered normal barriers, and my tablemate would freely express his or her feelings, seemingly without reservation. Occasionally I would talk about my experience with Megan, but more often I would just listen, keeping the conversation going with a question or two to let my newfound comrade know I was indeed interested.
I began to look forward to these encounters: they became a new and unexpectedly pleasant diversion. Having grown up in Manhattan, I had been used to shutting out strangers, never making eye contact much less initiating a conversation. Now, although sharing tabletop intimacies still felt alien, I found the brief, no-commitment exchanges appealing.
One busy Saturday I noticed an intense-looking man enter the restaurant, and I immediately waved to him to join me. A look of relief came over his face and he hurried over to my table. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find you," he said hastily, "since I didn't know what you looked like."
I immediately realized that he must be looking for someone else, but before I could correct him, a strange impulse seized me. I had, I realized, an opportunity to take my little game in a new direction. It was a risk, but I could always plead mistaken identity if things got awkward. I decided to try it.
"I didn't know how to recognize you either," I said, "but I was sure it was you when you came in."
He nodded comfortably, then sat there, obviously waiting for me to make the next move.
What to say, what to say? "So," I said, trying not to look nervous, "is everything all set?"
He looked at me uncertainly. "Yeah, if you're OK with the price."
I looked at him evenly. "About the price, I don't know if I can go that high."
The intense man became agitated. "I thought we had a deal!" He pulled out a handkerchief and mopped his brow. Restoring it to his pocket, he looked at me again with an imploring expression. "Look, $5oo is a good price, you've got to admit it."
"Yes," I acknowledged, "but $400 would be even better."
He put on a look of pained astonishment, but somehow I sensed that it was false. "You're killing me -- $400 is below what I've got in it."
I decided to play along with him. "Alright, then how about $450?"
The speed of his response told me I'd read the situation correctly. "$450? My wife is going to kill me. But, okay, I'll do it for you -- $450, in cash."
He extended his hand across the table, but I didn't take it right away. "$450 in cash, but not until I take possession," I said firmly.
"Of course," he said and grabbed my hand. "Just come by my place tomorrow afternoon at 5:00 and it's all yours. You won't regret it." Then he looked at his watch. "Listen, I've got to run. It was good doing business with you. Don't forget: 5:00 o'clock tomorrow, and bring the cash with you."
I nodded, and as he got up he grabbed my check along with his own. "This is on me," he said with a wink before striding to the cash register to pay.
"He was too happy with the deal," I thought to myself. "I'll bet he's only got $300 in it -- whatever 'it' is."