It came in the mail two weeks ago, an envelope containing a monthly statement that changed my life completely. It showed a past due balance of $435.00 from The Woman's Health Clinic in our state capital.
It also raised a lot of questions in my mind as to why there should be a bill to begin with. We have great health insurance, paid for by my wife's employer and we never have to pay a dime in co-payments. If there was some thing wrong with my wife, why didn't she charge it to her insurer and tell me about it? This has to be a mistake, so I gave the clinic a call. The answer I got was totally unexpected.
"No sir," the bookkeeper explained to me, "it's no mistake. The patient was Margarita Simpson. I have a copy of her driver's license in front of me and it shows the address to where we sent the statement."
"But we never got the bill; I don't know what it was for."
"It was paid for by a third party when the procedure was done, but the check bounced. I have a copy of the bill here in front of me. It was for a D & C. $400.00 and the additional charges are $25.00 for the bounced check and $10.00 for late payment. Your wife wanted to pay with cash but we have been held up three times this year so we stopped taking cash. For some reason she didn't want to use her credit card or her personal check so a woman behind her in line volunteered to pay with her check and took the cash for herself."
Sure, I said to myself, we have joint banking and credit card accounts. She didn't want the Woman's Health Clinic showing up on our statements.
Then I asked, "What's a D & C?"
"It's a euphemism we use for an abortion; people don't like to see that word on their bill. I have her record here in front of me. She was ten weeks pregnant. There were no complications from the procedure. Would you like to pay for it now with your credit card before it incurs additional charges?"
An abortion? Ten weeks pregnant? I had a vasectomy after our fourth kid was born and that was years ago. How could she get pregnant? Of course I knew how, the old fashioned way, that's how. She had to be fucking around on me. I just sat there with the phone to my ear, not able to speak.
"Mister Simpson? Are you there? Hello."
"Oh, yes, I'm here." I was knocked for a loop, but I was here, just struck dumb by the revelation. "No, please send me a copy of the bill with a copy of the driver's license and I'll send you a check."
OK, but please send it promptly or I will have to charge another $10.00 at the end of the month."
A $10.00 late charge was the least of my worries. What the hell was going on with my wife? Maggie and I have been married for eighteen years. Eighteen good years, two kids in high school and two in middle school and I would have done it the same way all over again if given the chance. Why would she jeopardize a perfectly good marriage like that?
She works as sales person for a pharmaceutical company, she does missionary work. When the company comes out with a new drug or test kit, she goes out to all the hospitals to see their doctors and apprise them of the benefits of the new product. Several times a year she has to go to seminars at headquarters, to be educated enough to pass on the proper information. She was away from home and her office almost every working day. She has plenty of time and opportunity to cheat.
It was just a fluke that I got this statement instead of her. She was at headquarters today for an unusual overnighter; they had a lot of new product to push. Usually she brings in all the mail since she is almost always home before I am. Doctors don't like to stay later than they have to, so she rarely has to make a sales call after four o'clock. So I decided to wait until the bill came from the clinic to see what she would do about it. As expected, she never told me that it came.
A week after I got the statement I placed it in front of her. She paled when she got a good look at it. "What is this for she asked?"
"It's a statement for an unpaid bill."
"Why are you showing it to me?"
"It's addressed to you."
"Oh yes, I didn't notice. It must be a mistake, I'll call the about it."
"Didn't you get a bill from them?"
"No, why should I get a bill, I don't know what this is for. I told you, I'll call them and straighten this out."
"You don't have too; I already called and told them we never got the original bill. They said they would send a copy. Did you get the copy?
Her demeanor changed from trying to play dumb, she changed to trying to bluff it out. I could almost see the wheels spinning in her head. I didn't give her a chance to regroup.
I asked, "What's a D & C?"
"Nothing to worry about, just a woman's problem. It hit me when I was at headquarters so I just took care of it there instead of waiting until I came home."
"Why didn't you let our insurance pay for it? That's why we have the insurance."
"I didn't want you to know that I was having a problem so I paid for it with cash. "
"The clinic said it was paid with a check that bounced.
"I don't know anything about that?"
"Maggie, you are tripping all over yourself telling me lies. Let's go back. Why were you at that clinic?"
All I got in reply was stubborn silence.
"It was to have an abortion, wasn't it?"
That was when the tears started but that was all the answer I got.
"We both know it wasn't my child you killed, we know it couldn't be. We also know that means that you have been cheating on me. The question is, was it a one time thing or an affair. Was it one guy or a series of one time stands?"
That brought on a bout of hysteria and I could see that I wasn't going to get anything out of her at the moment. She ran off and locked herself in our bedroom.
I went into the family room to think. I knew our marriage was over, I wasn't going to be her cuckold and I wasn't going to countenance her fucking around. It was just too God damned complicated. Four kids, one ready to enter college. How the hell was I going to handle the expense of a divorce and loss of her income? How could she do this to me, to us?
We have a pull out bed in the family room and I slept there in my underwear. I woke, in the morning, to the clatter of Maggie making breakfast. I walked right past her on my way to our bedroom, neither of us saying a word. No kiss good morning,
In the bustle of breakfast, with none of the kids seeming to notice that all the conversations were between themselves and their parents, but none between Maggie and me. The kids finally left and we were left with a crushing silence. Maggie was at the sink finishing the dishes her back was to me.
I saw her stiffen when I asked, "Are we going to talk about this?"
"I don't have time; I have an early appointment,"
"What's more important, your appointment or your marriage?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Because if I don't know any more than I know now, then my first stop on my way to work will be at a lawyer's to hire him to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery."
"But you can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I love you and our family, I don't want a divorce."
"Maggie, you were carrying another man's child. You aborted it. Does he know what you did?"
"No, of course not, I never told him I was pregnant. He's Catholic and would never have let me do that."
"But you let him fuck you. How long has this been going on?"
Tears were falling down her face again; she shook her head, meaning she didn't want to answer. But I was insistent.
"How long Maggie?"
No answer. I rose to my feet and started for the door.
"Almost six months," she hastily blurted out.
Six months. That stopped me in my tracks. Six months, and I never had a clue. How blind could I have been not to see that? I was blinded by my love and trust in her, that's how. Then I had to ask the question I knew would hurt me because now I knew why our love life had slackened of late.
"How often?"
"Please Jerry." she pleaded. I turned to leave again.
"Once or twice a week," she hastily answered.
Once or twice a week for six months! Thirty or forty times! Jesus, he was getting more pussy than I was!