Billie - Scarred for Life Ep. 04

I'm sorry it took such a while to produce this concluding episode. All the events that were to happen were decided long ago, but I had writer's block in the middle and had difficulty finding the right words to best describe those events.

*****

Here's where we were at the end of the third episode:

It was late 1976 and Billie and Jim had moved into their new home. Billie has overcome much of her embarrassment about showing the C-section scar on her abdomen and has worn a bikini on a few occasions around their new swimming pool with several other people present. Despite this new-found acceptance of what's 'outside', she still can't get rid of her self-defeating thoughts 'inside'. These thoughts have made it difficult for her to reach a satisfactory climax during sex with Jim and she is certain that he has become dissatisfied with her as a sexual partner.

Jim made a sexual advance to her close friend Jana, who has already had a liaison with the architect Barrington. Billie suggested Jana should accept Jim's advance as Billie is incapable of satisfying him. Jana said she would do it if her husband Roman could also have sex with Billie. Billie has agreed to this second part of the 'husband swap' and has proposed that the two couples should spend a Saturday night together at a romantic old guesthouse in the Blue Mountains.

However, she has also suggested that they don't need to make the final decision on who shares a bed with whom until after dinner on Saturday evening when they see how it is all working out between them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Making plans

Billie was feeling rather pleased with herself. Last night's discussion with Jim had gone well, and he had agreed to go along with her plans.

She had found a way to leave the final decision to the last minute, so that it could just be a pleasant overnight visit to the Blue Mountains for two couples taking an opportunity to have dinner at a restaurant that had received glowing reviews in Gourmet magazine - if that was all they decided it should be.

If, on the other hand, it all worked out as well as she hoped it would, Jim would decide to go to bed with Jana. It would be good for him to have sex that he really enjoyed; the sort of sex they used to have before it all started going wrong for her. And then, since the price of that was for her to have sex with Roman, she would do the best she could to make it good for him too. Maybe it wouldn't be so important to Roman that his partner should make it to climax each time. She could only hope.

"The guesthouse is called Glenella," she explained to Jana. "I've been reading good things about it for quite a while, and all the reviews say it's an amazing experience. They only take about twenty or so people for dinner and then we stay there overnight. The chef who owns it is one of the best in Australia, so even if nothing else happens we will still have a fantastic meal."

"I know one person who will be very disappointed if nothing else happens," said Jana, grinning. "Roman's been wanting to get his hands on your body ever since he first met you at the kids' swimming lessons. And after that time when he saw you in your undies, I think his cock stayed hard for the rest of that day. You say you worry about the things that go through your mind while you're having sex with Jim. Well, I know what was going through Roman's head while we were having sex on that particular night, and it wasn't me."

"Doesn't that worry you? He shouldn't. How can it be right if he's thinking of someone else?"

"Nah, of course it doesn't worry me," said Jana. "If we both enjoy it while it's happening, who cares?

"Anyhow, I'm starting to think that having this night away will probably be a good thing for you too. You made a big step when you agreed to get back into a bikini, and that worked out well. You've been really great with that, so maybe this will work out well too. Roman's good, and I think he'll be good for you. If not, you can think of Jim while Roman's doing it," Jana laughed.

"Well anyway, there's only one way we'll find out. How soon can we do it?"

"I'll give them a call and make a booking," replied Billie. Is there any weekend when you and Roman can't make it?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The weekend away

Glenella was booked out for the next two weekends, so Billie had three weeks to think about what she had agreed to. What worried her most was that in those three weeks Jim might change his mind. However, as the weekend approached, it seemed that Jim was becoming more keen on the idea.

"What did Jana tell you about that time she had sex with Barrington?" It was about a week before their weekend away. Jim had cautiously mentioned Jana a few times in conversation over the past few days, and Billie was sensitive to that caution. After all, he had come on to Jana, and she didn't want him to feel guilty about that. Billie had decided she wanted this to happen.

"How much do you want to know?" Billie was also being cautious.

"I d'know. Why did she do it? What happened when she went to the studio?"

"She did it because she's Jana. She says it's variety. She said that she and Roman didn't get a chance with anybody else before they got married and came out here, so they agreed that they might do it every so often when the opportunity knocks. Barrington was one of those opportunities.

"She told me about what happened at the studio. The funny bit was when he undressed her and left her panties on, then told her he wouldn't do it unless she took them off herself. That was weird. So, anyhow, she took them off and then they did it on that big antique desk he's got. They did it once on top of the desk and once with her leaning over it and she said it was good.

"You and I have been to his place that one time since, and I kept looking at that desk and thinking of Barrington lying on his back with Jana on top. It was hard to stop myself from laughing. I would have loved to tell you about it, but I couldn't because Barrington told Jana he didn't want you to know. Then he goes and tells you himself, the bastard."

"Yeah, well, Barrington reckons she's really hot." Jim looked as though he was about to say more, then went quiet. Billie thought it best to change the subject.

"I've arranged for mum and dad to look after the kids on Saturday and they can stay there overnight. Mum'll look after Jason too. I told her we were having the weekend up in the Mountains with Roman and Jana and that I've wanted to try Glenella for a long time and now we have the opportunity."

On the day, they all met at Billie's parents' place and said goodbye to the children. They left Roman's car and all piled into Jim's for the trip to the Mountains. "I'll hop in the back with Jana," said Billie. "There's more space in the front for Roman to stretch his legs."

On the way up, the conversation stayed in neutral territory. Billie suggested a few of the sites they could visit and a cafe where they should have lunch. Jana occasionally reached across and gave Billie's hand a small comforting squeeze, looked across at her and smiled reassuringly. Billie was actually feeling quite confident now the decision had been made, but thought it rather nice that Jana was expressing her encouragement.

They stopped at Glenella to book in, went and found the cafe Billie had suggested for lunch, then drove around to a couple of the lookouts and wandered through one of the local galleries. It was all very casual and Billie was feeling more and more confident as the day wore on.

Late in the afternoon they returned to the guesthouse, went to their rooms, showered and dressed for dinner.

"Are you sure of this, petal? What are you feeling?" Jim's concern for Billie was obvious.

"Yes, I'm sure. Very, very sure. I think it will be good for us for you to have a really good night with Jana. And I do want to spend the night with Roman. Maybe I'll find out something about myself if I do that." Billie was convincing herself with her words as much as she wanted to convince Jim. She knew she had to change somehow. Jana had said it: There was only one way Billie would find out.

But she needed Jim to feel comfortable with the decision too. "What about you, sweetheart? What are you feeling?"

"I felt like shit after that day in the pool. I knew I shouldn't have done it and I should have told Barrington to fuck off when he said I should try it on with Jana. But I'd had a couple of drinks and the two of us were playing around in the pool and she was pushing it even a bit more than she usually does and I just came out with it. I was hoping she wouldn't tell you. I hoped nothing would happen and it would just go away, but then you and Jana got together and said we should do this and now I think maybe it will work out OK. You seem to be really keen on the idea."

"I am. I really am. It will work out OK. I'm sure it will. Let's go to dinner."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"

Time for bed, I think

"

All five courses of the degustation lived up to expectations, with the quail being an absolute highlight. Coffee and port in the lounge room after dinner was pleasant, even relaxing. And so it seemed perfectly natural when Jana took Jim's hand and said "Time for bed, I think."

Jim looked across at Billie, who smiled and nodded. She was relieved that everything seemed to have happened so naturally. They said their goodnights to each other and headed off down the hallway to the bedrooms. Somehow it also seemed natural that the men chose the rooms, something Billie had wondered about. It hadn't been discussed or planned, but Jim led Jana to his room and Billie went with Roman.

"Let's just talk before anything else," Roman said as he closed the door behind them. He led Billie across to the big four-poster bed and they sat side by side on the edge. "Do you really want to do this, or is it something Jana has talked you into?"

"No, no. It was my idea. I want it for Jim. I think it will be good for him to spend the night with Jana."

"What about you, though?" He looked straight at her. "Is it what do you want?"

"Yes, I agreed with Jana if she would sleep with Jim, that I would go with you."

"That's not really answering my question," said Roman, gently. "You've told me what you want for Jim and what Jana told you she wants for me. Now, what does Billie want for Billie?"

"I . . . I don't know," Billie replied, uncertainty in her voice. "I just think that if I try this it might help. Has Jana told you about my problem?"

"A bit, not much. She said that scar from the caesarean was an emotional one more than it was physical and you thought you weren't doing it good enough for Jim in bed. I'm just wondering if what you're doing now is going to make it any better."

"I don't know. But it's like Jana said, there's only one way I'll ever find out."

"Maybe," replied Roman. "Maybe it will be enough that Jim realises that what he's got at home is better than what he can get from Jana."

"What do you mean? What is she planning to do?"

"I don't know for sure, but I have a few suspicions. She hasn't said anything, but I wouldn't put anything past her. Knowing her, I'm sure she's got something up her sleeve. She really cares for you and she wants to help.

"Anyhow, forget Jana. Let me tell you what I want. One thing I don't want is to fuck you - if I can put it as crudely as that. But I'd love to play with your body. Ever since I first saw you at the kids swimming lessons I thought how good it would be to get my hands on that body."

"What do you mean?" asked a very puzzled Billie.

"You must know that you have a body most women would die for? You must know what men are thinking when they look at you in the pool? When I saw you in the one-piece I thought I'd love to take it off you. You looked even better in the bikini and I still wanted to see you with it off. Now I've got my one chance to play. Are you going to let me?"

"You don't want to have sex with me?"

"Depends on what you call sex. Let's just say I think it would not be good for either of us for me to fuck you. And I'm going to keep my underpants on, so you don't get to play with me - I just want to play with you."

"All right, I suppose, but I still don't understand you. It's weird. I don't know how a man could do that and not go all the way when he's got the chance. But anyhow. I agreed with Jana to do it with you, so I suppose you can do what you want."

"Fanbloodytastic. Sit there while I strip off and then I'll get you ready."

Billie watched as Roman quickly stripped down to his boxers. He'd been in Speedos at the pool, so there was nothing new for Billie to see, but she did note this time his excitement was rather evident. 'I wonder,' she thought. 'Will he be able to keep that inside his pants?' Would she be disappointed if he did?

Roman stepped over to the dresser, opened a drawer and took out several lengths of soft cotton rope. "What're they for?" said Billie, feeling a little alarmed at what Roman may have in mind.

"Fear not, pretty one. We'll just put these to one side for now and we might try them later if you're feeling comfortable." Roman knelt and slipped off Billie's shoes, then stood and reached out, took both her hands in his and pulled her to her feet. She shivered slightly as he rested his hands lightly on her shoulders. Then he trailed them slowly down her arms. "So smooth, so soft," he murmered, turning her to face away from him. She felt her zipper run all the way down, and then tingly goosebumps as his fingers slid inside her dress and down to her waist.

"When somebody gives you a present as lovely as this, you unwrap it slowly." Roman's hands traced back up her sides and across to her shoulders. She shivered again as he pushed the straps off and down over her arms.

Roman moved around to face Billie and peeled her dress down. He knelt, taking it all the way to the floor and she stepped out of it. 'Damn pantihose,' she thought as Roman hooked his thumbs into the waistband and shucked them down. All the silly thoughts and jokes about pantihose as the killer of sex flitted through her mind. 'I shouldn't have worn them tonight.'

No problem to Roman, however. He used the opportunity to run his hands down Billie's legs. Her panties were gone with the pantihose, leaving her standing in just her bra.

He stood, moved behind her, unhooked the back, then stepped in close as her bra fell to the floor. He reached around to take a breast in each hand, pulled her tight against him and nuzzled into her hair: "A man could strangle himself in hair like yours and die happy," he whispered in Billie's ear. "I've not forgiven Jana since she cut her's short."

It seemed strange to be compared favourably with the ever-confident Jana. Roman said he could die happy strangled in her hair. Here was Jana's husband with his words, his hands cupping her breasts, to say nothing of his erection she could feel pressing on her back, telling Billie that she was a desirable, sexy woman.

Of course it was wrong for this to be happening - Billie knew this was wrong. But she had agreed with Jana that she would do it, and of course it was necessary for Jim to have the experience of sex with Jana. That would be so good for Jim.

But what Roman was doing with her right now was exciting Billie too. Billie hadn't felt so wanted since those earliest days with Jim. She couldn't understand exactly what it was that Roman wanted, but so far she was feeling more than just comfortable with what he was doing. Never before; not with Jim and not with any of her boyfriends before Jim; had she ever been simply a passive sex object. Even on occasions when Jim said to her "You just lie there and I'll do all the work," there was at least the expectation that every occasion would 'go all the way' and she couldn't stay passive when that was happening.

"OK my beautiful prize, now I want you face down on the bed."

This was it. He ushered her across to the foot of the bed and Billie crawled up and lay flat, resting her head on her hands. Roman lifted her left leg and commenced massaging her foot firmly, pressing his thumbs into the arch. The tingling she felt was more than just pleasant, and something she hadn't experienced before. Sexual encounters were supposed to start at the top and work down, weren't they? Not at the feet and work up.

Roman worked his way over her foot and leant forward, resting her foot against his chest. He massaged down her calf to her knee, then part-way up her thigh. 'How far up will he go?' thought Billie. What he was doing had her excitement rising. She knew that if he ran all the way to the junction of her thighs he would be able to feel how moist she was becoming.

It was not to be. At least, not yet. Roman lowered her left leg and lifted the right. He repeated the process, then lowered that one, leaving her legs parted just a little. "Now," he said. "The best bit.

"In all my life I've never seen a nicer bottom. Perfect. Perfect shape." He laid a hand on each cheek and squeezed. "When I first saw you at the kids' swimming lessons it looked so round. So firm and so tight, and I wasn't sure whether it was the swimsuit holding it in. But when you had the bikini on I could see it was the real thing. So round, so firm. I thought one day I would love to get my hands on that and now I have - you're mine to play with."

He spent several minutes massaging, then up and out over her hips and down to her thighs. She felt his hands drawing slowly inwards and up between her legs. He was so so close. Her eyes were closed, her heart was thumping and her breathing was becoming ragged. Could he feel the heat radiating from between her legs? She certainly could. His fingers were straying so close to her vulva. Inside she was clenching. Surely he could feel the heat there too?

Again it was not to be. Again his hands strayed outward, taking a path up over her hips, inward to the small of her back, down to where the crease began and then returning to the cheeks of her bottom. 'Is this all he's interested in?' she thought. 'It seems such a strange thing.'

Now he was massaging with his palms pressing down, his fingers outward and his thumbs inward, working to and fro, going ever so close to her sensitive anus and vulva, but retreating each time.

"Much as it grieves me to leave this beautiful bum, it's time to move on." Roman leaned back. "Roll over pretty lady, it's time for the front."

Billie rolled over. "Arms up," said Roman. "I'm going to tie your wrists to the bedposts, is that OK? I promise I won't tickle."

"Why? What do you want to do that for?"

"It's just something I'd like to do. Maybe I've got a thing about helplessly restrained maidens. But I think you'll find it feels different for you too. Trust me?"

"I suppose so," Billie giggled nervously. She closed her eyes as he fastened her wrists. 'They aren't all that tight,' she thought. 'I could probably pull out of them if I really wanted to.'

"Now your legs." Roman walked around to the foot of the bed and wrapped a rope around her ankles. Then another holding her knees together. "Just in case you or I get ideas we shouldn't have."

'I must look like a trussed chook.' What a strange thing for him to do. Billie had expected him to tie her ankles to the foot of the bed with her legs wide open much as he had tied her wrists to the bedposts. Well, now there was no way he could touch between her legs. Confusing. Should she feel happy about this? Or maybe just a little disappointed?

Roman crawled up on the bed and knelt, straddling her. She looked up at him looming over her. "Eyes closed, I'm the one doing the looking and the playing. You're the one being looked at and played with."

It felt strangely exciting having her arms tied above her head; her breasts felt so much more exposed. Knowing that she couldn't cover them with her arms made her feel so vulnerable.