I guess "typical" defines at least the first twenty one years of my (Kevin Alston's) life. I was about average in everything including smarts, athleticism, size, personality, and experiences. I had really good days, and really bad days, did some noble things, and some ignoble ones, probably in a coffee creamer ratio (half-n-half). I was better looking than average, and that got me a few more sexual experiences than normal, but otherwise I was boringly typical.
When I was twenty one I met Sharon, also twenty one. I had a much different reaction to her than any other girl/woman I had ever interfaced with in my life. I guess it could be best described as butterflies populating my nether regions. I swear that my balls swelled up and my dick got hard not just at first look, but first glance. Her sparkling eyes and warm smile were intoxicating – especially since they seemed to say "Why don't you find out?"
I guess most guys would not consider Sharon drop dead gorgeous, but I sure did. She had the mysterious "it" factor that enhanced all of her physical and personality characteristics. I fell hard. Fortunately, she did too. We got married when we had both recently turned twenty two.
Relevant to this story is the fact that Sharon had a fraternal twin sister Cybil. They were the only children to Tom and Alicia Simpson. Getting the full story from the family about the circumstances surrounding Tom and Alicia's marriage was not possible for enigmatic reasons, but I did get that Alicia had Sharon and Cybil when she was only eighteen. To me Tom and Alicia seemed an odd couple. Tom was staid while Alicia was a fire cracker. Tom was only marginally good looking while Alicia was – if only one word could be used – smoking hot (I guess that's two words – sorry). There was no doubt where Sharon got her "it" factor.
Although Cybil didn't really look much like Sharon she was just as good looking although – to me anyway – she didn't have the "it" factor like Sharon (and Alicia) did. Cybil got married about six months after Sharon and I did to a guy by the name of Jeremy Thomas who was almost exactly my size and could easily pass for my brother. In fact I think that fifty percent of people who saw the four of us together and knew that there was a set of twins would think that Jeremy and I were twins, the other fifty percent Sharon and Cybil. Jeremy was not the most exciting guy in the world, but I really liked him, and I think that he liked me. We certainly never objected when our wives wanted to do things together and bring us along.
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The first six and one-half years of my married life were about the only thing in my life that – up until that time – wasn't typical. It was pretty exciting. Sharon and I – with and without Cybil and Jeremy or other friends – often went out dancing, kayaking, bicycling, to concerts, and to plays; plus the sex was good – really good! Then things slowly started to change.
The changes were partly due to a job that Sharon had recently gotten than required off-hours work for a Christian charity. The other part of the changes were – for reasons unexplained and inexplicable to me – because Sharon started to get really religious. While we had previously gone to church a couple of times a month, Sharon now went every Sunday – most times without me – and had bible study two nights a week, something that not only didn't appeal to me, but was torture.
Maybe because they had the "twin connection" going on, Cybil started going with Sharon to all of her religious activities, and even started working for the same charity as Sharon.
From the six-and-one-half year point in our marriage to the eight year point our quality of married life significantly deteriorated – at least as far as I was concerned. Sharon and I grew somewhat apart because our interests started to really diverge. I still loved her, and I think she loved me, but that was not coming through to my satisfaction in the bedroom. When I tried to talk with her about it I often was quoted scripture, and/or it was glossed over.
It was not just the bedroom where things were sliding – the things we always did together and with friends started to slide too unless there was some religious component to them. Jeremy was having the same problem that I was, and we often commiserated by doing things together.
Things came to a head at our joint thirtieth birthday celebration. Since I was only two months older than the twins, and Jeremy just one month younger, we decided to have a joint birthday outing for the four of us. What I thought was going to be a fun all day picnic culminating with a river cruise where there would be dancing, turned out to me more of a sales-pitch day from Sharon and Cybil's church-going friends who seemed to significantly outnumber our previous group of friends. When the minister of Sharon's church (by now I went rarely) made some comment about the type of dancing that should be done and music that should be played on the river cruise – and Sharon and Cybil went along with it – it was all that I could do not to blow up and ruin the party for everyone else the same as it had been ruined for me.
Jeremy and I were sitting in a dark corner of the main "party" room of the river cruise boat, sulking, when Alicia – Sharon and Cybil's forty eight year old Mom – came up to us. She was half-lit, and had a glass almost full to the brim with bourbon, when she approached us, not normal behavior for her.
"Doesn't this religious crap make you want to puke?" was her rhetorical question as she plopped down next to us.
Jeremy and I smiled at each other and both chuckled. "You too Alicia?" I laughed. She never had us call her anything but "Alicia" from the first day that she met us.
"How are two intelligent, active, smart guys like you standing it? I don't even recognize those two anymore," she complained referring to her twin daughters.
We proceeded to have a raucous conversation where Alicia revealed much more to Jeremy and I than she ever had in the eight plus years that we had known her. It wasn't just her personality and thoughts that she revealed – it was also her body. Her less-than-proper-length skirt was riding up her shapely thighs, and if one made any effort to look her camel toe was in clear view since even though the corner was dark there was a light shining in from the outside that hit her in just the right place.
I was embarrassed that my balls swelled and my dick got hard, but I'm sure that Alicia didn't notice.
After we had been talking for about twenty minutes, mostly about how boring our lives had become, Alicia hit us between the eyes. Absent slurs and hiccups she said "You know, boys I've been living a boring life since the girls left for college. After about two years of it I was going to have to find something else to do, or get some young stud to fuck, so I got pro-active. I joined Bored Spouses Anonymous."
After I got over the shock of hearing my mother-in-law say "or get some young stud to fuck" I asked – quite smoothly I might add – "What's Bored Spouses Anonymous?"
"It's a club for people with boring spouses that does all sorts of things together to get the tedium out of their lives. There are events or outings about three times a week. We go to museums, to art lectures, play bocce ball, have picnics, go on bike trips, have dances, go to avant-garde plays, all of the things you two used to do before your wives had their religious conversion. Most members go to one event or outing a week, some – like me – almost all."
"What does Tom have to say about it?" Jeremy asked.
"He can come if he wants to but never does because he's the boring spouse I'm getting away from. While I'm having fun he either naps, watches TV, or does some other grossly boring thing."
"So he knows about it?" I asked, fairly incredulous.
"Hell yeah – so do Cybil and Sharon. They even came with me to two events before they met you guys." Then Alicia paused, and although I can't be sure seemed to intentionally move her legs apart so that almost all of her glorious thighs were exposed and her camel toe as pronounced and visible as any real dromedary's, said "There's nothing sexual about it. No Ashley Madison, if you know what I mean. A way to stay chaste despite a boring spouse."
Jeremy and I looked back and forth at each other and Alicia. I don't look at guys' packages but you couldn't miss Jeremy's; it was in the same shape as mine.
"Why don't you boys come with me to the next event?" Alicia asked after downing the rest of her drink.
"When?" I enthusiastically asked.
"The next one I'm going to is tomorrow while Tom is watching basketball on TV and the girls are at church. It's a country-western theme picnic and dance, from about noon until four. By the way, after the first introduction it costs $5,000 a year for a full membership, $3,000 for a limited one."
"Where do we meet?" Jeremy chuckled.
"If you want to go, meet me at Spoonbill Park between 11:45 and 12:15. Now let's get up and dance even if it is to that boring-as-hell Christian music."
***********
I wasn't sure that I would be going to meet Alicia at Spoonbill Park until the next morning. For some reason, as had been more common lately, although Sharon was in a good mood and had "just loved" one of the most boring (except for talking with Alicia) parties of my life, she didn't want to give or receive oral sex. We made "gentle love" as she called it rather than the wild monkey sex that I was after. When I woke up in the middle of the night with a hard-on to beat all hard-ons with fleeting thoughts of Alicia's thighs and camel toe in my mind, for the first time in two years I ate Sharon in the middle of the night and then fucked her while she lay on her stomach.
My pussy munching woke Sharon up; however she was partially out-of-it and just groaned and protested, clearly miffed, but she wasn't able to stop me from fucking the ever-loving-shit out of her and blasting my largest second load ever into her pussy' and by the time that I did she was clearly loving it.
When we woke up, despite how pleased she was from my middle-of-the-night activities at the time, Sharon was peeved. "Kevin, that really wasn't right what you did in the middle of the night."
"What was wrong? You used to love oral and a good monkey fuck," I shot back.
"Please don't use that language. Married people are supposed to make love, not get their rocks off like wild dogs. I'm just interested in tenderness."
We verbally thrust and parried a little more, then dropped it when we started eating breakfast. Then she hit me with "Today we have a full calendar of events at church; why don't you come with me. We'll be back by five p. m."
"When are you getting there?"
"In time for the 11 a. m. service."
"Gee – six hours," I said, trying not to sound like I was being asked to have two root canals without anesthetic. "I would Hon, but last night your Mom asked Jeremy and me to go with her to an outing for some club that she belongs to is having and we agreed."
"You mean the Highlander Club?" she sweetly replied.
Either Alicia didn't give me the real name, or didn't give it to Sharon, because "Bored Spouses Anonymous" and "Highlander Club" don't sound anything alike.
